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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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blueeyedmanda Community Regular

I have the most unphunny rash forming on me arm. I went out to the car just now to give my coworker some blinds that we are ridding our house of. I am outside a whole 10 minutes....and my arm was itching and it is rashy now! Ugly!

1 more hour till freedom!


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DingoGirl Enthusiast

SILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

:wacko:

had one hour of shut-eye and am still feeling the wackl, and completely delirious

:lol:

I see the mirth has been carried on valiantly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again, SO much like the action goin' on at the retirement home.... .. I actually think there is a Lucy Baines living there, who drools and has climbed on top of departing cars.. . . . .....

:lol: the poor old gal.....I think our Lucy cat lived until she was 17 or so - fully bonkers and skinny and quite tattered in the end - a veritable Grisabella from T.S. Eliot :wub:

Dear gawd.....you are all a rather simian bunch, aren't ya??

Yes, and hirsute, too :lol:

would like to have my whole body lasered <_<

WHAAAAT????

and

WHY?????

...and why Brandy?

Brandy in me hot milk, you Silly Bundt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: helps me to sleep.

One can ne'er have too many words for the male anatomy.

It's funny to me to read all of those words in that dictionary, it feels like I'm in the 'way-back' machine. Suddenly I'm 5 years old, listening to my granny tell me to 'make pischy' in the bathroom at Kresge.

Good times...good times

My mum's phamilee were some pretty intense people. Long suffering, to be sure. So much guilt, so little time.

Hmmm...that's what my husband says, every time I take off me clothes

Sadly, I was forced to surrender my IBTC member card at age 17 1/2, whenst the TT fairy paid me a surprise visit and me blossoms near exploded out me wardrobe. She brought along her friend, the chin hair fairy

As if I could Suze, dear, your mirth tis quite ribald wifout me :wub:

In my world, the shaving ritual is known as "Trimming the Bush"

I'm all like :lol: :lol: x 100 from Mimmsy's post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She got EXPLODING BLOSSOMS?????????????????? :angry: I'm still waitin.

I had a vestigal visit from her, as well....... . . ...she does toes, too, part-time. . . . ...

*snooooooort* Yup, got the hair on the big toe, also. Um, I SHAVE MY ARMS. That's right. I have as much arm hair as a man........started bleaching it in around 6th grade (Jolen Cream Bleach, eh girls?) and then..........over a decade ago, just started shaving them daily.

:o

isn't that CRAZY??????????

bloody heinous is what it is. <_<

Then we can all larf at his widdle-pee-nee (johnson, jack hammer, shwans, meat, loaf, trouser trout, pearl diver, little man, jock, manhood)

Hope Suze is gettin' some shut eye

"Aw man, why'd you let her nap so late? Now she'll never get to sleep tonight! I guess I'll just have to put some brandy in 'er milk again."

love the weenis names, esp. TROUSER TROUT and another fave, ONE-EYED SNAKE :lol:

Mimms, yer daughter has a cold? awwwwwwww.........well, you get to stay home this weekend then! Hope she feels better.

got one hour of shut-eye, it did help a bit. Now must head out on errands. Foraging for brandy food and supplies, and a lock for my back gate. Did I tell you guys the incident last weekend with teh gardener??????????? :unsure: I am really in a very awkward situation here, pholks, adn do nae know what to do, so temporary solution is to lock him out of my back yard. :huh:

Crikey, is THAT the man for me? Is that who God has for me? My five-foot-two, non-English speaking gardener?????????????????? I was too nice to him, and he has fallen in love. Remember, the flowers in the soda can, and the strawberries? His love offerings? and telling me that he wants to be my novio?

Last week he started crying when I TRIED to tell him (in my very primitive Spanish) that he can't come into my back yard unless I invite him.

THAT is what I get. <_<

:blink:

Will any NORMAL man ever like me? Ever?

