Started Dating - Dreading "the Talk"

[jasonD2]

No not the sex talk the gluten talk...this girl has a great body and is in excellent shape, however, she doesnt have the best diet. we grabbed a quick "snack" the other night and she ordered eggs, bacon and french toast and scarfed it down in 10 min. I havent told her bout my issues yet. im am taking her out this weekend so obviously i will have to bring it up- how do i do this? i know for a fact this will all be foreign to her

[K8ling]

Aww just be honest. I am leggy, blonde, and in great shape and I ate the SAME WAY in college, if Sean (my husband) had said "I have this disease..." and explained it, I would have been ok with it and changed things because I REALLY liked him.

Look at it this way, it doesn't matter how hot she is if she's not willing to, oh, say... not kill you with food (lol). Sending good vibes your way!!

[jasonD2]

HAHA thanks! I like leggy blondes...too bad you are married...we coulda been somethin special

[Skylark]

You think there's a woman alive who hasn't tried some diet or another? You're on familiar territory for us females. Finding out a date has a dietary issues is nothing compared to finding out he has a wife (or girlfriend), children, is alcoholic, is a rabid born-again Christian, has a criminal record, or has herpes. Wow. I'm just remembering why I stopped dating.

I'm remembering the born-again Christian who went off on gays in the middle of a hippie coffeehouse near the gay part of town. That's one of the few times in my life I have tried to actually sink into the floorboards.

[kareng]

I think tell her about Celiac but leave the discussion on parasites until you're engaged, maybe marrried.

[lucia]

Maybe the universe sent you to her because she's in danger of dying from cardiac disease at a young age.

Seriously, think of it another way: your attention to your health is responsible and attractive. Celiac or not, I'd want a boyfriend like that. She'd be lucky to have you.

[Roda]

I think tell her about Celiac but leave the discussion on parasites until you're engaged, maybe marrried.

Funny!

[jasonD2]

Thats a nice thing to say- thank u

[kayo]

Aww, Jason, you worry too much! I've dated guys with diabetes, guys who were vegetarian and guys who were kosher and guys who had allergies. It's no biggie and we gals understand. Start off easy, like, I have to follow a specific diet for health reasons, so how was your day? You don't need to go into great detail. She'll probably ask questions and you can say, like diabetics can't have sugar I can't have gluten which is in breads, pasta, etc. Luckily there's lots of gluten free foods I can have.

I think tell her about Celiac but leave the discussion on parasites until you're engaged, maybe marrried.

Too funny!

[Ahorsesoul]

The only thing you need to say is "I can not eat anything with gluten". End of long story with details. No need to make it a shakespearean tragedy.

[Tina B]

You think there's a woman alive who hasn't tried some diet or another? You're on familiar territory for us females. Finding out a date has a dietary issues is nothing compared to finding out he has a wife (or girlfriend), children, is alcoholic, is a rabid born-again Christian, has a criminal record, or has herpes. Wow. I'm just remembering why I stopped dating.

I'm remembering the born-again Christian who went off on gays in the middle of a hippie coffeehouse near the gay part of town. That's one of the few times in my life I have tried to actually sink into the floorboards.

Honestly, it's not a big deal. what if you told her you were diabetic or deathly allergic to peanuts? What's the big deal. I'd rather hear this from a guy than HIV positive or Herpes or something a lot worse. You have a malabsorbtion syndrome and yay, it doesn't require any expensive meds or complicated treatments. It's all in the presentation.

[mbrookes]

If I were going out with a guy who told me he had Celiac disease and couldn't eat gluten I would hit the internet and amaze him with my understanding. Many of us females are hard wired to be care-takers, so I really don't see a problem. Unless, of course, she is totally self-absobrd in which case ...lose her quick.

[Tina B]

If I were going out with a guy who told me he had Celiac disease and couldn't eat gluten I would hit the internet and amaze him with my understanding. Many of us females are hard wired to be care-takers, so I really don't see a problem. Unless, of course, she is totally self-absobrd in which case ...lose her quick.

DITTO, DITTO, DITTO

[lucia]

I've dated guys with diabetes, guys who were vegetarian and guys who were kosher and guys who had allergies. It's no biggie and we gals understand.

This reminded me: my ex-boyfriend was diabetic from the age of 9. He was really hung up about it. He'd felt like a freak his whole life. Sticking himself everyday with insulin had become this incredibly private ritual for him. When we first started dating, he hid the needles in his bathroom from me. He definitely had "the talk" with me, and he expected bad things from it.

I didn't care. Within months, I was helping him stick himself with insulin. We used to call it "shooting up".

On the other hand, his out-of-bound anxieties about an early death and his non-compliances to a diabetic diet (which he called playing "russian roulette") were major issues for us.

Don't let being celiac be your issue, and it won't have to be an issue in relationships.

[sickchick]

I have only dated 1 person since my diagnosis- he lieterally claimed that he was the most patient man I would ever know, and then 3 weeks later, he said something really cold to me and I never heard from him again. (ass)

Needless to say I have been a little gunshy since the situation. BUT I have met someone in the last month and I am just going in with an open mind and heart.

Some people can deal with it and some people can't.

Good luck!

Let us know what happens! Just keep reminding yourself that you deserve love.

What I did was send him a link to some Celiac Disease info- and I told him it was just so he has an idea of what is going on with my body- and there wouldn't be any surprises! And I joked there wouldn't be a test on the info HAHAHA

peace!

sickchick

[DownWithGluten]

If I were going out with a guy who told me he had Celiac disease and couldn't eat gluten I would hit the internet and amaze him with my understanding. Many of us females are hard wired to be care-takers, so I really don't see a problem. Unless, of course, she is totally self-absobrd in which case ...lose her quick.

I, too, agree with this. If I was interested in a guy who suddenly lost interest when I said I had a dietary restriction...that might be a red flag of what kind of person he is. Self-absorbed, etc. Undoubtedly there might be some annoyances here in there long term...but someone who cares about you would be willing to accomodate. And if they're not...ya might want to reconsider lol.

[Ahorsesoul]

I think this issue is something that should be said before accepting a date with someone. To me if I was dating someone for a few times and then all of a sudden they told me about something this important probably stop seeing them. I do understand that some people see this as a privacy issue but I would wonder what else they were hiding.

[Jestgar]

I think this issue is something that should be said before accepting a date with someone.

I disagree with this.

The way I choose to eat is not something shameful to be hidden, nor something alarming to be blurted out immediately. I think it should come up the first time you talk about food, and be discussed naturally. If I suggested going out for ice cream and my date said "no, I have diabetes" I'd say fine, how about a moonlight walk instead? If, on the other hand, the person made me feel like they, themselves, were unhappy with some aspect of their lives, it's the unhappiness I would react to, not the aspect itself.

[sandsurfgirl]

I think this issue is something that should be said before accepting a date with someone. To me if I was dating someone for a few times and then all of a sudden they told me about something this important probably stop seeing them. I do understand that some people see this as a privacy issue but I would wonder what else they were hiding.

I don't agree with this at all. If I'm going to go on a date with someone I don't know I do not want to hear their medical history before we've even shared a glass of wine. It's TMI and totally inappropriate. Being the guy, Jason has control over where they go anyway so he can call ahead and plan to go somewhere that will accomodate.

It's not hiding something to be appropriate and keep your medical issues for a time when you know someone a bit longer.

Jason, just be casual about it. It's not that big of a deal. When you're about to order just ask for the gluten free menu or items or whatever and tell her "I have celiac. I can't eat gluten." That's it. No details until you know her longer.