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irish daveyboy

Funny Rendition Of A Colonoscopy

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I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon,

a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn


Chronically Ill and lost 56lbs in 3 Months Prior to Diagnosis.

Diagnosed in Nov 2005 after Biopsy and Blood Tests

Cannot tolerate Codex Wheat Starch.

Self Taught Baker.

Bake everything from scratch using naturally gluten-free ingredients.

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:lol::lol::lol: This was soooooooo funny ! ! ! !

Thanks for posting ! :P


CeeCee

Allergic to: wheat, peanuts and Penicillin

1995 severe anaphylactic reaction to Wheat

Gluten free since Sept. 2006

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently"--- Henry Ford

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:lol: Those gowns, paper or cloth, DO make you feel more naked than if you were really naked! I feel so vulnerable. I've been more comfortable in a public bath house in a foreign country where I was the only caucasian than in one of those! I should have known that it would be Dave Barry writing that. He's funny.

Me: GLUTEN-FREE 7/06, multiple food allergies, T2 DIABETES DX 8/08, LADA-Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults, Who knew food allergies could trigger an autoimmune attack on the pancreas?! 1/11 Re-DX T1 DM, pos. DQ2 Celiac gene test 9/11

Son: ADHD '06,

neg. CELIAC PANEL 5/07

ALLERGY: "positive" blood and skin tests to wheat, which triggers his eczema '08

ENTEROLAB testing: elevated Fecal Anti-tissue Transglutaminase IgA Dec. '08

Gluten-free-Feb. '09

other food allergies

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Oh how timely. I have a colonoscopy scheduled for the 28th of this month (never had one before).

I was already freaked out about it........and now............

I did actually laugh out loud while reading this though. Glad there's a humorous side to it. :unsure:


Dx Celiac 08/22/08

Iron Deficient Anemia / Blood Clotting Disorder / Severe Vit D Deficiency / Low Cortisol / Progesterone/Testosterone Deficient

Persisting Sx: bouts of extreme fatigue, dry itchy skin, dry gritty eyes, bouts of brain fog and terrible short term memory, hair loss, hypoglycemic tendencies, low body temps, low BP, cold hands and feet

UPDATE: Began BHRT 9/22/10 and it made a world of difference, for about 2 weeks. Hair loss stopped almost completely, energy levels way up and felt 19 again! Going back for a booster this week....

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That was a riot. You might as well laugh at these types of things......it beats crying. :P


GLUTEN FREE 4/4/08. LEGUME/SOY FREE 5/15/08. YEAST FREE. CORN FREE. GRAIN FREE. DAIRY FREE. I am eating all meats, eggs, veggies, fruits, squash, nuts and seeds. I just keep getting better every day. :)

Do not let any of the advice given here substitute for good medical care. Let this forum be a catalyst for research. Find support for any post in here before you believe it to be true. Arm yourself with knowledge. Let your doctor be your assistant. Listen to their advice, but follow your own instincts as well. Miracles are within your reach. You can heal!

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"your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food

that you have not even eaten yet."

Oh yeah! :lol::lol: That was hilarious! Yep--we may as well laugh.....


Patti

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

"When people show you who they are, believe them"--Maya Angelou

"Bloom where you are planted"--Bev

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lol oh man I couldn't stop laughing out loud while reading that because it's all true. I wish I had known what to really expect from that nasty jug before I went through it all. I had my endo and colonoscopy on the same day, and I am so thankful I don't remember a single thing from the actual procedure. The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever :(

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The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever :(

Mine was orange flavored and it was a while before I could look an orange in the eye again :D


Patti

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

"When people show you who they are, believe them"--Maya Angelou

"Bloom where you are planted"--Bev

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lol oh man I couldn't stop laughing out loud while reading that because it's all true. I wish I had known what to really expect from that nasty jug before I went through it all. I had my endo and colonoscopy on the same day, and I am so thankful I don't remember a single thing from the actual procedure. The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever :(

I got pills. I'm in Ct though, maybe they have different stuff up here. And my lovely, silly mother decided that she had been constipated for too long and took a laxative the same day I was doing my prep for the colonoscopy. Nice job, Ma. We were both dancing around the bathroom holding our butts half the day.

And I REMEMBER my procedure. I guess the amnesiac effect the drugs are supposed to have didn't work on me. The nurses were laughing at me cuz I was so stoned though. Man, they inject that stuff in the Iv and three seconds later WHooooo!!!!! I didn't care what they were doing to me really, I was having a blast. Except for when you have to swallow that tube, no fun. I do remember watching them take biospies of my insides on that screen. That was interesting.