HARRUMPHHHFFFFFFFFFFF

Poor Weez, no walk from her slovenly white trash mommy today......we are just going to lay around until mommy's head stops spinning from fatigue. *snort*

WHERE IS GIA-KNIT??????????????????????? Is she sorting her tatt??????

Oh, wish we could help.........can you imagine, all the sillies commandeering her yard sale????? Absinthian toasts and full ribaldry :snort:

and maybe we can find that court jester with the soiled velvet robe and battered sepulchre to join us.............where is he????????

:lol: :lol:

Padt - what IS goign on down there in Texas???????????????????

Amanda - some kind of evil rash????? Stay inside, by all means.

Oh Sills - - going to be mid-70's here for a few days - - the EVIL SUMMER has been staved off for a while more................ :happydance:

elye Community Regular

Gad...just got back from Jack's science fair at his school. My face was completely :huh: the entire time I stood looking at these displays on barometric pressure, black holes, magnetic fields, listening to these li'l Einsteins trying to take me through their presentations, nice and slowly. . . . . ......

....and now I hear that Soooozle shaves her arms.

:huh:

:lol:

And a wee Mexican man has fallen in love with you! :lol:

mimommy Contributor
Around here, we calls em a weenis :P

Weenis :lol: <<snicker>>

mimommy Contributor

Hey!!! Something wrong w/ my quotes. A bunch got dumped when I added a reply?!

Anyhoo...

T.S. Eliot :wub:

She got EXPLODING BLOSSOMS?????????????????? :angry: I'm still waitin.

Jolen Cream Bleach, eh girls

ONE-EYED SNAKE

well, you get to stay home this weekend then!

Last week he started crying when I TRIED to tell him (in my very primitive Spanish) that he can't come into my back yard unless I invite him.

:wub: Alfred J. Prufrock (sp?)

Yes, me bosoms blossom. Big, gigantic, watermelon blossoms :( Hate 'em!!

Jolen and I are well acquainted ;)

OMG--One-Eyed Snake!! I forgot that one :lol::lol:

Nope, no stayin' home. I'll bee workin' tomorrow. Grocery shopping/cooking Sunday. (Did somebody say 'long suffering'?)

Try this for yer little man gardener:

"Por favor, permanezca fuera de mi jardin. No mas flores en latas. Pulgares son demasiado pequenas."

translation:

"Please, stay out of my garden. No more flowers in cans. Your thumbs are too small."

nikki-uk Enthusiast
Oracle POeter as Zorro. .. . ....!

I think we ALL know that POeter is quite the swashbuckler (eh Jacquie??) ;)

And on his way into surgery! :lol: Thinking many good thoughts fer dad today, Em :)

Fingers crossed for your Dad Em!!

Raechull, you need to put him into a search on facebook. See if his profile comes up, and check out his photo. Hopefully it's a full frontal shot, and you'll likely see a tiiiiiiiiiiny piddle-me-ree................

:lol:

:lol: ...an excellent plan!!........ I must try!!!

I have 2 email accounts......one for spam ...and one I use :lol: , seriously, my original gets hundreds in one day (how do they get through the spam filter???? :unsure: )

"Aw man, why'd you let her nap so late? Now she'll never get to sleep tonight! I guess I'll just have to put some brandy in 'er milk again." :blink:

:lol:

Mimi cracking me up!!....also the exploding bosoms with chin hair :lol:

I'm afraid chin hair fairy turned up but NAE big boobies <_<

Around here, we calls em a weenis :P

Todger !!

Did I tell you guys the incident last weekend with teh gardener??????????? :unsure: I am really in a very awkward situation here, pholks, adn do nae know what to do, so temporary solution is to lock him out of my back yard. :

WHAAAAT??????? :huh:

, is THAT the man for me? Is that who God has for me? My five-foot-two, non-English speaking gardener?????????????????? I was too nice to him, and he has fallen in love. Remember, the flowers in the soda can, and the strawberries? His love offerings? and telling me that he wants to be my novio?

