Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

Darn210 Enthusiast
Gianknit - The Reader.........my mum loved the movie.........must ponder........do you think anyone will mind if I show up with Weezee and Kit Kit? :lol:

Should nae be problem . . . as long as they get along wif the host's pet . . . I believe all but one of the ten have dogs and/or cats.

Janet, I am also jealous of yer book club. Sounds so fun and the book selections so interesting. Do you update on Good Reads?

Hi Jooleigh - Haven't updated on Good Reads in ages . . . :rolleyes: . . . one of those things I'll get around to . . . I'm the one that started my book club. If I can do it, anybody can. My idea was to invite three people and then have each of them invite two people so that I wouldn't have to personally round up enough and I would also get a chance to meet/make some new friends. As it turned out, I ended up knowing everyone (except one) but I've gotten to know some a lot better than I did. Ten seems to be a good number . . . we usually have 6 or 7 at any particular discussion.

(did you guys know that I memorized pretty much the entire Les Mis soundtrack about 20 years ago? and this one's my theme song? And I have belted it out - in tandem with my niece or completely solo - in pubs, bars, dinner parties, family gatherings, anywhere)

Anybody else find this ironic???? . . . Suezzle's THEME song is from . . .*gasp* . . . a musical!!!????!!!!

:)

I LOVED that book! Have you read "The Dogs of Babel" or "The Red Tent" or "Garden Spells"?

No, Yes(Really Liked It), No . . . I shall throw the two "No's" out to the group for potential book club reads.

Bevdearly - loved your poem for Joodeigh.

Buttercup on weed catnip - :lol::lol:

Also loved the Dr. Seuss poem . . . who was that?? Geosse??

WHERE'S OUR DAMN RECIPE FOR CHOCOLATE PIG PIE????

*snort* . . . get it?? Funny? annnnnnd Pig?? Snort?? :lol::lol::lol:


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
jerseyangel Proficient
*snort* . . . get it?? Funny? annnnnnd Pig?? Snort?? :lol::lol::lol:

:D hee :D

Jan-it is phunny :P

elye Community Regular
My idea was to invite three people and then have each of them invite two people so that I wouldn't have to personally round up enough and I would also get a chance to meet/make some new friends. Ten seems to be a good number . . . we usually have 6 or 7 at any particular discussion.

Gaaaahhh. . . . . :blink: . ...Jyah-gnutt is waxing mathematical, er sumfin'. .. . ........

:lol:

mimommy Contributor
"Open Original Shared Link

"This act is not unlike dances performed by football players after a touchdown." --direct quote from above

Is this like slapping yer mates on the behind? What will they think of next?

i must be really old or somethin--i just don't unnerstand kids dese days :huh:

I wonder if there's a support group for catnip users. Mayhap would go somethin like this:

Buttercup: Ok pee-pull, let's call this meeting to order. Now, who would like to start?

Simon: Hi every-bodee, I'm Simon.

All: Hi Simon!

Simon: I've been nip-free for a long time now, but it was bad, man, reeeeaaalll bad once. I even stole from my mom. Followed her around stoned all day, beggin for food.

Buttercup: Thanks for sharing Simon. Who'd like to go next?

"Tom" cat: Hi, I'm 'Tom'--

Buttercup: It's ok 'Tom', you don't have to use your real name. We understand...

"Tom": Catnip makes me happee. I Like catnip. It's...mellowwww.

Buttercup: Oh-kay. Thanks, Tom. And who's your friend? It's so nice to see a new face.

Tess: Hi. My name is Tess.

All: Hi Tess!

Tess: I've been off the wackl-weed for almost 60 days

Buttercup: That's great Tess! Now, please take your seat. Tess. Tess! Sit down!

Tess: What's in these Pounce treats, anyway? I feel cra-zee. Iz there gluten in this stuff, or what?

Buttercup: Alrighty, then. Group, who would like to share next?

Allo: 'Ello, guys. Allo here.

All: 'Ello, Allo!

Allo: I've been struggling with the cat-caine for years. Had me first taste when I was just a wee lad. Me peeps thought it would be cute to let me play with it, like it was all just a big joke or sumfin'! Now, I can't even sleep unless I got it on me head.

Buttercup: Ok, Allo. That's why we're here. It works if you work it! Next? You there, the shy one in the corner listenin to Les mis on yer mp3...

