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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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Jestgar Rising Star
Ummm....that's the date, silly. Do you get dates often? Obviously Patteigh doesn't. :D

:lol::lol:

Poor P'tay. Obviously the lack of substandard poodles is affecting her dating life. Or maybe it's the corn syrup hairstyle :huh:

I, myself, find the Q-tip look most appealing. Difficult to come-by though. You have to be standing near the heli-pad when the life flight is taking off. Landing doesn't seem to produce the same sense of hair-drama.


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elye Community Regular
Poor P'tay. Obviously the lack of substandard poodles is affecting her dating life. Or maybe it's the corn syrup hairstyle :huh:

Yes! Yes! That MUST be why I have no trouble acquiring dates.... <_< The ever-attractive circus dogs and crusty, beehive hair arrangements. Turn-on city, fo' sho..... :lol::lol:

So I have the date of the Historic Psilly Philly Summit forever photographically inscribed on my left breast, like a tattoo or cow brand. Rather distractng, methinks....how can I photo edit this to move it over to Patti's boob? :lol:

Hey!!.....Have we heard from Patti today??..... :unsure:

I, myself, find the Q-tip look most appealing. Difficult to come-by though. You have to be standing near the heli-pad when the life flight is taking off. Landing doesn't seem to produce the same sense of hair-drama.

:lol::lol:

OMG....Need an av of this.........

tom Contributor
There are instructions for such things:

Open Original Shared Link

:lol: "Sweatermeat"??? (Should I have heard that one before?)

And :lol: for "hard to wrangle rack"

jerseyangel Proficient
"Four grand for a TOOTH that no one will even see?! Man, ya could have gotten TWO BOOBS done fer that, and they'd be RIGHT OUT THERE!" <_<

:lol::lol: Ga-a-a-d!!! :lol:

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Good one! :P

..........I have to tuck mine into my belt. :ph34r::angry::blink:

NOT a purtty site I say.

B)

:lol: Judy gettin her sillie on!!! :lol:

Ummm....that's the date, silly. Do you get dates often? Obviously Patteigh doesn't. :D

:(

Darn210 Enthusiast
Mygawd.....what are those funny little numbers running across my boob in my av?? Can everyone else see them? Patti doesn't have any on HER boobs.....

What does it mean??.........................

Your boob's expiration date??? . . . or lots of companies call them "freshness" dates . . . looks like your boobs are no longer fresh . . . :lol::lol::lol:

elye Community Regular
Your boob's expiration date??? . . . or lots of companies call them "freshness" dates . . . looks like your boobs are no longer fresh . . . :lol::lol::lol:

Gad...........

You're absolutely right, Janet.....it's the Best Before date stamped on my boob.

They expired ten years ago, shortly after my second pregnancy.

Why do our boobs have to have a shelf life??! :angry::angry::lol:

curlyfries Contributor
Why do our boobs have to have a shelf life??! :angry::angry::lol:

I think when you have to tuck them into your belt, they can no longer qualify as a shelf <_<


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Judyin Philly Enthusiast
I think when you have to tuck them into your belt, they can no longer qualify as a shelf <_<

:rolleyes::blink::( Just going to bed and this is the last thing that i have to take to bed in my mind???????????? Gawd........... <_<

Honey I lost the 'shelf' years ago.............soon I'll be needing a wheelbarrow.............. :lol: Wouldn't want to trip on them while stepping over them using my cane........................ B)

nite all

judy

DingoGirl Enthusiast

note: started writing, phone calls came, niece stopped by, y'all probably thought I was writing a TOME but, thankfully, 'tis not true! :P

But OMG my me sillies, I am sooooooooooooooooooooo far behind, will never catch up, but I did happen upon a veritable SPATE of boob talk!!!!!!! gahhhhhhhhh! (wee-breasted Soozle likes it) ;)

Tryin' to get me silly back.......it is coming.......slowly and in short spurts.

