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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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jerseyangel Proficient

I recently reconnected wif an old friend from elementary school and me old neighborhood. We had not seen each other since we were maybe 13?

Her daughter has Celiac. It is amazing how much more we hear things like this as time goes on. Seems everyone knows someone with this......


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Jestgar Rising Star
Raechull! Your crispy socks, undies and jeans . ...... . the big question:

Would they blend?

:huh:

:lol:

:o :o :o We should write and suggest he try some of the gluten free breads you can buy! Bet those'll make some serious smoke.

mimommy Contributor
What does PMS really stand for?

You probably don't need hangers for yer shirts.....just stand 'em up in the closet.

In my case, PMS stands for:

Pheet Mighty Swollen

People May Suffer

Pants May Shrink

and

Personalbodilyharm Maycometoanyonefoolishenoughto Startwithme

And just the thought of opening my closet and seeing my clothes standing at attention like "OOOH, pick me, pick me" cracks me right up! :lol::lol:

Raechull! Your crispy socks, undies and jeans . ...... . the big question:

Would they blend?

Well now, I've heard of cotton/wool blend, but this is ridiculified :blink:

I recently reconnected wif an old friend from elementary school and me old neighborhood. We had not seen each other since we were maybe 13?

Her daughter has Celiac. It is amazing how much more we hear things like this as time goes on. Seems everyone knows someone with this......

Yes, that's true. Sad, but true.

It's all over but the cleanin'. The steak on the grill my husband cooked was the best thing prepared in this house today. Only managed to get a two-layer lasagne out of it--lost a few noodles in the shuffle. We'll eat that and the soup during the week, but the white chocolate chip cookie bars I made from Pamela's mix won't likely survive the night.

Time to scoop the bunny cage, change laundry

*note to self...FABRIC SOFTENER!!!

and change the sheets and take a shower and pass out from too much sugar in the cookies.

Good lord, I need a drink.

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
I recently reconnected wif an old friend from elementary school and me old neighborhood. We had not seen each other since we were maybe 13?

Her daughter has Celiac. It is amazing how much more we hear things like this as time goes on. Seems everyone knows someone with this......

Still working on the porch

didn't get the primer done yet.......oye

Patti...........would you believe the gal i know from HS who lives where we want to move...........was asking me about celiac as she thinks her granddaughter has it.

yes small world but also more awareness i'm sure helps.

elye Community Regular

Joooodie! Quick - - you must change the caption under your av to "Hispanic fire cracker vine". . .........

:rolleyes:

mimommy Contributor
Still working on the porch

didn't get the primer done yet.......oye

Judy, you must be tired, Love. Come, sit, have a drink with me.

Joooodie! Quick - - you must change the caption under your av to "Hispanic fire cracker vine". . .........

:rolleyes:

:o **snicker**

I've 'ad me shower. Made it a cool one to try to reduce the smelling swelling of my feets. Trying to get a comb thru me dred wet locks.

Seriously may indulge in a kahlua after my girl hits the sack ;) But, honestly would rather have a glass of...wine? :huh: What have you'se done to me?

My husband is all geared up to git-r-dun around here, but all I hear when he talks about it is "Blah, Blah, Blah--expensive. Blah, Blah, Blah--hard work."

elye Community Regular
My husband is all geared up to git-r-dun around here, but all I hear when he talks about it is "Blah, Blah, Blah--expensive. Blah, Blah, Blah--hard work."

Rayechull!... . . . .. Yer hubby's all ready to get 'ur done? Right there? Now? :huh:

But you're thinkin' that it's too much work?.. ..And expensive?. . .. .. . . ..

Girl, you need that kahlua. Let him pour you three or four glasses. . .. . . . ....

:lol:


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Jestgar Rising Star
My husband is all geared up to git-r-dun around here, but all I hear when he talks about it is "Blah, Blah, Blah--expensive. Blah, Blah, Blah--hard work."

<_< Even worse when that's all you hear yerself sayin'.