Kit-Kit: Uh, hi guys. I'm Kit (sniggers from the group). But--you can call me Nigel!

All: Hi Nigel!

Kit-Kit: Uh, yeah, like, uh, I've never had catnip. Man you'se guys'r lucky.

Jestgar Rising Star
"This act is not unlike dances performed by football players after a touchdown." --direct quote from above

Is this like slapping yer mates on the behind? What will they think of next?

i must be really old or somethin--i just don't unnerstand kids dese days :huh:

I wonder if there's a support group for catnip users. Mayhap would go somethin like this:

Buttercup: Ok pee-pull, let's call this meeting to order. Now, who would like to start?

Simon: Hi every-bodee, I'm Simon.

All: Hi Simon!

Simon: I've been nip-free for a long time now, but it was bad, man, reeeeaaalll bad once. I even stole from my mom. Followed her around stoned all day, beggin for food.

Buttercup: Thanks for sharing Simon. Who'd like to go next?

"Tom" cat: Hi, I'm 'Tom'--

Buttercup: It's ok 'Tom', you don't have to use your real name. We understand...

"Tom": Catnip makes me happee. I Like catnip. It's...mellowwww.

Buttercup: Oh-kay. Thanks, Tom. And who's your friend? It's so nice to see a new face.

Tess: Hi. My name is Tess.

All: Hi Tess!

Tess: I've been off the wackl-weed for almost 60 days

Buttercup: That's great Tess! Now, please take your seat. Tess. Tess! Sit down!

Tess: What's in these Pounce treats, anyway? I feel cra-zee. Iz there gluten in this stuff, or what?

Buttercup: Alrighty, then. Group, who would like to share next?

Allo: 'Ello, guys. Allo here.

All: 'Ello, Allo!

Allo: I've been struggling with the cat-caine for years. Had me first taste when I was just a wee lad. Me peeps thought it would be cute to let me play with it, like it was all just a big joke or sumfin'! Now, I can't even sleep unless I got it on me head.

Buttercup: Ok, Allo. That's why we're here. It works if you work it! Next? You there, the shy one in the corner listenin to Les mis on yer mp3...

Kit-Kit: Uh, hi guys. I'm Kit (sniggers from the group). But--you can call me Nigel!

All: Hi Nigel!

Kit-Kit: Uh, yeah, like, uh, I've never had catnip. Man you'se guys'r lucky.

Lyle: Um, I'm Lyle, um and um, when the lady in the house shows me the tub, I, um stick my foot in and scoop out as much as I can.

and then I lay on it

and roll in it

and will do anything to protect my stash

and then I have the best nap

mimommy Contributor
Lyle: Um, I'm Lyle, um and um, when the lady in the house shows me the tub, I, um stick my foot in and scoop out as much as I can.

and then I lay on it

and roll in it

and will do anything to protect my stash

and then I have the best nap

Buttercup: Look, group, a late arrival! Hi Lyle, and welcome. Yes, I think many of us here have had the experience of being kept in the cycle of addiction by our co-dependent enabling two-leggeds. (restless angry sounds from the group) But, that's ok. We're secretly plotting to overthrow our oppressors by slowly draining their wallets with our ridiculous gourmet food demands.

Judyin Philly Enthusiast

Oh MY god Bev

You just made me lose it.......can't even see to type

I'll be taking me sillies with me. how sweet of you to take the time to write that :(:) you gave me this smile

contractor was so nice and think he'll be perfect

i'm so out of it didn't even look at his thumbs, was too busy looking at his 'BIG' HANDS and he's so tall and rugged like a mountian man

I'm sure he can handle it all .

couldn't even read anything after Bev's poem

will be back

Thanks Bev

As me sister says WE FEAR CHANGE :ph34r::ph34r:

I have to write a poem for Judith.

Judith's been working in the basement

All the live-long day.

She's been working in the basement

Just to pack her stuff away.

Don't you hear the wind blowing,

She had to rise up too early in the morn;

Don't you hear Jim shouting,

"Judith, pack me horns!"

Judith won't you pack,

Judith won't you pack,

Judith won't you pack Jim's porn horns?

Something's in the basement with Judith

Something's in the basement I know

Something's in the basement with Judith

making a dank wind blow.....................


