The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

Let's all gather at our westernmost member's abode for a party. There's lots of food, but I fear that she may have used up most, if not all, of the scotch. Perhaps BYOB would be fitting.

Capitol idea! I kinda phorgot that I sorta don't have a house right now Love me sills and all, but can you imagine the lot of us squeezed into me one bedroom apartment??

So......off to Jess's fer chile and rubbed thighs!!!! Bring yer own bacon and scotch

[elye]

Good Morning, Gang!

So......off to Jess's fer chile and rubbed thighs!!!! Bring yer own bacon and scotch

Okay, we're on!

So Jyesss was rubbing thighs last night..... .. . ....

Y'know, this actually does sound like a place I may wanna party . . .. ...

Crap, I'm going for a run this morning, and now every time I pass by a cluster of shrubs I'm suddenly bracing myself for a stealth attorney or gas-armed anaethsesiologist pulling me into the foliage.. .. . ......

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sills

Had a nice weekend--now its back to work and rainy weather! The warm temps and sun this weekend was a tease. I spent the day on Saturday with my mom and niece Silvia, we visited her mommy and new sissy. That baby was a cutie and I didnt not want to put her down. Afterwards we took Silvia to the park and then to the ice cream stand. I got her nice and dirty. Such a good auntie.

Yesterday was John's family's Easter. We went to his parents house for dinner and there was an egg hunt in the yard for Lydia. It was nice since they got eggs before the rain started.

Now I am here again--feels like I never leave work.

John's follow-up appointment went well. He is not able to return to work until 5/25. He is pretty bummed about that but at the same time he is thinking of painting at home. That doesn't involve much lifting. The only reason he is not able to come to work is he is not able to lift over a certain amount of weight and his boss won't let him return if he cant perform his job 100%. So thats John's update.

I guess thats all for now. Not much else to report.

Jess- love your mum av.

Bye sillz

[Jestgar]

Crap, I'm going for a run this morning, and now every time I pass by a cluster of shrubs I'm suddenly bracing myself for a stealth attorney or gas-armed anaethsesiologist pulling me into the foliage.. .. . ......

welcome to my world, where the unexpected lurks around every corner.

[jerseyangel]

Mornin' sillies

Not much to report--glad to hear that John's f/u appointment went well. Loved the mini poop in by Jess's mum!

Hope ya'll have a great Monday!

[Darn210]

just gave jodog her first chill pill . . . and I'm thinkin' it's time to bring out the lamp-shade-do-hicky

Back is seriously messed up from UNlandscaping and haulin' stuff out for the garage sale . . . I'm needed me own drugs!!!

[nikki-uk]

welcome to my world, where the unexpected lurks around every corner.

JESS!!!!!!

GAHHHHHhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Yer cracked me up wiv yer scotch chilli thigh rubbing fest :lol:x 20 ............. and your av (Mummy)...DAMN! she's got good legs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just gave jodog her first chill pill . . . and I'm thinkin' it's time to bring out the lamp-shade-do-hicky

Back is seriously messed up from UNlandscaping and haulin' stuff out for the garage sale . . . I'm needed me own drugs!!!

Pop one of JoDog's......you'll soon be in a very happy place

Is the lampshade the collar to stop her licking ???

GADS those things hurt on yer shin when they run at yer full pelt

PSILLIES!!!!!!!!

Can't possibly comment on everything as you were ALL so bloomin' PHUNNEE!!!!!!!

2 days of sunshine and you'll notice the Brit disappears.............t'is such a rarety, I have to soak up as much vitamin D as possible to ward off the 'rickets' and such like.

...wasn't sure the world was ready for my whiter than white skin, but they GOT it!!!!!!!!

mUCH has been accomplished today in the garden with satisfying dirt ridden hand/nails - kids went back to school

WOOHOO!!!!!

Glad to hear Amanda's John is on the mend

Gian-kneet's clearing out her TATT!!!!!

[elye]

Nikker's safe from rickets! (((whew)))). . . ..

welcome to my world, where the unexpected lurks around every corner.

