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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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tom Contributor

Hey there Em!

I've been meaning to mention this.

Couple wks ago I stumbled across some sheet music, so went ahead 'n' learnt the song. There's a line that always makes me think of you!!

"You used to ride on a chrome horse, with your . .. ..Diplomat" (!) :o

"Who carried on his shoulder a .. .siamese cat"

Any Dylan fans out there? Yoohoo . .. Hello?<lo-lo-lo> Is that an echo?

Awwww no one??? :(


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CarlaB Enthusiast
BTW, how are everyone's pets?

The only blue pill I'd suggest giving the yeti is an Ambien CR!!!

My pets are good. :) The birds are enjoying their newly renovated room off the kitchen! I didn't talk about this little room, but since it's open to the kitchen and is the entrance (a mud room), we went ahead and tiled it, too. We also took a couple ugly closets out of it and put in another window for the birds.

The birds are loving their room! They even said hello to the contractor this morning when he came over. :) They're doing great, very happy.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: The ball was thrown in the house!

Right! And "no one" was the kid who did it! :lol:

Ridgewalker Contributor
Speaking of christmas trees and UP .. . . .. .across the street someone did something I'd heard of but never seen. <giggle giggle> There are some sort of newly-built fancypants lofts w/ floor-to-ceiling windows & I'm looking at an upside-down christmas tree hung from the ceiling!!! :blink::lol::D

:o Oh my gawwwwd, I have heard of this trendy trend- and can I say I just don't quite get this one!!! :ph34r:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Oh! ....a yellow yeasty yeti...the poor beast. He's got liver issues, now? :o

:o dear gawd, what have we done? A bilious, jaundiced yeti? :lol:

Any Dylan fans out there? Yoohoo . .. Hello?<lo-lo-lo> Is that an echo?

Awwww no one??? :(

only ONE song - called When He Returns - makes me cry, almost.

off to bed. I'm too cold, have to crawl under me warm covers.

but, um, yeah, I really don't get the upside-down Christmas tree thingy. :blink:

tom Contributor
Oh! ....a yellow yeasty yeti...the poor beast. He's got liver issues, now? :o

<beep!beep!beep!> Hey! Back up the candida caboose!

I saw a couple "Ifs" up there!!

OUR big fella's healthy as a very healthy horse!

So let's just un-hypotheticate the unhealthiness pronto!!

For all we know he just isn't fond of train travel and it scared the wee out of 'im, discolo(ack I can't do the U!!)ring his pallid paletted pelt. :o:blink:

(If, in fact, there ever even WAS an off hue - perhaps it's simply rumoUr(fine! Ya happy NOW?!) borne of a glimpse under an amber shade-disguising streetlamp?)

I believe our Yeti remains 100% healthy.

Maybe he was just overly hungry?

LET THE YETI FEED!!!! :D

P.S. Oooooooh the samtsirhC eert (that's the upside-down one) guy's neighbor's tree just lit up! But .. .eh. . . .it's intermittent on/off. Not blinking, but I don't like it.

The samtsirhC eert on the ceiling has a whimsical quality I like. He/she/they better not have KIDS and do that tho!

And I'm sure I'd never do it, but it does, oh yes it does, make me smile. :) :) :)

nikki-uk Enthusiast
He is wearing an old flannel shirt of Mark's--it's pretty cold and windy here today.

I knew Mark would find him something to wear :lol:

Nikki--if you want him, we can get him to the airport. ;)

Sorry, but I've done my stint of 'Yeti sitting' ...besides - it's not fair to the big fella to have endure another trans- atlantic flight (he duffers terribly from jet lag :rolleyes: )

Tom, Susie and Bev have offered - but I think maybe Bev is the nearest to you :unsure:

They did testing, including an x-ray, and he has a pretty bad case of arthritis in his back. It was obvious even to us when we saw the x-ray.

Poor Allo <_< ......kitty wee <_<

I am quite fond of polenta. However, having trouble wrapping my dingo-brain around polenta with plums. :huh: What kind of plums? REal plums, off a tree? or canned plums, that you mash up? :lol: Do plums come in cans, in the US? has anyone ever seen that? In my life there has never been a plum desert.

Never before a plum dessert Susie??? How tragic :(

Fresh plums m'dear (do you not have them in the US?? :blink: )

Open Original Shared Link is the recipe for those brave enough - but I think you could substitute plums for apples possibly :unsure:

Okay, listen, guys...I've measured his inseam twice. Believe me, we do not want that beast ingesting ANY little blue pills... :o

:o Perish the thought!!!