Last week he started crying when I TRIED to tell him (in my very primitive Spanish) that he can't come into my back yard unless I invite him.

WHAAAAT???????? :o

AYE CARUMBA!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't know about this!!!......oh no!, has the wee me-hi-can man mistook your friendliness as lurrrve??

Does he eat cheese???.......wear a sombrero?? :unsure:

I know so little :rolleyes:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
....and now I hear that Soooozle shaves her arms.

And a wee Mexican man has fallen in love with you! :lol:

ain't life grand <_<

also - when I went out the other night, I met a Tiny Cowboy......must have been five-foot-six, no more.

:blink: I gotta get out of this blasted town.........

Try this for yer little man gardener:

"Por favor, permanezca fuera de mi jardin. No mas flores en latas. Pulgares son demasiado pequenas."

translation:

"Please, stay out of my garden. No more flowers in cans. Your thumbs are too small."

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: OMG - absolutely brill *snigger*

WHAAAAT???????? :o

AYE CARUMBA!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't know about this!!!......oh no!, has the wee me-hi-can man mistook your friendliness as lurrrve??

Does he eat cheese???.......wear a sombrero?? :unsure:

I know so little

I don't know about teh cheese and sombreros - no, he doesn't wear one here - he just really doesn't speak any English, and I was wayyyyyyyyyy too nice to him, worked with him on many projects and communicated in broken spanish (VERY tedious) and YES, he mistook my friendliness as LURVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :blink:

I have to move :lol:


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jerseyangel Proficient

Sills,

Have I mentioned to ya'll about the dairy-o-rama I have going on over here? B):lol:

It all started wif the greek yogurt (yum) and then the splash of milk in me tea. Well, yesterday I had.......get ready fer it......vanilla ice cream!!!!! :o:D :D Regular ole' store bought ice cream (gluten status checked ;) )

Today, I graduated to half and half in me tea--and I've had no reactions yet! :D

So here's the thing--I went dairy free even before I knew about Celiac. I thought it would help wif me stomach probs. Anyway, the doc that did me phirst endo like 4 years ago told me to "begin the gluten-free and lactose free diet", and the crackpot, er Kinesiologist I saw also said I was "allergic" <_< ....so I phigured I should just stay away from it.

But, I keep having this nagging feeling that when you think about it, I had no real basis to be dairy free, and believe it or not, I've never tested it out-- and since I really missed it after like 5 years, I decided to give it a try. Sorry fer the long, boring story...... :ph34r:

Next up, cheese!!! :D I pheel so empowered!!!

If I suddenly disappear, you can assume the other shoe has dropped and the whole thing backfired! :lol:

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Dad is having major surgery through his back :blink: to get at a big cluster of kidney stones that they cannot access laproscopically.

OMG.......wheeled him into the pre-op waiting area this am, and many other seniors were sitting there, waiting also. One lady suddenly says, "Gasp!. . .......Les! I saw you and your wife on the news yesterday!" and the man beside her said, "YES! Happy anniversary to you both!" and the lady beside my mom piped in, "Sixty years!" And on it went, all these nurses suddenly crowding in, saying they had seen them both. . . .... :lol: Unbelievable that so many arbitrary people watch these local newscasts....... .

So, I left to go park, my dad telling everyone how the 60th wedding anniversary is traditionally Diamond. I hear him say, "So, I thought, jeez, I should get her the gift of a lifetime. So I bought her thirteen diamonds. I bought her a deck of cards".......

this is truly amazing.

hope the surgery is over and he is doing great

what a sense of humor his has.

hi buddies

been on the porch again today.

pretty day out just wish the 'quivers' would stop.

too much else to comment on.....sorry buds

jerseyangel Proficient
hope the surgery is over and he is doing great

I know--hoping it's over and Em's dad is resting comfortably :)

Sorry bout the continuing quivers, Judith :(

Mtndog Collaborator

Bunnie- Have phun at the cape! (insertgreenjealousface) I wanna know where you go, what you do (and how many small children you scare) :lol:

Nikki said cod piece :lol: SODA WITH GLUTEN- BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And poopy cow on the washing machine!

