My Husband Being Totally Annoying!

[Monklady123]

This is a total rant thread about nothing really serious, so feel free to tell me where to go. But -- okay, I've been diagnosed now about a month or so. Dh has always been supportive -- or, if not "supportive" then not negative -- about anything I do, not just celiac. So in the beginning of this diet he would say things like "oh that quiche is mostly eggs and cheese, you could have a little bit." But that was just that he didn't understand what this whole diet means. That a "little bit" might as well be a lot. So now he gets that. So he's now been reading all about wheat in our diets. He's uncovered something that talks about eating wheat and liver function and role in weight gain and etc., etc., etc. lol..

So now he decides he's not going to eat wheat (he doesn't seem to be talking about gluten per se, but just wheat). Now after doing Weight Watchers a few years ago I would say that he could lose weight by eating less... but what do I know, I'm just the wife.

Okay, so I'm getting to my rant. Now he's suddenly eating my gluten-free stuff! First of all it's expensive. But of course if he truly needed to be gluten-free we'd do it. I'd start baking my own bread, etc., doing what I could to keep costs down where I could. But it kind of annoys me that he's doing this "just for giggles" as my kids say. When it's just me I can buy Udi's bread and know exactly how long it will last, and when I want a piece I can expect it to be there in the freezer. Now all of a sudden it was gone when I wanted a sandwich for lunch! -- Or when we have spaghetti I have been cooking regular noodles for the three of them, and then mostly not bothering for myself. I've been having Udi's garlic toast and a big salad, maybe a couple of meatballs and not missing the pasta at all (yes, I've tried Tinkyada and it's okay...) But, he doesn't want that. However the way my teenage son eats let me tell you that I'm not buying enough Tinkyada for the four of us when I don't have to! (plus my picky dd probably wouldn't like it)

Then, I guess the real annoyance is that he's being selective. I told him that if he really wanted to give up wheat he needed to stop drinking beer, not to have that cone with his ice cream, etc. But of course he hasn't done that.

Okay, done. Small annoyance -- If this is the worst thing in my life then I'm a lucky person.

So, does anyone know if there is "wheat free" bread that isn't gluten free? i.e., barley, rye, whatever? I know regular rye bread has wheat in it, doesn't it? I'm thinking that if I can find him a wheat free bread (or make it myself) then he'll leave my harder-to-find gluten free stuff alone.

[kareng]

If we can't be annoyed by our husbands, we're probably brain dead.

Maybe if you showed him that the gluten-free stuff has just as many or more calories and carbs, he would leave it alone. Maybe if you showed him the price $7 for a bag of gluten-free pretzels, $2 for regular. Hit him in the wallet!

[Roda]

Now I can see why you would be annoyed by this. My husband and kids eat all the meals I cook gluten free and they only get gluten free baked goods in the house. But they still do eat their bread and other gluten stuff. For now my kids are still eating gluten, but maybe not for long for the oldest. I tried last year, but could not get hubby to stick with it since his bloodwork was negative twice. He respects the diet for me because I am blood/biopsy diagnosed, but does not want to impose it on my oldest son without confirmation. Ugg! I wish my husband would agree on a gluten free house and eat gluten free while at home. I think he would benefit greatly from the diet too, but alas since he says he doesn't have "gi" problems he can't have a problem with it. We all know better than that. I won't go into my rant with the reasons I would like him to try it, but lets just say he has his fair share of issues, but I don't harp on it either. I am lucky that they will eat what I cook without objection. Usually his gluten stuff is for breakfast or if he wants sandwiches for lunch. I don't mind the shared household as long as everyone is doing their part to not contaminate me. I hope you guys can come to some kind of aggrement that works for you. Oh, as for the tinkyada pasta, we all dislike it. We have found that we like SamMills and Boinaturae pasta the best. My husband will eat this and find it palatable when he isn't in the mood to cook both. My boys eat it without complaints and I could replace it for them without objection. Funny thing is I have him cook the gluten free pasta. I can't seem to get it right, but then again I never was good at cooking regular pasta either.

[ravenwoodglass]

  On 7/18/2010 at 1:59 PM, kareng said:

If we can't be annoyed by our husbands, we're probably brain dead.

Maybe if you showed him that the gluten-free stuff has just as many or more calories and carbs, he would leave it alone. Maybe if you showed him the price $7 for a bag of gluten-free pretzels, $2 for regular. Hit him in the wallet!

I agree with this. Tell him if he wants to eat the gluten free stuff you will need an extra $50-$75 a week added to the grocery budget. The fact that the gluten free diet is not a weight loss diet is another thing to bring up. Take him shopping with you and grab a loaf of regular bread or a box of crackers and compare the cost and calories. If he wanted to do the gluten-free diet seriously that would be one thing, but apparently he won't do that. If he should decide to do it seriously, and he just might need to, I would then support it whole heartedly. You might want to introduce him to a gluten free beer like Redbridge but then again if he has an addiction to gluten the Redbridge just won't have the 'kick' he is used to.

