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Dating Thoughts And Profile Help

powerofpositivethinking

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powerofpositivethinking Community Regular
powerofpositivethinking
Posted
  • Author

I already had plans for this past weekend, and it's another busy week, so we're going out again next Saturday  :)  I'm going to a chain in the Philadelphia area called Iron Hill.  I went to the one in West Chester this weekend as a test run, and no ill effects!!  I previously had another date planned for Tuesday with a different guy, so we'll see how that goes.  I guess I'm making up for lost time  :lol:

 

 

well, come on ,girlfriend...dish!....have you gone out again?? Auntie Irish wants to know....lol

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KCG91 Enthusiast
KCG91
Posted

Woo! Nice one :D

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

.  I guess I'm making up for lost time  :lol:

 

I hear all that, girl....(.me, too lol) , so go, ENJOY!!! Have fun!!!

tonalynn Explorer
tonalynn
Posted

I guess I am missing something here. What's wrong with stating you have celiac in a dating profile? It's a BIG deal. It doesn't mean it defines who you are, but it WILL effect the people you may want to date. By not putting it out there up front, it kind of feels like it's trying to be hidden, like it's shameful. If it was my profile I'd probably put something on there like "I was recently diagnosed with celiac, which means I cannot eat even a spec of gluten. So the standard "restaurant date" isn't going to cut it - so show me your creative side!"

 

I don't see that as being negative. Some people just don't want to deal with "limitations" and it's better to weed them out before you even get started. I kind of look at having celiac as missing a limb. People who don't have an arm or a leg aren't defined by that - but it does present challenges and requires a different perspective. If I went on a date and found out my date had a prosthetic and didn't inform me of that in advance, my first thought would be "what ELSE are you hiding?"

 

Just my two cents, but wouldn't it be as important as disclosing a severe peanut allergy or an allergy to bees? The reaction your body will have to gluten can be just as severe. Besides, if they know up front, there's no awkward conversation, no nervousness about when to bring it up. If something with gluten involves happens, you can just say "No, I can't. Gluten, remember?" and it's taken care of.

 

I'm glad for you that you have dates lined up! Show those guys how awesome being gluten-free can be, and how awesome YOU are! How could they resist? :-)

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

I guess I am missing something here. What's wrong with stating you have celiac in a dating profile? It's a BIG deal. It doesn't mean it defines who you are, but it WILL effect the people you may want to date. By not putting it out there up front, it kind of feels like it's trying to be hidden, like it's shameful. If it was my profile I'd probably put something on there like "I was recently diagnosed with celiac, which means I cannot eat even a spec of gluten. So the standard "restaurant date" isn't going to cut it - so show me your creative side!"

 

I don't see that as being negative. Some people just don't want to deal with "limitations" and it's better to weed them out before you even get started. I kind of look at having celiac as missing a limb. People who don't have an arm or a leg aren't defined by that - but it does present challenges and requires a different perspective. If I went on a date and found out my date had a prosthetic and didn't inform me of that in advance, my first thought would be "what ELSE are you hiding?"

 

Just my two cents, but wouldn't it be as important as disclosing a severe peanut allergy or an allergy to bees? The reaction your body will have to gluten can be just as severe. Besides, if they know up front, there's no awkward conversation, no nervousness about when to bring it up. If something with gluten involves happens, you can just say "No, I can't. Gluten, remember?" and it's taken care of.

 

I'm glad for you that you have dates lined up! Show those guys how awesome being gluten-free can be, and how awesome YOU are! How could they resist? :-)

 

I did not say having celiac is anything to be ashamed of. I said she may not want to start out by saying what she had on her profile

which was "that she was a pain" for having an allergy. I just thought it was not necessary for her to paint herself in a bad light that way.

currently I put a line in my profile about "I rarely eat out at restaurants due to allergies, and I know it can be a pain,

 

( and if I had a bee sting allergy, I would just avoid botanical gardens and carry an epipen.)  I still would not start a new relationship with "I have a severe allergy" or "I nearly died from Celiac disease...wanna hear about it?" I think those convos can wait a few weeks. 

