Why Do We React With Anger When People Do Not Get It?

[lynnelise]

I don't get angry when people try to understand. I get angry when people like my inlaws say they "just can't keep up with what exactly gluten is" despite my explaining it 100 times. My husband even gets frustrated with them at the holidays because they literally make every side dish a casserole w/ ritz crackers and tell me I have to try it because it's just so good! They also like to make a point to sit beside me when they eat gluten filled desserts and make unbearable sounds of enjoyment that make it seem like they are starring in some sort of dirty movie.

When people say "can you eat this dish, it has blah, blah, blah in it" I have no problem. They are not being malicious or hurtful, only helpful. I don't mind when people unknowingly offer me something I can't have. It's just knowing and offering to spite.

My cousin recently began a vegan diet. She was coming to visit and seeing as this is a rural area w/ little awareness of such diets I did careful research to find places she could eat. When you care about someone and their well-being it's natural to do this sort of thing. I think most people get frustrated when people that are supposed to care won't take a few minutes to consider their needs.

[IrishHeart]

I don't get angry when people try to understand. I get angry when people like my inlaws say they "just can't keep up with what exactly gluten is" despite my explaining it 100 times. My husband even gets frustrated with them at the holidays because they literally make every side dish a casserole w/ ritz crackers and tell me I have to try it because it's just so good! They also like to make a point to sit beside me when they eat gluten filled desserts and make unbearable sounds of enjoyment that make it seem like they are starring in some sort of dirty movie.

That is just plain INTENTIONAL cruelty. They are behaving like children...What are they 12?

Shame on them! I do not know how you put up with that nonsense.

You're more patient than I am (and I have the patience of Job)

[gfpirate]

This is a very valid question. I simply think it is because it's something we have to explain on a daily basis. Who likes explaining the same thing over and over over? It can be frustrating. It seems that most people are better at understanding, say, a peanut allergy. Most people do not know what gluten is, I sure didn't before I was diagnosed! When I think about it, I'm not exactly angry at the person, but more so angry at the situation, if that makes sense. I think our anger roots from having to explain it so many times, and people still don't understand.

[melikamaui]

:lol: :lol:

sorry, mommida

I had someone tell me she was "giving up" candy for lent. Another told me "alcohol".

I was thinking...Really? please, do not tell me about what you are "giving up" for 6 weeks.

I had a friend (whom I'm thinking may not be such a good friend after all) tell me recently that celiac disease was "no big deal". She then proceeded to tell me how "it isn't hard to give up stuff. I give up my favorite foods for Lent all the time"! Yeah...sure. That's the same thing.

[IrishHeart]

I had a friend (whom I'm thinking may not be such a good friend after all) tell me recently that celiac disease was "no big deal". She then proceeded to tell me how "it isn't hard to give up stuff. I give up my favorite foods for Lent all the time"! Yeah...sure. That's the same thing.

oh boy .....Well, if giving up food were the "only thing" that happened to us because of celiac, this would be no "big deal.

Hey, you could say "well, that's a self-inflicted VOLUNTARY "offering" you make for a religious reason so you can feel good about yourself --which ENDS in 6 weeks. You know it ends!!--so how hard is this exactly??"

And truthfully, that one would not make me angry--it makes me laugh---because it is just so ridiculous and the person who said it does not even know why. :lol:

BTW, You are adorable! I love your bib and you are so talented to be able to type so many words at such a young age!