Having the support of me sillies (and non-sillies on the phorum) has helped tremendously, you have no idea. :wub:

what's skee ball? :ph34r:

:unsure: I know!!! what in hell? And our Bev, a skee ball champion? sooper!

Ptaoughmghmn! Wow, those are Superboobs. Two summers ago I spent an unbelievable $4,000.00 :o on a tooth implant. DH kept muttering through my entire recovery, "Four grand for a TOOTH that no one will even see?! Man, ya could have gotten TWO BOOBS done fer that, and they'd be RIGHT OUT THERE!" <_<

eggZACTly! <_<

Another phunny from Mom:

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'

The girl said:

'NO!'

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself.

She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.

The End

oh, the joy! This will be me....... <mixed emotions>

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

ummm.....what? what'd I miss? Jellyfish? <hi judy!>

Susie!! Good to see you. I was just going to send you a note since I hadn't seen you in a while . . . but now I know to start talking about free boobs and that will catch your attention!!

boobs, penis slings, kangaroo scrotum sacks.......it's awwl gud! :lol:

Poor P'tay. Obviously the lack of substandard poodles is affecting her dating life. Or maybe it's the corn syrup hairstyle :huh:

:unsure: wasn't it Ehmahleigh who has the corn syrup hair? And......are you saying that Paddeigh wants to date? does Mark know?

oh sillies, so many happy, silly, summits!!!!!!!!!!! love the photos............janet, you've outdone yerself :lol:

Well friends............tired now.......off to bed................

:) love you all!

elye Community Regular
Boobs, penis slings, kangaroo scrotum sacks.......

:lol::lol::lol:

Thought I'd start our Tuesday morning with this screaming, terrific quote from Psilly Psoozle.....excellent to ponder over our morning coffee.....

And do not forget the newbies.....wanted to repeat it in case they missed it last evening.... :huh::lol:

SOOOO wonderful to hear our Susie's narrative back in Sillyville!! You MAKE this place, girl! :wub::wub:

Jestgar Rising Star

G'mornin'

I feel somewhat close to normal!! :rolleyes::):D;):rolleyes:B):D:ph34r:

bleeding stopped (sorry gentlemen) premarin is wearing off so no more morning sickness :blink:

My arm hurts like $%#&*@# from the depo-provera shot yesterday (I don't recall being warned that it was a humongous needle shooting something the consistency of cream soup into my arm) but that'll pass.

AND I was having so much fun feeling like crap that I forgot to tell you guys the best news. That huge project I started last October with all the cell lines and the stimulation and the multiple steps and on and on? I finished QC'ing the final products and out of almost 700 samples there are perhaps 3 that didn't work :selfsatisfiedsmirk: Some of the last step have to be redone, but the starting material is good, so I expect it'll be fine.

So, this means that I have reagents to actually start the real project now (resigned sigh).

cheery day to y'all!!

Mtndog Collaborator

A Suzzle sighting and Jess feeling better!! Yee-HAW!!!!!!!!!!! I too was logged on for over 12 hours- oops :o

Check this out: I got glutened :( I ate Twizzlers (like Red Vines for you West Coasties) and didn't look at the ingredients until AFTER. So far the only tell-tale sign is some smelly smelly gaseousness!!!!!!!!! Crossingfingersemoticon <_<

This is one of the few things I have never tried with duct tape. Does it work? Hmmmmm..I have a wedding to attend Saturday - - quite a formal affair at a golf club......I may be able to make my dress much more nicely filled out, methinks.

But what about when I need to rip it off at bedtime? :oEeeeyyyyoooowww......

Did it at Halloween one year (Bridesmaid of Frankenstein). It TOTALLY works. The key is to come home drunk so when you rip it off ya don't care!!!

: "Sweatermeat"??? (Should I have heard that one before?)

"hard to wrangle rack"

Ptaum :lol: :lol:

Your boob's expiration date??? . . . or lots of companies call them "freshness" dates . . . looks like your boobs are no longer fresh . . .

janet

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

At least it's not the Budweiser Born on Date!