2 versions of Ave Maria (Charlotte Church & Jewel)

Well now Ptaum, would never of thought you'd like Charlotte Church - but a beautiful version :)

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
Hey there Em!

I've been meaning to mention this.

Couple wks ago I stumbled across some sheet music, so went ahead 'n' learnt the song. There's a line that always makes me think of you!!

"You used to ride on a chrome horse, with your . .. ..Diplomat" (!) :o

"Who carried on his shoulder a .. .siamese cat"

Any Dylan fans out there? Yoohoo . .. Hello?<lo-lo-lo> Is that an echo?

Awwww no one??? :(

Like a Rolling Stone!!!!!


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elye Community Regular
"You used to ride on a chrome horse, with your . .. ..Diplomat" (!) :o

"Who carried on his shoulder a .. .siamese cat"

Any Dylan fans out there? Yoohoo . .. Hello?<lo-lo-lo> Is that an echo?

Awwww no one??? :(

Only Dylan would come up with a line like that...if it's a recent song (the last fifteen years or so), he could quite possibly have been writing about me.

Gad, it seems so long ago.....The Blues Festival in Ottawa, I brought a group of my students for an "English in Real-life" field trip...we were right up front, and I scrambled onto a big metal tub to get a better view. Yes, perhaps it was vaguely horse-like in shape...The Japanese Ambassador was with us, and was quite fixated with cats of the Orient...yes, yes, he brought one of his kittens! On his shoulder...hmm, yes, perhaps he perched it there as he cheered and applauded. Dylan kept glancing over with an expression I couldn't read....

Geez...whaddya know? :lol:

elye Community Regular

Okay...had to put these into THREE separate posts, as I keep getting this "number of quotes does not equal actual quotations" message....gah! Thought I had this multiple-post thing down. Ah, well...gets me closer to 2000...but do I want this?...

<beep!beep!beep!> Hey! Back up the candida caboose!

(If, in fact, there ever even WAS an off hue - perhaps it's simply rumoUr(fine! Ya happy NOW?!) borne of a glimpse under an amber shade-disguising streetlamp?)

elye Community Regular

Okay, last one...

Oooooooh the samtsirhC eert (that's the upside-down one)

SamtsirhC eert! Brilliant work, Tom! That is NOT Seuss-ian. It's quite...Celtic, perhaps? All of those consonants clustering...perhaps Middle Eastern? Hmmmm...

Plum Polenta Pie....sounds so very English! :)

That must have been a little British kid who stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum.

tom Contributor
My pets are good. :) The birds are enjoying their newly renovated room off the kitchen! I didn't talk about this little room, but since it's open to the kitchen and is the entrance (a mud room), we went ahead and tiled it, too. We also took a couple ugly closets out of it and put in another window for the birds.

The birds are loving their room! They even said hello to the contractor this morning when he came over. :) They're doing great, very happy.

But does the contractor greet them in return?

A MUD ROOM!!! Had one growing up in suburban Chicago, but as far as I know the concept doesn't even exist in most of CA. Or Arizona. (Maybe it'd be a Dust Room in the desert)

Alaskans have a more extreme version they call an Arctic Room, where the 2nd door is as sturdy & weatherproofed as the 1st, as if they anticipate that little room having snowdrifts maybe. :huh:

Never before a plum dessert Susie??? How tragic :(

Fresh plums m'dear (do you not have them in the US?? :blink: )

Open Original Shared Link is the recipe for those brave enough - but I think you could substitute plums for apples possibly :unsure:

Now I'm a bit mystified. We DO have miles of piles of delicious fresh plums whenever the season is for for them. <mmmmmmm soooooooo juicy!!> Yet I never hear of them used as an ingredient in cakes, pies, tarts, turnovers etc.

(Isn't plum pudding part of some Christmas literature of some sort?)

My theory is that 'plum baking' was compounded to plumbaking, which was contracted to plumb'ing, then some lazy bakers began omitting the apostrophe (why does that word have such similarity to 'catastrophe'?).

Somehow the general public has developed an aversion to consuming the end product of plumbing. :blech:

Like a Rolling Stone!!!!!

"You've gone to the finest schools all right Miss Lonely, but you know you only used to get . .. .. .JUICED IN IT!"

