Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
Wow. You people are Buz-y. I have a few questions...

1: This may be because I'm a partially-sheltered teenager, but WHO is Chuck Norris and Charlton Heston? The first name sounds farmiliar but...

So much for no child left behind. :P

Just what are they teaching in schools these days? I mean when when our teens are unfamiliar with such defenders of the free world (past, present, and future) as the venerable Norris and Heston? Without Chuck Norris Texas would be a vast and lawless wasteland full of cheats and bad guys. The Soviet Union would still be the Soviet Union. All those guys would still be POW's back in 'Nam. As for Heston, I mean where to start? The man single handedly saved our planet from a future of simian domination, without him we'd all be unarmed slaves to the monkey-state. :huh:

I feel it is my civic duty (and an honor i might add) to introduce you to the honorable Open Original Shared Link(ironically he likes to be called Chuck also) and THE MAN among men Open Original Shared Link. :rolleyes:

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
damn dirty double post!

Why am I laughing???? :blink: ..help me.. :lol: ..can't stop... :lol::lol::lol:

Daughter-of-TheLight Apprentice
Daughter-of-TheLight
Posted

I don't go to school!!!! I'm... *legasp* Homeschooled! I am not by any means seperated from society. I have speech club on Monday, Youth Group on Wednesday, Enrichment on Friday, and Church on Sunday! And I'm on the fone/im CONSTANTLY. So Charlton Heston and Chuck Norris are movie stars? (At least, thats what I gather...)

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
I don't go to school!!!! I'm... *legasp* Homeschooled! I am not by any means seperated from society. I have speech club on Monday, Youth Group on Wednesday, Enrichment on Friday, and Church on Sunday! And I'm on the fone/im CONSTANTLY. So Charlton Heston and Chuck Norris are movie stars? (At least, thats what I gather...)

Yes, and HEROes to some. Norris made his mark as an elite martial artist in the 60's and 70's. He then had a successful movie career in the 80's (action flicks - Rambo-type stuff), and spent the late 90's early 00's as Walker, Texas Ranger on TV.

Hestons was big in the 50's, 60's and 70's he played Moses in "The 10 Commandments", and starred in Ben Hur and the original "Planet of the Apes" and is currently the president of the National Rifle Association.

There you have the Cliff note version of their careers. B)

Daughter-of-TheLight Apprentice
Daughter-of-TheLight
Posted

Oh YEAH! And there might just be another reason why I don't know about these people. I... Don't really like TV. I Read a LOT more than I watch tv. (Ex. Read: as long as I can. TV: ah, at dinner, watching the news? {for debate...} so yeah) And I'm Christian so I don't watch a LOT of movies for moral reasons. Heck, that's why I don't watch most TV! (I like Avatar... And Naruto... And Inuyasha... but that's really not the same thing.)

Daughter-of-TheLight Apprentice
Daughter-of-TheLight
Posted
Yes, and HEROes to some. Norris made his mark as an elite martial artist in the 60's and 70's. He then had a successful movie career in the 80's (action flicks - Rambo-type stuff), and spent the late 90's early 00's as Walker, Texas Ranger on TV.

Hestons was big in the 50's, 60's and 70's he played Moses in "The 10 Commandments", and starred in Ben Hur and the original "Planet of the Apes" and is currently the president of the National Rifle Association.

There you have the Cliff note version of their careers. B)

Ahh.... Thank you? I've heard of Texas Ranger and the bible movies! (In fact I've seen the ten commandments...)

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

So here is an example of what they teach in schools these days. 5 years ago, I was working part time while in college as a Latchkey teacher for the YMCA KidsKlub program. It was an after school program, similar to daycare only these were school-age children.

The way they are teaching these kids math skills. It was so different from what I was taught. The kids in 3rd grade were learning early algerbra concepts....what am I going to do when I have kids. I couldn't grasp that when I was in school.....EEK!

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
So here is an example of what they teach in schools these days. 5 years ago, I was working part time while in college as a Latchkey teacher for the YMCA KidsKlub program. It was an after school program, similar to daycare only these were school-age children.

