The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Darn210]

......I guess you could say I was suffering from a mild brain fart on that one

Well, that just begs the question . . . Do brain pharts count in your phart totals?

[nikki-uk]

Well, that just begs the question . . . Do brain pharts count in your phart totals?

GAD!!!!!!!!....hope so!!!!!!!!!!

[Green12]

Well, that just begs the question . . . Do brain pharts count in your phart totals?

Sounds like another one for the Oracle?

If they do count, my numbers will be really up there

[jerseyangel]

Sounds like another one for the Oracle?

If they do count, my numbers will be really up there

I was just thinking the same thing!

I just posted on the Lost thread

[jerseyangel]

And BTW Peter, I forgot to say Thanks for the welcome back! And how did you know I live in Surry County!? You just blew my mind.

I noticed that, too--now that you mention it....

Ok Peter, in which county do I live? Betcha can't answer that one

[~alex~]

Alex- I did not have a big wedding. If you want any pointers feel free to ask. Oriental Trading and Ebay are great places to find things. I did a beach theme. If you want I can show you some of our pics. Just PM me if you need anything.

Thanks so much, I'm sure I will have some questions in the coming months! I think of something new to think/worry about almost every hour.

Ryan and I were having fun brainstorming wedding song ideas last night. For some reason we both thought of Into the Mystic by Van Morrison. We might change our minds but I'm happy we were able to have a least one answer to the many things we'll have to figure out.

We're babysitting Ryan's niece and nephew tonight. They're 2 and 4. So much fun!!! The two year old calls me "Auntie X"

[Jestgar]

My vote for alex's wedding song:

Open Original Shared Link

[imsohungry]

O.K. people...here goes...

PHART>>>>>>>> who did that? Wasn't me. A lifetime of digestive problems makes it easy to look so innocent, yet be quite pleased at leaving everything in the Produce Dept. at Kroger wilted and dead. On one occasion, I accidently hit the Produce man, poor guy...he never saw it comin'...just an innocent victim in my line of fire. I just looked at him and said, "Pew, some people are so rude! if people eat beans, they should take Beano before coming out in public."

Emily, I am terrified (they told me to be)

Yes, I am the loser of cookbooks. (Do I get a crown?)

Smurf theme: La la la la la la la la la la la....dum dum dum dum dum dum dum (Gargamel and of course, his cat, Asrielle). Papa smurf and girl smurf had like, 1 thousand smurflings.

Smurf=procreates like a rat.

So, am I in?

[Mtndog]

Oh my God- 2 pages until we crown someone (better than bopping them over the head with a sheaf of wheat, methinks!).

Julie- Just ordered a yeti statue for my garden- maybe he could be like that gnome that someone kidnapped and photographed traveling the world! We should all pitch in and buy it for Judy! Shje's the garden queen!!

And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at (pillow)Fight Club, you have to (pillow) fight.

Janet- :lol:

I may have to cheat and get on that EM thread- want to look fabulous!

Yes, very educational, informative, beneficial for the greater good of gluten-free-ness no doubt.

That's how they ALWAYS start!!!!!!!

OMG- the parting by farting story- Judge Turd is more like it!!!!!!!!!!

Niiki's posting of the Thriller on the tube video inspired me to do the dance for Angus. Let's just say he did NOT like it :lol:

OMGawd....that IS brilliant!!! She should SO do it

It'd serve him right--the overblown gasbag

OMG- look what tis thread has done to patti- overblown gas bag- 300 calories (100 because it's funny and 200 because it's twice as funny coming from our "angel"

Jess- Nice one! I also think that Morrissey's "Girlfriend in a Coma" would make a great wedding song

[Ridgewalker]

So, am I in?

You assaulted a produce boy with a phart, and told a story about it-- you are soooo in!

[psawyer]

And BTW Peter, I forgot to say Thanks for the welcome back! And how did you know I live in Surry County!? You just blew my mind.

The Oracle knows all. Actually, I just have a memory for obscure trivia, and in a post about five months ago you gave the name of the town you live in: Open Original Shared Link I remembered it because it stuck in my mind due to a certain TV show in my youth starring Andy Griffith.

I noticed that, too--now that you mention it....

Ok Peter, in which county do I live? Betcha can't answer that one

Ya, you got me on that one, Patti.

[Darn210]

Hey Peter, what coloUr shirt am I wearing today?

[Darn210]

Open Original Shared Linkmy vote for Alex & Ryan's song.

Julie2 left out just a few words.

[Jestgar]

If you receive an email entitled 'Bedtimes' Delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any celiac disease's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.

It will drink ALL your beer.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING? ? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the 'Bedtimes' message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

***WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. *** And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to everyone!!!