The best part about playing Dylan songs is the bar is set SO low for vocal quality, no one will be thinking "please stop! you're butchering that song!!" :lol:

Neil Young too! <_<

P.S. Poor Emily, missing a slash in the [ quote] after "streetlamp". :(

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

So Patti- have you taken the Yeti to any cool places yet?

tom Contributor
...we were right up front, and I scrambled onto a big metal tub to get a better view. Yes, perhaps it was vaguely horse-like in shape...The Japanese Ambassador was with us, and was quite fixated with cats of the Orient...yes, yes, he brought one of his kittens! On his shoulder...hmm, yes, perhaps he perched it there as he cheered and applauded. Dylan kept glancing over with an expression I couldn't read....

Geez...whaddya know? :lol:

:lol: <chuckle chuckle> that WAS you?? Hmmm I would've taken you for the sort who WOULD "turn around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns when they all did tricks for you" though.

Oh well .. . . .live 'n' learn eh?

P.S. Nice to see you've bounced back so well from the time that 'mystery tramp' took from you everything he could steal.

That musta suuuuuuucked!!

Ever find out who the heck he really was?

jerseyangel Proficient
So Patti- have you taken the Yeti to any cool places yet?

Considering I really still don't know my way around up here....no :ph34r:

So, he goes to Bev's this weekend, and then out west to help Tom? Is that the plan?

elye Community Regular
(why does that word have such similarity to 'catastrophe'?).

Dunno, but we now have a FABULOUS pair of words to mentally file away and use in our next cocktail party that involves poetry recitation. How often are we sitting, frustrated, muttering, "Geez!! I need a word that rhymes with apostrophe?!!" Happens to me CONSTANTLY. Thank you, Tom!

:lol:

P.S. Poor Emily, missing a slash in the [ quote] after "streetlamp". :(

Is THAT what happened? Mygawd, Tom....what kind of a brain do you have...noticing these things?.... :huh::lol:

:lol: <chuckle chuckle> that WAS you?? Hmmm I would've taken you for the sort who WOULD "turn around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns when they all did tricks for you" though.

Just didn't have time...I was perched on this metal tub, students around me. Turning could have resulted in a fall. WHY WERE THEY FROWNING AT ME? Probably blocking their view. Doin' them a favoUr, really. Who wants to look at Dylan? :lol:

P.S. Nice to see you've bounced back so well from the time that 'mystery tramp' took from you everything he could steal.

That musta suuuuuuucked!!

Ever find out who the heck he really was?

Yeah...I married him. Among other things, he stole my heart. Tried to convince Dylan to approach it all as a love song, but you cannot tell him anything...

tom Contributor
Dunno, but we now have a FABULOUS pair of words to mentally file away and use in our next cocktail party that involves poetry recitation. How often are we sitting, frustrated, muttering, "Geez!! I need a word that rhymes with apostrophe?!!" Happens to me CONSTANTLY. Thank you, Tom!

:lol:

Since Dylan's on my mind, a slightly mumbled (w/ mis-applied accenture) "a glass trophy" might work, as well.

'Last troll fee'? (You know .. . .after all the trolls entering the theatre for a Shrek matinee do the over-the-shoulder thumb-point behind them to signify that the holder of their ticket is in line behind them) :huh::D

A Gamblers Anonymous meeting in Monaco would have to be 'Canasta-free'!

Is THAT what happened? Mygawd, Tom....what kind of a brain do you have...noticing these things?.... :huh::lol:

:lol: If anyone ever hears of a speed-proofreading competition, I want IN!!

I swear I don't even have to read a page for the mistakes to jump out at me! :ph34r: To steal a line from Adrian Monk - "it's a gift ... ..and a curse". :lol:

Just didn't have time...I was perched on this metal tub, students around me. Turning could have resulted in a fall. WHY WERE THEY FROWNING AT ME? Probably blocking their view. Doin' them a favoUr, really. Who wants to look at Dylan? :lol:

:lmao: :lol:

I hadn't thought they were frowning AT YOU!! Hmmmm maybe ALL that 'Tears of a Clown' fol-de-rol (folderol? Ehh) can be attributed to you? Do you perhaps make a habit of kicking clowns' shins? :wacko:

Yeah...I married him. Among other things, he stole my heart. Tried to convince Dylan to approach it all as a love song, but you cannot tell him anything...

