Thanks But No Thanks

[dandelionmom]

How do you handle a gorgeous gift of gluten-y holiday treats?

[Mango04]

I would take it and later give the treats away to others.

[blueeyedmanda]

I would do the same as Mango. I would accept the gift, show my thanks, and maybe share it with my work buddies. I would never expect people to try to remember the whole gluten-free thing around the holidays. I know it's hard though, especially if you are getting a lot of gifts this way. We rarely ever get gift baskets and when we do, they are fruit baskets, which is not a problem.

Maybe some others have other ideas.

[Phyllis28]

I agree, accept the gift basket and simply say thank you. I don't expect anyone else to remember that I am gluten free. Another option is to donate the basket to the local food bank or locate a family in need to give it to.

[Darn210]

I would accept them, thank them, and then use them for a neighborhood or work or extended family pitchin/get-together. Then if down the line they remember or realize that they gave you something you couldn't have and then asked you about it. . . you can tell them what you used it for and that the real gift was the time it saved you from having to shop for and/or make a treat to share.

[Guest CD_Surviver]

we take everything and let my dad have them because he does not see as much gluten as he would if we were not celiacs and we know he misses it. so we let him eat the baked goods.

Lauren

[tarnalberry]

ditto - take and share/regift, happily accepting the spirit of the gift.

[debmidge]

Gratefully accept it; then find someone else who would appreciate it....and give it away.

4 months after my husband came down with celiac, my "Team Leader" at work gave me a present of gluteny cookie mixes..variety of sugar cookies and oatmeal cookies. Since we sat next to each other & spoke about my husband's finding of celiac (gluten free diet, etc.) she knew. I think someone gave her this as a gift and she re-gifted it to me without thinking it was something I wouldn't use. I gave it to my sister in law who has kids....

[blueeyedmanda]

I also share some things with my DH since he is not gluten free and has the worst sweet tooth.

[num1habsfan]

I would accept and then give it away to other family or something...even if it's not food but threatening to Celiac somehow.

Last year for our secret santa thing in the family I ended up with the beer caddy for chickens. Obviously gluten-free beer does not come in cans. So I traded with my parents--took the toaster oven from my mom, and gave her the beer thing.

~ Lisa ~

[casnco]

I am certainly gracious when someone gives me anything, however, I do not accept gluten type gifts. It gives the wrong message if I regift it. I use the opportunity to teach. How will anyone ever understand food allergies if we passively sit back and accept the poison we are offered? I am not the Grinch but I just can't accept something that could hurt me.

Besides, what if the giver asks you how you liked their gift? Then if you tell them the truth you have hurt their feelings anyway. Better to be upfront.

[confusedks]

I have to say I agree with casnco. I know in my family we are all very honest about the gifts we get and whether we like them or not. If I get something I don't like but pretend I like it, I won't ever use it and that's not the point of the reason someone bought me a gift...it's to use it and love it!

I guess because all of my friends know I don't eat gluten, they wouldn't give me any gluteny gifts, BUT if it did happen, I would say I'm really sorry, but I can't eat gluten...would you be able to give these cookies to someone else who may enjoy them?

That's just my humble opinion. But you wouldn't give someone with a severe peanut allergy peanuts!! So why accept a gift that you can't eat.

Kassandra

[Darn210]

Last year for our secret santa thing in the family I ended up with the beer caddy for chickens.

~ Lisa ~

ROFL

Lisa, I have to tell you . . . I had to google to find out what you were talking about. I envisioned one of those hats that you put a can of beer on each side and then there is tubing to suck the beer out of. Of course since it was for chickens . . . the hat would fit on a chicken head? . . . or perhaps the head of someone who was always afraid!?! And in that case. . . Yes, go for the toaster oven!!!

[Juliebove]

I just give away or throw away. Gluten is not so much of a problem here since we don't usually get that as a gift. I do tend to get a lot of cheese and fruit baskets. I am allergic to cheese and I don't eat fruit because I'm diabetic. We also seem to get a lot of smoked salmon. Not sure why since it is a common food here in the Pacific Northwest. Husband always says he will eat it but he never does. I wind up throwing it out. The fruit usually gets thrown out too. And quite often the cheese. We tend to get this stuff from relatives on the other side of the country. I think they don't remember our dietary stuff and just don't know what to get us.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

We also seem to get a lot of smoked salmon. Not sure why since it is a common food here in the Pacific Northwest. Husband always says he will eat it but he never does. I wind up throwing it out.

Ooh--we love smoked salmon! Send it to us!!!!

You could always donate unwanted food to soup kitchens, churches, synagogues, etc.

[lmvrbaby]

I have gotten gluten stuff. I was always taught to be polite. I have instilled that into my kids and neices and nephews. Even if you got two of the same thing. Take it and say Thank you. But being gluten free is a hard thing. Not every one knows or remembers for that matter. I am the only one in my house gluten free. SO if it is something I can not have my hubby or kids can. They certainly will enjoy it.