Went to the home store yesterday to get the rest of the insulation (which I finished today :self-satisfiedsigh:) Also went to the new petstore where I found grain free kitty food. :D

What I don't get, is why the grain free stuff also has to be ultra sh-shi. Like my cat cares if it's made from free range, organic ducks that have been hand fed and given nightly massage while listening to Mozart. Just give me the road kill stew, without wheat - cats'll love it just as much.

mimommy Contributor

Oh, yes...that's what I like. Mmmm--no, no--don't stop. So...creamy. So...silky. Oh. Oh my God.

I'm having a white russian. Care to join me?

elye Community Regular
Oh, yes...that's what I like. Mmmm--no, no--don't stop. So...creamy. So...silky. Oh. Oh my God.

I'm having a white russian. Care to join me?

You're having a WHITE RUSSIAN? Is his name Alexi? Ivan?

mimommy Contributor

His name is Anekcahap--Alexander. He is from da Ukraine. He calls me his little Hora (little foot).

DingoGirl Enthusiast

SILLIES!!!!!!!! :o

I am overtaken by insects and gross things...........

spent three hours pruning hedges today (so they can only call me the crazy cat/dog lady now but NOT the mad lady with the scary overgrown house).....disturbed a BEHEMOTH ants' nest........and the brown widow spiders are back........ :huh:

but worst of all - -

spied this SCARY BROWN MUD NEST in my garage......hornets or wasps......holes open........

what I don't know is - are they in there? are they gone? have they made their egress?

WHAT IN HELL DO I DO????????????????????????

:unsure:

am horrified. Will make an orange fuzzy tout sweet - -

be right back.............

******************************

I have procured the fuzzy. But, the oranges are coming to their end.

and I see that the mint is growing profusely now.

Which means, as you all know,

MOJITO SEASON

coming up.

;)

You've all seen this:

Open Original Shared Link

and I found this:

Open Original Shared Link

:lol: :lol: No, I had NOT seen that.........

um.........is it real? can you akshually buy that blender? :huh:

We should write and suggest he try some of the gluten free breads you can buy! Bet those'll make some serious smoke.

yes :lol:

In my case, PMS stands for:

Pheet Mighty Swollen

People May Suffer

Pants May Shrink

and

Personalbodilyharm Maycometoanyonefoolishenoughto Startwithme

It's all over but the cleanin'. The steak on the grill my husband cooked was the best thing prepared in this house today. Only managed to get a two-layer lasagne out of it--lost a few noodles in the shuffle. We'll eat that and the soup during the week, but the white chocolate chip cookie bars I made from Pamela's mix won't likely survive the night.

Time to scoop the bunny cage, change laundry

*note to self...FABRIC SOFTENER!!!

and change the sheets and take a shower and pass out from too much sugar in the cookies.

Good lord, I need a drink.

*snort*

Mimms is quite funny even in her Perty Miserable State :lol:

yes, you need some wine, you silly :lol: and then GET-'R DUNNNNNNNNNN

:lol:

Joooodie! Quick - - you must change the caption under your av to "Hispanic fire cracker vine". . .........

gahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

yes - I have really been pondering the "hispanic" label, whilst gardening today. I have come up with theories about its use.....but it's too long and boring to 'splain now. :lol:

I've 'ad me shower. Made it a cool one to try to reduce the smelling swelling of my feets. Trying to get a comb thru me dred wet locks.

Seriously may indulge in a kahlua after my girl hits the sack But, honestly would rather have a glass of...wine? What have you'se done to me?

My husband is all geared up to git-r-dun around here, but all I hear when he talks about it is "Blah, Blah, Blah--expensive. Blah, Blah, Blah--hard work."

Rayechull!... . . . .. Yer hubby's all ready to get 'ur done? Right there? Now?

But you're thinkin' that it's too much work?.. ..And expensive?. . .. .. . . ..

Girl, you need that kahlua. Let him pour you three or four glasses. . .. . . . ....