The way they are teaching these kids math skills. It was so different from what I was taught. The kids in 3rd grade were learning early algerbra concepts....what am I going to do when I have kids. I couldn't grasp that when I was in school.....EEK!

Algebra, but NO CHUCK NORRIS?!! :o

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

I know right!

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
Why am I laughing???? :blink: ..help me.. :lol: ..can't stop... :lol::lol::lol:

OMG- I think I just wet my (sweat)pants. Chuck Norris would do ANYTHING for love, but would he let his girlfriend use real toilet paper instead of HIS TOILET PAPER!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
3: How did *shiver* Micheal Jackson get into this conversation? He is FREAKY. If he HAS to stay, can we dress him up like the chicken man and have him on a dunking platform?

I missed the reference to Mr.(?) Jackson. I LOVE the dunk-tank idea, and it goes well with things flying in curving arcs. We'll have to fashion one with wheels on the bottom, as this is a moving cavalcade. The guns can also take aim at the bullseye to dunk poor little Michael. :lol:

4: Would you like me to create a sanity box for this parade? So no-one can bring their sanity in? (Grammer, by all means. Sanity, well, go hang yourself first...)

We will all be armed with our impeccable grammar, but no need for said Sanity Box. None of us have any to bring in... :lol:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
OMG- I think I just wet my (sweat)pants. Chuck Norris would do ANYTHING for love, but would he let his girlfriend use real toilet paper instead of HIS TOILET PAPER!

And people wonder why he's such a bad a$$. That just about says it all! :o

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
And people wonder why he's such a bad a$$. That just about says it all! :o

And look what happened the LAST time he was going to get married:

Chuck Norris had a bachelor party once. He ate the whole cake before his friend got to tell him that a stripper was inside it. :o

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
We will all be armed with our impeccable grammar, but no need for said Sanity Box. None of us have any to bring in... :lol:

Isn't that just the truth...when people ask why I am insane, I tell them I gave my sanity up for lent.

Daughter-of-TheLight Apprentice
Daughter-of-TheLight
Posted
We will all be armed with our impeccable grammar, but no need for said Sanity Box. None of us have any to bring in... :lol:

:) No, the sanity box is to be for those that come to VIEW the parade! Because I'm SURE some of them have Sanity...

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
And look what happened the LAST time he was going to get married:

Chuck Norris had a bachelor party once. He ate the whole cake before his friend got to tell him that a stripper was inside it. :o

...and add to that "The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist."

That's romantic :wub:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
:) No, the sanity box is to be for those that come to VIEW the parade! Because I'm SURE some of them have Sanity...

I say we burn the box during the parade and add the masses to our minions! BUUUUHAAHAAAHAAA! :o

Daughter-of-TheLight Apprentice
Daughter-of-TheLight
Posted
I say we burn the box during the parade and add the masses to our minions! BUUUUHAAHAAAHAAA! :o

YES! So we shall! So... should I make one?

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
OMG- I think I just wet my (sweat)pants. Chuck Norris would do ANYTHING for love, but would he let his girlfriend use real toilet paper instead of HIS TOILET PAPER!

:o ..only Chuck could take this pain

And look what happened the LAST time he was going to get married:

Chuck Norris had a bachelor party once. He ate the whole cake before his friend got to tell him that a stripper was inside it. :o

NEEARGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:

My sides hurt !!!! :lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Can anything really be considered Absurd here? :huh:

Now THAt is the ultimate absurdity... :lol:

Exactly.

And......OMG.....I feared it....no.....knew it.......wasn't sure when but.....HASSELHOFF is here....oh my gawd DON"T HASSEL THE HOFF (except w/ your tassels)

Because that is what happens when Silly Yaks convene and put their heads together, you get Charlton Heston dressed as a Care Bear shooting chocolates at oompa loompas off of a Wayne Newton Float set to the backdrop of Meat Loaf songs.

Precisely!!!!!!!!!

Julie, Julie! Ya got it wrong...Mr. Heston is not shooting at, he is shooting, Oompah Loompahs off the float. C'mon, now, that would be SILLY.....