If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

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Omg, LOL - that was great :D

I had a colonoscopy on Tuesday, so that definitely gave me a good laugh. Unfortunately I had to do a few enema's(and didn't get to drink anything, which I would have rathered!) and they didn't give me enough of the verced (the twilight anesthesia) because I rememberparts of the procedure (soooo UNcool) but they did hook me up with a good cocktail, so I was feeling pretty good :rolleyes:

p.s. JNBunnie1, I hear you about watching it on the screen, that part was kind of cool :P


*Jessica*

IgG + IgA + TtG -

Family History of Celiac

See 'about me' for more info

gluten-free Since: 11/02/08

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Sorry about posting to an old post from a link in a new post. But that was really funny. I miss Dave Barry. He was genius. Thanks Irish Dave.

best regards, lm


gluten-free 12-18-06

colonoscopy, upper GI
blood, urine, stool tests, prometheus panel
positive endoscopy/positive duodenal biopsies (severe villous atrophy, high intraepithelial lympocytes)
diagnosed celiac disease by Gastroenterologist Andrew R. Gottesman, 12-18-06

"Sobriety sucks. That's why they invented booze in the first place." Denis Leary - Rescue Me

Beware the chocolate of Chiapa

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I always enjoyed Dave Barry, too :)

Amid the laughter, I will always be grateful because a colonoscopy literally saved my dad's life 35 years ago :D


Patti

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

"When people show you who they are, believe them"--Maya Angelou

"Bloom where you are planted"--Bev

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Just to clarify for anyone who might misunderstand the past tense of some of the posts: Dave Barry is still alive and writing books. He just quit writing a weekly column.

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I've always loved Barrys sense of humor too! Thanks for posting this Dave :lol:

When I had my proceedure I was already in serious trouble with The Big D and nausea! I don't think I got over the Movie Prep for a looooonnnnggg time. I STILL can't abide the very thought of ginger-ale, which I used to mix with. I've never had anything so disgusting. BUTT (heh heh) this very thing saved my life, because it was decided to do an endo at the same time, and so I got a diagnosis!!!! Good things sometimes do come in small (prep) boxes :DB)


GOD IS GREAT, GOD IS GOOD, THANK YOU FOR OUR GLUTEN-FREE FOOD!

MUSIC IS THE BREATH OF LIFE

Theresa

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Gads, that was SO funny. "Think missile lifting off" :lol: :lol: :lol:

T'was an experience I'll never forget, but my prep was called something different (but was equally foul). And then I had to do it all again the very next week for a scan!! All that salt!! My ankles swelled and have never gone down since :( :(


Neroli

"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." - Albert Einstein

"Life is not weathering the storm; it is learning to dance in the rain"

"Whatever the question, the answer is always chocolate." Nigella Lawson

------------

Caffeine free 1973

Lactose free 1990

(Mis)diagnosed IBS, fibromyalgia '80's and '90's

Diagnosed psoriatic arthritis 2004

Self-diagnosed gluten intolerant, gluten-free Nov. 2007

Soy free March 2008

Nightshade free Feb 2009

Citric acid free June 2009

Potato starch free July 2009

(Totally) corn free Nov. 2009

Legume free March 2010

Now tolerant of lactose

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

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I just came home from the drugstore with my Movi-Prep so decided I better google it and make sure this it is gluten free. This is the what I was lead to. Did I ever laugh. I think it will give me the humor I need to get through the prep and procedure. I'm thankful I don't know the person doing it.

I can really relate to this quote of his: "your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet." I feel that way most days without a prep. I can't imagine how bad it is going to be when I actually drink that nasty stuff.

Thank heavens for humor!

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OMG I laughed right out loud,lol

Thank you for bumping this thread,,,,

** cation ** do not have a mouth full of rice crackers while reading this thread :D **


Gluten free Oct/09
Soy free Nov/10

 

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I can really relate to this quote of his: "your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet." I feel that way most days without a prep. I can't imagine how bad it is going to be when I actually drink that nasty stuff.

Just think, jackay...you'll be half-prepped before you start the prep!!! :lol: I was also!

Yes, I can relate after surviving a colonoscopy shortly before Christmas. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't read this hilarious rendition beforehand. Hahaha


Sylvia

Positive Celiac Blood Panel - Dec., 2009

Endoscopy with Positive Biopsy - April 9, 2010

Gluten Free - April 9, 2010

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