:lol: :lol:

Kahlua? scratch that. You've already had too much sugar from yer cookies, Ray-chull. Go for the wine. Trust us, we know.

Even worse when that's all you hear yerself sayin'.

Went to the home store yesterday to get the rest of the insulation (which I finished today :self-satisfiedsigh:) Also went to the new petstore where I found grain free kitty food.

What I don't get, is why the grain free stuff also has to be ultra sh-shi. Like my cat cares if it's made from free range, organic ducks that have been hand fed and given nightly massage while listening to Mozart. Just give me the road kill stew, without wheat - cats'll love it just as much.

road-kill without wheat, pseriously, Alfred Kit loves that.......we found some very posh canned cat food at the dollar store, fiddy cents each, with WHOLE pieces of chicken breast in it, very pure ingredients, really almost like people food.

Alfie turns his nose up at it, the little scalawag <_<

But Weezee loves it :)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Oh, yes...that's what I like. Mmmm--no, no--don't stop. So...creamy. So...silky. Oh. Oh my God.

I'm having a white russian. Care to join me?

His name is Anekcahap--Alexander. He is from da Ukraine. He calls me his little Hora (little foot).

:lol: :lol: :lol:

MIMMS!!!!!!! a White Russian? isn't that.........like......solid cream with summat in it?

I know they're really yummy but..........so rich you can only have one.

And a girl always wants more than just ONE. You little hora.

:lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast

:lol:

I see that Reigh-chull is squiggling down there. Probably sumfin in the cyrillic alfabet, methinks.

:lol:

mimommy Contributor

Oh s$#&skies. I made the mistake of leaving the relative purity of me office space here and walked by th tv where me hubba-hubba husband was watching the news. All talk about the UAW (current and retired) making concessions to Fiat. Oh mother of all that is holy in this world. Can you say ROBBER BARONS? Can you say OPPORTUNISTIC BASTICHES?

I shall venture out but once again to refill me widdle fu-fu drink.

But first...

SILLIES!!!!!!!! :o

but worst of all - -

spied this SCARY BROWN MUD NEST in my garage......hornets or wasps......holes open........

what I don't know is - are they in there? are they gone? have they made their egress?

WHAT IN HELL DO I DO????????????????????????

******************************

I have procured the fuzzy.

yes - I have really been pondering the "hispanic" label, whilst gardening today. I have come up with theories about its use.....but it's too long and boring to 'splain now. :lol:

Kahlua? scratch that.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

MIMMS!!!!!!! a White Russian? isn't that.........like......solid cream with summat in it?

I know they're really yummy but..........so rich you can only have one.

And a girl always wants more than just ONE. You little hora.

:lol:

What should you do? Me thinks you should call de guv'ner terminator exterminator.

What is the "fuzzy"? Is that like a fuzzy navel?

Cripes, I need to get out more.

Going to get a refill, then shall return post haste to the safe and loving arms of me sills.

psawyer Proficient

Jess needs grain-free kitty food. Here a few ideas for dry food:

Wellness CORE (50% protein from turkey, chicken, whitefish and salmon);

Merrick BG (Before Grain) (three single-protein formulas: chicken, tuna & salmon ~36% protein);

Taste of the Wild (42% protein from chicken, venison, salmon and ocean fish).

mimommy Contributor
Jess needs grain-free kitty food. Here a few ideas for dry food:

Wellness CORE (50% protein from turkey, chicken, whitefish and salmon);

Merrick BG (Before Grain) (three single-protein formulas: chicken, tuna & salmon ~36% protein);

Taste of the Wild (42% protein from chicken, venison, salmon and ocean fish).

Hey Peter--what do you know about Nutro brand? I have been feeding it to my dog with no probs, but hear rumours it makes some dogs sick.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Oh s$#&skies. I made the mistake of leaving the relative purity of me office space here and walked by th tv where me hubba-hubba husband was watching the news. All talk about the UAW (current and retired) making concessions to Fiat. Oh mother of all that is holy in this world. Can you say ROBBER BARONS? Can you say OPPORTUNISTIC BASTICHES?