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



DingoGirl Enthusiast

GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: x 5,000

Mimms-o's CAT ADDICTION TALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dear gawd - - phunniest thing EVER and no time to comment - must BE somewhere in 15 and am - not dressed and

no makeup and

PHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :huh:

more later

:lol:

:lol:

:lol:

loved Lyle's drunken comments also - he seems quite stoned though :lol:

elye Community Regular

:lol::lol: Good lord, Raee-chull's Cat-nippers anonymous. . . . . . ....

Big Tom: It's taken over my whole life, man... . . . ..I rarely groom myself when I'm on the stuff. . . . . .... .my purring sounds like sitar music.... . . ..I crap in that box, stare at it, and the thought of burying it in litter just strikes me as hilarious, so I just leave it...... .I leave it, man!!!

contractor was so nice and think he'll be perfect

i'm so out of it didn't even look at his thumbs, was too busy looking at his 'BIG' HANDS and he's so tall and rugged like a mountian man

I'm sure he can handle it all .

Joooodie! This sounds suspiciously like OUR YETI!! Has he finally reappeared, this time as a handyman on Joodie's doorstep??!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Anybody else find this ironic???? . . . Suezzle's THEME song is from . . .*gasp* . . . a musical!!!????!!!!

:ph34r:

:huh:

:unsure:

:lol:

Yes. It's true. There are THREE musicals (maybe more, not counting childhood) from which I have memorized all songs. Well, 80 percent of songs. Les Mis is my fave book of my whole life, and not the condensed one, pholks, the really long one. Read it back when I had an attention span, in me twenties. :wacko:

I'll never forget when I got to the ending, at 3 am........walked downstairs sobbing, and me mum was up still (I come by my insomnia honestly, and on both sides, you know). Sobbing and sobbing, she was so alarmed.....and I told her the story of Jean Valjean and Fantine and Cosette and Marius. :wub:

So yeah, I did see the musical in SF, was so bored I wanted to stab myself with a butter knife.....but sat through the entire three hours. Knowing. Every. Word. And. Still. Bored.

You just can NAE fit a 1200-word novel into a three-hour play. Crikey.

:huh:

much, much more later.........must quote Mimmsy's entire Wackl Stoned Cat Capers post :lol:

(did you SEE that she had Kit AND Nigel in there? :lol: :lol: :lol: )

and put up the recipe sometime soon for Janie's Chocolate Pig Pie

:lol:

:lol:

:lol:

HI JUDITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) did they let you out of the basement??????????? :P

nikki-uk Enthusiast
:lol:

I AM SUSAN BOYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:

AYe!!!, I've had ma suspicions for some time now......the hatred of all things musical?? :unsure: (A COVER!!!)........the difficulty with the taming of the hair!! (on head AND eyebrows), .....,'nearly 48...never been married'

When I saw it this Saturday I KNEW!!!!!......she's a canny lass our Sooze ......( I think Simon :wub: 's her)

MIMI's catnip poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:

MOST EXCELLENT!!! (BTW...catnip has virtually NO effect on ma kitties :unsure: ....I'm sure they got the 'antedote' at the vets :lol: )

JUDITH's released from the basement and the builder's got BIG hands???

:lol:

OK see-leighs......am off on a countryside jaunt today to meet my friend who moved out there (HA! ..when you live in London anywhere that ISN'T London is 'the countryside' ....but this REALLY is a tiny village!!!)

She has BOUGHT A HORSE :huh:

I am askeert .... :unsure: hold me... .....also allergic (taking goggles and a nose peg ;) )

Hope everyone has a PHUNKY DAY!!!!!! :D

elye Community Regular

Mornin', Peeps!

Dear gawd, this morning my inbox was full of messages - - FIVE of them from completely disassociated people, with the SOOOOOOZLE BOYLE youtube attachment in place. :huh::rolleyes:

AYe!!!, I've had ma suspicions for some time now......the hatred of all things musical?? :unsure: (A COVER!!!)........the difficulty with the taming of the hair!! (on head AND eyebrows), .....,'nearly 48...never been married'

Like you, Nik, I was convinced after I'd seen the clip a couple of times that it was our Clovis Sooooze. Looking back, how obvious! How could we have not immediately known?? Same age, Les Mis obsession, flyaway hair, never married, quite erudite, brimming with emotion, looking like an individual who hadn't slept properly in some nights . . .... .. .....

Nik!! You must flood their phone lines with votes for our Sooooze! She is poised to win Britain's Got Talent!!

