How About A New Reality Show?

[lonewolf]

I keep seeing commercials for new shows that look boring. I think we need a Celiac reality show. How about this:

Contestants are nominated by Celiacs and those with gluten intolerance. The ones chosen are those who have given their Celiac friends the hardest time.

Contestants get one session with a dietician not well-versed in gluten-free eating. They are then given up to two hours a day of internet research for a week before the actual competition

The night before the first full day, each contestant must consume a double dose of Ex-Lax, just to get in the "mood".

Contestants will be monitored by camera constantly - at home, at friends' homes, out to eat, etc. Any time even a speck of gluten is consumed, the contestant will be required to take a double dose of Ex Lax. For blatant cheating, a triple dose of Ex Lax and a bottle of Syrup of Ipecac must be downed immediately.

Contestants will be required to explain Celiac to all friends, relatives and co-workers - probably 10-20 times during the course of the show. They will be required to eat out and make "safe" choices, but if at any time they don't ask for the chef before ordering, the Ex-Lax rule will take effect. Any product they buy at the store without thoroughly reading labels and/or calling the 1-800 number on the package will also give them the Ex-Lax treatment.

Anyone have anything to add?

[tarnalberry]

Ha! that would be amusing to celiacs. too bad everyone else would find it horridly boring. :?

[Viola 1]

I keep seeing commercials for new shows that look boring. I think we need a Celiac reality show. How about this:

Contestants are nominated by Celiacs and those with gluten intolerance. The ones chosen are those who have given their Celiac friends the hardest time.

Contestants get one session with a dietician not well-versed in gluten-free eating. They are then given up to two hours a day of internet research for a week before the actual competition

The night before the first full day, each contestant must consume a double dose of Ex-Lax, just to get in the "mood".

Contestants will be monitored by camera constantly - at home, at friends' homes, out to eat, etc. Any time even a speck of gluten is consumed, the contestant will be required to take a double dose of Ex Lax. For blatant cheating, a triple dose of Ex Lax and a bottle of Syrup of Ipecac must be downed immediately.

Contestants will be required to explain Celiac to all friends, relatives and co-workers - probably 10-20 times during the course of the show. They will be required to eat out and make "safe" choices, but if at any time they don't ask for the chef before ordering, the Ex-Lax rule will take effect. Any product they buy at the store without thoroughly reading labels and/or calling the 1-800 number on the package will also give them the Ex-Lax treatment.

Anyone have anything to add?

You could put sound effects in the bathrooms ... or maybe just microphones ... the ex lax would provide the sound effects

And of course all the things that go on in the bedroom with the spouse ... or not go on... if you are spending the night in the bathroom. Lord, that sounds all to familiar before gluten free.

[Generic]

ROTFLMAO!

[Nantzie]

I think that during the time period where the person is being instructed by the dietician and doing research there should be some additional things going on:

- Various levels of exlax and/or ipecac put into their food/drinks. Some days are inexplicably fine, and other days they can barely leave the bathroom.

- On the "good" days, they must wear some sort of fart machine that also emits a foul odor.

- The people around them must roll their eyes, give each other exasperated looks, and ask sarcastic questions.

- The night before the celiac diet starts, the contestant's friends and family must stage an angry intervention. After a good dose of exlax causing him to run to the bathroom all during the intervention, the contestant must be accused of wanting to be sick. The word hypochondriac must be used at least seven times. Therapy must be brought up at least once. Bonus points for the family if a therapist is "facilitating" the intervention.

Sounds like fun to me. I know a couple people I'd nominate.

Nancy

[debmidge]

Sounds great. don't forget that the contestant has to be accused of being a picky eater, and it's all in his/her head and the popular "you need a psychiaratrist.

But I can see this as a reality show where a non celiac lives with celiac roommates and has to adopt their eating rules. How long will the non celiac last? Tune in tomorrow.

[StrongerToday]

Personally, I can't wait to go on Jeorpary... "I'll have Food Intolerences for $800, Alex"

[UR Groovy]

I

[Jestgar]

Can we whack them on the head for those of us that get headaches? How about caffeine pills at night so they can't sleep?

[jerseyangel]

I

[azmom]

Make all of the contestants live in a house w/ 1 bathroom!

[jkmunchkin]

IThe night before the first full day, each contestant must consume a double dose of Ex-Lax, just to get in the "mood".

