Tell Me How To Not Think I Am Being A Pain..

[SarahTorg]

Our family enjoys going out for mexican, but every time I eat there I end up itching so bad over the next couple of days, along with other symptoms. I haven't gotten the balls yet to be assertive.

The last time we went out, I said I just wasn't going to eat.

So, how do you know that the place doesn't just think you are being a pain in the arse, and spit in your food or something?

Would I just ask that the tortilla warmer be wiped off before heating my tortillas? No sauces?

I'm still pretty new to all this cross contamination stuff.

Help me learn to be assertive when I ask, but polite, and not sounding like a pain.

Sarah

[Canadian Karen]

Hi Sarah!

It does take some getting used to.... To be honest, we really don't go out at all anymore - but that has more to do with the fact that we have four children and it costs us a fortune to go out! LOL!

If there is an occasion where hubby and I need to celebrate something (couldn't imagine what though, since he totally forgot our wedding anniversary this year! ) but if we do go out, it is alway to Outback Steakhouse, I feel safe there.....

I think the key to social events is getting your family to realize the seriousness of celiac disease. Make sure they are well informed about the complications that arise from continued cross-contamination and exposure.

Karen

[tarnalberry]

Practice? Maybe even trail runs with friends? Assertive but nice is just a style that takes some practice. Being patient and organized helps, hence the practice. Dining cards (Triumph makes good ones) can help, as can calling ahead of time, or talking to the manager away from the table in a less pressured area.

[brendygirl]

HI

I know exactly where you're coming from.I was raised not to be picky, so this was EXTREMELY difficult for me. I had a friend and a boyfriend who LOVE getting and requesting "special" attention, so they would choose and order for me for the first few months. That worked well, but I still had to send things back.

I think lots of times waitstaff assume I'm on a low carb diet because they'll say, do you want to substitute the rice/fries? and I say no. haha

I tip well and I smile and say I hate to be a pain but I am allergic to gluten (using the word allergic is the best a kitchen staffer told me once) (GLuten is also much more familiar to waitstaff/kitchenstaff than the term celiac) and that it is in breads and sauces.

SALADS are hard to order. They often come with odd things not listed on the menu, like bleu cheese or coated nuts or whatever. ALSO it's amusing how when I ALWAYS mention that croutons cannot touch my food, they'll still stick the bun or roll on my plate. HELLO!

Outback Steakhouse has a gluten-free menu you can print out online. They're great.

My big turning point of ordering without qualms came after an EXPENSIVE dinner at a frou frou place in a casino and when I said I couldn't have gluten, the totally cute HEAD CHEF came out and my highbrow boyfriend and our friends were so tickled and happy for the attention when everyone in the restaurant noticed. I was embarrassed, but they LOVED it, so now I just think of it as deserving special treatment.

[debmidge]

He has not eaten out since diagnosed in 03

[kabowman]

It takes practice but I am very nice, explain that I am the difficult one and then tell the wait staff exactly what food I want and how to prepare my food, I tip well and people remember me--I also use the word allergy since more people understand that better. I no longer mind when I meet the chef and/or manager and/or owner each time we eat out. I am usually surprised when I do NOT see at least one of the three during a meal.

I try not to complain, just explain my problem and be very laid back. Eating out is now a real treat and we treat it as such.

Also, if I consistantly get sick each time I go to a specific place, even with my instructions and precautions once I know they are willing to try to cook for me (see my many food restrictions), I quit going to those places. I have a couple that have been willing but I still keep getting sick. We don't go there. Traveling is more difficult but I have found that most steak or burger places - higher end - have no problems with my accomodations.

[RiceGuy]

Well, just as a few others, I also never eat out. That to me is simply too much risk. Especially around here where so many are diabetic, smoking, obese drunkards. No health stores for miles either. Tons of burger/pizza places though

[Canadian Karen]

Well, just as a few others, I also never eat out. That to me is simply too much risk. Especially around here where so many are diabetic, smoking, obese drunkards. No health stores for miles either. Tons of burger/pizza places though

LOL! Where the heck do you live, anyway?

[Jestgar]

I usually go to the same places. After a while they get to know you and it's not an issue.

[Rusla]

Sometimes you have no choice but to eat out. However, at a restuarant I tell them exactly what I need and ask if they can do it, I tell them I have an extreme allergy.Telling people it is an allergy is pretty well the only way they get it the seriousness of it. Now, when I am at a friends place I feel like I am putting them out. If we are doing pot luck I make sure I bring my gluten-free meal because then at least I have something to eat. I put a separate spoon in it.