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!

Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!!

[elye]

WHAT!!???!! What Threads??? Are you cheating on us??? Are you seeing other threads behind our backs??

Mygawd....Susie, the Thread Trollope....I feel so betrayed....

I think to get the kids...not sure I am on my way home now. Keep ya posted

Bye sillies

Well?! Update, Amanda!!

Is it just me, or is the word "fart" 10 times funnier when it's spelled "phart?!" Phart is airier than fart. That's what it is.

It becomes a hysterical word, from a mere amusing one....

Much like the phartlek, a form of interval training for elite runners. How can such a gut-wrenchingly serious activity have such a funny little name?!

I noticed that, too--now that you mention it....

Ok Peter, in which county do I live? Betcha can't answer that one

I've got something to tell you guys...

Peter and I, many years ago, lived six streets away from each other. Wait...1960, you said, Peter? Ha! Way, way before my time....

You assaulted a produce boy with a phart, and told a story about it-- you are soooo in!

Yep, Julie's got her entrance pass. The first document you'll need is a certified copy of the Phart Chart.

[DingoGirl]

I just learned about the recap thing they are going to do tonight, I am so happy because I soooo need a refresher (I have forgotten so much of what happened last season )

OMG Lost is the most confusing, addling show of all time........oh yes, I"ll watch the recap - and STILL ahve no idea what in hell is going on.............

Oh No . . . Now you've done it . . . that will surely keep Susie away (some sort of spreadsheet aversion, intolerance, or auto-immune disease or something like that)!!!

yes, 'tis an auto-immune spreadsheet intolerance aversion.......called SpreadSh*t

<OMG - not feelign funny AT ALL- - a full-blown, bonafide cold - PLUSSSSSSSSSS getting my.........menses today.........sorry boys.........>

MISERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT!!???!! What Threads??? Are you cheating on us??? Are you seeing other threads behind our backs??

Excellent. I really like Gail. I sure hope she's not a figment of our imagination . . . we've got good'ns, you know.

I've ONLY been talking to SCOTT, that's all.....

And Gail.......... she is a total kook - she now calls you all my Fecal Friends......

How have you managed to keep one going for this long!!!! The sphincter of steel strikes again.

:lol: it played the National Anthem, too

[

Do you know how much I didn't get done today???

This could be my life's motto, my bumper sticker, my personal statement........

Ryan and I were having fun brainstorming wedding song ideas last night. For some reason we both thought of Into the Mystic by Van Morrison. We might change our minds but I'm happy we were able to have a least one answer to the many things we'll have to figure out.

That is arguably the BEST Van Morrison song of all time. I have a great cover of it by the Wallflowers. the PERFECT song for your wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!

Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!!

*snort*

not enough energy to be funny.............boo!

[tom]

. . . .. I remembered it because it stuck in my mind due to a certain TV show in my youth starring Andy Griffith.

I do love that show more than any friends would expect. (Not quite Spanish Inquisition-unexpected, but headin' that way)

Thus there's no way I'd've (shouldn't've double contractions've become legal & even ubiquitouUs by now?) forgotten that name either, P-man.

So . . ... Sarah .. . . .. I like maps. I keep them w/in reach of the recliner.

As I'm looking for Mayberry's neighboUr & environs, I bump into a town's name that's still cracking me up. I've looked closer so I know I missed a letter at first.

Partly due to the Yadkin to the west, I read the name as Pffftown

And for a second I'm thinking "If Rand McNally says there's a Pffftown, then there's a Pffftown!"

Edit P.S.

13th post from

>>>>>>>>>>>HERE<<<<<<<<<<<<<

heralds a gnu reign!!!!!

Any of you ambition-addled broadbanders could whip out a dozen posts before I get one pageload.

Will it be tonight? Jess? Have you gathered the accoutremonts? Will there be jockeying? (aka is Emily online?)

<****ments?>

[blueeyedmanda]

Terrifying Breaking News

tonight my neighbors and I had a little gathering in my living room, to talk about our situation with those kids. My disabled neighbor told us something scary...the other night the kids were standing on their front porch and her kitchen window sits off this stoop. It was 2am. So all the lights were off. She had heard voices so she crept into the kitchen and listened....what they talked about scared her. They were talking about firebombing cars, beating someone up, killing people, blaming their crimes on others, having aylabis (spelling?) She couldnt call anyone since she didnt have a phone. They only have a cell phone in her apartment and her daugther was working late and had it....

We are dealing with much worse than we first thought.

[dlp252]

Terrifying Breaking News

:o :o :o !!!!! That is truly scarey!!

[Darn210]

Holy Cow Amanda!! Has she told the police???