:lol: well played!! I did NOT expect that!! :lol:

:thoughtful:

<must work out a 5th verse for Like A Rolling Stone! Hmmmm what rhymes w/ Ottawa .. . .. .. >

DingoGirl Enthusiast

:huh:

:huh:

:huh:

I have utterly NO idea what the last couple pages were about...........so dingo is most decidedly

out for the day.

:huh:

CarlaB Enthusiast
But does the contractor greet them in return?

Most people do say hello back to them. :lol:

A MUD ROOM!!! Had one growing up in suburban Chicago, but as far as I know the concept doesn't even exist in most of CA. Or Arizona. (Maybe it'd be a Dust Room in the desert)

Alaskans have a more extreme version they call an Arctic Room, where the 2nd door is as sturdy & weatherproofed as the 1st, as if they anticipate that little room having snowdrifts maybe. :huh:

Well, this is an old bungalow .... the mud room used to be a porch and somewhere along the lines someone closed it in. We fixed it so it now looks like the interior of the rest of the house ... matched the window moldings, trim, etc. It's the room you enter the house from the driveway .... we live on a corner .... everyone uses this door.

Technically, since we live in the city, we don't need a "mud" room, but that's the lingo. I would imagine in CA you can't spare the space. :lol: Our house is most likely substantially bigger than the average house out there. ;) Out there, this room would probably be a bedroom! :lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Just got this in an email...my funny for the day

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys

his age rather

curious.

He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out'

from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and

how it was done.

One day he took his question to his mother, who

became rather flustered. Instead of explaining

things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the

curtains one night and watch his older sister and

her boyfriend.

This he did. The following morning, Johnny described

EVERYTHING to his mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while,

then he turned off most of the lights. Then he

started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must

be getting sick, because her face started looking

funny.

He must have thought so too, because he put his hand

inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way

the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the

doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding

her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because

pretty soon both of them started panting and getting

all out of breath.

His other hand must have been cold because he put it

under her skirt.

About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and

sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end

of the couch. This was when her fever started. I

knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt

really hot.

Finally, I found out what was making them so

sick......-a big eel ;had gotten inside his pants

somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood

there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he

grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away.

When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her eyes got

big, and her mouth fell open, and she started

calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it

was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell

her about the ones down at the lake by our house!

Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by

biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it

with both hands and held it tight while he took a

muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the

eel's head to keep it from biting again.

Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a

scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of

the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight.

Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend

almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill

the eel by squashing it between them.

After a while they both quit moving and gave a great

sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they

killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there,

limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.

Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the

battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He

started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the

eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started

to fight again.

I guess eels are like cats- they have nine lives or

something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to

kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute

struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was

dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin

off and flush it down the toilet.

elye Community Regular
:thoughtful:

<must work out a 5th verse for Like A Rolling Stone! Hmmmm what rhymes w/ Ottawa .. . .. .. >

How does it feel?

How does it feel?

To be in Ottawa?

A town with not a flaw,

Like we're in Shangri-La,

Like, it's Utopia.....

LOTS of mumbling needed for this... :rolleyes:

Mtndog Collaborator

Pooping in quickly because I JUSt found Amanda and Mr. Amanda's

on youtube of all places! :P:rolleyes::D:lol:
tom Contributor
How does it feel?

How does it feel?

To be in Ottawa?

A town with not a flaw,

Like we're in Shangri-La,

Like, it's Utopia.....

LOTS of mumbling needed for this... :rolleyes:

Hehehehehe I can mumble w/ the best of 'em. :P

Now .. . . .. .. .... .what would be a polite yet funny way to point out the difference between a verse and a chorus?

Hmmmmm

<HOLD MY CALLS!! I'm thinking!>

Hmmmmmmmm :huh: uhhhhhhhhh

:lol:

tom Contributor

:lol: OK I guess the 5th verse is up to me.

Hmmm an "English in Real Life" Field Trip to see Dylan in Ottawa.

Hmmmmm

Here goes . .. . .

Some cat from japan, on the shoulder of a man, & man was he diplomatic.

He came w/ a teacher, or was she a preacher, or maybe just pragmatic.

Up on a metal tub,

Was it just to see?

She had an expression,

I just couldn't read.

And the mystery tramp's here in Ottawa

With a ring so she won't be the one that got awa'

He said "it's muddy & I got new pants,

Do I have to kneeeeeeeeeeeeeel?"

Chorus

How does it FEEL .. . .. . ...

