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Feeling like a burden to family/friends?

SugarySpiceSassy

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SugarySpiceSassy Newbie
SugarySpiceSassy
Posted

I’ve been diganosed for about a year now (had an endoscopy) and right now I’m in pain after eating out at a restaurant I think there was some cross contamination I let my guard down though as I’ve been feeling better recently but I didn’t want to be “annoying” and make everyone go to another restaurant. 

My family has been annoyed by me going gluten free. They roll their eyes when I ask if this is gluten free and read packages. They just want to go out eat McDonald’s, Chinese food, bread. 

My older sister I believe she means well but she keeps buying me vegan stuff that I can’t eat even though I explained to her what gluten free means. 

 

They don’t like when I cook as in their words “it’s too much mess, or “it’s too late to cook.” I do clean up after myself, I just feel like I’m in the way I can’t eat what they eat and I don’t know what’s a bigger burden me not being able to eat what they eat or me having to go to hospital because I can’t stop throwing up.

school is....

 I’m in college at the moment they have all types of parties and get together with pizza, cake.  Bread Etc. 

 

i would give just about anything to eat gluten and fit into society again.

seems like I’m whining and their worse things to have it’s just hard to fit in when the majority of the world can just eat whatever. 

I just feel like I’m being over dramatic and it’s not a big deal. 

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cyclinglady Grand Master
cyclinglady
Posted

Hey, this is the place where you can whine all you want!  We get it!  

I am so sorry that your family is not supportive.  Do they know that celiac disease is genetic?  That they can be asymptomatic and still have celiac disease?  I am also sorry that you were glutened!  You need to stand up and advocate for yourself.  Consider joining a local celiac group for support.  I dine with my family.  I squally order a drink.  For a while it drive my parents crazy, but now no one cares.  Better to be healthy than  indulge in gluten!  

Be sure you take food with you.  I can tell you that when I open my cooler at a high school football game, the people around me are envious.  My own gluten-eating family begs for additional slices of my gluten free cakes and other goodies.  

My daughter does not have celiac disease, but her friend does.  For prom, the group is are going to a restaurant that will accommodate her celiac friend and a vegan.   How cool and supportive is that?  

Be annoying!  It is your right to maintain good health!  Good luck in your upcoming finals.   We start University applications soon!  

Ennis-TX Grand Master
Ennis-TX
Posted

Get you own prep area in your room...fold out table, mini fridge, microwave with Nordic Ware omlette makers, rice cooker, steamer, grill plate + splatter cover all microwave cookware. Perhaps a griddle, rice cooke/crockpot combo. Anway you own cookware and mixing bowls and clean you stuff in tubs or the tub and avoid the whole family crap.....hate to say it but I was there with the whole family stuff...they do not get it and you just have to do your own thing to keep you safe. I drove my family damn near mad, my symptoms back then were causing me to go Mr Hyde and start breaking things from the briain fog and confusion...it was a emotional train wreck and I had to move out and get my own gluten free home......you will eventually too but just get by how you can for now.
I still find omelettes and egg dish my Go tos with grain free toast or bread, nut butters, seed butters, veggies, and nut flour/butter based porridge. But I have carb issues lol, you can make do with potatoes, rice, meat, fish etc also all naturally gluten free.
But really try to do your own thing and not press it on them if they do not understand...I burned many bridges with those fights, just deal with it if they will not accept it, and do you own thing, family is not all about food, you can still enjoy going out, just bring protein bars and meal prep/lunch boxes.
Here are some links to help out with tracking down some products
https://www.celiac.com/forums/topic/121148-gluten-free-food-alternative-list-2018-q2/

 

tessa25 Rising Star
tessa25
Posted

If you get your own chest freezer you can store frozen pizza or portion  out/freeze some pizza fixins and cook yourself a pizza on pizza night. If you guys eat Chinese takeout you can grab some Feel Good Food Chinese food from your freezer and heat up chinese food for yourself. If you can find a few restaurants that are safe for you, suggest one of those on restaurant night.

 

Moggy Apprentice
Moggy
Posted

You are not being overdramatic. They are either being willfully ignorant, or totally uncaring. 

But you simply can't make yourself ill by indulging them. 