Contestants will be monitored by camera constantly - at home, at friends' homes, out to eat, etc. Any time even a speck of gluten is consumed, the contestant will be required to take a double dose of Ex Lax. For blatant cheating, a triple dose of Ex Lax and a bottle of Syrup of Ipecac must be downed immediately.

Contestants will be required to explain Celiac to all friends, relatives and co-workers - probably 10-20 times during the course of the show. They will be required to eat out and make "safe" choices, but if at any time they don't ask for the chef before ordering, the Ex-Lax rule will take effect. Any product they buy at the store without thoroughly reading labels and/or calling the 1-800 number on the package will also give them the Ex-Lax treatment.

I think I may pee my pants!!!! Hysterical!

[MySuicidalTurtle]

How interesting.

[Viola 1]

I think that during the time period where the person is being instructed by the dietician and doing research there should be some additional things going on:

- Various levels of exlax and/or ipecac put into their food/drinks. Some days are inexplicably fine, and other days they can barely leave the bathroom.

- On the "good" days, they must wear some sort of fart machine that also emits a foul odor.

- The people around them must roll their eyes, give each other exasperated looks, and ask sarcastic questions.

- The night before the celiac diet starts, the contestant's friends and family must stage an angry intervention. After a good dose of exlax causing him to run to the bathroom all during the intervention, the contestant must be accused of wanting to be sick. The word hypochondriac must be used at least seven times. Therapy must be brought up at least once. Bonus points for the family if a therapist is "facilitating" the intervention.

Sounds like fun to me. I know a couple people I'd nominate.

Nancy

This is good Nancy!

[marciab]

Better yet. Let's make all the contestants doctors !!!

I would like for them to be zapped on a regular basis too so they know what seizures feel like ... and put weights on their feet so their legs are heavy ... and feed them caffeine or something so that they have brain fog ...

THis is good .. revenge of the celiacs ... marcia

[chrissy]

some of them have to be randomly rubbed with fiberglass insulation so they get the DH effect.

[elye]

This is fantastic...but there must be a celiac voted off each week. The gassiest, perhaps. And how can each contestant acquire immunity? I would say the bloke who makes it through a day completely gluten-free--no cross contamination. Perhaps there would have to be a lab tech there, busily testing every contestant's stool samples at day's end for traces of the offending toxin.

[Jestgar]

Yeah, but they can't be voted off to go to a hotel, they have to be voted into the "new intolerance" house where they are assigned a new food intolerance, but not told what it is.

[blueeyedmanda]

Hehe, and they should have to learn how to relive their lives and NO CHEATING!!!! :)

[elye]

Then there could suddenly be a couple of tribes. The initial Gluten Intolerants, and then the vote-offs form a mystery-intolerant group who gradually, through gastrointestinal trial and error which we get to see every moment of, form the No-Caseins, the Deadly Nightshades, the Stay-Away-From-Soys...

All the while forming alliances. I can see it all now. "Hey, Amber...We're in this together. I'm useless for the next challenge if I eat this muffin. You gotta trade me that fried eggplant. "...

[Viola 1]

some of them have to be randomly rubbed with fiberglass insulation so they get the DH effect.

This thread should be in the Coping with section, there is no better way to Cope than all this laughter

[jerseyangel]

Yeah, but they can't be voted off to go to a hotel, they have to be voted into the "new intolerance" house where they are assigned a new food intolerance, but not told what it is.

Yes! And they're not allowed to leave until they have figured out what that intolerance is

[Drama-Queen]

If they are college age kids, they should have to go to school and resist the temptation of all the foods around them. And not only that but get up during a final and puke and come back and finish the fiinal. They should have to feel the torture of their friends talking about pizza for half an hour with no respect to them.

"I would like to buy a bowel"

Nice. That is going to make my day! Too bad I can't laugh too loud in the U of MN computer Lab.

[Drama-Queen]

Oooh and then they should take tons of relaxants or something so they have no energy during the day.

[lonewolf]

Oh, and how about some challenges?

Going for 9 hours without food because nothing was "safe" and then taking some kind of memory or coordination test.

Or - Having 10 minutes to find 7 different public restrooms in the downtown area.

Or - making a loaf of bread without gluten, dairy, eggs or soy and convincing at least one child to eat a whole slice.