P.S. I see you Queen Amanda!! Only 10 more pages in your reign or was an extension granted?

elye Community Regular
Some cat from japan, on the shoulder of a man, & man was he diplomatic.

He came w/ a teacher, or was she a preacher, or maybe just pragmatic.

Up on a metal tub,

Was it just to see?

She had an expression,

I just couldn't read.

And the mystery tramp's here in Ottawa

With a ring so she won't be the one that got awa'

He said "it's muddy & I got new pants,

Do I have to kneeeeeeeeeeeeeel?"

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Tom, all I can say is that your versing (n. sing.: written verse, particularly for musical scores) makes every bit as much sense as Dylan's did, or ever has. Just as nutty...more entertaining...

"The one that got awa'??"....... :lol:

Jestgar Rising Star
:lol: OK I guess the 5th verse is up to me.

Hmmm an "English in Real Life" Field Trip to see Dylan in Ottawa.

Hmmmmm

Here goes . .. . .

Some cat from japan, on the shoulder of a man, & man was he diplomatic.

He came w/ a teacher, or was she a preacher, or maybe just pragmatic.

Up on a metal tub,

Was it just to see?

She had an expression,

I just couldn't read.

And the mystery tramp's here in Ottawa

With a ring so she won't be the one that got awa'

He said "it's muddy & I got new pants,

Do I have to kneeeeeeeeeeeeeel?"

Chorus

How does it FEEL .. . .. . ...

ummm, maybe I didn't read carefully enough ;) , but where's the yeti in that?