 

pikakegirl Enthusiast
pikakegirl
Posted

You are justified in your feelings about coping in a glutened world. It took me about a year to put my foot down in my own home and make it gluten free after others mishandled thier gluten foods in the kitchen. Iwish they had cared enough to do it for me but that is my lersonality type not theirs. Dont get me wrong, they love me but i have concluded that humans are selfish by nature and adverse to change. Its scary for us and for them when a disease enters thier world that changes life. I was not good at standing up for myself but i am a survivor and i adapted. The hardest thing so far has been a friend, also Celiac, who pressures me to be a foody. We have limited communication. Love is tollerance, faith and respect for anothers boundries. I know who truly loves me and limit exposure to those who dont.

Ennis-TX Grand Master
Ennis-TX
Posted

After today I feel the need to share this story, as many know I suffered trying to live life with my family after diagnosis, they tried a bit but overall they would not give up gluten and were....ignorantly hazardous with food and making me sick. I was at the time...suffering from the mental effects of gluten with loopy thoughts, anxiety, going completely hyde mode and having fights with my parents and breaking things, punching walls, and at points banging my head on walls trying to get my mind to stop looping and work right while dealing with constant other issues. I burned bridges and moved out, I spent the first year trying to be self supportive...it was harsh, I was at some points stealing produce, eating acorns, learning what local flora was edible etc. I then started getting help from my dad when bake sales were down, starting doing better with my bakery.

Starting 2-3 years ago, after my grandparents had a death on each side...my parents stopped doing Holiday meals as much with extended family. I took this upon myself and started making gluten free and safe meals for me and inviting them over.
This Easter was a huge success, I even had my mother come and help me with making Easter lunch. We talked alot, I asked her how she felt when she used to cook with her late mother for the holidays....I told her I feel the same when she comes over and helps me out and I want to do it more. It was emotional day, a re-connection with family, a start of new traditions.
My mother is recently dealing with many of the things I struggled and struggle with....she recently started having allergic reactions to corn, she has bloating and diarrhea daily....and is considering getting tested for celiac and now having sympathy for the issues I have dealt with for years.

Family changes and if you believe in god or some form of karma....it really does work in some way down the road. Familes if you keep trying with eventually come to some kind of acceptance or compromise, even have karma like results in some issues you might find. Just give it time, as mentioned by pika

4 hours ago, pikakegirl said:

humans are selfish by nature and adverse to change. Its scary for us and for them when a disease enters thier world that changes life.

Is  very true, but being around something for awhile humans can be come acceptive of anything good or bad and work it into their daily routine.

PS I will be posting my dinner set up in the Easter Post in a bit.

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted
22 minutes ago, Ennis_TX said:

After today I feel the need to share this story, as many know I suffered trying to live life with my family after diagnosis, they tried a bit but overall they would not give up gluten and were....ignorantly hazardous with food and making me sick. I was at the time...suffering from the mental effects of gluten with loopy thoughts, anxiety, going completely hyde mode and having fights with my parents and breaking things, punching walls, and at points banging my head on walls trying to get my mind to stop looping and work right while dealing with constant other issues. I burned bridges and moved out, I spent the first year trying to be self supportive...it was harsh, I was at some points stealing produce, eating acorns, learning what local flora was edible etc. I then started getting help from my dad when bake sales were down, starting doing better with my bakery.

Starting 2-3 years ago, after my grandparents had a death on each side...my parents stopped doing Holiday meals as much with extended family. I took this upon myself and started making gluten free and safe meals for me and inviting them over.
This Easter was a huge success, I even had my mother come and help me with making Easter lunch. We talked alot, I asked her how she felt when she used to cook with her late mother for the holidays....I told her I feel the same when she comes over and helps me out and I want to do it more. It was emotional day, a re-connection with family, a start of new traditions.
My mother is recently dealing with many of the things I struggled and struggle with....she recently started having allergic reactions to corn, she has bloating and diarrhea daily....and is considering getting tested for celiac and now having sympathy for the issues I have dealt with for years.

Family changes and if you believe in god or some form of karma....it really does work in some way down the road. Familes if you keep trying with eventually come to some kind of acceptance or compromise, even have karma like results in some issues you might find. Just give it time, as mentioned by pika

Is  very true, but being around something for awhile humans can be come acceptive of anything good or bad and work it into their daily routine.

PS I will be posting my dinner set up in the Easter Post in a bit.

That's great!

squirmingitch Veteran
squirmingitch
Posted

That is fantastic Ennis! I am so happy for you & your mother to be truly reconnecting. Good too that she will get tested.

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