Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Mothers (gluten-eaters) Want To Come "help" When Baby Comes?

Expecting in Jan

Recommended Posts

Expecting in Jan Newbie
Expecting in Jan
Posted

HI! Im hoping to get some advice or reassurance about having someone else in my kitchen...

My mother and mother-in-law want to come when the baby is born (in 8 weeks) to "help" me around the house. All my anxieties about having a new baby in the house are overshadowed by my concerns about food contamination by the mothers. Both mothers are fully aware of my Celiac Disease and seem to understand- they make great efforts to accomodate me. But they routinely fail and if I wasnt a hawk about the things going on in my kitchen would be VERY sick right now! While I appreciate their efforts- I cant afford for them to make mistakes during this physically and emotionally trying time.

As recently as last weekend, my mother in law had me help her make an entire italian meal gluten free so she could learn. She lobbied for meatballs "for the guys" and I gave in but made it clear I couldnt have them. We made the whole meal together- taking extra time to explain what I could and couldnt have and how to keep the gluten utensils/dishes clear of the meal prep area. We were doing great and I was easing up about my fears. I turned around to see her putting the cooked meatballs right into the gluten-free sauce...... :o

Im just wondering how other expecting mothers deal with having someone else in their kitchen??? I dont want to hurt their feelings. Im already limiting the length of their stays and not letting them come until the baby is 4 days old- which was a huge battle.

Resisting going to a totally gluten free house because my husband does great and I dont want to punish him! I have only been diagnosed and gluten-free for 13 months so my mom is no more familiar with the gluten-free diet than my MIL.

Any thoughts or advice are greatly appreciated!!!

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

Why wouldn't you make gluten-free meatballs? It's pretty easy. We do it all the time.

Mango04 Enthusiast
Mango04
Posted

Maybe your best solution would be to make the entire house gluten-free just while the mothers are over. That couldn't possibly be so tough on your husband, considering most things can be made gluten-free, he could still eat gluten-free outside of the house, and it would give you great peace of mind. You being happier and more at ease in your own house couldn't possibly be a punishment for anyone :) I'm not an expecting mother but that's definitely what I would do. Hope you find something that works for you :)

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Another option would be to inform them that their "help" will be limited to cleaning and running errands. If you catch them in your kitchen touching anything that hasn't been approved by you, they go home.

You deserve not to be sick while you have a brand new baby. Be strict. No gluten.

WW340 Rookie
WW340
Posted

I agree with Mango - I would go with a totally gluten free house until they left. My husband went totally gluten free with me for a long time. Even now, all meals are gluten free, he has his own bread, crackers and cereal, and he eats gluten when we go out.

jststric Contributor
jststric
Posted

Boy, I really feel for you! How about fixing some made-ahead gluten-free meals to cut down on their time needed in the kitchen?? You could spin it that it gives THEM more time with the baby!! You could also have a fully-stocked pantry of your needed items. And I agree whole-heartedly with everyone's suggestion to make hubby live gluten-free too while they are there. He may discover he likes your stuff just as well and it would be easier for you on a routine basis. Best wishes and congrats on the new little one! :)

Ahorsesoul Enthusiast
Ahorsesoul
Posted

I agree about the gluten free kitchen. You will be a lot healthier and if your child turns out to be celiac.

Talk to your dh, he should be willing to go gluten free while home. It is not a punishment to eat healthy. There isn't anything that can't be made gluten free. He should talk to his mother about how important this is to his family.

Tell anyone that wants to help you, that they can not bring gluten into the house. If they do, they are not welcome to stay. Sound mean. No it is not, it's for your health and your mental well being. Family and friends who want to help should be willing to accommodate you. If they want to eat gluten they can go out to eat.

If your child turns out to deathly allergic to peanut butter, will you be willing to let people come over to eat peanut butter cups and pb&j sandwiches in your house. No, you'd have a screaming fit because he could die from the exposure. Part of your intestines can die from gluten exposure. You health is just as important. You need to be as healthy as possible to be the good mother your child will be needing.

I have a gluten free kitchen. My dh can eat gluten. I only cooked gluten free. The only gluten in our house was his bread and his Little Debbies he used to make his lunch. No, I did not touch his items, he made his own lunch, had his own cabinet to store his items and had his own part of the counter. 3 1/2 weeks ago he agreed to go gluten free. Now I make his lunch and he is finding he feels a lot better.

You can do this for your health and not feel guilty.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


nmlove Contributor
nmlove
Posted

Agree on the temporary gluten-free status. Plus, I'd do up frozen meals (at least the main part) so it's easy for them to put it on and do up the sides. You can have a menu of sorts. And if they're not willing to stick with it, then maybe they shoudl have to stay out of the kitchen.

