The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[tom]

Hey there Em!

I've been meaning to mention this.

Couple wks ago I stumbled across some sheet music, so went ahead 'n' learnt the song. There's a line that always makes me think of you!!

"You used to ride on a chrome horse, with your . .. ..Diplomat" (!)

"Who carried on his shoulder a .. .siamese cat"

Any Dylan fans out there? Yoohoo . .. Hello?<lo-lo-lo> Is that an echo?

Awwww no one???

[CarlaB]

BTW, how are everyone's pets?

The only blue pill I'd suggest giving the yeti is an Ambien CR!!!

My pets are good. The birds are enjoying their newly renovated room off the kitchen! I didn't talk about this little room, but since it's open to the kitchen and is the entrance (a mud room), we went ahead and tiled it, too. We also took a couple ugly closets out of it and put in another window for the birds.

The birds are loving their room! They even said hello to the contractor this morning when he came over. They're doing great, very happy.

:lol: :lol: The ball was thrown in the house!

Right! And "no one" was the kid who did it!

[Ridgewalker]

Speaking of christmas trees and UP .. . . .. .across the street someone did something I'd heard of but never seen. <giggle giggle> There are some sort of newly-built fancypants lofts w/ floor-to-ceiling windows & I'm looking at an upside-down christmas tree hung from the ceiling!!!

Oh my gawwwwd, I have heard of this trendy trend- and can I say I just don't quite get this one!!!

[DingoGirl]

Oh! ....a yellow yeasty yeti...the poor beast. He's got liver issues, now?

dear gawd, what have we done? A bilious, jaundiced yeti?

Any Dylan fans out there? Yoohoo . .. Hello?<lo-lo-lo> Is that an echo?

Awwww no one???

only ONE song - called When He Returns - makes me cry, almost.

off to bed. I'm too cold, have to crawl under me warm covers.

but, um, yeah, I really don't get the upside-down Christmas tree thingy.

[tom]

Oh! ....a yellow yeasty yeti...the poor beast. He's got liver issues, now?

<beep!beep!beep!> Hey! Back up the candida caboose!

I saw a couple "Ifs" up there!!

OUR big fella's healthy as a very healthy horse!

So let's just un-hypotheticate the unhealthiness pronto!!

For all we know he just isn't fond of train travel and it scared the wee out of 'im, discolo(ack I can't do the U!!)ring his pallid paletted pelt.

(If, in fact, there ever even WAS an off hue - perhaps it's simply rumoUr(fine! Ya happy NOW?!) borne of a glimpse under an amber shade-disguising streetlamp?)

I believe our Yeti remains 100% healthy.

Maybe he was just overly hungry?

LET THE YETI FEED!!!!

P.S. Oooooooh the samtsirhC eert (that's the upside-down one) guy's neighbor's tree just lit up! But .. .eh. . . .it's intermittent on/off. Not blinking, but I don't like it.

The samtsirhC eert on the ceiling has a whimsical quality I like. He/she/they better not have KIDS and do that tho!

And I'm sure I'd never do it, but it does, oh yes it does, make me smile. :)

[nikki-uk]

He is wearing an old flannel shirt of Mark's--it's pretty cold and windy here today.

I knew Mark would find him something to wear

Nikki--if you want him, we can get him to the airport.

Sorry, but I've done my stint of 'Yeti sitting' ...besides - it's not fair to the big fella to have endure another trans- atlantic flight (he duffers terribly from jet lag )

Tom, Susie and Bev have offered - but I think maybe Bev is the nearest to you

They did testing, including an x-ray, and he has a pretty bad case of arthritis in his back. It was obvious even to us when we saw the x-ray.

Poor Allo ......kitty wee

I am quite fond of polenta. However, having trouble wrapping my dingo-brain around polenta with plums. What kind of plums? REal plums, off a tree? or canned plums, that you mash up? Do plums come in cans, in the US? has anyone ever seen that? In my life there has never been a plum desert.

Never before a plum dessert Susie??? How tragic

Fresh plums m'dear (do you not have them in the US?? )

Open Original Shared Link is the recipe for those brave enough - but I think you could substitute plums for apples possibly

Okay, listen, guys...I've measured his inseam twice. Believe me, we do not want that beast ingesting ANY little blue pills...

Perish the thought!!!

2 versions of Ave Maria (Charlotte Church & Jewel)

Well now Ptaum, would never of thought you'd like Charlotte Church - but a beautiful version

[blueeyedmanda]

Hey there Em!

I've been meaning to mention this.