A PSILLY HITTING THE BIG TIME! GOING ON WORLD TOURS!

:lol:

flourgirl Apprentice

Mornin Psills! I just luv visiting Psillyville.....youse guys make my day! :D I really enjoyed the Suszle Boil video.....intend to pass that one on. So so nice to see someone who is not a Twiggy twin/ makeup Qween getting a chance at fame-dom!!!!!

OMG!!! We had a freeze here last night :o My poor tropical plants.....and many new perennials with very tender new growth are on my deck; getting acclimated to outside temps, getting ready to be planted or set in the gardens for summer. The forcast was for 40! HOW could they lie to me and let my plants get frosted!!! Hopefully they were wet enough (2 days of rain) to not get burned. Oh, the horror of it!!! Possible pots of wilted spinach!!! The weather is being very strange this year. Temps up and down like a see-saw. I want to start the veggie garden....but I'm tooo askeert to.

Lov the Kittay Nip-anonymous group!

Hang in there Juuude! Hope you don't find any monsters in your dungeon cellar! :lol: Selph imposed torture is bad enough.

Hope all is well in Psillyville.

jerseyangel Proficient

Mornin' sillies B)

Jeeze, I got nuttin.....Allo is settling in and fer the last 2 nights he has thankfully not started to whine at 3AM, so I'm drunk wif sleep :lol: Either too little, or too much.... :huh:

Hope everyone is having a great start to yer Thursday :D Judith, upstairs, Nik wif her nose plug :P , Teer-essa and her poor chilled plants......

Jestgar Rising Star
Open Original Shared Link

Even better!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Sillies!

Must announce the arrival of my neice this morning--just about an hour ago. My sister Tammy gave birth to her 2nd little girl. She was 8lb 4 ounces. Much bigger than Silvia. They have not given us her name yet. Last I was aware her name was Margherita. He is Italian and it is his mothers name. They were undecided by that, Victoria or Kiara.

Jestgar Rising Star
Sillies!

Must announce the arrival of my neice this morning--just about an hour ago. My sister Tammy gave birth to her 2nd little girl. She was 8lb 4 ounces. Much bigger than Silvia. They have not given us her name yet. Last I was aware her name was Margherita. He is Italian and it is his mothers name. They were undecided by that, Victoria or Kiara.

YAYYAA!!!!!!!!

elye Community Regular

CONGRATS, AUNTIE AMANDA!!!!!!! :):)

Even better!

:lol::lol::lol: OMG!!!!!

Um, you guys. . . .. . . . . . ...have another look at that clip.

Stavros Flatly. . . .. . ......

Does he look a little......familiar?. . . . . ...

Holy crap. It's POeter.

I just KNOW it. I've met POeter, and that is HIM. Hiding beneath a bald cap, then a blonde wig, wearing those tight dancing shorts.....and I am certain when we had lunch with POeter in the fall, I caught a glimpse of some intricate tattoo work on his arm. . . ..

And the way he moved.....taking his seat in the restaurant, walking out to the parking lot - - it was like I was watching a Riverdance afficionado, holding things back.

Now the boy. . . . .......kinda seems a little like The Ripper.. . . ..

:huh:

:lol:

:lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
Sillies!

Must announce the arrival of my neice this morning

Congratulations, Aunt Amanda!! :D Welcome to the new lil' one!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Here's what I got

Margherita

8lb 5 ounces

19 1/2 inches

nikki-uk Enthusiast
Even better!

These guys cracked me up :lol::lol:

CONGRATS TO AMANDA!!!!!!!! (and your sister!!!!!!!!!)

I'm BAAAAACKKKK from the open rolling fields and horsey peeps ;) ....... dear GAWD!! :o .......... canNOT even attempt to hazard a guess at the sheer bloody heart stopping calorific value of our pub lunch today :lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Tess: What's in these Pounce treats, anyway? I feel cra-zee. Iz there gluten in this stuff, or what?

Buttercup: Alrighty, then. Group, who would like to share next?

Allo: 'Ello, guys. Allo here.

All: 'Ello, Allo!

Allo: I've been struggling with the cat-caine for years. Had me first taste when I was just a wee lad. Me peeps thought it would be cute to let me play with it, like it was all just a big joke or sumfin'! Now, I can't even sleep unless I got it on me head.

