A Concerned Husband With Questions...

[LenSan]

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Question:

 

This past year my wife found out she had celiac disease, and so for it has been an up hill battle for her and our family. I know I can’t possibly know what she is going through, but I want to be there for her and let her know she is not alone. However, I have recently noticed she has been extremely irritable and impatient. She becomes mad very easy and does not even notice. Not that this is a huge deal, but her sex drive has also went away.

 

I am no doctor, but what can I do to help her? Are these symptoms of celiac disease? Also, has anyone else gone through this? I want us to be normal again.

 

Thanks,

 

Len

 

[GottaSki]

Welcome!

 

Is it possible that your wife has not removed all gluten from her diet?  Many of us become quite irritable when we accidentally ingest gluten.

 

Both of you should read this thread to see if her diet is as strict as needed:

 

Newbie Info 101 - Celiac Disease - Coping With - Celiac.com Celiac Disease & Gluten-Free Diet Forum

 

Hang in there -- many symptoms can take quite awhile to resolve

[cyclinglady]

How old is your wife?  Besides, possible exposure to gluten in her diet, she may be experiencing issues with her thyroid or going through perimenopause.  I was a crazy woman for the past two years due to the combination of all three issues!  I was diagnosed in March, went gluten free, got back on hormone replacement therapy (to help build bone and sex drive!) and my thyroid stabilized.  Whew!  It was hard on my husband and daughter.  Now, I'm back to my normal grumpy self!

 

So, nice to hear that you are willing to support your wife.  I am blessed with a husband who's been gluten free for 12 years.  I can say that he gets grumpy too when he gets glutened.

 

Best of luck!

[1desperateladysaved]

Her body could be busy healing and it can take some time.  Thanks for your efforts to assist her.  My children watch labels for me; you can help do that.  Do you have a gluten free house?  It can make life easier.  I have good hopes for your success as you work together.

 

D

[IrishHeart]

I suggest you and your wife read this book.  REAL LIFE WITH CELIAC DISEASE by Melinda Dennis and Daniel Leffler

 

Really. It will help you both understand what is going on, how to deal, what else can be going

on besides celiac, and what follow up care she may need.

 

Good for you for being so sweet and wanting to help her.

 

but gee, Len.....going to be blunt here.

 

She has been very, very ill in her body and brain from gluten. This disease is DEADLY...

and involves the entire body. She has been malnourished and suffering and her intestines do not work right now.Think: starving babies in Africa we used to see on TV.Celiac Disease is malabsorption.

And malabsorption wreaks total havoc.I was a walking dead woman from it. I could barely lift my own arms. My husband had to dress me at one point.

 

This means NOTHING in her body works...including hormones. She does not mean to be irritated; she's sick. hon..

 

and so, yeah, sex is not the first thing she is interested in right now.

Would you want to have sex if you had the worst flu of your life and you felt like hell ?Nope.

You may need to take a break on this idea for a while,  Len. Give her some time to heal.

 

She has vitamin deficiencies and anemia and all kinds of horror going on inside...including hormone dysregulation.

 

Please, be patient with your wife. Just be extra sweet... and read the book.

Make sure she is not being glutened inadvertently somehow (this can happen in a shared household, for example),,, and soon, you'll be back to normal. 

[squirmingitch]

Len, Gluten turned sweet lil ol' loving me into a dyed in the wool fire breathing dragon lady. I could easily have been an ax murderess. I didn't want anyone to even speak to me & for a long time I could not see what a harridan I had become. Sex? Forget about it! 

You see Len, celiac disease affects every. single. cell. in. your. body. And it doesn't matter if we realize how we're acting or not ~~~ it's sort of like you could say, "the gluten made me do it".

The others gave great advice. Both of you should read the newbie 101 & the book IrishHeart suggested. Have patience, we did not get sick overnight & we will not heal overnight. It takes time. But that time will come, I can guarantee you that. 

[nvsmom]

Celiac killed my sex drive too. When I felt bloated and full to the point of pain in the abdominal area (did not want anything else in there - LOL), had migraines about half the time and felt fatigued, I'm afraid sex was about as appealing as vacuuming... except I could at least frown and sigh while vacuumin gwhere as with "lovin'" I was expected to smile and enjoy myself when I just wanted to sit or sleep even though I love my husband dearly... Every husband's nightmare. It did get better for me (and him) but it did take many many months as well as addressing other health issues like underfunctioning adrenals and thyroid, as well as nutritional supplements.

 

Give it time.  I know it's easier said than done, but hang in there.

[NoGlutenCooties]

Hi Len -

 

First, let me say that I think you're brave and very sweet to reach out to a bunch of strangers in this way - and I commend you for really wanting to help your wife.

 

When I started going through pre-menapausal symptoms I would wake up some days very angry and wanting to kill.  For no reason at all.  Other days I'd be on cloud nine - again, for no reason at all.  One day I had a crying fit that scared my cat.  And I very rarely cry.  It sounds to me like your wife is experiencing something hormonal, not necessarily gluten related.  Although... keep in mind that while she's healing from the Celiac her body is going to be going through a lot that can also affect her hormone levels... vitamin deficiencies, etc. - and her body needs to find her new equilibrium.

 

That said... I got tired of waking up angry - and my sex drive also took a nose-dive, which can be very confusing for women because at first you just don't know what the heck is going on.  I started taking Relacore (the version that does NOT have any synthetic hormones in it).  Basically, it is a Vitamin B Complex with a few additional herbs thrown in to help stabilize mood.  Once I was on it for a couple of weeks, I haven't woken up angry once - and my sex drive is back.

They market it as a "belly fat reducer" because it relieves stress, and if you have stress-induced weight gain I suppose it could help you lose weight.  But I think that's just a marketing ploy.  Marketing gimics aside, it has really helped me to feel normal again.

 

(Vitamin B deficiencies are also very common in Celiac people.)

 

Your wife should get her blood work done to see if she has low iron as well.  Or low Vitamin D.

 

Good luck