Judee- Your posts :lol:x25..........stay OFF the weed!!!!!! Dude...........

Lisa- I am SO on your IBTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gianknit- Can I has the doggie drugs? Maybe I'll get me phunny back!

Suze- Your insomnia has made you over the moon phunny........get some rest!

All this talk of shaving.ahhh....it's going to be in the 80's this weekend. My legs are very very very :ph34r: :ph34r:

Em- Poopy cow on yer dad's stones :(

The chin hair faerie :lol: :lol: If you all only knew how hairy I am, you'd think *I* was the yeti! Well Piddle-Me-Ree, I'm so darn hairy :lol:

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) for our wee beautiful Allo!

OH gawd.TROUSER TROUT got the first audible laff out of me all day I LOVE TROUSER TROUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh psillies- I have naught a psilly in me. Want to curl up in ball and cry. Went and bought flowers for future plating and they are all on my window sill looking beautiful but *noreaction*. I just feel so sad :( I hate April!!!!!!!!!!

jerseyangel Proficient
I LOVE TROUSER TROUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:unsure: Uh....good to know Bev.... :P

I know April is hard for you :( It's almost May and you'll soon start enjoying yer pretty phlowers :D

curlyfries Contributor
look sills, how delirious I am - how I spelled "rode" - - "road" I highlighted it in red and left it :snackl:

I'm so used to psilly pspelling, I didn't even notice! :rolleyes: ........was thinkin......Why the heck is it red???

Talkin about all the things left in Houston.....I've managed to find a couple of pounds...... <_<

Hey!!!!....you got me boobies stashed on you somewhere?

translation:

"Please, stay out of my garden. No more flowers in cans. Your thumbs are too small."

Awesome!!!! :lol:

Hmmmmm.....thought I quoted the an dats de twoof.........

In high school I played Edith Anne for the talent show. Me mum was preggers......an oopsie......and the dog was too.

So I wrote my script about knowing where babies come from :P

I had a giant sized chair, too...........must find picture

curlyfries Contributor

Forgot to mention..........just luuuurve Em's retirement home connections to psilly stories :lol::lol::lol:

........you should write a sit-com :P

jerseyangel Proficient
Hey!!!!....you got me boobies stashed on you somewhere?

I pocketed 'em when you wasn't looking :ph34r::lol:

And this is so true--Emmel should write a sitcom! :D

Jestgar Rising Star
Brandy in me hot milk, you Silly Bundt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thought this said 'Brandy me in hot milk'.

Dunno how you'd do that, but it sounds like something I'd like to try.

Alrighty. If any of youse was thinking that putting up insulation would be a fun project, let me disabuse of that idea right now. I am exhausted....itchy...my fingertips hurt...and I still need to put up more.

On the upside, I've probably put enough staples into that room to block spy satellites, so my sunroom options have opened up. :ph34r::):P

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Yeah--I'm a Texas-sized buffoon

:lol: phergot to comment on this earlier - cracked me up

:wub: Alfred J. Prufrock (sp?)

:blink: um..........shall I google this? who is dis man? does he have large thumbs and a sombrero??????????????????

Today, I graduated to half and half in me tea--and I've had no reactions yet!

Next up, cheese!!! I pheel so empowered!!!

If I suddenly disappear, you can assume the other shoe has dropped and the whole thing backfired!

Pad - T, am just THRILLED with this new dairy adventure you are on. I really think you will be okay - your villi are healed after all this time (WHOT???? an actual celiac topic covered on this thread? :lol: just keepin' it real, pholks)

I think it'll work :) Do you have a Trader Joe's nearby? Their Rainbow something-or-other vanilla ice cream is to die for!!!!!!!!!

hi buddies

been on the porch again today.

pretty day out just wish the 'quivers' would stop.

too much else to comment on.....sorry buds

Judith :( I will pray your quivers stop...........so sucky!!!!!!!!!!!!! How's the porch coming along? How's the packing?

