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Friend Doesn't Get It

SusieQ

By SusieQ
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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SusieQ Rookie
SusieQ
Posted

My friend said that she's making kuskus (this rice stuff that has gluten in it) for dinner and she's going to make me eat it. And I was like no I'm not! I can't have it! And she knows I can't. And she said too bad I'm making u eat it and I said no I'm not eating it! She said that it won't mater if I have a little bit but it does. After having one bite of gluten I get the symptoms for two days!! And she said "then what are you going to eat?" and I said idk.. I'll eat a gluten free sandwhich or something. and she's like whatever I'm making it. What should I do? She doesn't get it!!! And there's no way I'm eating it! Ugghh! And she always rubs it in my face that I can't have gluten. And I say it's not that big of a deal and she says "yes it's a huge deal. Gluten is in everything." and she says that gluten free food isn't real food. She's really annoying me right now..

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sa1937 Community Regular
sa1937
Posted

Obviously she doesn't get it...nor is she a friend!

cahill Collaborator
cahill
Posted

Obviously she doesn't get it...nor is she a friend!

agreed

srall Contributor
srall
Posted

It's not that your friend doesn't get it. Your friend is a bully. Trust me, for every mean person there are 10 nice ones. Don't waste your time on mean girls.

YOU control what goes in your body. You need to be able to stand up for yourself whether someone is pressuring you into eating something unsafe, or drinking or taking drugs. This is a really serious issue. Good luck and stay strong!

Debbie B in MD Explorer
Debbie B in MD
Posted

Susie Q, you are too great of a girl to take this. Real, true friends would not do this to you. Stay strong and be good to yourself.Stay well. THis is really frustrating, but I am sure there are more good people in your life. I don't know where you are, but you are always welcome for a gluten free meal at my house.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

It's not that your friend doesn't get it. Your friend is a bully. Trust me, for every mean person there are 10 nice ones. Don't waste your time on mean girls.

YOU control what goes in your body. You need to be able to stand up for yourself whether someone is pressuring you into eating something unsafe, or drinking or taking drugs. This is a really serious issue. Good luck and stay strong!

Yout friend is a bully. " make you eat it". Who does that? If it was as simple as not liking coucous, who says to a guest that?

As for the part about gluten-free food not being real food, sorry she doesn't eat - chili, BBQ chicken, potatoes in various formations, salad, cheese, enchiladas, etc. She is missing out!

SusieQ Rookie
SusieQ
Posted
  • Author

It's not that your friend doesn't get it. Your friend is a bully. Trust me, for every mean person there are 10 nice ones. Don't waste your time on mean girls.

YOU control what goes in your body. You need to be able to stand up for yourself whether someone is pressuring you into eating something unsafe, or drinking or taking drugs. This is a really serious issue. Good luck and stay strong!

thanks. And she's ok at times but I kinda have to keep seeing her cus our moms are realllllly close so if I say I don't want to be her friend then it'd be awkward for a while cus we see eachother a lot. Know what I mean? So idk what to do :(

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SusieQ Rookie
SusieQ
Posted
  • Author

Yout friend is a bully. " make you eat it". Who does that? If it was as simple as not liking coucous, who says to a guest that?

As for the part about gluten-free food not being real food, sorry she doesn't eat - chili, BBQ chicken, potatoes in various formations, salad, cheese, enchiladas, etc. She is missing out!

Hahahaha that actually made me smile :)
SusieQ Rookie
SusieQ
Posted
  • Author

Susie Q, you are too great of a girl to take this. Real, true friends would not do this to you. Stay strong and be good to yourself.Stay well. THis is really frustrating, but I am sure there are more good people in your life. I don't know where you are, but you are always welcome for a gluten free meal at my house.

LOL thanks :)

JSegura226 Apprentice
JSegura226
Posted

I don't get it.. if I had a friend try to force feed me something that would make me sick.. I would kick them out of my house or call the police to have them removed lol.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

thanks. And she's ok at times but I kinda have to keep seeing her cus our moms are realllllly close so if I say I don't want to be her friend then it'd be awkward for a while cus we see eachother a lot. Know what I mean? So idk what to do :(

Ok. You are a teenager, right? If you have to see this girl because your mom is visiting her mom, ok. But if she suggests doing things that don't involve the moms, I would blow her off! Say no or don't feel like it or got homework.