Buttercup: Ok, Allo. That's why we're here. It works if you work it! Next? You there, the shy one in the corner listenin to Les mis on yer mp3...

Kit-Kit: Uh, hi guys. I'm Kit (sniggers from the group). But--you can call me Nigel!

All: Hi Nigel!

Kit-Kit: Uh, yeah, like, uh, I've never had catnip. Man you'se guys'r lucky.

all right.......just had to quote some things that particularly delighted me.....

:lol: :lol:

note that Allo seems to be speaking in a - Scottish? accent? er sumphin? :lol:

and look at Kit/Nigel's comments :lol:

this just tickles me to no end *snoooooooooort*

AYe!!!, I've had ma suspicions for some time now......the hatred of all things musical?? (A COVER!!!)........the difficulty with the taming of the hair!! (on head AND eyebrows), .....,'nearly 48...never been married'

When I saw it this Saturday I KNEW!!!!!......she's a canny lass our Sooze ......( I think Simon :wub: 's her)

:lol: :lol: Yes! "TIS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

and notice that I didn't bother to dye my grEy roots before the show - - just didn't care- and me blowdryer went on the fritz......and I forgot to pluck me brows..........

but 'TIS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol:

Like you, Nik, I was convinced after I'd seen the clip a couple of times that it was our Clovis Sooooze. Looking back, how obvious! How could we have not immediately known?? Same age, Les Mis obsession, flyaway hair, never married, quite erudite, brimming with emotion, looking like an individual who hadn't slept properly in some nights . . .... .. .....

Nik!! You must flood their phone lines with votes for our Sooooze! She is poised to win Britain's Got Talent!!

A PSILLY HITTING THE BIG TIME! GOING ON WORLD TOURS!

Yes - insomniatic, frazzle-headed spinstress out of Clovis, CA :lol: :lol:

OMG!!! We had a freeze here last night My poor tropical plants.....and many new perennials with very tender new growth are on my deck; getting acclimated to outside temps, getting ready to be planted or set in the gardens for summer. The forcast was for 40! HOW could they lie to me and let my plants get frosted!!! Hopefully they were wet enough (2 days of rain) to not get burned. Oh, the horror of it!!! Possible pots of wilted spinach!!! The weather is being very strange this year. Temps up and down like a see-saw. I want to start the veggie garden....but I'm tooo askeert to.

Oh Tea! I hope yer plants will be okay!

Even better!

oh dear gawddddd :lol: that WOZ funny

Um, you guys. . . .. . . . . . ...have another look at that clip.

Stavros Flatly. . . .. . ......

Does he look a little......familiar?. . . . . ...

Holy crap. It's POeter.

I just KNOW it. I've met POeter, and that is HIM. Hiding beneath a bald cap, then a blonde wig, wearing those tight dancing shorts.....and I am certain when we had lunch with POeter in the fall, I caught a glimpse of some intricate tattoo work on his arm. . . ..

And the way he moved.....taking his seat in the restaurant, walking out to the parking lot - - it was like I was watching a Riverdance afficionado, holding things back.

Now the boy. . . . .......kinda seems a little like The Ripper.. . . ..

Yes, THREE SILLIES are in Britain's got talent!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

CONGRATS to Amanda!!!!!!!!!! :)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
I'm BAAAAACKKKK from the open rolling fields and horsey peeps ;) ....... dear GAWD!! :o .......... canNOT even attempt to hazard a guess at the sheer bloody heart stopping calorific value of our pub lunch today :lol:

Oh!! Nikki's Day Out!!! Posh, calorific lunch at a country pub - NEEEEEEEEEAAARRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to go!!!! :rolleyes:

Next time, call me, okay? :P

sillies - - I had this startling thought about how much more I"d actually get done in life if I had no computer

:o

:ph34r:

Darn210 Enthusiast

Congrats Amanda!!! (and to yer sister, too)

JoDog's out of surgery . . . she gets to come home tomorrow . . . poor girl :( The worst part is that she has to be confined or on lead for the next six weeks!!! They told me that when I picked her up tomorrow, I would have the option of picking up a sedative (doggie valium?) to keep her from getting overly excited. I told them that I don't need to think about it, I definitely wanted it!!!