ARE YOU GOING TO STOP IN CLOVIS FOR THE NIGHT TO STAY WITH ME ON YER WAY TO TEMECULA??????????????????

or at the very least, for a glass of cheap wine cup of tea??????????

Bunnie- Have phun at the cape! (insertgreenjealousface) I wanna know where you go, what you do (and how many small children you scare) :lol:

Nikki said cod piece SODA WITH GLUTEN- BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And poopy cow on the washing machine!

Judee- Your posts :lol:x25..........stay OFF the weed!!!!!! Dude...........

Lisa- I am SO on your IBTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gianknit- Can I has the doggie drugs? Maybe I'll get me phunny back!

Suze- Your insomnia has made you over the moon phunny........get some rest!

All this talk of shaving.ahhh....it's going to be in the 80's this weekend. My legs are very very very

Em- Poopy cow on yer dad's stones

The chin hair faerie If you all only knew how hairy I am, you'd think *I* was the yeti! Well Piddle-Me-Ree, I'm so darn hairy

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) for our wee beautiful Allo!

OH gawd.TROUSER TROUT got the first audible laff out of me all day I LOVE TROUSER TROUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh psillies- I have naught a psilly in me. Want to curl up in ball and cry. Went and bought flowers for future plating and they are all on my window sill looking beautiful but *noreaction*. I just feel so sad I hate April!!!!!!!!!!

I know you hate April....only a few days left, luv. :)

but - I DO protest - you have not lost ONE OUNCE of Psilly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yer whole post really delighted me and provided a GUFFAW :lol:

Love you, Bevel

Love surge for all me sills :wub:

as, I am alone again, on a Friday night, having turned down offers from men with tiny thumbs and who don't speak my language :huh:

Hmmmmm.....thought I quoted the an dats de twoof.........

In high school I played Edith Anne for the talent show. Me mum was preggers......an oopsie......and the dog was too.

So I wrote my script about knowing where babies come from

:blink:LEESARGH!!!!!!!! first of all, just love seeing you here

but...............the DOG was an OOPSIE?????? your mom had a DOG??????? I'll say taht was an oopsie :lol:

and yes, post the pic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EMMEL - how is your dad doing? surgery over by now........he will no doubt be harassing the nurses toute suite!!!!!!!!!!

Alrighty. If any of youse was thinking that putting up insulation would be a fun project, let me disabuse of that idea right now. I am exhausted....itchy...my fingertips hurt...and I still need to put up more.

On the upside, I've probably put enough staples into that room to block spy satellites, so my sunroom options have opened up.

:lol: x 50

but what in hell are you insulating? yer whole attic? walls? WOT????????? and......are you worried about the spy satellites? *snigger*

I am going to wrap my water heater in some bubble thingy I saw on Oprah.

Recently, I met a guy who thinks California is the WORST state he has ever lived in, and Californians are the WORST sort of people. :lol: x 500

I can't totally disagree. We are flakes. Kooks. Nuts.

Why am I thinking of this now? Oh...Geoss's insulation and........I was thinking about all the recycling I do. This guy is not a recycler. Thinks it's stupid.

Them's fightin' words around here. :lol:

My disposal is broken. Dirty water and leftover foodstuffs are floating in my sink and leaving a disgusting filth residue. :unsure: :gagface: makes me sick.......MUST buy one tomorrow....

I forgot everything else. Am drinking cheap red wine.

PSILLIES - come and play????????

DingoGirl Enthusiast

Mimms-y,

Alfred J Prufrock? :blink: (was that what it said?)

Is he a KAT from T.S. Elliot?

:)

:huh:

SILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am tipsy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but - - -I will NAE let my spelling lapse as Jess did last week............

:lol: :lol:

because, I'll only stay tipsy, and not get fully DRUNK

<_<

(but why not?)

well, for health and sanity purposes.

