Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Ode To Celiac


NoGlutenCooties

Recommended Posts

NoGlutenCooties Contributor

Ode to Celiac

(To the cadence of The Adam’s Family theme song)

 

Constant aches cramps and swelling

Constipation pain and bloating

What’s with the rash and itching?

All I want to do is yak.

 

Losing weight and never feel full

Losing hair by the handful

Can’t think straight and my mind’s dull

What the hell is Celiac?

 

The doctors are so clueless

They tell me to complain less

I feel so very helpless

I may have Celiac

 

Stopped eating grains and gravy

Stay away from booze and coffee

I still can’t handle dairy

I hate this Celiac

 

Finally liking what I’m eating

Gaining weight and finally sleeping

They tell me now I’m healing

I’ll survive this Celiac


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



KCG91 Enthusiast

Brilliant! (and *ping* another piece of the puzzle falls into place - hair loss)

IrishHeart Veteran

happy-clap.gif

 

whoo whoo! Bravissimo!!

 

 

(also to the tune of Addams Family)

 

Soon, you will feel awesome.

Your health will start to blossom.

Our lot in life's not rotten

To be a Celiac.

 

Your itchies,  fog, and foul poo

and quick runs to the loo-oo..

are almost far behind you.

It's life with Celiac.

 

So stay the course, dear Cootie.

Chin up!  good  attitude-y !

You're rockin awesome doodies!.

You're slayin' Celiac.

 

^_^

NoGlutenCooties Contributor

Irish - I love it!!  :D

IrishHeart Veteran

Irish - I love it!!  :D

;)  keep up the good work.  Cheers!

1desperateladysaved Proficient

No glutencookies I really like the last verse!  Keep on singing.

 

D

moosemalibu Collaborator

This was so awesome! I love it!


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



eers03 Explorer

Oh my gosh!  I love you all, seriously!

Gemini Experienced

My......we have some real talent here!  Excellent!   :)

GF Lover Rising Star

Sheesh....I'll have that tune stuck in my head for a week now  :lol:

 

Very entertaining Ladies.  Thank You  :D

 

Colleen

cherries Newbie

Lol love it.

surviormom Rookie

Another LOVE it.

IrishHeart Veteran

Sheesh....I'll have that tune stuck in my head for a week now  :lol:

 

 

.....tell me about it....new stanzas playin' in my head at 2 am.... :lol: oy

nvsmom Community Regular

:D  :lol:  Awesome!

notme Experienced

y'all are nuts :)  but:  what talent!

 

i can't believe you may have topped to poop thread - certainly you are Topping the Charts  :D

Brilliant! (and *ping* another piece of the puzzle falls into place - hair loss)

 

you should see my hair, now, katie - compared to what it was (very, very thin hair, itchy scalp and i was basically pulling out what wasn't falling out)  it's now getting an 'underlayer' and is looking and feeling fuller.   hardly any in the shower drain and i'm not pulling a wookie out of my hairbrush every day :)  also, i'm diving into the dye bottle only half as much (very very much less gray - hey.  i'm old lolz)  i used to have to color it every 4-5 weeks and now i can do 2 months, easy.  happy, happy, happy!  ^_^

livinthelife Apprentice

You all are making me see some humor in an otherwise crummy "can't find anything to eat" day!! SO THANKFUL!!!

NoGlutenCooties Contributor

You all are making me see some humor in an otherwise crummy "can't find anything to eat" day!! SO THANKFUL!!!

 

:D   Excellent!  Mission accomplished!!

MGR Apprentice

Fabulous! Never loose our sense of humour!!

NoGlutenCooties Contributor

It's been 10 weeks of gluten free

My poo has finally sunk for me

I'm feelin' so very healthy

Take that you Celiac!

w8in4dave Community Regular

They are all wonderful!! But man when you list symptoms them like that! We do have to keep our sense of humor! I like the Loo loo lol thats funny!! That will be my new thing when I use the rest room it will be "excuse me I have to use the loo loo" :) 

IrishHeart Veteran

It's been 10 weeks of gluten free

My poo has finally sunk for me

I'm feelin' so very healthy

Take that you Celiac!