[tom]

Is there such a thing as 'Conspiracy to Commit a Felony'?

If not, there oughta be.

[elye]

Whoa, Amanda.....

Your neighboUr must tell the police. It's "hearsay", but so what?

Just the last thing you guys all need.....

[Ridgewalker]

The Oracle knows all. Actually, I just have a memory for obscure trivia, and in a post about five months ago you gave the name of the town you live in: Open Original Shared Link I remembered it because it stuck in my mind due to a certain TV show in my youth starring Andy Griffith.

Utterly amazing and impressive that you remembered that two-sentence post from September! Indeed, I live about 15 minutes from Mt. Airy, the real-life Mayberry. I've never been a big fan, but I do like the town. Fun little places to eat, tons of antique shops, etc. Next time I go, I'll take a few pics of the most popular Andy Griffith places, like Floyd's Barber Shop, and the old Sheriff's car and stuff, and put em up as my avatar.

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

OMG!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: <------ HUGE guffaws, loved this!

I do love that show more than any friends would expect. (Not quite Spanish Inquisition-unexpected, but headin' that way)

Thus there's no way I'd've (shouldn't've double contractions've become legal & even ubiquitouUs by now?) forgotten that name either, P-man.

So . . ... Sarah .. . . .. I like maps. I keep them w/in reach of the recliner.

As I'm looking for Mayberry's neighboUr & environs, I bump into a town's name that's still cracking me up. I've looked closer so I know I missed a letter at first.

Partly due to the Yadkin to the west, I read the name as Pffftown

And for a second I'm thinking "If Rand McNally says there's a Pffftown, then there's a Pffftown!"

Ah, that would be Pfafftown (pronounced Pahf-town), which was made famous (not really) by the critically acclaimed independent movie, Junebug. As matter of fact, there is a short shot near the end of that movie when the 2 main characters are driving down the highway, and you can actually see my mountain, Pilot Mountain itself, out the windshield! Most of that movie was filmed all around us. And THAT is my only claim to fame. (Unless Nascar connections count. Everybody in NC has those. )

Terrifying Breaking News

Holy crap, Amanda! The cops definitely need to know about that!

[Green12]

Ryan and I were having fun brainstorming wedding song ideas last night. For some reason we both thought of Into the Mystic by Van Morrison. We might change our minds but I'm happy we were able to have a least one answer to the many things we'll have to figure out.

Awww, how fun! That's a really good song

So I guess this one is out of the question then??

My vote for alex's wedding song:

Open Original Shared Link

So, am I in?

Hi Julie

Julie- Just ordered a yeti statue for my garden- maybe he could be like that gnome that someone kidnapped and photographed traveling the world! We should all pitch in and buy it for Judy! She's the garden queen!!

I'm so jealous! Excellent idea, just what Judy needs for her garden!!

FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING? ? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

I burned 300 calories easily on this one. Really worked those ab muscles out, they hurt

OMG - not feelign funny AT ALL- - a full-blown, bonafide cold - PLUSSSSSSSSSS getting my.........menses today.........sorry boys.........>

MISERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not enough energy to be funny.............boo!

Big boo!! We need your funny back Susie!

Feel better soon

Terrifying Breaking News

That is scary.

Whoa, Amanda.....

Your neighboUr must tell the police. It's "hearsay", but so what?

Just the last thing you guys all need.....

Yes, I say better to be safe than sorry.

[psawyer]

So . . ... Sarah .. . . .. I like maps. I keep them w/in reach of the recliner.

As I'm looking for Mayberry's neighboUr & environs, I bump into a town's name that's still cracking me up. I've looked closer so I know I missed a letter at first.

Partly due to the Yadkin to the west, I read the name as Pffftown

And for a second I'm thinking "If Rand McNally says there's a Pffftown, then there's a Pffftown!"

OMG, yes, I looked at my map and there it is! Phartsville, NC. Well, almost.

Terrifying Breaking News

tonight my neighbors and I had a little gathering in my living room, to talk about our situation with those kids. My disabled neighbor told us something scary...the other night the kids were standing on their front porch and her kitchen window sits off this stoop. It was 2am. So all the lights were off. She had heard voices so she crept into the kitchen and listened....what they talked about scared her. They were talking about firebombing cars, beating someone up, killing people, blaming their crimes on others, having aylabis (spelling?) She couldnt call anyone since she didnt have a phone. They only have a cell phone in her apartment and her daugther was working late and had it....

We are dealing with much worse than we first thought.

This is scary. We need to send the yeti over there to break some kneecaps deliver a polite message.

My thoughts are with you and John tonight, and I hope that this gets resolved without anyone getting hurt. Property damage is bad enough.