Just my opinion, but I wanted to clarify that in no way did I suggest that she --or any of us--should ever be ashamed of having celiac.

I just do not think it's the first thing I want someone to know about me either. I have many other sparkling qualities and interesting experiences that I want them to know about.  :D

powerofpositivethinking Community Regular
powerofpositivethinking
Posted
  • Author

so last night I met a guy for drinks and had a good time and good conversation.  we were talking about favorite drinks, and when he was talking about beer, I used that opportunity to say I drink wine because I have celiac disease.  He knew what it was, and we talked about it briefly and then moved on and talked for another hour or so.  Both of my dates this week have been close to three hours, which I'd say is a success in itself even if nothing long-term materializes from them.  Now that I don't feel so terrible all the time, I can actually focus on having engaging conversations  :)

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

so last night I met a guy for drinks and had a good time and good conversation.  we were talking about favorite drinks, and when he was talking about beer, I used that opportunity to say I drink wine because I have celiac disease.  He knew what it was, and we talked about it briefly and then moved on and talked for another hour or so.  Both of my dates this week have been close to three hours, which I'd say is a success in itself even if nothing long-term materializes from them.  Now that I don't feel so terrible all the time, I can actually focus on having engaging conversations  :)

 

Honey, a 3 hour date, good conversation, a guy who knows what celiac disease is.... and YOU FEELING CONFIDENT and happy....is MAJOR league FANTASTIC!!

I am lost want to cry (and I am not even your real mom)  :lol:

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powerofpositivethinking Community Regular
powerofpositivethinking
Posted
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so I don't plan on updating this after every single date, but the second dinner date on Saturday with the guy who called to check around at restaurants, went really well!  We walked outside, ate dinner and he might have purposefully ordered the same, exact thing as me, so when we walked outside again after dinner, this time I couldn't say "oh I can't kiss you because of what you ate" ;)  We're going out again Thursday.  

 

In other news, today marks my one year of being strictly gluten-free!  I went out to PF Changs tonight with a friend from work to celebrate.  What a difference a year makes  :)

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

 

I am lost want to cry (and I am not even your real mom)  :lol:

 

oops, just saw this glaring typo..stupid auto correct lol

 

Anyhoo...this sure sounds like a nice guy!!  :)

powerofpositivethinking Community Regular
powerofpositivethinking
Posted
  • Author

thanks, Irish  :D  :D  :D  Not sure if you saw this in another post I made, but in non-dating news, my parents have finally come around!!  My Mom surprised me the other week and informed me that she and my Dad were slowly going to finish up their gluten products in their kitchen and replace them with gluten-free products.  I almost fell out of my chair when she told me that!!!

 

It's definitely been challenging at times standing up for myself and my health, but they've finally seen the positive changes in me, and it's made the difference!!  Now I'm just waiting to get my pancreatic elastase results back from my GI before my next step.  The turnaround time for this particular test is taking f...o...r...e...v...e...r  I submitted my sample last Wednesday.  I still think it's strange that you can be malabsorbing fat and still be overweight!

 

 

Honey, a 3 hour date, good conversation, a guy who knows what celiac disease is.... and YOU FEELING CONFIDENT and happy....is MAJOR league FANTASTIC!!

I am lost want to cry (and I am not even your real mom)  :lol:

 

 

oops, just saw this glaring typo..stupid auto correct lol

 

Anyhoo...this sure sounds like a nice guy!!  :)

FruitEnthusiast Enthusiast
FruitEnthusiast
Posted

Wow, all this talk of eating at restuarants and dating is encouraging for someone like me who isn't that far along yet. Something to look forward to! Good idea to share the celiac info on the first date like you have been. Before I was diagnosed I was doing online dating and I already had food limitations and symptoms I hadn't pinpointed yet, and I found that there are men who don't react that well to someone who can't eat anyplace they want and share food at the table. It's nice to know that hasn't been your experience.

 

Of course I do live in the Los Angeles area... sort of a blessing and a curse at the same time. Beautiful place to live, but you have to weed out the dingbats. Funny combo here of openmindedness and the expectation that everything should be easy all the time. I guess icy roads and a snow shovel in the garage each year would bring anyone down to earth a bit. I've lived where there are seasons, and I have to laugh when people here people freak out over a few rain drops... but it has a great way of clearing traffic for the day!