I guess that is one thing about eating raw is there is no way to get glutened by ingredients.

[Nantzie]

I still have a problem with this. I was also raised not to complain or ask for anything special and just be gracious and accepting of whatever was offered.

Intellectually I know that most people are willing and more than happy to help others if asked nicely, but the thought of putting someone out of their way just mortifies me.

There are a few small restaurants in town that we used to go to all the time, and they recognized us when we came in. I know for sure they would do whatever they could to help, but I just can't bring myself to ask.

It's so silly, but that's where I am right now. I'm going to have to make myself do it at some point, if nothing else but for breaking through that personal wall of not wanting to make a fuss.

I think a huge part of it is just the disbelief, anger and sarcasm that I got at first from my own family. Bringing it up at all was a guaranteed fight for a long time. So it made me gun-shy about the subject in general on top of not wanting to make a fuss.

So I know where you're coming from. No advice. Just company...

Nancy

[plantime]

Jestgar, I lloovvee your avatar!!

[Jim in Kentucky]

I eat out quite a bit. Most wait staff are fairly well versed in diets - and not just gluten free diets. Ask if the restaurant has a gluten-free menu. Some restaurant's web sites show allergens - such as gluten, dairy, etc. Use the internet to help you find what you can do. It is full of good information. Don't give up on eating out - it's one of the joys of life.

[tarnalberry]

Don't forget, restaurants are providing you a service. You're allowed to be a little bit demanding.

[Jestgar]

Jestgar, I lloovvee your avatar!!

Blatantly stolen I'm afraid..

[jerseyangel]

Blatantly stolen I'm afraid..

What happened to the penguin? I got a kick out of that one

[Nancym]

If you ate out once with my friend, who has no eating issues she's just ultra-fussy and likes to know EVERYTHING about her meal, you'd never again feel like you're too demanding. Actually, I have two friends like that.

One thing that helps me a lot is using the dining cards.

[Jestgar]

I'll switch back soon. I was waiting to get yelled at for posing as Karen and Armetta's love child.

[pixiegirl]

I eat out often (by choice and due to frequent business travel) and I'm not often glutened any more, I've really got it down to a science, however I'm assertive and I get a lot of people involved (maitre de, waiter, chef). When I'm with my boyfriend he always asks to speak with the chef and I don't think we've ever been told that we can't.

However all that being said, I've given up eating at mexican type restaurants... I don't know why (flour all over the place maybe) but I've got into trouble more there then any place else.

I've always said that I have very little trouble at fine restaurants, but last week I was at Martha's Vineyard and we went to a breakfast place in Vineyard Haven. I was nervous about it but when I spoke to my waitress she said, just tell me what you need and I'll see that its done that way, we handle food allergies and issues all the time.

I told her I really wanted poached eggs over their corned beef hash and asked about the hash. The cook came out to the table and said they make the hash from scratch every day and ran everything in it by me, he even asked if gluten was my issue (I had said wheat allergy). I had it and had no problems at all.

It seems to me, lately, when I go into places more and more of them are familar with gluten issues.

Susan

[Rusla]

Blatantly stolen I'm afraid..

Not only do I like your avatar, looked like you were having a bad hair and beak day. I love your sig about the ex-allergist.

And once againg on the being a pain issue. The thing to remember is at a restaurant you are paying good money to get what you need, they should be willing to give it to you.

[RiceGuy]

LOL! Where the heck do you live, anyway?

Heh. Given my comments I dare not be specific LOL! Somebody out there someplace is bound to take offense.

Anyway, I guess if the restaurant is a really "fancy" sort of place, they might be able to accommodate. I'm not even sure if this area has such a place. But it doesn't matter, since I could never afford to pay for it. Even the tip for a meal that expensive is over my budget. Heck, if I could shell out money like that to feed my face I wouldn't be living where I do!

[Guest Pixi]

I think the best bet when you're eating out is to go for seafood dishes.. they typically don't touch the grill.

Pan seared tuna and baked salmon are nearly always safe -- with plain veggies and rice. No sauce, just lots of lemon.

The only thing is, you should just ask the waitor to make sure the fish isn't sprinkled with flour.. chefs typically do that in order to keep the piece of fish from sticking to the pan.

Another thing I do is go to sushi restaurants and bring my own gluten-free soy sauce.. the rice is steamed and the fish is raw.. a pretty safe bet!

You don't have to say anything about your Celiac.. most people don't really believe it anyway. I always get, "Oh, you're on Atkins?".. and they think you're just being a diet freak so they don't take you seriously. Awful, lol.. but it's true!