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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
(In my best Homer Simpson voice) M-m-m-m, Peanut blossoms. How good are those while the kisses are still warm :rolleyes:

\

OMG...OMG....you mean.....peanut blossoms are those heavenly peanut butter cookies w/ the Hershey's kiss on them????

:( :( :(

What I wouldn't give......the thought of those........I could literally just snarf out on those....probably could eat....I mean, something just hit a NERVE for pete's sake when I thought wistfully of those......could probably easily eat 40 or 50 or....500 in one sitting......oh so sad.... :(

(will put on pounds just thinking of them)

Hubby is IN THE DOGHOUSE! :angry: for being heavyhanded and it looks like I'll be paying a visit to the vets too (cha-CHING indeed!)

Perhaps me & Susie could set up an international fund 'for people who can't really afford to take their pets to the vets'

Oh dear .poor pets

:o Nikkeigh!! dog house, indeed! Poor Will.....yes, we must set up the international fund - -

Limitless International Moneys for Pets of Silly Yaks (or LIMPSY) :huh:

Yes, Emily, mind the poodle! Keep an eye oh him....

The work colleagues get to go home - it's Richard's wife I pity....remember my hubby is a coeliac and trust me!..you DO NOT want to get your head caught under the covers :wacko: ....EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night - - some cauliflower for dinner - - later, a bomb :ph34r: , thank goodness quite short-lived. Not so bad when one afflicts oneself, or the dog on teh bed.....(she really doesn't mind)....but good Lord - to inflict it upon others! Cruelty, I tell you.

Tis true, I saw on the news that the Hoff was reportedly frolicking naked through Richard's neighborhood passing out gluten whilst smelling of wee......

That stinky, naked stalker! :lol:

smells of wee.... :lol:

I have just written the most ho-hum parole report. Another to follow....may go mad here. :huh:


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Darn210 Enthusiast

Helloooo Sillies . . .

I am totally having a blonde day today . . . there is absolutely nothing in my head except air. Can't think of one amusing thing to say.

Richard - sorry to hear that Hoff got ya' - I'm sure it was unintentional - probably just a little cc - it's hard to be careful when you're drunk and eating a Open Original Shared Link (and yes, I would call this video disturbing in more ways than one).

Keeping an eye on my own pooch . . . but she is already costing an arm and a leg. She's quite defective. Picked her out at the pound and 6 months later she was diagnosed with glaucoma (despite the fact that the vet said - no way it will be glaucoma . . . she's mixed breed and less than 2 years old - hmmm, no way, huh?)

Mtndog Collaborator

Janet-OMG- your avatar is KILLING me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as is Dingy's.

Richard- OUCH on the gluten intestinal twisting. BLECH!!!!! But I love the avatar! Peanut blossom, eh? Send 'em to me, would ya? YUMMER.

I love Patti (or the thought of patti) doing a Homer Simpson voice!

SNOW? In Colorado? YIKES!!!!!!!!!! It's 80 degress here and no- I DON"T LIKE IT! I want falll...........waaaaahhhhhhhhhh.................

Oh no...we need a LIMPSY and a friends and family of LIMPSY as my dad's kitty had a stroke this weekend. :( She's OK but she is my dad's close companion.

NO MORE INJURED ANIMALS (guarding Angus, Frisca and Simon)

Darn210 Enthusiast
I am totally having a blonde day today . . . there is absolutely nothing in my head except air. Can't think of one amusing thing to say.

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her

body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,

then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee

and screamed;

likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made

her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no"

she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

Mtndog Collaborator
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her

body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,

then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee

and screamed;

likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made

her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no"

she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

or she has Lyme disease :P

CarlaB Enthusiast
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

or she has Lyme disease :P

Yeah, or like me, BOTH!!

TriticusToxicum Explorer
The work colleagues get to go home - it's Richard's wife I pity....remember my hubby is a coeliac and trust me!..you DO NOT want to get your head caught under the covers :wacko: ....EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kindred spirits....I must say, on the positive side, the flatus is a wonderful cure for spousal snoring (hers, not mine). Maybe we could all make some money off this? :huh: Canned farts with amazing medicinal powers! Although I guess it's tough to snore when you're not sleeping...this may need some work <_< ...somebody get marketing on the phone!

BTW we have a strickly enforced (read: sharpened elbows) no-Wafting provision in our pre-nup. :P


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TriticusToxicum Explorer
\

OMG...OMG....you mean.....peanut blossoms are those heavenly peanut butter cookies w/ the Hershey's kiss on them????

These Open Original Shared Link?