I shall venture out but once again to refill me widdle fu-fu drink.

But first...

What should you do? Me thinks you should call de guv'ner terminator exterminator.

What is the "fuzzy"? Is that like a fuzzy navel?

Cripes, I need to get out more.

Going to get a refill, then shall return post haste to the safe and loving arms of me sills.

widdle fu-fu drink

:lol: :lol:

Nope, you don't need to get out more, Mimms. I made up the term Orange Fuzzy myself. Or, maybe a friend did? I think Fluffy named it. (and I named Fluffy :lol: )

I make screwdrivers, but I have this super-fantastic (and rather ancient) juicer - and it makes the orange juice turn out frothy.....so we call them Fuzzies. ;) I had a picture of them up in my av for a while.....may have to put it up again in recognition of the season coming to a close.

Mygawd, you haven't lived until you've had one of my Fuzzies, in peak orange season!

My friend the Wackl Miss G (Gail) had one, was truly doubting how a screwdriver could be so fabulous. A cynic was she, until she had one. ;)

She sucked it down. Silence after the fist few sips. Then, thrust her shaking hand at me (I am not making this up), and said, "my God......it's like the Kiss of God.....once you have it, you're never the same.......but you always need more and more........."

:lol: :lol:

No one can quite explain the magic of the Fuzzy........it just.....is. :lol:

All right.....I'm calling the Guv'nuh to kill my pests. First thing in the morning.

Jess needs grain-free kitty food. Here a few ideas for dry food:

Wellness CORE (50% protein from turkey, chicken, whitefish and salmon);

Merrick BG (Before Grain) (three single-protein formulas: chicken, tuna & salmon ~36% protein);

Taste of the Wild (42% protein from chicken, venison, salmon and ocean fish).

Love that we have a resident expert here! ;)

mimommy Contributor
Mygawd, you haven't lived until you've had one of my Fuzzies!

No one can quite explain the magic of the Fuzzy........it just.....is.

<<snicker>>

:lol::lol:

Strikes me as hilarious :lol:

Yes, me fuzzy is quite magical, too.

jerseyangel Proficient

OMGawd--you guys have upped the wackl considerably this evening!! :lol: Crackin me up, the bunch a youse.

Is it mojito season again? Time flies......

Minimom's PMS......Hispanic (I'm in Texas, remember ;) )......git er done :lol: :lol: :lol: Yer killin me!

Just watched Desperate Housewives.....reruns fer weeks, clip show last week and kinda blah tonight. <_< Won't elaborate since some of those who watch may not have seen it yet. B)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
<<snicker>>

:lol::lol:

Strikes me as hilarious :lol:

Yes, me fuzzy is quite magical, too.

:lol:

It IS hilarious. And then Gail tried to explain it to her friends in court.....they all sneered....

"it's just orange juice and cheap vodka, how can it be so freaking incredible??" was their joust.

She done told them, though. :lol:

I want to know what is in that widdle phuzzy drink you are drinkin, Mimms ;)

It makes me fat and bloated, just thinking about it the White Russian :lol:

Could use one around here with big thumbs, though

:lol:

OMG I HAD a Russian boyfriend in Monterey!!!!!!!!! I SERIOUSLY always try to remember his last name but......I've blocked him out. <_< A Muscovite. Highly intelligent, very argumentative, very VERY good-looking.

I must find him. :lol: :lol:

Jestgar Rising Star
Jess needs grain-free kitty food. Here a few ideas for dry food:

Wellness CORE (50% protein from turkey, chicken, whitefish and salmon);

Merrick BG (Before Grain) (three single-protein formulas: chicken, tuna & salmon ~36% protein);

Taste of the Wild (42% protein from chicken, venison, salmon and ocean fish).

:)

Got the Wellness, actually. Didn't see the other two. Went to the new pet chain store that opened near the chain home store (and the chain super cheap store wherein I do not shop). There is a pet store on the island, and I like the idea of supporting local businesses, but I just don't believe that the prices have to be marked up that much to support the business. I think they assume people will pay extra to have the local shopping bag (and many people do), but I'm not in the upper 80th percentile of income, so I support the less expensive, local-job-stealing store.