It really depends on them and their eating habits. For instance, my parents are definitely make your own meals kind of people. My dad's diabetic. So we naturally stick to lower starch meals and so it's easier to go meat/vegetables for dinner.

Now, my in-laws are the total opposite and eat out all the time. In this instance, I'd see if MIL would make the main meal (following my menu) and the rest they can go out and eat there, leaving lunch/breakfast/snacks to myself.

The decision is ultimately yours. Have your husband back you up with his parents because it can be confrontational, even if it's not meant to be. But get used to that, if this is your first kid. No matter how good a relationship you have, sometimes things come across quite different when it comes to your children (in a good or bad way).

Ahorsesoul Enthusiast
Ahorsesoul
Posted

"Mothers (gluten-eaters) Want To Come "help" When Baby Comes?"

Gluten Eaters, doesn't that sound like a really scary movie?

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

Yup - unless you know you can trust them, the house is gluten free while they're there. Period. My mother-in-law is great about things like not double dipping in condiments, keeping her and my father-in-law's bread to the bread board and a plate, and only getting non-whole-food stuff from the store that is a brand/variety I've approved. That is the only reason I feel comfortable with them coming over and being in the kitchen. Other friends... well, if they don't bring food in... :)

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

Congrats on the impending little one. I agree that the home should be gluten-free. You need to stick up for yourself with them. You need to be able to rest and care for the baby, and that is what they are coming to help for to begin with. It is your home and you have a right to ask, no demand, that they do all they can to keep you safe. It will be easier for them to do so if they don't have to worry about making you sick. The one way to be sure of that is to ban gluten foods from the home.

Expecting in Jan Newbie
Expecting in Jan
Posted
  • Author
Why wouldn't you make gluten-free meatballs? It's pretty easy. We do it all the time.

Good question- the whole point was for her to understand how to keep things separate. If I didnt have anything with gluten in it- then I couldnt explain how they couldnt cross contaminate. But it didnt work!

Expecting in Jan Newbie
Expecting in Jan
Posted
  • Author

Thanks to everyone who responded. I talked at length with my husband about it and he is fine going gluten free while there are guests in the house. (He remembers how sick I was before my diagnosis)

To the comment about "Gluten Eaters" being a scary movie- I laugh everytime I say it. Im not sure what to call them!

The frozen meals idea is great! It removes them from the kitchen all together and I love the idea of spinning it so that they have more time to spend with baby. Will definitely be using that!

I hate to do that to them but I think a blanket "Gluten Free" policy is going to be the only way Ill be able to relax. Now that the decision is made- maybe Ill start having nightmares about childbirth and parenting rather than bread crumbs and soy sauce!! Thanks everyone! :D

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      133,354
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Gracieruizzz
    Newest Member
    Gracieruizzz
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.6k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):

  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • knitty kitty
      results from 13 day gluten challenge - does this mean I can't have celiac?

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      @catnapt, Wheat germ has very little gluten in it.  Gluten is  the carbohydrate storage protein, what the flour is made from, the fluffy part.  Just like with beans, there's the baby plant that will germinate  ("germ"-inate) if sprouted, and the bean part is the carbohydrate storage protein.   Wheat germ is the baby plant inside a kernel of wheat, and bran is the protective covering of the kernel.   Little to no gluten there.   Large amounts of lectins are in wheat germ and can cause digestive upsets, but not enough Gluten to provoke antibody production in the small intestines. Luckily you still have time to do a proper gluten challenge (10 grams of gluten per day for a minimum of two weeks) before your next appointment when you can be retested.  
    • knitty kitty
      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      Hello, @asaT, I'm curious to know whether you are taking other B vitamins like Thiamine B1 and Niacin B3.  Malabsorption in Celiac disease affects all the water soluble B vitamins and Vitamin C.  Thiamine and Niacin are required to produce energy for all the homocysteine lowering reactions provided by Folate, Cobalamine and Pyridoxine.   Weight gain with a voracious appetite is something I experienced while malnourished.  It's symptomatic of Thiamine B1 deficiency.   Conversely, some people with thiamine deficiency lose their appetite altogether, and suffer from anorexia.  At different periods on my lifelong journey, I suffered this, too.   When the body doesn't have sufficient thiamine to turn food, especially carbohydrates, into energy (for growth and repair), the body rations what little thiamine it has available, and turns the carbs into fat, and stores it mostly in the abdomen.  Consuming a high carbohydrate diet requires additional thiamine to process the carbs into energy.  Simple carbohydrates (sugar, white rice, etc.) don't contain thiamine, so the body easily depletes its stores of Thiamine processing the carbs into fat.  The digestive system communicates with the brain to keep eating in order to consume more thiamine and other nutrients it's not absorbing.   One can have a subclinical thiamine insufficiency for years.  A twenty percent increase in dietary thiamine causes an eighty percent increase in brain function, so the symptoms can wax and wane mysteriously.  Symptoms of Thiamine insufficiency include stunted growth, chronic fatigue, and Gastrointestinal Beriberi (diarrhea, abdominal pain), heart attack, Alzheimer's, stroke, and cancer.   Thiamine improves bone turnover.  Thiamine insufficiency can also affect the thyroid.  The thyroid is important in bone metabolism.  The thyroid also influences hormones, like estrogen and progesterone, and menopause.  Vitamin D, at optimal levels, can act as a hormone and can influence the thyroid, as well as being important to bone health, and regulating the immune system.  Vitamin A is important to bone health, too, and is necessary for intestinal health, as well.   I don't do dairy because I react to Casein, the protein in dairy that resembles gluten and causes a reaction the same as if I'd been exposed to gluten, including high tTg IgA.  I found adding mineral water containing calcium and other minerals helpful in increasing my calcium intake.   Malabsorption of Celiac affects all the vitamins and minerals.  I do hope you'll talk to your doctor and dietician about supplementing all eight B vitamins and the four fat soluble vitamins because they all work together interconnectedly.  
    • Florence Lillian
      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