:lol:

3: How did *shiver* Micheal Jackson get into this conversation? He is FREAKY. If he HAS to stay, can we dress him up like the chicken man and have him on a dunking platform?

:o Where did Michael Jackson come from? But yes, chicken suit and dunk machine is perfect.

"DAMN DIRTY APES!"

:lol:

Ah! Yes! Peeps!! I wonder if I could shoot them through my Marshmellow shooter if i tore them up into tiny peices... Or I could just FIREBEND them to dust. yeshhh... hmmm. Ohh! do I get me LoTR float?

Susie is a little concerned about theseviolent propensities and the fondness for, er, shooting things. Light, would you share with us where from whence this urge cometh?

:huh:

The way they are teaching these kids math skills. It was so different from what I was taught. The kids in 3rd grade were learning early algerbra concepts....what am I going to do when I have kids. I couldn't grasp that when I was in school.....EEK!

Well here's your solution......move to Fresno! <_< Most third graders don't even speak English (that is not an exaggeration), and they are doing NOTHING like algebra until about 9th grade at 80 percent of the schools.......:huh:

....and Part Deux coming later

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

.......and they just keep coming

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
.......and they just keep coming

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

:lol:

I love me some Chuck Norris :wub:

Saturday nights haven't been the same since Walker Texas Ranger went off the air.....

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Saturday nights haven't been the same since Walker Texas Ranger went off the air.....

AND, it's official....I have no life.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

Is there a full moon? :unsure:

we are far MORE MAD than usual...................... moo hooo haaa haaa haaaa haaaa!!!

Okay so I had lunch w/ Gail today (you'll remember from "stay alive, I will find you" fame), and I started, uh, trying to tell her about you nutballs. Nothing phases her......I am trying to get her to join us but alas, she does have a real and veyr important job (County Counsel) and can't play.

So I said....well, there's a parade, on a Care Bear float, w/ docile machine guns...Charlton Heston, Benicio del Toro and some other hunks, some oompa loompas, super soakers w/ mojitos and juice, projectile marshmallows.....and then Chuck Norris is driving a skull-covered ice cream truck, Yeti is a passenger, and it's playing Meatloaf's horrid "I Won't Do That...."

And she (nonplussed) just says, "What does it MEAN in that song, 'I Won't Do That,' what WON"T he do, anyway?"

So she decides that since her gay friend told her that today is National Coming Out Day (for those who haven't) that what Norris means is that he'll do anything for love but - won't do THAT - he won't come "out" - but that since today's the day, he now CAN and WILL come out.

:huh:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

So.....forget about all the other Chuck Norris stuff you've seen here folks.....we know where things REALLY stand.

Patti - - YOU have no life?????????

:lol: :lol: quite worried about self.

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
...."

And she (nonplussed) just says, "What does it MEAN in that song, 'I Won't Do That,' what WON"T he do, anyway?"

One of life's great mysteries, the meaning to Meat Loaf's "I Won't Do That" lyrics.

I mean if you really stop and listen to the song....it's a clever riddle I tell you.

Patti, you have a life!!!! Historically haven't some of the best tv shows been on Friday nights?

Dallas, who shot JR, was one of my faves, followed by the equally fabulous Falcon Crest (or the other way around can't remember, brain fog)

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. Adeling
      - Adeling commented on Scott Adams's article in Product Labeling Regulations
      2

      Global Experts Recommend Gluten Reference Dose: What It Means for Celiac Safety (+Video)

      What's missing, for me, from this article, is a timeline for implementation in countries. Western countries are often quite slow to implement, and some countries I've been to have no labelling whatsoever...
    2. Sue7171
      - Sue7171 replied to Ginger38's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      24

      Shingles - Could It Be Related to Gluten/ Celiac

      My husband just had shingles going on 7 weeks now. We had been putting Vaseline on the blisters and lidocaine cream and he was prescribed an antiviral. Also he still has the nerve pain it was bad and is getting better it is his upper left torso. His dr prescribed gabapentin 300mg 3x a day and he's also taking naproxen 500ng 2x a day and tylenol 1000mg every...
    3. sc'Que?
      - sc'Que? commented on Scott Adams's article in Product Labeling Regulations
      2

      Global Experts Recommend Gluten Reference Dose: What It Means for Celiac Safety (+Video)

      This is FANTASTIC--especially that they are recognising barley and (potentially) oats as sources of gluten/contamination! Now if only we can get labeling guidelines to clarify "spices" and "natural flavors" for those of us with other severe allergies.
    4. xxnonamexx
      - xxnonamexx posted a topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      0

      What's your daily meals? Protein bars?