Mims, I'm a couple drinks aheada ya. Better go faster........

mimommy Contributor
Mims, I'm a couple drinks aheada ya. Better go faster........

Whadda matter, Jess? Come sit with momma Mimmsy. Alexander will rub your feet.

mimommy Contributor
It IS hilarious. And then Gail tried to explain it to her friends in court.....they all sneered....

"it's just orange juice and cheap vodka, how can it be so freaking incredible??" was their joust.

She done told them, though. :lol:

I want to know what is in that widdle phuzzy drink you are drinkin, Mimms ;)

It makes me fat and bloated, just thinking about it the White Russian :lol:

Could use one around here with big thumbs, though

:lol:

OMG I HAD a Russian boyfriend in Monterey!!!!!!!!! I SERIOUSLY always try to remember his last name but......I've blocked him out. <_< A Muscovite. Highly intelligent, very argumentative, very VERY good-looking.

I must find him. :lol: :lol:

Was this when she was defendin' the poor fuzzy, or was she for the prosecution?

MockbNy nynctbiN xopowNN!

---------------------------------

Muscovite fuzzy good!

Jestgar Rising Star

When I'm on the computer, I can watch TV through the crack between the computer cupboard door and the cabinet. There's a plant on the table right there so I'm kinda looking through the foliage. It's like watching House in the jungle.

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Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
    • lmemsm
      I've been making a lot of black bean brownies lately because it's one of the few gluten free dessert recipes that actually tastes palatable.  I've also seen chocolate cake recipes with black beans.  Someone mentioned a cookie recipe using lentils in place of flour.  Just wondering if anyone's run across any tried and true recipes using beans, lentils or peas for desserts?  I've seen a lot of recipes for garbanzo flour but I'm allergic to garbanzo beans/chickpeas.  Was wondering if adzuki or pinto beans might be useful in replacing some or all of the flour in baking.  Since gluten free flours can be crumbly was hoping the beans might help produce a better, less crumbly consistency.  Any recommendations for recipes?  Thanks.
    • lmemsm
      I've seen a lot of recipes for chia pudding, so I decided to make some with chia, water, cocoa and honey.  Didn't like the taste, so I added ground sunflower and ground pumpkin seed to it.  It tasted okay, but came out more like frosting that pudding.  I used to make pudding with tapioca starch, milk powder, water and sugar.  It came out very good but I haven't figured out what to use to replace the milk powder to make it dairy free.  Most starches will work in place of tapioca starch but quantity varies depending on the type of starch.  If I didn't add enough starch to get a pudding consistency, I'd add gelatin as well to fix it.  Avocado and cocoa makes a good dessert with a pudding like consistency.  Unfortunately, I have a bad reaction to avocados.
    • lmemsm
      Seems like when I find a gluten free product I like, the producer stops manufacturing it and then I have trouble finding a new gluten free source for it.  What's worse, I've been contacting companies to ask if their products are gluten free and they don't even bother to respond.  So, it's making it very hard to find safe replacements.  I was buying teff flour at nuts.com and they no longer carry it.  I noticed Naturevibe has teff and soy flour.  However, I can't get a response as to whether their flours are safe for someone with celiac.  Can't get a response from Aldi if their peas are safe for someone with celiac either.  I know Bob's Red Mill has teff flour but was hoping to get a large quantity.  I've been using up the 20 ounce Bob's Red Mill teff flour too quickly.  Does anyone know of a good source for teff or soy flour?  Any recommendations where to get gluten free beans, peas or lentils?  I found some packages of gluten free beans at Sprouts but not much variety.  I've also been looking for lentil elbow macaroni and it seems like no one is making that now that Tolerant was bought out.  Any suggestions for safe sources for these types of ingredients.  Thanks.
    • chrish42
      All I can say is this site is great!
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