<arguing with self>

:lol:

mimommy Contributor

From:

The Lovesong of Alfred J. Prufrock By T.S. Elliot...

Do I dare

Disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse...

For I have known them all already, known them all:

Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;

I know the voices dying with a dying fall

Beneath the music from a farther room.

So how should I presume?...

I am no prophet

jerseyangel Proficient

Alas Suz--I'm home alone tonight, too....Mark out to dinner wif visiting bigwig.....I had cheese on me hamburger!! I'm absolutely over the moon and so gleephul to eat cheese again! :D I wanna come over and drink wine wif you :lol:

Watching HGTV (addicting) and just talked to Matt on the phone :D :D

I saw about half of Wife Swap :o :o that guy from Texas was a real pompus a$$, if you want my opinion.......anybody else catch it?

DingoGirl Enthusiast
From:

The Lovesong of Alfred J. Prufrock By T.S. Elliot...

Do I dare

Disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse...

For I have known them all already, known them all:

Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;

I know the voices dying with a dying fall

Beneath the music from a farther room.

So how should I presume?...

I am no prophet

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Alas Suz--I'm home alone tonight, too....Mark out to dinner wif visiting bigwig.....I had cheese on me hamburger!! I'm absolutely over the moon and so gleephul to eat cheese again! I wanna come over and drink wine wif you :lol:

GET ON OVER HERE PADT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :wub:

and ALL sills.........we'd have a blast!!!!!!!!!! House is but 1100 square feet but - a comfy bed, two comfy sofas, and lots of floor space. Two bathrooms.........but if we're eatin' the right food, who needs tons o' bathrooms!???????????????

and.............a CHEESEBURGER??????????? WOT? I haven't had a hamburger in 3.3 years. What in hell kinda bun are you using? :( I. Would. Cry. :huh:

Padt - I LOVE Wife Swap :lol: :lol:

such an absolute train wreck - - must turn it on in 1.5 hours

MIMMSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My grandfather's and great-grandfather's names were ALFRED..........

crap............

I think I have to name my Kitteh (whom I've had for four months)

Alfred :wub::wub:

Is that okay to do???????? after all this time????????

I am such an drunken Ass Hat :lol:

and...........I am wearing MANY stinky, stink-ass "cult" fragrances........... :lol:

I think my fragrance obsession is..............waning?

I stinketh :lol: :lol:

flourgirl Apprentice

Hey everybody!!! So busy laffing as I catch up....I don't dare try to quote and comment or I'd be typing for hours. Leeeezuh....so glad you're here! Hope you phind some good psilly psoon! :D

Bevel.....tho' I don't know the "I hate April" story.....sorry your pheelin so blue. I hated winter....all of it, and spring wasn't much better because it was generally so gloomy, cold, summer was so short. I wasn't so far from where you are. WV is better for me....tho' I long for tropical climes. I used to say that I should have been born a tropical plant!!!! :lol: Hope your doing better soon.

jerseyangel Proficient
What in hell kinda bun are you using?

Toast :P

flourgirl Apprentice

Pah-tay is having a dairy frenzy! Luv it! Sounds a lot like a kid who's been let loose in the candy store. Free-for-allllll! Go for it Pah-tay. Have some ice cream for me, too.

Mimmeo....thanks for sharing the poem. Was nice. The name Alfred ALWAYS brings to mind Alfred E. Newman....."what, me worry?" from Mad magazine. Go figger.

Nite all. Sleep well....that means you Psuessle. I have a niece who would say..."don't let the bed lights bark!" Hugs to all of youse!