:rolleyes::blink::( Just going to bed and this is the last thing that i have to take to bed in my mind???????????? Gawd........... <_<

Honey I lost the 'shelf' years ago.............soon I'll be needing a wheelbarrow.............. :lol: Wouldn't want to trip on them while stepping over them using my cane........................ B)

nite all

judy

JUDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! Come back (and give us some of yer boobs!)

Well, not only am I a world famous skee ball player, but it seems that the weekend I spent in Vermont had me chatting with a famous man. had no idea- knew he had just been in a movie but thought stunt guys or sumfin' cause he was so quiet and humble. Alas- he is the star!!!!!!!! And so i introduce you to Open Original Shared Link

They think he might be the next Bruce Lee- can you believe it? This guy helped me make lunch for the kids one day- very handsome and polite.

jerseyangel Proficient
I feel somewhat close to normal!! :rolleyes::):D;):rolleyes:B):D:ph34r:

That is really good news! :D What a relief ;)

Congrats on the project..... :blink: on all the details, but glad it all worked out so you can proceed onto the "real" project" :)

Crossingfingersemoticon <_<

Let's hope that's all there is to it....look at it positively: you can now go up to people and ask them to pull yer finger and really deliver! :lol:

It's so nice to have you here being sillie again :D

Well gang, I was summoned to the doctor yesterday....the liver function tests came back--and now there are 3 abnormal readings :o There was only one going into it <_<

I will be having an upper abdominal ultrasound on Saturday. The doctor thinks that this could possibly have something to do with my "ongoing gastrointestinal issues". They think it may be me gallbladder :(

Jeesh!

Mtndog Collaborator
I will be having an upper abdominal ultrasound on Saturday. The doctor thinks that this could possibly have something to do with my "ongoing gastrointestinal issues". They think it may be me gallbladder :(

Jeesh!

Oh Poopy Cow Patti- the only good news- GREAT drugs if you have a gallbladderectomy!!!!!!!!! I woke up drunk and laughing and hungry :lol: :lol:

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Oh Poopy Cow Patti- the only good news- GREAT drugs if you have a gallbladderectomy!!!!!!!!! I woke up drunk and laughing and hungry :lol: :lol:

Patti's gona keep that gallbladder........... B) we'll find some drugs that will help it run ' like a precision machine' :lol:

Amanda....see your on line..........thought you were leaving for vacation..........??????????? :o Aren't you well enough to go.

let us know.

hi ya Bevie..........

judy

Jestgar Rising Star
Well gang, I was summoned to the doctor yesterday....the liver function tests came back--and now there are 3 abnormal readings :o There was only one going into it <_<

Find a new doctor - one that doesn't do any tests, then everything is just fine :rolleyes::huh:

Green12 Enthusiast

Hallooo me Sillies! I missed all the boob talk, again, probably a good thing :lol:

AND I was having so much fun feeling like crap that I forgot to tell you guys the best news. That huge project I started last October with all the cell lines and the stimulation and the multiple steps and on and on? I finished QC'ing the final products and out of almost 700 samples there are perhaps 3 that didn't work :selfsatisfiedsmirk: Some of the last step have to be redone, but the starting material is good, so I expect it'll be fine.

So, this means that I have reagents to actually start the real project now (resigned sigh).

YAY Jess, so glad you are feeling somewhat normal!!!

Congrats on the project.....I am with Patti, :blink: on the details (sounds like a lot of scientificness to me :lol:)

Check this out: I got glutened :( I ate Twizzlers (like Red Vines for you West Coasties) and didn't look at the ingredients until AFTER. So far the only tell-tale sign is some smelly smelly gaseousness!!!!!!!!! Crossingfingersemoticon <_<

Oh no Bev! I hope it doesn't make you sicker. I had no idea that licorice had gluten in it, wheat flour is like the first ingredient. Why? :huh:

It TOTALLY works. The key is to come home drunk so when you rip it off ya don't care!!!