 

Anyway, thanks for sharing your positive experiences to encourage those of us who aren't getting out too much yet!

Shell156 Apprentice
Shell156
Posted

Aww... I've been there!

I love the picnic idea... I did that a lot this summer :)

Anyway, I've online dated before and I agree with what everyone said... I usually just tell them when it comes up naturally, like if they suggest a restaurant and I'll say, " I hope this is okay, but I have a really sensitive gluten allergy... Could we go to x or y place instead ( or do x and y instead) ? "

Have so much fun dating :)!!

  • 3 months later...
powerofpositivethinking Community Regular
powerofpositivethinking
Posted
  • Author

so it ended up not working out with that guy due to major character flaws on his part, but from every experience we gain new insight  :) I haven't been posting a lot because instead of moping around like my pre-gluten-free self would have done, I decided to just get back out there.  

 

My go to date restaurant is Iron Hill Brewery.  They have been very accommodating in the past, so I keep going back.  If you're in the Philly/Delaware area, I highly recommend this local chain!  

 

Moment of realization...having celiac lines you up for a second date.  If the guy's enjoyed your company and then you tell him I can't let you kiss me because of what you ate, then it's, when can we go out again?  Oh the positives make life so much more enjoyable!  Out late last night with friends, so I see a nap in my future before I go on a third date tonight with the same guy  :)  

 

Dating with celiac can be a little more stressful, but with healing comes confidence, and with confidence comes enjoying life  :)

skullgrl Rookie
skullgrl
Posted

so it ended up not working out with that guy due to major character flaws on his part, but from every experience we gain new insight  :) I haven't been posting a lot because instead of moping around like my pre-gluten-free self would have done, I decided to just get back out there.  

 

My go to date restaurant is Iron Hill Brewery.  They have been very accommodating in the past, so I keep going back.  If you're in the Philly/Delaware area, I highly recommend this local chain!  

 

Moment of realization...having celiac lines you up for a second date.  If the guy's enjoyed your company and then you tell him I can't let you kiss me because of what you ate, then it's, when can we go out again?  Oh the positives make life so much more enjoyable!  Out late last night with friends, so I see a nap in my future before I go on a third date tonight with the same guy  :)  

 

Dating with celiac can be a little more stressful, but with healing comes confidence, and with confidence comes enjoying life  :)

 

If I wasn't in a relationship, I would carry around a ziploc baggy with a fresh travel toothbrush and safe toothpaste in my purse for dates. 

notme Experienced
notme
Posted

If I wasn't in a relationship, I would carry around a ziploc baggy with a fresh travel toothbrush and safe toothpaste in my purse for dates. 

lolz, a Toothbrush Necklace <a Dating Celiac Must Have!  

 

i do like the automatic second date!  :)   that way, it is the way it's always gonna be right from the start:  no gluten kissing  B)

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

It's nice to see that you can find dates that aren't scared off by gluten-free eating and brushing their teeth.

So... You promise them a kiss on the second date, what do you promise them on the third or fourth date? Winky....winky... :)

  • 3 weeks later...
powerofpositivethinking Community Regular
powerofpositivethinking
Posted
  • Author

Hahahaha Karen  :)  I completely missed this post from earlier.

 

So... You promise them a kiss on the second date, what do you promise them on the third or fourth date? Winky....winky... :)

 

 

I've been enjoying dating this summer but did have a bit of a freak out the other night.  I went to kiss this guy, locked lips and then realized, "oh no!! he drank beer earlier  :("  I stopped mid-lock...killed that moment, asked for some water to swish out my mouth, and he promptly went and brushed his teeth.  Luckily, I did not get sick.

 

I had a really great time despite that mood killer, and have texted back and forth with him, but so far have not been asked out again.  A lot of things I'm liberal on, but when it comes to dating, I'm old fashioned, and I want the guy to take the lead.  I also don't want to force something that's not there, so if he asks, I will definitely go out again, but if not, onto the next one  :)

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