Warm and sunny here . . . heading out side to rip out some old/overgrown landscaping. Haven't decided what to put in instead, just know certain areas are going to be majorly overhauled. I got a quote for some bushes to be removed and replaced wif sumptin differnt (ummmm . . . just because I don't like them) but that's on hold. We've got a bunch of pines at the back of our property. There were two struggling/diseased austrian pines that we took out last year and now it looks like we might lose a white pine. Now waiting to see if it "goes" . . . then small landscaping budget will be used on dead tree removal and replacement with two good sized trees. We wouldn't want our neighbors to be able to look into our yard and see that we haven't mowed the grass all the fun we're having!!

Mtndog Collaborator

I have a new poem for all you working folk:

'I cannot go to work today, '

Said Jestgar, Em and blueeyemanada-may.

'The Twas won't clean my house ,

And my kitties left a big bad mouse.

Plus my head it hurts, my throat is dry,

A margarita would be better, sigh.

My husband had gall-bladder rocks,

My cats are high and the ferries won't dock.

And there's one more reason-that's almost nine,

And don't you think a mental health day would be just phine?

Jess's leg is cut-Amanda's eyes are blue-

And Susie has absinthian flu.

Poor Leesa needs tosleep and dream,

And Jianknit's ankle-biters make her want to scream.

I'm sure I missed you other working folk (Pieter, Susie not to mention all you MOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but I'll get ya next time. I need to start writing more anyway- you know cause it'll help me when I teach :P :P