Couple wks ago I stumbled across some sheet music, so went ahead 'n' learnt the song. There's a line that always makes me think of you!!

"You used to ride on a chrome horse, with your . .. ..Diplomat" (!)

"Who carried on his shoulder a .. .siamese cat"

Any Dylan fans out there? Yoohoo . .. Hello?<lo-lo-lo> Is that an echo?

Awwww no one???

Like a Rolling Stone!!!!!

[elye]

"You used to ride on a chrome horse, with your . .. ..Diplomat" (!)

"Who carried on his shoulder a .. .siamese cat"

Any Dylan fans out there? Yoohoo . .. Hello?<lo-lo-lo> Is that an echo?

Awwww no one???

Only Dylan would come up with a line like that...if it's a recent song (the last fifteen years or so), he could quite possibly have been writing about me.

Gad, it seems so long ago.....The Blues Festival in Ottawa, I brought a group of my students for an "English in Real-life" field trip...we were right up front, and I scrambled onto a big metal tub to get a better view. Yes, perhaps it was vaguely horse-like in shape...The Japanese Ambassador was with us, and was quite fixated with cats of the Orient...yes, yes, he brought one of his kittens! On his shoulder...hmm, yes, perhaps he perched it there as he cheered and applauded. Dylan kept glancing over with an expression I couldn't read....

Geez...whaddya know?

[elye]

Okay...had to put these into THREE separate posts, as I keep getting this "number of quotes does not equal actual quotations" message....gah! Thought I had this multiple-post thing down. Ah, well...gets me closer to 2000...but do I want this?...

<beep!beep!beep!> Hey! Back up the candida caboose!

(If, in fact, there ever even WAS an off hue - perhaps it's simply rumoUr(fine! Ya happy NOW?!) borne of a glimpse under an amber shade-disguising streetlamp?)

[elye]

Okay, last one...

Oooooooh the samtsirhC eert (that's the upside-down one)

SamtsirhC eert! Brilliant work, Tom! That is NOT Seuss-ian. It's quite...Celtic, perhaps? All of those consonants clustering...perhaps Middle Eastern? Hmmmm...

Plum Polenta Pie....sounds so very English!

That must have been a little British kid who stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum.

[tom]

My pets are good. The birds are enjoying their newly renovated room off the kitchen! I didn't talk about this little room, but since it's open to the kitchen and is the entrance (a mud room), we went ahead and tiled it, too. We also took a couple ugly closets out of it and put in another window for the birds.

The birds are loving their room! They even said hello to the contractor this morning when he came over. They're doing great, very happy.

But does the contractor greet them in return?

A MUD ROOM!!! Had one growing up in suburban Chicago, but as far as I know the concept doesn't even exist in most of CA. Or Arizona. (Maybe it'd be a Dust Room in the desert)

Alaskans have a more extreme version they call an Arctic Room, where the 2nd door is as sturdy & weatherproofed as the 1st, as if they anticipate that little room having snowdrifts maybe.

Never before a plum dessert Susie??? How tragic

Fresh plums m'dear (do you not have them in the US?? )

Open Original Shared Link is the recipe for those brave enough - but I think you could substitute plums for apples possibly

Now I'm a bit mystified. We DO have miles of piles of delicious fresh plums whenever the season is for for them. <mmmmmmm soooooooo juicy!!> Yet I never hear of them used as an ingredient in cakes, pies, tarts, turnovers etc.

(Isn't plum pudding part of some Christmas literature of some sort?)

My theory is that 'plum baking' was compounded to plumbaking, which was contracted to plumb'ing, then some lazy bakers began omitting the apostrophe (why does that word have such similarity to 'catastrophe'?).

Somehow the general public has developed an aversion to consuming the end product of plumbing. :blech:

Like a Rolling Stone!!!!!

"You've gone to the finest schools all right Miss Lonely, but you know you only used to get . .. .. .JUICED IN IT!"

The best part about playing Dylan songs is the bar is set SO low for vocal quality, no one will be thinking "please stop! you're butchering that song!!"

Neil Young too!

P.S. Poor Emily, missing a slash in the [ quote] after "streetlamp".

[blueeyedmanda]

So Patti- have you taken the Yeti to any cool places yet?

[tom]

...we were right up front, and I scrambled onto a big metal tub to get a better view. Yes, perhaps it was vaguely horse-like in shape...The Japanese Ambassador was with us, and was quite fixated with cats of the Orient...yes, yes, he brought one of his kittens! On his shoulder...hmm, yes, perhaps he perched it there as he cheered and applauded. Dylan kept glancing over with an expression I couldn't read....