      What are your daily meals? Guilty pleasure snacks? Protein bars? I feel when looking for gluten free foods they are filled with sugar cholesterol. Looking for healthy gluten-free protein bars. Something to fill since sometimes I feel like not to eat anything. Especially if on vacation and unsure of cross contamination I figure go with a salad and protein...
    5. trents
      - trents replied to Seabeemee's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      3

      Labs ? Awaiting in person follow up with my GI

      Unfortunately, there is presently no test for NCGS. Celiac disease must first be ruled out. NCGS is thought to be much more common than celiac disease. We know that celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder but the mechanism of NCGS is less clear. Both call for an elimination of gluten from the diet.
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      133,174
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Donna K Anderson
    Newest Member
    Donna K Anderson
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):

  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Sue7171
      Shingles - Could It Be Related to Gluten/ Celiac

      By Sue7171 · Posted

      My husband just had shingles going on 7 weeks now. We had been putting Vaseline on the blisters and lidocaine cream and he was prescribed an antiviral.  Also he still has the nerve pain it was bad and is getting better it is his upper left torso. His dr prescribed gabapentin 300mg 3x a day and he's also taking naproxen 500ng 2x a day and tylenol 1000mg every 6 hrs. Hope this helps  The lidocaine cream is by tylenol and is available in a large tube on Amazon or at Walmart 
    • xxnonamexx
      What's your daily meals? Protein bars?

      By xxnonamexx · Posted

      What are your daily meals? Guilty pleasure snacks? Protein bars? I feel when looking for gluten free foods they are filled with sugar cholesterol. Looking for healthy gluten-free protein bars. Something to fill since sometimes I feel like not to eat anything. Especially if on vacation and unsure of cross contamination I figure go with a salad and protein bar to fill and play it safe.
    • trents
      Labs ? Awaiting in person follow up with my GI

      By trents · Posted

      Unfortunately, there is presently no test for NCGS. Celiac disease must first be ruled out. NCGS is thought to be much more common than celiac disease. We know that celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder but the mechanism of NCGS is less clear. Both call for an elimination of gluten from the diet.
    • Seabeemee
      Labs ? Awaiting in person follow up with my GI

      By Seabeemee · Posted

      Thanks for your reply Trents…most appreciated.  I am unfamiliar with celiac labs terminology so I wanted to know if the presence of HLA variants (DA:101, DA:105, DQB1:0301 and DQB1:0501) that the labs detected had any merit in predisposing one to be more sensitive to gluten/carbs than the general population?  Also,  I found what you said about NCGS very interesting and I appreciate you mentioning that.  I’ve worked hard to research and advocate for myself with my Hematologist and now with a new GI, since my bowel surgery and to maintain my Vitamin B12 health concurrent with keeping my levels of Iron in the optimal range. I’ve been tested for SIBO (do not have it), biopsy showed negative for HPylori, and have had Fecal studies done (nothing showed up) and I understand how a loss of a large amount of bowel could be highly impacting re: SIBO, malabsorption and motility issues. So I’ve managed pretty well diet and elimination-wise until just recently. That said, this new problem with extreme bloating, distention and upper girth, NAFLD just occured over the last 4 months so it is new for me and I thought celiac might be a possible issue. I’ll probably just continue on in this less gluten/carbs seem to be better for me and see how reintroducing certain foods go.  Thanks again.    
    • xxnonamexx
      My journey is it gluten or fiber?

      By xxnonamexx · Posted

      Thanks bumped it up and now take all 3 vitamins 2 capsules each with the super b complex at breakfast. I will give it some time to see if I notice a difference. I am going to track my eating daily diary on a myfitness pal app to see if the "claimed" gluten free foods bother me or not.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.