Oh watch out, Bev has her silly on today! A gluten induced silly :lol:

Well, not only am I a world famous skee ball player, but it seems that the weekend I spent in Vermont had me chatting with a famous man. had no idea- knew he had just been in a movie but thought stunt guys or sumfin' cause he was so quiet and humble. Alas- he is the star!!!!!!!! And so i introduce you to Open Original Shared Link

They think he might be the next Bruce Lee- can you believe it? This guy helped me make lunch for the kids one day- very handsome and polite.

How cool! Link isn't working for me though :(

Well gang, I was summoned to the doctor yesterday....the liver function tests came back--and now there are 3 abnormal readings :o There was only one going into it <_<

I will be having an upper abdominal ultrasound on Saturday. The doctor thinks that this could possibly have something to do with my "ongoing gastrointestinal issues". They think it may be me gallbladder :(

Jeesh indeed Patti! I thought you had already had your gallbladder out for some reason. Is that what they are looking in to as an option?

So good to see Susie being Silly again, warms me heart!

And Judy, it's so good to see you posting more phrequently :D

nikki-uk Enthusiast

A Souzhelle sighting?!?!?? :D

Jess ...ouch on the jab but woo-hoo on the cessation of the bleeding!!!!!!!!

A self satisfied scientist!! :D

Boris also got jabbed today as he had his first lot of vaccinations - he's sleeping like a baby now :D

A Suzzle sighting and Jess feeling better!! Yee-HAW!!!!!!!!!!! I too was logged on for over 12 hours- oops :o

Check this out: I got glutened :( I ate Twizzlers (like Red Vines for you West Coasties) and didn't look at the ingredients until AFTER. So far the only tell-tale sign is some smelly smelly gaseousness!!!!!!!!! Crossingfingersemoticon <_<

Eek Bevel!!! (you smell)

Tel did a similar thang today but with a bag of crisps chips.

He had eaten half the bag before he noticed they had changed the ingredients :o

<Hmmm, let's improve the flavoUr by adding a s**t load of wheat flour> :angry:

........don't you just hate it when that happens? :rolleyes:

We are preparing ourselves by battening down the hatches and designating a 'Tel only' loo with re-inforced bowl :ph34r:

They think he might be the next Bruce Lee- can you believe it? This guy helped me make lunch for the kids one day- very handsome and polite.

BEVEL!!!!!

Put him down - he's just a boy! :lol:

Patti's gona keep that gallbladder........... B) we'll find some drugs that will help it run ' like a precision machine' :lol:

:lol:

Judy makes me giggle !!

Oh poor P'tea's liver :( (with a nice Chianti)

jerseyangel Proficient
Oh poor P'tea's liver :( (with a nice Chianti)

:lol::lol::lol: And fava beans! :lol:

Poor Tel :( It's quite distressing when ya know it's coming, and there's not a darn (sorry Janet) thing you can do about it. :angry:

Stupid flavoUred crisps :angry::angry:

Ridgewalker Contributor

A phunny from Brian... giggle... he said he knew this would tickle my particular brand of humor.

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.

When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

jerseyangel Proficient

:lol: Sarah!

I sent that one on to Mark--it's his brand of humoUr, too! :P

Mtndog Collaborator
Find a new doctor - one that doesn't do any tests, then everything is just fine :rolleyes::huh:

BEST IDEA EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eek Bevel!!! (you smell)

We are preparing ourselves by battening down the hatches and designating a 'Tel only' loo with re-inforced bowl :ph34r:

BEVEL!!!!!

Put him down - he's just a boy! :lol:

Tee hee!!!! He's 40. Doesn't look it though.....slept most of the time. He had flown in from LA and his wings were tired. patti- did you check out his roundhouse kick? :P

:lol::lol::lol: And fava beans! :lol:

More tee hee!!!!!!!!