Geez...whaddya know?

<chuckle chuckle> that WAS you?? Hmmm I would've taken you for the sort who WOULD "turn around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns when they all did tricks for you" though.

Oh well .. . . .live 'n' learn eh?

P.S. Nice to see you've bounced back so well from the time that 'mystery tramp' took from you everything he could steal.

That musta suuuuuuucked!!

Ever find out who the heck he really was?

[jerseyangel]

So Patti- have you taken the Yeti to any cool places yet?

Considering I really still don't know my way around up here....no

So, he goes to Bev's this weekend, and then out west to help Tom? Is that the plan?

[elye]

(why does that word have such similarity to 'catastrophe'?).

Dunno, but we now have a FABULOUS pair of words to mentally file away and use in our next cocktail party that involves poetry recitation. How often are we sitting, frustrated, muttering, "Geez!! I need a word that rhymes with apostrophe?!!" Happens to me CONSTANTLY. Thank you, Tom!

P.S. Poor Emily, missing a slash in the [ quote] after "streetlamp".

Is THAT what happened? Mygawd, Tom....what kind of a brain do you have...noticing these things?....

<chuckle chuckle> that WAS you?? Hmmm I would've taken you for the sort who WOULD "turn around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns when they all did tricks for you" though.

Just didn't have time...I was perched on this metal tub, students around me. Turning could have resulted in a fall. WHY WERE THEY FROWNING AT ME? Probably blocking their view. Doin' them a favoUr, really. Who wants to look at Dylan?

P.S. Nice to see you've bounced back so well from the time that 'mystery tramp' took from you everything he could steal.

That musta suuuuuuucked!!

Ever find out who the heck he really was?

Yeah...I married him. Among other things, he stole my heart. Tried to convince Dylan to approach it all as a love song, but you cannot tell him anything...

[tom]

Dunno, but we now have a FABULOUS pair of words to mentally file away and use in our next cocktail party that involves poetry recitation. How often are we sitting, frustrated, muttering, "Geez!! I need a word that rhymes with apostrophe?!!" Happens to me CONSTANTLY. Thank you, Tom!

Since Dylan's on my mind, a slightly mumbled (w/ mis-applied accenture) "a glass trophy" might work, as well.

'Last troll fee'? (You know .. . .after all the trolls entering the theatre for a Shrek matinee do the over-the-shoulder thumb-point behind them to signify that the holder of their ticket is in line behind them)

A Gamblers Anonymous meeting in Monaco would have to be 'Canasta-free'!

Is THAT what happened? Mygawd, Tom....what kind of a brain do you have...noticing these things?....

If anyone ever hears of a speed-proofreading competition, I want IN!!

I swear I don't even have to read a page for the mistakes to jump out at me! To steal a line from Adrian Monk - "it's a gift ... ..and a curse".

Just didn't have time...I was perched on this metal tub, students around me. Turning could have resulted in a fall. WHY WERE THEY FROWNING AT ME? Probably blocking their view. Doin' them a favoUr, really. Who wants to look at Dylan?

:lmao:

I hadn't thought they were frowning AT YOU!! Hmmmm maybe ALL that 'Tears of a Clown' fol-de-rol (folderol? Ehh) can be attributed to you? Do you perhaps make a habit of kicking clowns' shins?

Yeah...I married him. Among other things, he stole my heart. Tried to convince Dylan to approach it all as a love song, but you cannot tell him anything...

well played!! I did NOT expect that!!

:thoughtful:

<must work out a 5th verse for Like A Rolling Stone! Hmmmm what rhymes w/ Ottawa .. . .. .. >

[DingoGirl]

I have utterly NO idea what the last couple pages were about...........so dingo is most decidedly

out for the day.

[CarlaB]

But does the contractor greet them in return?

Most people do say hello back to them.

A MUD ROOM!!! Had one growing up in suburban Chicago, but as far as I know the concept doesn't even exist in most of CA. Or Arizona. (Maybe it'd be a Dust Room in the desert)

Alaskans have a more extreme version they call an Arctic Room, where the 2nd door is as sturdy & weatherproofed as the 1st, as if they anticipate that little room having snowdrifts maybe.

Well, this is an old bungalow .... the mud room used to be a porch and somewhere along the lines someone closed it in. We fixed it so it now looks like the interior of the rest of the house ... matched the window moldings, trim, etc. It's the room you enter the house from the driveway .... we live on a corner .... everyone uses this door.

Technically, since we live in the city, we don't need a "mud" room, but that's the lingo. I would imagine in CA you can't spare the space. Our house is most likely substantially bigger than the average house out there. Out there, this room would probably be a bedroom!