Um, Jyesss........ . ..things jump out, make no sense and confront you unexpectedly with a dizzying, non-stop ferocity when you are throwing back scotch . . . ....

Just sayin'. . .........

just gave jodog her first chill pill . . . and I'm thinkin' it's time to bring out the lamp-shade-do-hicky

I'm thinkin' that this is a drunken party-type lampshade hat for our drugged Jodog. . .. ....

[DingoGirl]

good monday morning Sills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bloody hot here already - hitting 92 today and

SOOZLE IS NOT PLEASED

:angry:

So - my babies and I need a place to spend for about - five months? We'll take four.......during the wretchedly cruel hot summer?

I'm thinking Canada, London, or Bainbridge Island...........

WHO"S GOT ROOM FER US????????????????????

okay pholks - I took an emergency percocet this morn - don't know why I didn't take one this weeeknd, but I did not - - back is an utter mess - almost as bad as it gets (that doctor told me two summers ago I have the spine of a 98-y-old woman but....I am thinking it's more like a 120-y-old woman now, and my whole posture is changing - help is needed STAT)

but I am feeling phhhhhhhhaaaaabuloussssss - -

makes me very productive - pain not as severe - -

not at work today as.....there is not much to do.......

but I'm getting lots done at home.......and slightly in my magic place whilst doing it

My mistake was starting the scotch before starting dinner.

oh, that's a mistake?

Although rare, civckebs have been spotted in several areas of North America.

Once near endangerment of extinction, the native civckeb is now naturalizing and multiplying at a rapid rate. In fact, in some states they are filibustering to allow special hunting lotteries to thin the herd.

Tis true.

Yes, let's! Can we please, huh? Huh?

Part-ay @ Patteigh's! Here's how it works--1) Choose a date 2) Book a flight on credit card 3) Arrive

'Oh, what shall we do with the drunken chile...?'

doublewood phlashing Yes, only the youngest lawyers can pull this off.

But, I must say, I knew the very first time Scott and I snifgf'ed that he was the only man for me

'My boxers lie over the ocean,

my knickers lie over the sea'

I am sooo cheesed off--quotebusters got me and I had already typed out some dang psilly stuff

this whole thing was quite phunny

MIMMS! if you've got two many quotes (and THIS my friends is a sign that she's a TRUE SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ), you ahve to copy and paste and break up yer post into more than one part. A heinosity, to be sure, but sometimes quite necessary.

I'm all for the psilly gathering. Pah-tay...if it doesn't work out at your place, WV is "wild and wonderful" and "almost heaven" (both official slogans of the state). Would be a real gasssss!

I have not yet planted tomato plants.....but I did get all of my seeds in the garden today (YAY!) Can't wait for the fresh stuff. We do 4 tomato plants and freeze/can a lot of it. I also will do Sweet Potato again this year. I found a variety that is pale yellow....not nearly so sicky sticky sweet. It has a great texture....and holds up in stews. I LOVE this stuff. Also froze and stored enough veggies that lasted into february. I want to do even more this year...sure beats buying crud stuff from the store and tastes....well...store stuff can't even begin to compare.

Sorry...I tend to get a little carried away by garden stuff!

would just LOVE to go to West Virginia.......I have a friend here whose husband's family has a plot on 20? acres, with a very simple, old farmhouse - must axe her exactly where - she visited and was STRICKEN with it - wants to move there desperately - - and she may!

and your gardening talk NEVER gets old, Tree!!!!!!!!!!!!!

speaking of gardening - where's Judith?

JUDITH - - how did yer deck-painting go???????????

Paraverse of Patty Griffin's "Mad Mission":

She was drinkin' like the Irish

but she was drinkin' scotch.

'Twas better than a movie--

everybody logged in to watch.

Every single eye was streamin'

when she reached the final scene.

Well, at least mine did!

'Here's lookin' at you,kid."

It's a mad mission

under difficult conditions...

phantastic - don't know this song but must look it up now....

Okey dokey.

I got, like, 5 bowls of chile in the freezer, plus another big bowl in the frig, the rest of my civckeb, an entire package of chicken thighs with different rubs on them, and a jamaican rub pork loin that just came outta the crock.