What I wouldn't give......the thought of those........I could literally just snarf out on those....probably could eat....I mean, something just hit a NERVE for pete's sake when I thought wistfully of those......could probably easily eat 40 or 50 or....500 in one sitting......oh so sad.... :(

(will put on pounds just thinking of them)

The recipe makes about 4 doz. cookies. I had them on the cooling rack Sat. PM and Sunday AM...I ate about 1/2 of them :ph34r: ....As Patti mentioned - especially EVILLLLLLLL when the Kiss is melty :rolleyes:

I would offer to send you one, but I fear they won't survive my after-work binge :o

:o Nikkeigh!! dog house, indeed! Poor Will.....yes, we must set up the international fund - -

Limitless International Moneys for Pets of Silly Yaks (or LIMPSY) :huh:

Where do I donate?

Last night - - some cauliflower for dinner - - later, a bomb :ph34r: , thank goodness quite short-lived. Not so bad when one afflicts oneself, or the dog on teh bed.....(she really doesn't mind)....but good Lord - to inflict it upon others! Cruelty, I tell you.

Thou knowest thy love is true,

Onst the spouse doth begin to spew,

'neath the covers shar-ed,

cruel-ty and malodoUr aplenty,

Romeo, Romeo, why Fart-ed thou?

What stench from yonder skivvies emminates?

'tis true, 'tis pity, and pity 'tis 'tis true...

That stinky, naked stalker! :lol:

smells of wee.... :lol:

I shoulda smelled it coming :rolleyes:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Keeping an eye on my own pooch . . . but she is already costing an arm and a leg. She's quite defective. Picked her out at the pound and 6 months later she was diagnosed with glaucoma (despite the fact that the vet said - no way it will be glaucoma . . . she's mixed breed and less than 2 years old - hmmm, no way, huh?)

:o So sorry about this.....we will send representatives of LIMPSY over....I think Bob Goulet is the spokesperson so look for him soon......

My Stinker cost a few thousand....did you know, 1.5 years of chemotherapy (but less than $2000, it was going to be $6000 for ONE YEAR in Monterey - we drove to Salinas), she was expected to live no more than two years with the chemo, and was so sick that they said she'd have two to three weeks without treatment....she was four - - I was already, even back then, a crazy old dog lady....:huh: so treated her....and she is STILL ALIVE. :huh: Hence the nickname - Dog Who Will Not Die....(so sorry for those of you who already know this story and my repeated ramblings)

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: Richard said flatus :lol:

Ridgewalker Contributor
Which silly lives in NC? I'm jealous, that's where the Blue Ridge Mtns. are right?? Must get there in my lifetime....

Me! :D (Momma Goose is in NC too, other side of the state from me.) Yeah, we live in the foothills of the Blue Ridge. It's really beautiful, mostly. I avoid going to the stinky city whenever possible. :lol: Yes, you must come visit! I'm going to have lots of big barbeque parties when our landscaping is done. :rolleyes: My hubby thinks I'm a mite too ambitious with that, but I say, Hey we'll just do a bit at a time, it'll be fine!

nikki-uk Enthusiast
BTW we have a strickly enforced (read: sharpened elbows) no-Wafting provision in our pre-nup. :P

GAD! If only I'd known !! :rolleyes: (Twas married some 15 yrs before hubby got dx)

What can I say? With my son being a coeliac too I'm an expert at:

1)Knowing all quickest escape routes

2)How to defuse the most heinous of smells (Light a match ;) )

3)How to breath through the mouth only ;)

These Open Original Shared Link?

OMG!! NO calories on weekdays right?? :unsure:

Where do I donate?

Got paypal?

:lol: Richard said flatus :lol:

I KNOW ! Why does that word make me laugh so much?!?! :lol::lol::lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
Willbee (Will the kitty) fell off the dining table (missed the chair on his jump down - due to an over zealous shoo-ing by hubby <_< ) INJURED his leg :( ....can't put any weight on it! <_< ..is mewing!! <_<

Oh no--the poor little thing :(

Tis true, I saw on the news that the Hoff was reportedly frolicking naked through Richard's neighborhood passing out gluten whilst smelling of wee......

"smelling of wee" :lol: It's just always funny :P

I just got back from the Nursery. My neighbor downstairs had her baby yesterday morning.

A Boy--Landen

8lbs

head full of curly blonde hair.

Awww--best wishes to all of them :)

Richard - sorry to hear that Hoff got ya'

Hey--instead of saying "glutened" (getting a little sick of the word....), we could say I got "Hoff'ed".

NO MORE INJURED ANIMALS (guarding Angus, Frisca and Simon)

Yes, no more of this....going to check up on my kitty now.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Thou knowest thy love is true,

Onst the spouse doth begin to spew,

'neath the covers shar-ed,

cruel-ty and malodoUr aplenty,

Romeo, Romeo, why Fart-ed thou?