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    • Wends
      Hi Dora77. “Questions I Need Help With” “1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks…” YES - you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for your mother. Trust she still knows how to take the best care of you in her own way. Mishaps and cross contamination may happen - will happen on occasion, in fact - that’s life. But for the bulk of it as long as you’re aware of cc and try to avoid it for the most part, don’t sweat the small stuff! See the gluten free diet as a process. Own the process, Do Not let the process own you! “2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage.” NO - this is OCD brain at its best! Hijacking your thoughts and justifying it because of the very real fear of gluten contamination. That’s OCD all over. Like a devil in the driving seat. Fears that are based on some kind of reality are hard to argue with. Boss it back! Recognise this for what it is. OCD using fear of gluten as its excuse to keep you entrapped. Own the OCD in this scenario, don’t let it own you. Normal cleanliness rules apply. Washing your hands before you handle food you’re putting in your mouth is fine. Washing after the gym is normal. Once daily cleansing wipe of your phone etc. Even if you did go rubbing your hands all over surfaces and licking them there might be a trace exposure to gluten possible. But I’m guessing you don’t usually do that sort of thing. Even if you inadvertently were to ingest trace gluten - it won’t be enough to do damage, no. It takes weeks to months of at least a few hundred milligrams of gliadin daily for the innate immune system followed by the adaptive immune system in coeliac disease to kick in and start producing antibodies and cause villous atrophy. “3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy?” Only biopsy, as the gold standard of diagnosis, can tell for certain if villi have recovered. Having said that video capsule etc. can give an indication of any inflammation. “4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust?” Assuming your employer provides all necessary PPE - appropriate mask and overalls etc. All you can do is take the precautions that are advised according to risk assessments and regulations of the relevant industry governing bodies? (I don’t know what this would be in the USA. Sorry. But there’s safety and governing regs in the UK for this sort of thing. Assuming it would be very similar over the pond in fairness). “5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.)” This comes down to personal threshold of gluten tolerance. People that are highly sensitive may need certified products. Especially those with dermatitis herpetiformis - the skin manifestation of gluten sensitivity. Listen to your body on this one. “6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?” This one is easy - when following a strict gluten free diet, avoid products that say May contain traces of gluten. But it does not have to be labelled gluten free. There are many foods naturally gluten free. Having said that, there is nuance and personal tolerance threshold. If you’re super sensitive “may contain gluten” labelling is a godsend. But this kind of labelling is more aimed at informing customers with type 1 food hypersensitivity/ allergy reactions. The company is basically legally covering themselves, because there may be a risk of cross contamination. Not to be confused that it means there is cross contamination. In addition to products being labelled gluten free. Many products that are labelled can still contain gluten by the way - in fact any processed products labelled gluten free can still contain the allowable level of gluten (up to 20 parts per million according to Codex). A study was done not too long ago that showed gluten free processed products such as cereals, breads, flours etc. can and some are in fact contaminated and have above the legal allowable amount of gluten in them. While most gluten free products are fine for most celiac patients and tolerated, highly sensitive patients fail to heal fully if relying on processed gluten free products. The trace gluten exposure adds up for someone eating a typical western diet of gluten free cereal for breakfast, gluten free sandwich for lunch, gluten free pasta or pizza for dinner for example day after day, week after week. This is why, at least in the beginning after diagnosis, the gluten free diet should be one of whole real food - food that does not require a label. Meats, oily fish, eggs, beans, natural gluten free complex carbohydrates and vegetables according to custom and taste. Limit fruit as fructose worsens leaky gut and has been hypothetically linked to increased OCD and ADHD - Professor Richard Johnson published study on this recently. “7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful?” NO and YES. What you listed as your current, limited diet is nutrient poor. Correct it as soon as possible for your own sake and future health! Ditto what others have replied regarding vitamin and minerals that are lacking in malabsorption syndromes like celiacs and need replenishing. Gluten free products are not fortified. You were likely healthier, dare I say it, on a gluten containing