May I suggest that we hold the event at my house, since I seem to have already cooked for it?

Perhaps I need to declare a couple no-shop weekends.

Yes - the kids and I are gittin' in the car and we'll be there in a day or two.........

but PLEEZE get those wicked Anesthesiologists Who Attack out of the bushes (unless they're cute and single)

part deux coming up......

[DingoGirl]

OMG - correction

Record-setting temps today - - it's going to be

96 degrees

and I WILL turn on my AC for that.......

BTW - I have to tell you about my Kitteh's terrible aim in the litter box

soooooooooooo much urine on the floor - turns into like a cement goo which I must scrape

but I love him

Capitol idea! I kinda phorgot that I sorta don't have a house right now Love me sills and all, but can you imagine the lot of us squeezed into me one bedroom apartment??

So......off to Jess's fer chile and rubbed thighs!!!! Bring yer own bacon and scotch

*snort*

Crap, I'm going for a run this morning, and now every time I pass by a cluster of shrubs I'm suddenly bracing myself for a stealth attorney or gas-armed anaethsesiologist pulling me into the foliage.. .. . ......

I know, 'tis quite worrisome

except that - I would SERIOUSLY love a gas-armed anasthesiologist attacking and forcing the gas on me (the medicinal gas, Sills, not his pharts one must clarify in this wackl place)

Not much to report--glad to hear that John's f/u appointment went well. Loved the mini poop in by Jess's mum!

WHAT? where was this poop-in? how did I miss it?????????

just gave jodog her first chill pill . . . and I'm thinkin' it's time to bring out the lamp-shade-do-hicky

Back is seriously messed up from UNlandscaping and haulin' stuff out for the garage sale . . . I'm needed me own drugs!!!

I also thought you meant a lampshade for party antics

I used to give Stinker valium, when she went through chemo....and saved a few for her panic attacks - - they were quite something - - uncontrollable shaking and running back into her bed

I never knew why - - she was such a brilliant, peculiar dog Highly complex, brighter than most humans......

PSILLIES!!!!!!!!

Can't possibly comment on everything as you were ALL so bloomin' PHUNNEE!!!!!!!

2 days of sunshine and you'll notice the Brit disappears.............t'is such a rarety, I have to soak up as much vitamin D as possible to ward off the 'rickets' and such like.

...wasn't sure the world was ready for my whiter than white skin, but they GOT it!!!!!!!!

mUCH has been accomplished today in the garden with satisfying dirt ridden hand/nails - kids went back to school

WOOHOO!!!!!

NIKKEIGH!!!!!!!!!! this post made my heart sing - picturing our girl GITTIN HER SOME SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ☼

keeping rickets at bay........and kids back at school???????? HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cocktails at 6?

forgot everything else - -

more later

[jerseyangel]

BTW - I have to tell you about my Kitteh's terrible aim in the litter box

soooooooooooo much urine on the floor - turns into like a cement goo which I must scrape

but I love him

I hear ya on the phloor pee

Jess's mum's lil' note appeared in post # 30843. Hey--I think I just pulled a Jan-it!

Gadzooks Suz--it's mighty hot out there all of a sudden. Everyone here keeps warning us about the summer--I'm skeered

I met the sweetest Celiac lady in Kroger on Saturday afternoon. (phorgot to tell youse guys) We exchanged email addys and I told her she needs to check out our site.

[elye]

- - she was such a brilliant, peculiar dog Highly complex, brighter than most humans......

I really do believe that ALL dogs are brighter than ALL of us. . .... . .

Elsie, for example, true to her breed, is fiercely intelligent - - exhausts me to contemplate it. She knows whether I am taking her and Gus for a run or going to the gym by the athletic shoes I pull out of the closet. The shoes look very similar...same colours (mostly white), my aerobic shoes being slightly higher cut.

Well, they follow me around from 6 am until about 8, watching, waiting, wondering....what are her plans? Does she work this morning? Is that great step class happening? ARE WE RUNNING??. . .. ..

Then, I approach the closet.....Elsie's ears perk forward, she stands transfixed......Gus is looking at my face passively, so? We goin' out, er what?.....