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,857
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    LowellFrancis
    Newest Member
    LowellFrancis
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Rogol72
      Some interesting articles regarding the use of Zinc Carnosine to help heal gastric ulcers, gastritis and intestinal permeability. I would consult a medical professional about it's use. https://www.nature.com/articles/ncpgasthep0778 https://www.rupahealth.com/post/clinical-applications-of-zinc-carnosine---evidence-review https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7146259/ https://www.fallbrookmedicalcenter.com/zinc-l-carnosine-benefits-dosage-and-safety/
    • Jillian83
      He is. Which makes everything even more difficult. I’m not a believer in “staying for the kids” but I have nowhere to go and it’s not just me, it’s me plus my babies. We live in a beautiful place, lots of land in the country and me and the kids love the place we’ve called home for their entire lives. But Im seeing that he’ll never change, that my kids deserve a happy healthy Momma, and that staying in this as is will be the early death of me. Then I look at the scars covering my entire body…this disease and the chronic stress I’ve been enduring for years that tell me I’m no longer beautiful and no one will ever look at me with interest again. I try self care, try to give myself grace so I can just start loving myself enough to gain strength but the slightest sparkle in my eye and skip in my step attracts his wrath and it all comes crashing ten fold. Life is just absolutely railing me from every single direction leaving me wanting to wave that white flag bc I don’t feel like there’s much hope no matter what happens. 
    • trents
    • Jillian83
      Hi, I was recently diagnosed with Celiac and dermatitis herpetiformis after years of suffering without answers. I lost my mind. I lost my job. I lost so much time. I lost Me. Conventional doctors are opulent come near me and the one who did sat across the room, misdiagnosed me, pumped me full of steroids which collapsed my entire hip for 6 months. So without answers I began my holistic journey. Fast forward a couple of years and still struggling with a mysterious whole body itchy, crawling “skin hell”, perfect teeth now deteriorating, thick hair now thinning rapidly and no more than a day or 2 at most relief….An acquaintance opened up a functional medicine practice. Cash only, I found a way. Within a month tests clearly showing my off the charts gluten allergy/sensitivity as well as the depletion of vital nutrients due to leaky gut and intestinal damage. dermatitis herpetiformis was more than likely what I was experiencing with my skin. I was happy. I thought this is easy, eat healthy Whole Foods, follow the diet restrictions and I finally get to heal and feel confident and like myself again very soon! 😔 Supplements are very pricey but I got them and began my healing. Which leads to the other major issue: not working, stay at home Mom of young kids, entirely financially dependent on my man of 7 plus years. He’s never been supportive of anything I’ve ever done or been thru. He controls everything. I’m not given much money ever at a time and when he does leave money it’s only enough to possibly get gas. His excuse is that I’ll spend it on other things. So my “allowance” is inconsistent and has conditions. He withholds money from me as punishment for anything he wants. Since being diagnosed, he’s gained a new control tactic to use as punishment. He now is in control of when I get to eat. He asked for proof of my diagnosis and diet bc he said I made it up just to be able to eat expensive organic foods. Then after I sent him my file from my doctor he then said she wasn’t a real doctor. 😡. I go days upon days starving, sometimes breaking down and eating things I shouldn’t bc I’m so sick then I pay horribly while he gets annoyed and angry bc I’m not keeping up with all the duties I’m supposed to be doing. His abuse turns full on when I’m down and it’s in these desperate times when I need his support and care the most that I’m punished with silence, being starved, ignored, belittled. He will create more of a mess just bc I’m unable to get up and clean so that when I am better, I’m so overwhelmed with chores to catch up that the stress causes me to go right back into a flare from hell and the cycle repeats. I’m punished for being sick. I’m belittled for starving and asking for healthy clean water. I’m purposely left out of his life. He won’t even tell me he’s going to the grocery or to get dinner bc he doesn’t want me to ask him for anything. I have no one. I have nothing. Im not better. My supplements ran out and I desperately need Vitamin D3 and a methylated B complex at the very minimal just to function….he stares at me blankly…no, a slight smirk, no words. He’s happiest when im miserable and I am miserable.  this is so long and im condensing as much as I can but this situation is so complicated and disgusting. And it’s currently my life. The “IT” girl, the healthy, beautiful, perfect skin, perfect teeth, thick and curly locks for days, creative and talented IT girl….now I won’t even leave this house bc Im ashamed of what this has dont to my body, my skin. Im disgusted. The stress is keeping me from healing and I think he knows that and that’s why he continues to keep me in that state. He doesn’t want me confident or successful. He doesn’t want me healed and healthy bc then how would he put the blame of all his problems on me? This journey has been hell and I’ve been in Hell before. I’ve been killed by an ex, I’ve been raped, robbed, held hostage, abused beyond nightmares but the cruelty I’ve experienced from him bc of this disease is the coldest I’ve ever experienced. I’ve wanted to give up. Starving and in tears, desperate…I found a local food pantry in our small town so I reached out just saying I had Celiac and was on hard times. This woman is blessing me daily with prepared gluten free meals, donations, educational info, people who know this disease and how they manage life and the blessings just keep coming. But it’s overwhelming and I feel like I don’t deserve it at all. He just glared and I know he’s going to sabotage it somehow. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m so broken and just want peace and healing. 
    • cristiana
      @Colleen H   I am just curious,  when you were tested for coeliac disease, did the doctors find out if you had any deficiencies? Sometimes muscle pain can be caused by certain deficiencies, for example, magnesium, vitamin D, calcium, and potassium.   Might be worth looking into having some more tests.  Pins and needles can be neuropathy, again caused by deficiencies, such as iron and B12,  which can be reversed if these deficiencies are addressed. In the UK where I live we are usually only tested for iron, B12 and vitamin D deficiencies at diagnosis.   I was very iron anemic and supplementation made a big difference.  B12 was low normal, but in other countries the UK's low normal would be considered a deficiency.  My vitamin D was low normal, and I've been supplementing ever since (when I remember to take it!) My pins and needles definitely started to improve when my known deficiencies were addressed.  My nutritionist also gave me a broad spectrum supplement which really helped, because I suspect I wasn't just deficient in what I mention above but in many other vitamins and minerals.  But a word of warning, don't take iron unless blood tests reveal you actually need it, and if you are taking it your levels must be regularly monitored because too much can make you ill.  (And if you are currently taking iron, that might actually be making your stomach sore - it did mine, so my GP changed my iron supplementation to a gentler form, ferrous gluconate). Lastly, have you been trying to take anything to lessen the pain in your gut?  I get a sore stomach periodically, usually when I've had too much rich food, or when I have had to take an aspirin or certain antibiotics, or after glutening.  When this happens, I take for just a few days a small daily dose of OTC omeprazole.  I also follow a reflux or gastritis diet. There are lots online but the common denominators to these diets is you need to cut out caffeine, alcohol, rich, spicy, acidic food etc and eat small regularly spaced meals.   When I get a sore stomach, I also find it helpful to drink lots of water.  I also find hot water with a few slices of ginger very soothing to sip, or camomile tea.  A wedge pillow at night is good for reflux. Also,  best not to eat a meal 2-3 hours before going to bed. If the stomach pain is getting worse, though, it would be wise to see the doctor again. I hope some of this helps. Cristiana    
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.