diet for this reason. Your brain , and gut for healing and maintenance, needs lots of nourishment from omega 3s, B complex vitamins, folate, B12, iron, selenium etc. Meats, fish, natural fats that come with, do not fear - the brain is made of fat. Limit sugar, seed oils, and high glycemic cereals and fruit like bananas unfortunately as they can cause blood sugar highs and lows that can worsen anxiety in some people. Refined carbohydrates should be limited for the same reason. Fructose and simple sugars in excess feed the unhealthy gut bugs that wreak havoc with anxiety disorders like OCD. White potatoes can be problematic for some, also. It can take six weeks of elimination to see improvements. Note, consult your physician regards insulin adjustment if you reduce carbohydrates in the diet. Dr Bernstein diabetes protocol has worked for thousands. Ketogenic and low carbohydrate diets for mental and neurological conditions have shown improvements. Limited studies have and are being conducted under metabolic psychology and nutritional psychology. In a good proportion of anxiety disorders, mental, and neurological conditions including dementias, the brain is lacking nutrition and usable energy, not a drug. Similar in many autoimmune conditions, including celiacs, the prevailing hypothesis is that gut inflammation and resultant permeability allowing exposure to antigens begets triggering the genetically susceptible immune system response. Modern lifestyle exposure, one of the biggest being the food we choose to eat plays a huge role. Avoid ultra processed products, high in seed oils, refined grains, and sugar. Not just gluten can cause a leaky gut. Fructose, alcohol, egg white lysozyme, emulsifiers, added gums, the list goes on. “8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if it’s gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean.” If in doubt have your own cutlery set, plate and dishes etc. for your sole use that you handwash yourself. Carry a camping fork/spoon set when out and about if needed. “9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.” That’s a classic OCD fear. Nothing to do with gluten as such. OCD brain is using gluten as the excuse here. I personally have the habit of using a cleansing wipe or dust cloth on my phone, nightly, that eases this sort of worry. For example a micro fibre dust cloth will do the trick, keep one on your nightstand? They are antibacterial as particles cling to the cloth. “10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers.”  NO. But again these OCD thoughts are hard to argue with. If in doubt, just a quick wipe with a cloth daily should suffice. Normal cleanliness practice. But if you don’t, or forget, don’t sweat the small stuff. “11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.” Better if it is gluten free, yes. “12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc.” Still safe if do not explicitly contain gluten grains / derivatives AND if within the use by and use within dates. “I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore.” Really hope these replies to your questions help. Just remember, in the midst of overwhelming thoughts and darkness under OCD clouded vision, the light and sunshine is always shining above. Take a moment or two when you are able in each day - even if it’s last thing at night - to meditate. Focus on something that you enjoy and appreciate. Or sit in a quiet space and try to relax and tune in to your higher self. Ask for guidance and soothing from your guardian angel. Over time it works but don’t worry if your brain is anxious. Eventually it will quieten down some. Try to focus on a real food, nutrient dense and naturally gluten free diet, this will help your anxiety and future health in the long run. Please eat real food - not cornflakes and sandwiches. Eat a steak, eggs or fish for example. Gluten exposures may happen, but don’t sweat it, dust yourself off so to speak, and carry on with a natural gluten free diet as best you can. Own your OCD don’t let it own you! Similarly, when it comes to a gluten free diet for celiac disease, own the process, don’t let it own you! You’re 18. That’s great. I’ve been managing OCD since childhood (in my 40s now. Many years of research, trial and error so to speak. Diet makes a difference. To quote Doc Brown to teenagers Marty and Jennifer, ‘ …your future hasn’t been written yet. No one’s has. It’s whatever you make it. So make it a good one.’
    • maryannlove
      Unfortunately not going to be able to let you know how Amneal is working because I still have almost 3 month supply of Mylan.  Had annual appointment with endocrinologist last week (though get scripts for blood work more often) and since was on my last refill, she sent new script to pharmacist.  Staying on my Mylan until it's gone.  (I tend to build up a supply because after trying a couple of endocrinologists for my Hashimotos, one finally got my thyroid regulated by my taking only six days a week instead of adjusting the strength which had me constantly up and down.  Will be forever grateful to her.  Apparently high percentage of folks with Celiac also have Hashimotos so all this relevant/helpful on Celiac.com.    
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