I reach in to the shelf.....Elsie's eyes widen, she is a coiled-up statue....Gus looks over at his food dish, hey, did I finish everything in there?

I pull out:

The runners.... . . . ...Elsie explodes. Jumping, whining, licking. . . ......

The aerobic shoes.........her ears flatten, eyes look away, li'l nub of a tail disappears. . ......she canna look me in the eye. Oh.......you are going out without us.

[jerseyangel]

Look out below, Sils....I'm doing an experiment

I've been successphully eating greek yogurt now for a couple weeks, so I thought I'd try a splash of milk in me tea I'm drinking it now--boy is it good! Keep yer phingers crossed......

[nikki-uk]

I really do believe that ALL dogs are brighter than ALL of us. . .... . .

Elsie, for example, true to her breed, is fiercely intelligent - - exhausts me to contemplate it. She knows whether I am taking her and Gus for a run or going to the gym by the athletic shoes I pull out of the closet. The shoes look very similar...same colours (mostly white), my aerobic shoes being slightly higher cut.

Well, they follow me around from 6 am until about 8, watching, waiting, wondering....what are her plans? Does she work this morning? Is that great step class happening? ARE WE RUNNING??. . .. ..

Then, I approach the closet.....Elsie's ears perk forward, she stands transfixed......Gus is looking at my face passively, so? We goin' out, er what?.....

I reach in to the shelf.....Elsie's eyes widen, she is a coiled-up statue....Gus looks over at his food dish, hey, did I finish everything in there?

I pull out:

The runners.... . . . ...Elsie explodes. Jumping, whining, licking. . . ......

The aerobic shoes.........her ears flatten, eyes look away, li'l nub of a tail disappears. . ......she canna look me in the eye. Oh.......you are going out without us.

*I* nearly exploded in anticipation !!!!!!!

Look out below, Sils....I'm doing an experiment

I've been successphully eating greek yogurt now for a couple weeks, so I thought I'd try a splash of milk in me tea I'm drinking it now--boy is it good! Keep yer phingers crossed......

Am skird Paddeigh!!!! (but hopephul!)

OH SOOZHELLE'S HEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <give it meeeeeeeeee >

Come stay wiv us!!!...... we may not spritz the pillowcases with the smell of fresh perfume OR give 5 star service (muck IN!) but you and yer furbies are most welcome !!!!!!!!!!

T'is laaaaate (back to hanus 6.15am starts ) ....OFF to ma bed....tomorrow peeps!!!

[elye]

I've been successphully eating greek yogurt now for a couple weeks, so I thought I'd try a splash of milk in me tea I'm drinking it now--boy is it good! Keep yer phingers crossed......

Yay, Patteigh! This could big a big thang - - imagine being able to have dairy again? Huge worlds open up fer ya!!!

Come stay wiv us!!!...... we may not spritz the pillowcases with the smell of fresh perfume OR give 5 star service (muck IN!) but you and yer furbies are most welcome !!!!!!!!!!

Let's all get over to Nik's, pets in tow! We must bring our own blankies, wine, and I shall cart along a couple of crutch tips in which to put our candles. . . . . ...

[jerseyangel]

Yay, Patteigh! This could big a big thang - - imagine being able to have dairy again? Huge worlds open up fer ya!!!

Twould be huge! I'd be happy wif just a couple times a week. Over the moon, actually!

I wanna go to Nik's too!!!!!!!

[mimommy]

Sacrificial Azaleas....yes. I have several. They were meant to be beautiful and prolific in their flowering.....but the deer have deflowered defoliated every dang one. I now have several very naked shrubs....(talk about your double wood!).

'Tis a lousy lover and rarely stays the night with me.

I'm all for the psilly gathering. Pah-tay...if it doesn't work out at your place, WV is "wild and wonderful" and "almost heaven" (both official slogans of the state). Would be a real gasssss!

When I was very young--say about 5 years old--I had a mad crush on John Denver I still love his music--I'm such a dork, I swear..."almost heaven, West Virginia"

I missed out on the rubbing of the thighs. Damn! Mine never seem to get rubbed.