Tell your mom that you are having problems with her. Does she do this in front of her mom? Your mom? Go for some sympathy...."Mom, sometimes it's soooo hard to be gluten-free. Other kids are eating yummy stuff I can't have. Some of them make fun of me and even threaten to make me eat the gluten stuff". When she asks who would treat her darling baby this way, name about 3 kids ( make up 2 names if you need to) one is Miss Bully.

I can't believe that I , a mom of teenage boys, just told you to lie/ embellish to your mom! :ph34r:

A strategy my boys use is to tell kids " my mom will ground me, take away the car, etc if I ......". You may use that. I, one of the Celiac.com moms, would ground you if you purposefully eat gluten, smoke, etc. :)

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

thanks. And she's ok at times but I kinda have to keep seeing her cus our moms are realllllly close so if I say I don't want to be her friend then it'd be awkward for a while cus we see eachother a lot. Know what I mean? So idk what to do :(

Does your mom support your diet? Tell you mom what this girl is saying to you. Don't let her get away with bullying you! She needs to be educated about celiac diseas and how dangerous it is for you to eat gluten. It might just be that this girl grew up with her mom MAKING her eat stuff she doesn't like and she thinks she should do that to other people too. She has to have gotten these ideas that she can make you eat somehtign from somewhere...If you plan to spend time with her (like an overnight at her place or something--always make sure you have lots of gluten-free food with you. Take lots of "normal" gluten-free snack foods like popcorn, potato chips, corn chips and salsa, so she can see that there are lots of normal foods that don't have gluten. If she is into "health" food you could take things like rice cakes with peanut butter, Lara bars, carrots and dressing, celery with pb or celery with cream cheese, trail mix with raisins, nuts, shredded coconut, etc, dried fruit, umm hummus? As far as the couscous--tell her you can eat plain rice--just don't let her cook it for you! I wouldn't trust her at all if she has told you she is goign to make you eat gluten. No one can make you eat it short of holding you down and force feeding you--and if that ever happens you better call your parents and the police for her asaulting you!

SusieQ Rookie
SusieQ
Posted
  • Author

Ok. You are a teenager, right? If you have to see this girl because your mom is visiting her mom, ok. But if she suggests doing things that don't involve the moms, I would blow her off! Say no or don't feel like it or got homework.

Tell your mom that you are having problems with her. Does she do this in front of her mom? Your mom? Go for some sympathy...."Mom, sometimes it's soooo hard to be gluten-free. Other kids are eating yummy stuff I can't have. Some of them make fun of me and even threaten to make me eat the gluten stuff". When she asks who would treat her darling baby this way, name about 3 kids ( make up 2 names if you need to) one is Miss Bully.

I can't believe that I , a mom of teenage boys, just told you to lie/ embellish to your mom! :ph34r:

A strategy my boys use is to tell kids " my mom will ground me, take away the car, etc if I ......". You may use that. I, one of the Celiac.com moms, would ground you if you purposefully eat gluten, smoke, etc. :)

Omg I love you haha! And yes i'm a teenager and no she hasn't done it in front of her mom... Yet.. Maybe if i get her to then shell get in trouble. I just want a friend who is going through the same thing as me and actually understands me. Thanks or the advice ;) and I don't think I'll need to make up the two names.

FooGirlsMom Rookie
FooGirlsMom
Posted

I feel for you. Most of us moms here can remember (it doesn't feel like that long ago) what it was like to put up with the line crossing behavior of our teenage "friends". It seems a universal problem with teenage girls especially. So many of them think it's their job in your life to tell you what to do because that's what they want.

I've got a couple of kids now - one son in 2nd year of college - and a daughter who is almost 10. A little Mom advice here...learn now how to surround yourself with people who respect you in life. You'll be a lot happier. If a friend cannot support your food choices (I mean who cares what you eat - gimme a break?) what else will she attempt to force on you as the mood suits her? This girl is truly not your friend.

The kind of friends you surround yourself with will lead to the type of man you marry. It's a life skill to learn to surround yourself with supportive, kind, caring people. If you can learn it now at 13/14 years of age, my dear, you are sooo ahead in life. You'll have friends that last a lifetime and then you'll have a great husband someday and then your kids will thank you.