[blueeyedmanda]

I know I never give food baskets or any thing like that...When I was young my dad used to always get fruit baskets from people at work, and I remember how sick we were of fruit by the time we had the basket just a few days. Some of it would even go to waste.

[ryebaby0]

Of course you smile sweetly and take the gift! Just like you would with any other gift that's the wrong size/style/taste/etc. (And don't tell me we can return those, because we all know that returning things is a bigger pain....) Here is someone trying to do something nice, take it that way. If they ask later, you say "I would have loved to eat them, but I can't have gluten-y food like that, so I gave it to my church/neighbor/babysitter and they really enjoyed it. It was so nice of you to think of me, even if it didn't work out"

I did have a friend who was determined to bake us gluten-free food, and I finally said "hey, we don't eat baked goods not made in our house or by other celiacs" so she bought us a basket of mixes! Yay!

[Tim-n-VA]

For me it would be situational. Close friends I'd point out the gluten issue. More casual acquaintances I'll just say thank you. Trying to educate the whole world seems to me to be the path to a frustrating life.

[Mango04]

Of course you smile sweetly and take the gift! Just like you would with any other gift that's the wrong size/style/taste/etc. (And don't tell me we can return those, because we all know that returning things is a bigger pain....) Here is someone trying to do something nice, take it that way. If they ask later, you say "I would have loved to eat them, but I can't have gluten-y food like that, so I gave it to my church/neighbor/babysitter and they really enjoyed it. It was so nice of you to think of me, even if it didn't work out"

!

Ditto! I'm actually surprised this whole thing is even an issue. I mean, if my mom or my best friend were trying to give me a big box of flour, I guess I would say something. In any other circumstance, I think the point of the gift isn't the gift itself, but the intention behind it (okay that sounded cheesy lol). Anyway, it could be fun to give the gift away again to someone who would enjoy it

[dandelionmom]

Ditto! I'm actually surprised this whole thing is even an issue. I mean, if my mom or my best friend were trying to give me a big box of flour, I guess I would say something. In any other circumstance, I think the point of the gift isn't the gift itself, but the intention behind it (okay that sounded cheesy lol). Anyway, it could be fun to give the gift away again to someone who would enjoy it

It is only an issue because of the "so how'd you like my super-gluten cookie basket" questions. We'll just pass anything on to my husband's office and hope people don't ask! I love Darn210's response in case anyone asks those tough questions!

you can tell them what you used it for and that the real gift was the time it saved you from having to shop for and/or make a treat to share.

[casnco]

How exceptional that casual acquaintances give some of you gifts. I have never had someone like that offer me a gift. The people I have received gifts from are usually people who know and love me. Casual aquaintances usually bring gifts like that to the whole office for which I would never say a word. I never complain about all of the wonderful office lunches that sales reps bring from the best Italian resturants in town that I can not eat. I never fuss about all of the pot lucks where I can not eat all of the wonderful food my co-workers make.

I am not advocating not being gracious. I am not advocating being rude. I am advocating teaching those in our small circles who love us the most and really wouldn't want to hurt us. I have a hard enough time with close family members who think "a little gluten" won't kill you. Imagin what people think who are removed from me in any manner. If you or your child had a peanut allergy would you even want to touch a gift that contained peanuts? Would you accept a gun as a gift? Would you accept drugs? I know that no one would actually offer either of these two things as a gift, but, would you accept such dangerous things in the name of graciousness?

I appreciate everyones opinion for accepting a gluten gift. Do as you choose. I just want to let folks know that there are those of us who do not accept gluten gifts and we are Okay! We are not awful ungracious people.

As for me and my family, our responce will remain, "how generous of you. You certainly put a lot of work into those beautiful cookies. I am so dissapointed that I can not accept them. My family has an allergy to the flour used to bake them and we would get deathly ill from just the smallest taste."

[babygirl1234]

one year for xmas i got gluten-free stuff from my aunt lol but if i got something i couldnt have i would give it to my fsmily because me and my kids have celiac disease all but my 14 and 5 yr old the others all have celiac disease so i get gluten-free stuff for me and the kids but either my hubby cooks for him Jennifer and megan

[HAK1031]

Is smoked salmon not gluten free? I ate some a few weeks ago along with a few other things that should have been fine- cut up veggies, cream cheese, whitefish, chocolate-dipped apricots...I attributed it to CC, but is smoked salmon bad?

[tarnalberry]

if I get questions about it after the fact, I'll totally be upfront and explain things, and say how I put it to good use and did really appreciate the thought. of course, the assumption here is that it's not a close friend or family member. In the case of a close friend or family member, I'd say something at the time, but would only give it back if they insisted, and would otherwise find a good use for it. The point isn't about what the gift *is* it's about the spirit of the gift giving, and that's all I really care about.