[Ahorsesoul]

I see this from a different view. Here is a dh who wants to eat gluten free. Maybe because he wants to support his wife or maybe because he's found out he feels better when eating gluten free. Since you are gluten free your family would benefit from eating gluten free. Your health would benefit from a gluten free household. And you may see some positive changes in your kids behavior. You have what many people would love to have, a dh who's eating their gluten free food with them instead of being against them.

[ravenwoodglass]

  On 7/18/2010 at 3:29 PM, Ahorsesoul said:

I see this from a different view. Here is a dh who wants to eat gluten free. Maybe because he wants to support his wife or maybe because he's found out he feels better when eating gluten free. Since you are gluten free your family would benefit from eating gluten free. Your health would benefit from a gluten free household. And you may see some positive changes in your kids behavior. You have what many people would love to have, a dh who's eating their gluten free food with them instead of being against them.

That's a really good point.

[sb2178]

Yeah, I'd think that he's slowly coming around in a weird non-linear path to trying to support you. But, definitely have a discussion that you need to shift your diets more to the beans, sweet potato and rice path instead of the pricey replacements if you're both going to eat that way. Or, the grocery budget has to be higher. That matters, and is easily communicated, unlike the "I feel like you're adopting my burden but doing it halfway and badly which I CANNOT do and therefore I'm a bit irked." THAT, don't know how to communicate.

And, of course, if it's really a weight loss issue, then he needs to approach it thoughtfully, ideally not through replacement gluten-free foods! But that's your judgement.

You can find 100% rye bread, but it tends to be a bit pricey too.

[Takala]

Count your blessings and decontaminate your household.

My husband voluntarily went gluten free in the house on his own after getting me several times accidentally. Only takes on kiss.....

We pack a cooler or bag when we go anywhere and he was always ending up eating my stuff until I mentally reconfigured and it became "our stuff." We save enough on restaurant bills and by not buying a lot of processed food, it made up for it.

I'd get a bread machine and figure out what sort of gluten free mix or home made mixtures to use in it if I were in that situation. As is, here we both don't eat enough bread to keep up with the calories and weight gain, so if there's bread here I usually have made it. Tinkyada can be mail ordered in large quantities to save money, as can many other pricier items.

Altho I did buy him a loaf of the Udi's, and ask him to taste it and tell me if it were "breadlike" as I was curious. He said it was. But I'm not into white bread nor missing it, so he can have the rest of it.

wheat, rye, barley, spelt, sprouted wheat, are all on the no no list. some people cannot tolerate gluten free oats, either.

[K8ling]

I understand the annoyance. My husband took FOREVER to come around, but once he figured out that I feel better and we can actually go on dates more, he was all for it! Now our house is COMPLETELY gluten-free. If he wants to eat Gluten filled food, he does it at work or out of the house, comes home, and then brushes his teeth, washes his hands and face, and THEN kisses me. It works out really well for all of us. AND my toddler is eating healthier except for school where he gets wheat food BUT they wipe him down really well before I pick him up.

It's an adjustment, and in a weird way I think he IS trying to support you. He'll figure out how to not be as abrasive about it eventually.

[lucia]

Sounds like another issue - to go entirely gluten-free, or not - but there is such a thing as "wheatless" rye bread. Germans typically eat it, and it's available pretty widely in health-oriented U.S. stores. I used to eat it, and it's good.

Here are some pictures of what the loafs look like: Open Original Shared Link

Not that we can eat these. But somebody with a wheat allergy could.

[Skylark]

  On 7/18/2010 at 9:51 PM, lucia said:

Sounds like another issue - to go entirely gluten-free, or not - but there is such a thing as "wheatless" rye bread. Germans typically eat it, and it's available pretty widely in health-oriented U.S. stores. I used to eat it, and it's good.

Here are some pictures of what the loafs look like: Open Original Shared Link

Not that we can eat these. But somebody with a wheat allergy could.

My local chain grocery store carries one of these 100% rye breads. I was eating it too, when I knew I couldn't have wheat but didn't realize gluten was the problem.

[Monklady123]

Thanks for all the replies. (I work all day Sunday so didn't get back here till now.) I will look for that wheatless rye. Also search on the internet and see what comes up. -- Yes, I suppose he is sort-of being supportive. lol... it's just that when it's just me not eating gluten it's so much easier to plan... just cook either gluten-free or cook for them and just eat the non-gluten parts of the meal myself. Oh well... I'll get over it.

[Juliebove]

My daughter and I do not have celiac, but food allergies. I don't have to avoid gluten, but I am allergic to eggs, so I must eat the gluten-free pasta for that reason. I cook it for all of us. No problem. Husband is Italian and he doesn't notice the difference.

But with other things? All he sees is the cost. He sees that our food costs more. And in his mind, that must make it better. For instance... I ordered three pizzas from Garlic Jim's. A gluten-free one for daughter and I and two regular ones for him. One was just cheese and the other was meat. The cheese one was a freebie.

When the pizzas came, he hollered at me because I was trying to figure out which was the gluten-free one. Alas, they didn't mark the box. He then said something about how it didn't matter which one he ate. He knew that I ordered the good pizza for us and the crap pizzas for him.

And because he just doesn't get it, he is constantly grabbing up the gluten-free stuff, putting it in his mouth, then complaining that it doesn't taste good!

So I feel your pain!