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      This may make you feel better about cross-contamination: https://nationalceliac.org/celiac-disease-questions/do-i-need-new-designated-pans-plates-and-utensils/ https://theceliacscene.com/rethinking-cross-contamination-no-need-to-be-so-careful/ I use Tom's of Maine or a toothpaste that states it's gluten free.  I have allergic reactions to some toothpastes so some of the toothpastes in health food stores are usually safer for me. They're typically gluten free as well. Spices can contain cross-contamination from gluten.  There are a few lists online of spices that are safe for celiacs.  I also grow my own herbs and use them in place of store bought when I can.  I think Badia lists their spices as gluten free and Spice Lab has some gluten free too. Knitty Kitty has a great point about nutritional deficiencies and B vitamins.  I got a lot of aches and pains when I got off gluten.  I tried to replace wheat with other healthy grains like teff, buckwheat and sorghum.  Limiting one's diet too much and not getting enough vitamins, can make someone feel worse.  A lot of the gluten free foods in the stores are made with lower quality ingredients than the wheat varieties.  I try to replace all my foods with homemade options.  Then I know the quality of the ingredients and which vitamins I may be high or low in.  Probiotics or prebiotics can help with bathroom issues.  Better to get them in foods if possible and not pill form.  My doctors keep recommending magnesium too.  It's not supposed to be taken alone, but they don't seem to care about that.  It's easy for vitamin D to be low too.  That was another thing doctors told me to take.  Unfortunately, they didn't monitor it and it went too high.  Again, better from natural sources like food and sunlight.  However, supplementing can help if you're not getting enough.  Some sources say to take D with K2.  You may want to have iodine levels checked.  If you add iodine, make sure to get sufficient selenium for thyroid.  You can get iodine naturally in most seaweed.  Nori may also be one of the few non-animal sources for B12.  Brazil nuts are a good source of selenium and you only need a few a day to meet RDA.  Some brands of nuts specifically say gluten free.  Unfortunately, there are issues with Brazil nut production and they're much harder to find this year. The more you can vary your diet the better.  One study said aim for at least 30 different foods in a week.  You might want to try kiwi fruit.  There were some studies that said eating kiwi improved mood.  It also has a covering which most people don't eat, so that should protect what's inside from contamination. I've limited my diet quite a bit over the years because of migraines, so I know how uncomfortable it can be finding safe foods.  However, I'm afraid limiting diets like that may actually be causing more harm than good.  It's something I'm trying to work on.  I keep trying to expand the number of foods I eat and my recipe repertoire.  I made a list of brands of foods that I've found that are gluten free so I have a guide when I'm shopping.  
    • knitty kitty
      Hello, @Dora77, I agree with you that your doctors aren't very knowledgeable about Celiac Disease.  My doctors didn't recognize nutritional deficiencies either.  I became very deficient in vitamins before I was diagnosed, so having experienced similar, I understand what a difficult time you're having.   Poor absorption of essential nutrients is caused by the damage done to the intestines by Celiac Disease.  The gluten free diet can be low in essential nutrients, so supplementing to boost your absorption is beneficial.  New symptoms can develop or worsen as one becomes more and more deficient.   There's eight essential B vitamins that our bodies cannot make, so they must come from our food and supplements.  These eight B vitamins work together, like instruments in an orchestra.  They need to be supplemented together with essential minerals like magnesium.   Deficiencies in the B vitamins can have overlapping symptoms.  Some symptoms can be traced to specific B vitamins.  OCD can be traced to low Pyridoxine Vitamin B 6.  Yes, I had OCD and washed my hands until my skin cracked and bled.  ADHD symptoms can be traced to low Thiamine Vitamin B 1.  ADHD is something one is born with.  People who are born with ADHD have a metabolic problem with getting sufficient thiamine into their brain cells.  People who develop symptoms of ADHD later in life are more likely to be low in Thiamine.  The same symptoms appear if one is not getting sufficient thiamine from the diet.  Yes, I developed symptoms of ADHD.  These symptoms improved and disappeared after supplementing with Thiamine and the other essential nutrients. I was diagnosed with Type Two Diabetes.  99% of diabetics of both types are deficient in Thiamine because our kidneys don't re-absorb thiamine properly.  Thiamine is needed to make insulin and digestive enzymes in the pancreas.  Poor digestion (floating, undigested stools) can result with insufficient pancreatic enzymes.  The gall bladder (upper right quadrant) needs thiamine to make and release bile which also helps with digestion.  Constipation is also a symptom of Thiamine and magnesium deficiencies.  The thyroid is another organ that uses lots of Thiamine, too.  Low thyroid hormones can be due to insufficient thiamine, selenium, iron, and iodine.  Swelling of hands, face and feet are also symptoms of thiamine insufficiency.   Our bodies use thiamine to make energy so organs and tissues can function.  Thiamine cannot be stored longer than three weeks.  If our stores are not replenished every day, we can run out of Thiamine quickly.  If we do get some thiamine from our diet, symptoms can wax and wane mysteriously, because a twenty percent increase in dietary thiamine causes an eighty percent improvement in brain function and symptoms.  Thiamine interacts with all the other vitamins in some way.  Many other vitamins and their metabolic processes won't work without thiamine.  In Celiac Disease you are apt to be low in all the essential nutrients, not just thiamine, but thiamine deficiency symptoms may appear first. Talk to your dietician about eating a nutritionally dense gluten free diet.  Keep in mind that processed gluten free foods do not contain sufficient vitamins to be useful.  Processed gluten free foods are filled with saturated fats and excess fiber (that could explain your constipation).  Dairy products, milk and cheese can cause problems because Casein, the protein in dairy, causes the same autoimmune reaction that gluten does in some.  Your current restricted diet is dangerous to your health.  I followed the Autoimmune Protocol Diet (Dr. Sarah Ballantyne).  It's a Paleo diet that promotes intestinal healing.   Discuss with your doctors about correcting nutritional deficiencies as soon as possible.   Interesting reading... https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34165060/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21816221/#:~:text=Lipid-soluble thiamin precursors can,and attention deficit%2Fhyperactivity disorder.