What stench from yonder skivvies emminates?

'tis true, 'tis pity, and pity 'tis 'tis true...

oh BRILLIANT! :lol:

pray do tell, Richard, from whence cometh this malodoUrous prose? It stinketh (but in a good way) :lol:

Hey--instead of saying "glutened" (getting a little sick of the word....), we could say I got "Hoff'ed".

Yes, GOT HOFF'D!!! particularly apt after the hamburger-spewing video.... :huh:

and OMG speaking of animals in peril - -

my mom's favoUrite kitty - George - - well, George has quite a sex drive. :huh: He is over six months old, got only half-neutered (one testicle had not descended - sorry folks, it's just biology :lol: ).....so he's still insane with passion for, er, many things :huh: (blankets, the remote control, my mom's arm, the two other cats)....SO - - today we will cross paths as mommy picks up George from his testicle retrieval operation (a smash success, says the vet, adn he even saved it in a jar, so *I* get to see it! :rolleyes: ) and Annie's inspection.

We three haven't had a walk since last thursday, and are going stark mad..... :(

Also taking care of the West Highland TErrier next door - - old Stinker is absolutely terrified of the annoying little guy - - :lol: She was shaking so badly yesterday - AFTER the dog had gone home - that her teeth were chattering......

:lol::ph34r: I shouldn't laugh but she is just quite an odd old lady dog sometimes :lol:

Julie - SNOW - - OMG - - that is crazy - and heat in the east/south - fires burning up Southern Cal w/ the Santa Ana winds fueling - - - here - - absolutely perfect fall weather.....but we are stuck inside, not able to walk in our beloved orchard....

RICHARD - - SEND ME THOSE COOKIES - - STAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

elye Community Regular

Hey--instead of saying "glutened" (getting a little sick of the word....), we could say I got "Hoff'ed".

I LOVE it! "Last night I was Hoffed at the restaurant". Let's start using it. However, some may think we mean that we wet our pants.... :lol:

I dunno what's worse, guys...spouse with heinous smell from flatus, or hockeyus baggus...

Darn210 Enthusiast
Hey--instead of saying "glutened" (getting a little sick of the word....), we could say I got "Hoff'ed".

:lol::lol:

Hear! Hear! A most excellent suggestion! I like it!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
I dunno what's worse, guys...spouse with heinous smell from flatus, or hockeyus baggus...

Well......at least that stinky bag doesn't have to sleep in your bed, does it? :P

elye Community Regular
Well......at least that stinky bag doesn't have to sleep in your bed, does it? :P

No, this is true...however, it also does not go to work during the day and give the house a reprieve... <_<

~alex~ Explorer
I dunno what's worse, guys...spouse with heinous smell from flatus, or hockeyus baggus...

Is your husband's hockey bag anything like this

?

The smell of my fiance's hockey bag makes me gag when I walk by it! And Febreeze is not allowed on the hockey bag because he thinks it's too sissy!

elye Community Regular

Is your husband's hockey bag anything like this

?

Yes! :lol: And that's his brand of beer, too...

DingoGirl Enthusiast

:(

A sad note in sillyville....

Annie - foot is better but tumours are troublesome.....she is going in for surgery tomorrow morning...to the tune of at least $500. These dogs are going to bankrupt me.....

but even more worrisome, is one of the tumours "felt funny" to the vet. What is with my dogs and tumours?

oh dear....that's it for me....I gots no funny in me right now.

carry on sillies......need lots and lots of prayers (for MY strength - she is my cuddlebug and my own personal therapy dog - never leaves my side, and it has been recognized by all who meet her that there is no sweeter, more beguiling, and tenderhearted dog, ever).

Am going to sell some things on eBay....will begin madly photographing and listing tomorrow.

:(

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Oh Susie.....I am thinking about you...sorry to hear about your cuddlebug...and the bill..Outrageous!

jerseyangel Proficient
:(

A sad note in sillyville....

A sad day indeed, sweetie :( I'm so sorry Susie. Of course you will be in my prayers--both of you.

I'm here anytime ;)

Darn210 Enthusiast

Awww Susie, you know you have my thoughts and prayers. Here's to a successful surgery and some quick answers.

That's a beautiful picture of your Annie!

~alex~ Explorer

Lots of prayers to St. Roch: the patron saint of dogs and those who love them.

DingoGirl Enthusiast

Oh sillies! :huh:

I am sorry to have injected such seriousness and sadness into the thread...

Please, carry on, I will check in tomorrow and NEED some laughs!!! Surgery in a.m.....then I"ll be home all day typing away.

THANK YOU so much for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers.......

:wub:

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