 

 

We sing about our poo luck

Most peeps would think we're odd ducks 

For cheering each new "don't suck"...

The C D  family.

 

;)

gatita Enthusiast

This is off the hook... love it!

gatita Enthusiast

This reminds me I've had this song stuck in my head for a year... it's to the tune of "I feel pretty" from West Side Story.

 

It's "I been glutened, oh so glutened..." but it's never gone any further.

IrishHeart Veteran

 "I been glutened, oh so glutened..."

 

"I feel bloated and barfy and dull....."

 

okay, knock it off, troublemaker ! :lol:

 

You know I just I can't help myself if given an opening...

gatita Enthusiast

"I feel bloated and barfy and dull....."

 

okay, knock it off, troublemaker ! :lol:

 

You know I just I can't help myself if given an opening...

 

LMAO :P

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,627
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    kathrynhmarks
    Newest Member
    kathrynhmarks
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Inkie
      I  notice a reaction to tea bags, possibly due to gluten or other substances. Is this recognizable?
    • trents
      The blood tests you had done are not the main ones. The two main ones are the "Total IGA" (to check for IGA deficiency) and the "TTG-IGA". Current guidelines for the "gluten challenge" when people have been gluten free for a significant time period are the daily consumption of at least10g of gluten (about the amount in 4-6 slices of wheat bread) for at least two weeks leading up to the day of the blood draw. That should give you some perspective.
    • Xravith
      Thank you, really.  I took a test for DGP-IgA and DGP-IgG. Effectively, it is not enough to discard Celiac Disease. I was consuming gluten until then, I only started gluten-free some days ago, when the symptoms became horrible and now I feel considerably better, which is a second confirmation that gluten is the main problem. It's been more than 4 years I have the same suspect, when I first thought gluten was causing me problems, I made a gluten-free diet for a year, I felt really good as never before. However, neither I or my parents were well informed about Celiac disease, so none of us tried to make further exams. My father suffer digestive problems and other members of my family as well. Unfortunately, no one have ever been tested for Celiac disease. I'll have to restart eating gluten in the next weeks, so I can make a serious blood test in laboratory, hopefully between two or three months.
    • trents
      As Scott said, in order for celiac disease testing to be valid, you need to be eating generous amounts of gluten on a regular basis for weeks or months before the blood draw. The blood tests are designed to detect antibodies that the immune system produces in response to the ingestion of gluten. It takes time for them to build up in the blood to detectable levels.
    • Scott Adams
      Based on what you've described, it is absolutely crucial that you pursue further medical exams for Celiac Disease and related conditions with a gastroenterologist. Your symptoms—especially the worsening fatigue, loss of muscle mass, neurological symptoms like migraines, and palpitations, coupled with being underweight—are significant red flags that extend beyond typical IBS. The negative home test is not reliable, particularly given your concern about sample contamination and the fact that you were likely not consuming sufficient gluten at the time for the test to be accurate, which is a common issue. While probiotics like Bifidobacterium Infantis can support gut health, they cannot resolve an autoimmune response to gluten or heal intestinal damage caused by Celiac Disease. Your declining blood test results, even if still "in range," further indicate a trend that needs a doctor's investigation. Please do not hesitate to seek a specialist; a formal diagnosis is the first step toward getting the correct treatment, allowing your body to heal, and finally addressing your weight and overall health concerns. This article might be helpful. It breaks down each type of test, and what a positive results means in terms of the probability that you might have celiac disease. One test that always needs to be done is the IgA Levels/Deficiency Test (often called "Total IGA") because some people are naturally IGA deficient, and if this is the case, then certain blood tests for celiac disease might be false-negative, and other types of tests need to be done to make an accurate diagnosis. The article includes the "Mayo Clinic Protocol," which is the best overall protocol for results to be ~98% accurate.    
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.