Hang in there and stand your ground. If she doesn't back down, face off with her and tell her what you think of her bullying behavior. There are girls out there that would love to have you as a friend. Go find them :)

Hugs,

FooGirlsMom

babinsky Apprentice
babinsky
Posted

I understand being a teenager going through this can be tough. One of my son's also has celiac disease and I have watched how difficult it is for him to adjust at times. One thing to remember is that you are in control of you!!! Nobody can force you to eat something you do not want to eat, and never give somebody else that much control over you. Unless another person has experienced what we have their opinion means nothing <_<

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

Susie,

As a teenager, there are some things about your life that you do not have control of.

You are old enough to make your own decisions about some things. You have the right to decide what you will (or will not) eat. Nobody can "make" you eat anything. If this was a parent trying to force something on you, there might be some room to argue. They do have some authority over a minor. But the daughter of your mom's friend--phooey. Tell her to stick the gluten where the sun doesn't shine. She's a bully and is NOT your friend. :ph34r:

SusieQ Rookie
SusieQ
Posted
  • Author

I feel for you. Most of us moms here can remember (it doesn't feel like that long ago) what it was like to put up with the line crossing behavior of our teenage "friends". It seems a universal problem with teenage girls especially. So many of them think it's their job in your life to tell you what to do because that's what they want.

I've got a couple of kids now - one son in 2nd year of college - and a daughter who is almost 10. A little Mom advice here...learn now how to surround yourself with people who respect you in life. You'll be a lot happier. If a friend cannot support your food choices (I mean who cares what you eat - gimme a break?) what else will she attempt to force on you as the mood suits her? This girl is truly not your friend.

The kind of friends you surround yourself with will lead to the type of man you marry. It's a life skill to learn to surround yourself with supportive, kind, caring people. If you can learn it now at 13/14 years of age, my dear, you are sooo ahead in life. You'll have friends that last a lifetime and then you'll have a great husband someday and then your kids will thank you.

Hang in there and stand your ground. If she doesn't back down, face off with her and tell her what you think of her bullying behavior. There are girls out there that would love to have you as a friend. Go find them :)

Hugs,

FooGirlsMom

Wow I never thought about that. Thanks for all the support and advice! It really helped me

krystynycole Contributor
krystynycole
Posted

People like this will be around all the time! It's not fair, it's not nice, and we shouldn't have to put up with it but we do.

She reminds me of my sister. My sister thinks she's always right but she doesn't know anything about gluten-free which creates a lot of controversy. One thing I've done is just to take my own food with when I eat with her. I simply say this is my food and this is what I'm eating. I don't make a big deal out of it and always take something precooked easily warmed up in a microwave. I also let her try my food I bring and she's slowly starting to change her attitude.

Best of luck to you and hope things turn out for you!

sa1937 Community Regular
sa1937
Posted

Susie, I think you're a very itelligent young lady and will find it easier to stand up to the people in your life as they try to sabotage your diet. It definitely helps when you get older to simply say NO and have people realize that you really mean NO. I know I had one friend who thought I had totally gone overboard (approaching OCD). Like, "not everyone with celiac is such a fanatic as you are"...and we've probably all gotten, "but a little bit won't hurt you, so-and-so ate a tiny piece of it and it didn't hurt her", et al. Also, "Why did you buy a new toaster...you could just shake the crumbs out of it." NOT!

Maybe you should wish diarrhea on your "friend". :lol: :lol: :lol:

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

First off I agree with the others that this girl is not your freind. Do talk to your Mom about this so she can alert the girls mother about what is going on. Be very careful about eating anything this person can get near as she will likely try to sneak gluten into stuff without you knowing. Be firm about refusing and don't let her bully you. Just because your mother is her mothers freind doesn't mean you have to take it. They can be freinds without you two having to associate.

Fire Fairy Enthusiast
Fire Fairy
Posted

Always remember friends don't make friends eat poison.

weluvgators Explorer
weluvgators
Posted

I am making my way through Allergic Girl's new book, "Allergic Girl: Adventures in Living Well with Food Allergies", and so far I love it! She has so many great suggestions for handling situations like this with your friends. I thought the trailer for her book was hilarious, if you want to see it: Open Original Shared Link .

The book has some specific stories about celiac too! And my 7 yo DD seems to be enjoying the read as well. It is nice to to know that others can relate to the struggles of celiac and food allergy. And there is lots of great information and strategies for working your way through the many relationships that you face while dealing with your medical needs. Take care and do not eat the gluten!

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