[blueeyedmanda]

Just got this in an email...my funny for the day

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys

his age rather

curious.

He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out'

from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and

how it was done.

One day he took his question to his mother, who

became rather flustered. Instead of explaining

things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the

curtains one night and watch his older sister and

her boyfriend.

This he did. The following morning, Johnny described

EVERYTHING to his mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while,

then he turned off most of the lights. Then he

started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must

be getting sick, because her face started looking

funny.

He must have thought so too, because he put his hand

inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way

the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the

doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding

her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because

pretty soon both of them started panting and getting

all out of breath.

His other hand must have been cold because he put it

under her skirt.

About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and

sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end

of the couch. This was when her fever started. I

knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt

really hot.

Finally, I found out what was making them so

sick......-a big eel ;had gotten inside his pants

somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood

there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he

grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away.

When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her eyes got

big, and her mouth fell open, and she started

calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it

was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell

her about the ones down at the lake by our house!

Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by

biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it

with both hands and held it tight while he took a

muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the

eel's head to keep it from biting again.

Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a

scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of

the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight.

Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend

almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill

the eel by squashing it between them.

After a while they both quit moving and gave a great

sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they

killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there,

limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.

Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the

battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He

started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the

eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started

to fight again.

I guess eels are like cats- they have nine lives or

something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to

kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute

struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was

dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin

off and flush it down the toilet.

[elye]

:thoughtful:

<must work out a 5th verse for Like A Rolling Stone! Hmmmm what rhymes w/ Ottawa .. . .. .. >

How does it feel?

How does it feel?

To be in Ottawa?

A town with not a flaw,

Like we're in Shangri-La,

Like, it's Utopia.....

LOTS of mumbling needed for this...

[Mtndog]

Pooping in quickly because I JUSt found Amanda and Mr. Amanda's

on youtube of all places!

[tom]

How does it feel?

How does it feel?

To be in Ottawa?

A town with not a flaw,

Like we're in Shangri-La,

Like, it's Utopia.....

LOTS of mumbling needed for this...

Hehehehehe I can mumble w/ the best of 'em.

Now .. . . .. .. .... .what would be a polite yet funny way to point out the difference between a verse and a chorus?

Hmmmmm

<HOLD MY CALLS!! I'm thinking!>

Hmmmmmmmm uhhhhhhhhh

[tom]

OK I guess the 5th verse is up to me.

Hmmm an "English in Real Life" Field Trip to see Dylan in Ottawa.

Hmmmmm

Here goes . .. . .

Some cat from japan, on the shoulder of a man, & man was he diplomatic.

He came w/ a teacher, or was she a preacher, or maybe just pragmatic.

Up on a metal tub,

Was it just to see?

She had an expression,

I just couldn't read.

And the mystery tramp's here in Ottawa

With a ring so she won't be the one that got awa'

He said "it's muddy & I got new pants,

Do I have to kneeeeeeeeeeeeeel?"

Chorus

How does it FEEL .. . .. . ...

P.S. I see you Queen Amanda!! Only 10 more pages in your reign or was an extension granted?

[elye]

Some cat from japan, on the shoulder of a man, & man was he diplomatic.

He came w/ a teacher, or was she a preacher, or maybe just pragmatic.

Up on a metal tub,

Was it just to see?

She had an expression,

I just couldn't read.

And the mystery tramp's here in Ottawa

With a ring so she won't be the one that got awa'

He said "it's muddy & I got new pants,

Do I have to kneeeeeeeeeeeeeel?"

Tom, all I can say is that your versing (n. sing.: written verse, particularly for musical scores) makes every bit as much sense as Dylan's did, or ever has. Just as nutty...more entertaining...

"The one that got awa'??".......

[Jestgar]

OK I guess the 5th verse is up to me.

Hmmm an "English in Real Life" Field Trip to see Dylan in Ottawa.

Hmmmmm

Here goes . .. . .

Some cat from japan, on the shoulder of a man, & man was he diplomatic.

He came w/ a teacher, or was she a preacher, or maybe just pragmatic.

Up on a metal tub,

Was it just to see?

She had an expression,

I just couldn't read.

And the mystery tramp's here in Ottawa

With a ring so she won't be the one that got awa'

He said "it's muddy & I got new pants,

Do I have to kneeeeeeeeeeeeeel?"

Chorus

How does it FEEL .. . .. . ...

ummm, maybe I didn't read carefully enough , but where's the yeti in that?