      By Florence Lillian · Posted

      Hi Jane: You may want to try the D3 I now take. I have reactions to fillers and many additives. Sports Research, it is based in the USA and I have had no bad reactions with this brand. The D3 does have coconut oil but it is non GMO, it is Gluten free, Soy free, Soybean free and Safflower oil free.  I have a cupboard full of supplements that did not agree with me -  I just keep trying and have finally settled on Sports Research. I take NAKA Women's Multi full spectrum, and have not felt sick after taking 2 capsules per day -  it is a Canadian company. I buy both from Amazon. I wish you well in your searching, I know how discouraging it all is. Florence.  
    • catnapt
      results from 13 day gluten challenge - does this mean I can't have celiac?

      By catnapt · Posted

      highly unlikely  NOTHING and I mean NOTHING else has ever caused me these kinds of symptoms I have no problem with dates, they are a large part of my diet In fact, I eat a very high fiber, very high vegetable and bean diet and have for many years now. It's considered a whole foods plant based or plant forward diet (I do now eat some lean ground turkey but not much) I was off dairy for years but recently had to add back plain yogurt to meet calcium needs that I am not allowed to get from supplements (I have not had any problem with the yogurt)   I eat almost no processed foods. I don't eat out. almost everything I eat, I cook myself I am going to keep a food diary but to be honest, I already know that it's wheat products and also barley that are the problem, which is why I gradually stopped eating and buying them. When I was eating them, like back in early 2024, when I was in the middle of moving and ate out (always had bread or toast or rolls or a sub or pizza) I felt terrible but at that time was so busy and exhausted that I never stopped to think it was the food. Once I was in my new place, I continued to have bread from time to time and had such horrible joint pain that I was preparing for 2 total knee replacements as well as one hip! The surgery could not go forward as I was (and still am) actively losing calcium from my bones. That problem has yet to be properly diagnosed and treated   anyway over time I realized that I felt better when I stopped eating bread. Back at least 3 yrs ago I noticed that regular pasta made me sick so I switched to brown rice pasta and even though it costs a lot more, I really like it.   so gradually I just stopped buying and eating foods with gluten. I stopped getting raisin bran when I was constipated because it made me bloated and it didn't help the constipation any more (used to be a sure bet that it would in the past)   I made cookies and brownies using beans and rolled oats and dates and tahini and I LOVE them and have zero issues eating those I eat 1 or more cans of beans per day easily can eat a pound of broccoli - no problem! Brussels sprouts the same thing.   so yeh it's bread and related foods that are clearly the problem  there is zero doubt in my mind    
    • cristiana
      Insomnia help

      By cristiana · Posted

      Thank you for your post, @nanny marley It is interesting what you say about 'It's OK not to sleep'. Worrying about sleeping only makes it much harder to sleep.  One of my relatives is an insomniac and I am sure that is part of the problem.  Whereas I once had a neighbour who, if she couldn't sleep, would simply get up again, make a cup of tea, read, do a sudoku or some other small task, and then go back to bed when she felt sleepy again.  I can't think it did her any harm - she lived  well into her nineties. Last week I decided to try a Floradix Magnesium supplement which seems to be helping me to sleep better.  It is a liquid magnesium supplement, so easy to take.  It is gluten free (unlike the Floradix iron supplement).  Might be worth a try.        
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.