Poor Peter

OMG - correction

Record-setting temps today - - it's going to be

96 degrees

and I WILL turn on my AC for that.......

So sorry about the heatwave! Hope you're stayin' cool Round these parts we turn on the a/c at 75 degrees (lightweights). There's this e-mail thing that goes around every so often that says things like "You know you're from Michigan if...you've had your furnace and your air conditioner on in the same day" We tell visitors that if they don't like the weather, wait about fifteen minutes. Case in point--twas 77 on Saturday. Calling for snow tomorrow

Well, everyone, I have had my ear chewed off with this new job more times then I care to mention. I even had a woman make a racial slur to me. Some people are just nasty, and not fit for public conversation. Bastiches, all of 'em.

I had a guy come in today and call me "Young Lady" whilst pointing his finger and speaking in a most patronizing tone. It seems to me that 1) at 40 years old, I'm not a 'young lady' anymore and that 2) to be called this in an insinuating manner by a slovenly poohead only a few years my senior is simply ridiculous. Although I steared clear of the guy (something about the tattouage on his arm made me wary), there are times when I give it right back to people. I have far less patience for people's nonsense than when I was a 'young lady'.

Any hoo--

My husband is being so funny about this duck in our front yard. Last night he watched out the window for her for a long time. When I walked by he said, "She's not back yet, hon. You're going to have to go sit on the eggs."

[elye]

"She's not back yet, hon. You're going to have to go sit on the eggs."

Crap, Methinks I'd be breakin' any eggs I aimed my big arse over. . .. ...

YES!!! SAVE THE CIVCKEB!!

[Jestgar]

I had a guy come in today and call me "Young Lady" whilst pointing his finger and speaking in a most patronizing tone.

I would just assume this means you look 20 years younger.

And racial slur???? OMG!! All this time I thought you were human!!!

You're the new breed of civckeb aren't you!?!?!?!? !

OMG!! We have a thumbed civckeb!!

_{I'm so sorry I cooked your cousin}

[nikki-uk]

Crap, Methinks I'd be breakin' any eggs I aimed my big arse over. . .. ...

YES!!! SAVE THE CIVCKEB!!

YES!! .....we MUST!!!!!!!!!!

Should one squat over eggs as though they were a public toilet????

Another sunny day ...... gotta catch me rays (a pitphul 72 degrees to Snoozelles 96 )

Gotta plant out some of the seedlings!!!!!!

Later peeps!

[elye]

'Mornin' Psillies! Whoa, Nik's been up since 2:15 am my time. . . . . ....

Well, my parent's BIIIIIIIG anniversary is tomorrow, and we ended up kaiboshing the Big Party Idea. My dad has just not been well enough, and when we let it slip that a fete may be in the works, my mom said, "don't do it - -you'll be calling people, and then having to call them back because your father's back in the hospital, or not feeling well enough to participate". So we are going over tomorrow night....with....a cake? Guess I'd better get on that. .. . ...

Rae-tchooll is an Armenian Civckeb!!! A thumbed variety, to boot....!! She can do complex tasks, like climbing, opening coconuts..........

Mimmsy, ya got thumbs! Use 'em to poke those heinous co-workers of your'n in the eyes!

Bah. Rain here, and 13 C........

[flourgirl]

When I was very young--say about 5 years old--I had a mad crush on John Denver I still love his music--I'm such a dork, I swear..."almost heaven, West Virginia"

Well, everyone, I have had my ear chewed off with this new job more times then I care to mention. I even had a woman make a racial slur to me. Some people are just nasty, and not fit for public conversation. Bastiches, all of 'em.

I had a guy come in today and call me "Young Lady" whilst pointing his finger and speaking in a most patronizing tone. It seems to me that 1) at 40 years old, I'm not a 'young lady' anymore and that 2) to be called this in an insinuating manner by a slovenly poohead only a few years my senior is simply ridiculous. Although I steared clear of the guy (something about the tattouage on his arm made me wary), there are times when I give it right back to people. I have far less patience for people's nonsense than when I was a 'young lady'.