    • max it
    • cristiana
      My chest pain has been caused by costochondritis, as well as times when iron supplements has given me such bad bloating it has put pressure on my back and chest, and reflux can do the same. Also, along the lines of Wheatwacked's suggestion above, is it possible you had an injury to your chest/ribs way back that is being set off by either some sort of gastrointestinal bloating/discomfort? I distinctly remember really hurting a rib over forty years ago when I misjudged a wall and thought it was just behind me but in fact it wasn't.  I fell badly against the wall and I think I cracked a rib then.  For some strange reason I didn't tell anyone but I think had I gone to hospital an X-ray would have revealed a fracture. I think that rib has not been right since and I am sure that bloating makes it worse, as well as heavy lifting.
    • Dora77
      Sorry for the long post. I’m 18, and I was diagnosed with celiac disease and type 1 diabetes (T1D). My transglutaminase IgA was >128 U/mL, EMA IgA positive twice, and I’m HLA-DQ2 and DQ8 positive. I’ve been completely asymptomatic since diagnosis, even when I cheated with gluten sometimes in the past and used to eat out(2-5 years ago) I don’t get the typical celiac reactions, which makes it really hard to know when (or if) I’ve been glutened. But for the past year, I’ve been the most strict with my diet, and that’s also when a bunch of new issues started. I eat completely glutenfree, never eat out, dont eat food that says „may contain gluten“.   Current Health Problems • Floating, undigested stools for over a year now. Dont think its related to celiac as it was like this since im 17 and not 13-16( i got diagnosed at 13). • Chronic back pain started gradually, worsens with movement, lots of cracking/popping sounds. Been ongoing for a year now. First noticed in the gym. • Abdominal bulge on the right side, not painful but seems to be getting slightly bigger. Doctor didn’t find a hernia on ultrasound, but it was done lying down (I’ve read those can miss hernias). Noticed it like 6 months ago, couldve been there longer. • extremely dry and mildly swollen hands (this started before I started excessive hand-washing), and bloated face. • Signs of inattentive ADHD (noticed over the past 3 years), now combined with severe OCD focused on contamination and cross-contact. • Growth/puberty seemed to started after going gluten-free. Before that I was not developing. Dont know if any of these are because of celiac as my dad doesnt have those and he is a lot less strict gluten-free then me. I also had pancreatic elastase tested four times: values were 46 (very low), 236, 158, and 306 (normal). Gastroenterologist said one normal value is enough and I don’t have EPI. Family doctor prescribed Kreon anyway (after I pushed for it), and I just started taking 1 capsule (10,000 units) with meals 2 days ago, but couldn‘t see effects yet because I’ve been constipated the last few days. Maybe because of thyroid. I don’t have Hashimoto’s. No thyroid antibodies. But I took levothyroxine for slightly low FT4 levels. My thyroid levels fluctuated between borderline low and low-normal. And recently lowered my dose so that may have caused the constipating. I probably didn’t need it in the first place, and am thinking about stopping it soon.   Current Diet Right now, I only eat a very limited set of “safe” foods I prepare myself: • Gluten-free bread with tuna or cheese • Milk and cornflakes • gluten-free cookies/snacks • Bananas (the only fruit I trust right now) I rarely eat other fruits or vegetables, because I’m scared of contamination. My dad, who also has celiac but doesn’t care about CC, buys fruits, and he might’ve picked them up right after handling gluten bread. That makes me feel unsafe eating them. Even fruit at stores or markets feels risky because so many people with gluten on their hands touch them.   My Home Situation (Shared Kitchen) We’re a family of 5. Only my dad and I have celiac. He eats glutenfree but doesn’t care about CC and sometimes (but rarely) cheats. My mom and siblings eat gluten bread at every meal. My mom is honest (so if i ask her to be cautious, she most likely would try to), but doesn’t seem to understand how serious celiac is. She: • Stopped using gluten flour • only cooks gluten-free meals (but they still heat up gluten bread and also cook gluten noodles) • Keeps separate butter/jam/jars for me • Bought me a stainless steel pan Bu we didn’t replace old wooden utensils, cutting boards, or other pans. The new they bought me pan was even carried home in a shopping bag with gluten bread in it, which triggered my OCD. It also has a rubber handle and I’m scared it might still hold onto gluten. Even if it’s washed well, it’s stored next to other pans that were used for gluten food/bread. Our kitchen table is used for eating gluten bread daily. My mom wipes it but not with soap. I’m scared tiny particles remain. If she made gluten-free bread dough on a board at the table, I’d still worry about cross contmaination contamination even with something under the dough and on the table as at one point the dough would probably touch the table. So I stopped eating anything she makes.   I know OCD is making it worse, but I can’t tell how much of my fear is real and how much is anxiety. Examples: • I wash my hands 20–30 times a day — before eating, after touching anything at home or outside, after using my phone/laptop. • I don’t let others touch my phone, and I’m scared to use my laptop because friends at school or my brother (who eat gluten) have touched it. And it annoys me a lot when others touch my stuff and feels like it got contaminated and is unsafe instantly. • I stopped eating while using my phone or laptop, afraid of invisible gluten being on them. • I wash my hands after opening food packaging (since it was on store cashier belts where gluten food is placed). • I avoid sitting anywhere except my bed or one clean chair. • I won’t shake hands with anyone or walk past people eating gluten. • At school, when switching classes, I wash my hands before getting out my laptop, again before opening it, etc. • I open door knobs with my elbows instead my hands   Job Concerns (Powder Coating, Sandblasting, Etc.) I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
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