A phunny from Brian... giggle... he said he knew this would tickle my particular brand of humor.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

THIS would be my luck :lol: :lol:

Jestgar Rising Star
Tee hee!!!! He's 40. Doesn't look it though.....slept most of the time. He had flown in from LA and his wings were tired. patti- did you check out his roundhouse kick? :P

Well share him then! Me first, then Soooooooooze (I don't want any permanent attachments.....is this TMI??).

elye Community Regular
GREAT drugs if you have a gallbladderectomy!!!!!!!!! I woke up drunk and laughing and hungry!

Um...........doesn't everyone wake up that way? :huh::unsure::lol:

I sent that one on to Mark--it's his brand of humoUr, too! :P

Mark has THEE best, most caustic and quick sense of humour, EVAH.

Bev!! That Dark Warrior is quite something.......

He ain't too young! He's got a social insurance number, he's good to go...... :lol:

Well share him then! Me first, then Soooooooooze (I don't want any permanent attachments.....is this TMI??).

Then me! Uh, well........I dunno....see, my breasts have expired........ :lol:<_<

Jess! You yourself have been a Dark Warrior, and fought yer way through the heinosity of a fibroid attack....good one! :) And great news about your horrific-sounding, mathy, sciency project..... ..

DingoGirl Enthusiast
A Souzhelle sighting?!?!?? :D

:lol: love the french spelling - and Nik's whole post :lol:

Well share him then! Me first, then Soooooooooze (I don't want any permanent attachments.....is this TMI??).

Um.....you can keep him.......I'm losing weight and my small breasts are feeling a little more.....flaccid :blink:

(not really - not enough to sag, pholks)

Jess! Heinous fibroid attack but - feeling better?? ANd - what is with this diabolically heinous (but somehow good?) mad science experiment????? :huh: (I am so sorry pholks - I read things and can't rememember what is happening to whom and etc - my brain is a SIEVE these days :( )

But - Bevel (:lol: on the gnu gname) - glutened??? But still, wackl as ever...... OMG - I was shocked to read in like - 7th grade? that Red Vines' first ingredient is WHEAT FLOUR - made no sense to me a'tall................ HEINOUS!!!!!

Patti - gall bladder???? OUT, I say, OUT! (my friend had it done - 'twas no big deal at all!) Let us know on yer liver, honey................

phorgot what else but this joke did actually make me guffaw - -

Grandmas Don't Know Everything

He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while.

When he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that thing

called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the

other?'

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth.

'It's called sexual intercourse, darling'.

Little Tony just said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the

other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't

called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mom wants to

talk to you.' :lol:

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      @catnapt, Wheat germ has very little gluten in it.  Gluten is  the carbohydrate storage protein, what the flour is made from, the fluffy part.  Just like with beans, there's the baby plant that will germinate  ("germ"-inate) if sprouted, and the bean part is the carbohydrate storage protein.   Wheat germ is the baby plant inside a kernel of wheat, and bran is the protective covering of the kernel.   Little to no gluten there.   Large amounts of lectins are in wheat germ and can cause digestive upsets, but not enough Gluten to provoke antibody production in the small intestines. Luckily you still have time to do a proper gluten challenge (10 grams of gluten per day for a minimum of two weeks) before your next appointment when you can be retested.    
    • knitty kitty
      Hello, @asaT, I'm curious to know whether you are taking other B vitamins like Thiamine B1 and Niacin B3.  Malabsorption in Celiac disease affects all the water soluble B vitamins and Vitamin C.  Thiamine and Niacin are required to produce energy for all the homocysteine lowering reactions provided by Folate, Cobalamine and Pyridoxine.   Weight gain with a voracious appetite is something I experienced while malnourished.  It's symptomatic of Thiamine B1 deficiency.   Conversely, some people with thiamine deficiency lose their appetite altogether, and suffer from anorexia.  At different periods on my lifelong journey, I suffered this, too.   When the body doesn't have sufficient thiamine to turn food, especially carbohydrates, into energy (for growth and repair), the body rations what little thiamine it has available, and turns the carbs into fat, and stores it mostly in the abdomen.  Consuming a high carbohydrate diet requires additional thiamine to process the carbs into energy.  Simple carbohydrates (sugar, white rice, etc.) don't contain thiamine, so the body easily depletes its stores of Thiamine processing the carbs into fat.  The digestive system communicates with the brain to keep eating in order to consume more thiamine and other nutrients it's not absorbing.   One can have a subclinical thiamine insufficiency for years.  A twenty percent increase in dietary thiamine causes an eighty percent increase in brain function, so the symptoms can wax and wane mysteriously.  Symptoms of Thiamine insufficiency include stunted growth, chronic fatigue, and Gastrointestinal Beriberi (diarrhea, abdominal pain), heart attack, Alzheimer's, stroke, and cancer.   Thiamine improves bone turnover.  Thiamine insufficiency can also affect the thyroid.  The thyroid is important in bone metabolism.  The thyroid also influences hormones, like estrogen and progesterone, and menopause.  Vitamin D, at optimal levels, can act as a hormone and can influence the thyroid, as well as being important to bone health, and regulating the immune system.  Vitamin A is important to bone health, too, and is necessary for intestinal health, as well.   I don't do dairy because I react to Casein, the protein in dairy that resembles gluten and causes a reaction the same as if I'd been exposed to gluten, including high tTg IgA.  I found adding mineral water containing calcium and other minerals helpful in increasing my calcium intake.   Malabsorption of Celiac affects all the vitamins and minerals.  I do hope you'll talk to your doctor and dietician about supplementing all eight B vitamins and the four fat soluble vitamins because they all work together interconnectedly.  
    • Florence Lillian
      Hi Jane: You may want to try the D3 I now take. I have reactions to fillers and many additives. Sports Research, it is based in the USA and I have had no bad reactions with this brand. The D3 does have coconut oil but it is non GMO, it is Gluten free, Soy free, Soybean free and Safflower oil free.  I have a cupboard full of supplements that did not agree with me -  I just keep trying and have finally settled on Sports Research. I take NAKA Women's Multi full spectrum, and have not felt sick after taking 2 capsules per day -  it is a Canadian company. I buy both from Amazon. I wish you well in your searching, I know how discouraging it all is. Florence.  
    • catnapt
      highly unlikely  NOTHING and I mean NOTHING else has ever caused me these kinds of symptoms I have no problem with dates, they are a large part of my diet In fact, I eat a very high fiber, very high vegetable and bean diet and have for many years now. It's considered a whole foods plant based or plant forward diet (I do now eat some lean ground turkey but not much) I was off dairy for years but recently had to add back plain yogurt to meet calcium needs that I am not allowed to get from supplements (I have not had any problem with the yogurt)   I eat almost no processed foods. I don't eat out. almost everything I eat, I cook myself I am going to keep a food diary but to be honest, I already know that it's wheat products and also barley that are the problem, which is why I gradually stopped eating and buying them. When I was eating them, like back in early 2024, when I was in the middle of moving and ate out (always had bread or toast or rolls or a sub or pizza) I felt terrible but at that time was so busy and exhausted that I never stopped to think it was the food. Once I was in my new place, I continued to have bread from time to time and had such horrible joint pain that I was preparing for 2 total knee replacements as well as one hip! The surgery could not go forward as I was (and still am) actively losing calcium from my bones. That problem has yet to be properly diagnosed and treated   anyway over time I realized that I felt better when I stopped eating bread. Back at least 3 yrs ago I noticed that regular pasta made me sick so I switched to brown rice pasta and even though it costs a lot more, I really like it.   so gradually I just stopped buying and eating foods with gluten. I stopped getting raisin bran when I was constipated because it made me bloated and it didn't help the constipation any more (used to be a sure bet that it would in the past)   I made cookies and brownies using beans and rolled oats and dates and tahini and I LOVE them and have zero issues eating those I eat 1 or more cans of beans per day easily can eat a pound of broccoli - no problem! Brussels sprouts the same thing.   so yeh it's bread and related foods that are clearly the problem  there is zero doubt in my mind    
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