Any hoo--

My husband is being so funny about this duck in our front yard. Last night he watched out the window for her for a long time. When I walked by he said, "She's not back yet, hon. You're going to have to go sit on the eggs."

*I* still luuuv J. Denver too. We must be part of a secret society, where nobody admits to this in public! There is just something so......flowerchild 60-ish.....peace/love/mellow/meloncholy about his music that just flows through my heart like a warm, chuckly stream. (Told you I was crazy!)

I tend to be seriously insulted at pointed fingers. I've been know to tell pointers (who are generally aiming for intimidation) that if they want to keep that finger they better put it away . Tends to shut them up. I used to be a real mouse....but I'm too old to be intimidated by idiots anymore.

Yes....you need to sit on the eggs in the absence to the actual mom. You could put this on your resume and pick up some good "side"money as a nest-sitter

[flourgirl]

Heh heh heh....American Civckeb send us a pic! Generally the finding of new species is in places that are not populated ..... in jungles and islands. How kool to discover a new species here......and to actually be talking to one!

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sillies!

I need to rant and I am sorry but this has been boiling inside me since yesterday afternoon. So this is Administrative Professionals week--yep no longer is there just a day its an entire week. So we have 2 support staff people that we always honor by having a potluck and getting them a small gift...So we talked about it last week and then one of our coworkers got married on Friday at the JP. So another coworker planned a small luncheon for her this Thursday. In the midst of everything my coworker friend and I realized it is admin week and no one had planned anything yet. So I talked to another coworker who asked me to send around an email to ask everyone their suggestions to honor our coworkers.....there are 20 of us and I only got 1 reply yesterday and there was one this morning.....So I had sent it out yesterday at 12. At the end of the day I talked to the only reply I had gotten. She said to me that the one support staff should really be in my group (they honor the rest of the office on a day which they have dubbed To those of you who dont have a day day) We have bosses day, nurses day, admin week. So all of those people got together and do something for all of us. So then she dropped the bomb on me and said- No one wants to do anything for the other woman.....I wanted to scream. How terrible! So my buddy here and I decided if we dont hear any more replies- we will take that woman out to lunch and celebrate on our own.

This woman will do anything for anyone. She will help you. Yes I agree she screws off way too much but we all have those days.....its not fair to just ignore her this week. Thats mean.

So then Jen tells me this story of her horrible coworkers. Last summer a coworker threw a picnic for all the people on the floor. She made all this food and people said they were coming. Jen and Landen were the only ones who showed up. Jen said the woman had made pies and barbequed and really made a nice meal. Jen felt terrible for her. At the end of the meal the woman said to her-thanks for coming so I didnt have to eat alone....when Jen told me that I almost could have cried. Flashfoward to today. Jen is the head of this comittee at work that helps improve the morale on their floor. This same woman who threw the picnic ended up in the ER over the weekend and it turns out she has colon cancer and it spread to her liver and she is losing her bowel and getting a colostomy. So Jen decided to see if theycould use some money in their little morale fund and get the woman some flowers and a card.....the manager said no- if she wanted to do that the coworkers need to take up a collection to get their own money. So Jen asked around and no one wanted to contribute.....How terrible! Jen ended up going to the store and buying her own flowers and card and dropping it off last night.

Once again-Jen said this woman helps people in and out of work- no questions asked. She Said this woman will bring cake in on peoples birthdays and never ask for money towards it. That kind of thing.

People are so mean!!!!

[mimommy]

**giggling hysterically**

No time to comment on all your hilarity, but MUST tell you what an eejit I am.

I was leaving for work and realized I had just locked myself outta my habitat. I had been inwardly griping to meself all mornin about my man's penchant for leaving things opened, unlocked, and basically unsealed, but now I'm rather glad he did.

I circled the house, going from window to window, hoping hubby had left one unlocked after the warm spell this weekend--and yea--he did. I had to hoist myself up from a vinyl lawn chair to the bedroom window and pull myself through. My dog thought this was an an amazing trick--he was rather jealous, I think. He's now eyeballing my opposable thumbs with a look of wonderment and envy.

The bad news--me thighs are now bruised from knee to hip

XOXOXO