Another 5 Star Meal For Me Tonight

[jasonD2]

I planned a business trip so that I can make my final stop in Asheville, NC and eat at a great restaurant that is completely gluten free - WELL, they are closed for dinner on Wed night SO...I will be eating the same thing I ate the past 3 nights...canned salmon, spinach and a microwaved sweet potato..such a f'n wonderful life I have

[RideAllWays]

Another bitter celiac here...you are right, our lives are f'n fantastic. I try to look on the bright side and just make of things usually, but on some days it;s just like effffff this. Sorry about your repetitive meals...sucks eh? Are there grocery stores around? You could switch up tuna for salmon Or get some rice cakes or turkey or something...eff this celiac crap.

[celiac-mommy]

I'm sorry that you are having a bad night, however, maybe you should look at your life in a different light. Smile more and b!tch less. See the positives and don't dwell on the negatives. Look at events that may seem bad and try to laugh about it. Maybe it was a blessing is disguise. Maybe the health department closed them down because of some horrid bacteria had taken over the kitchen, causing severe diahrrea and vomiting, horrible GI problems and an itchy rash. Now everyone in Asheville knows how you feel when you get glutened.....too much??

I'm not trying to be obnoxious, I just cannot understand why you don't seem to want to be happy in your life. I want to be supportive, and this IS a place where you can come and vent when needed and get support, but I also think it's nice when you can help a fellow Celiac out as well. There has been a lot of advice given to you over the duration, and you tend to nay-say all of it. You boggle my mind!

I really do hope that the rest of your evening is more enjoyable!!

[tarnalberry]

While I understand you're frustration, it's of your own doing. I have three suggestions:

1) Do better homework. Never count on any one particular restaurant being your win - plan for and know about backup options. Be prepared to go to plan B at any time. And make the home work BETTER. My first google hit on "Asheville, NC gluten free" turned up a blog all about eating Open Original Shared Link. The first six posts talk about three restaurants and one grocery store that all have gluten free friendly items. (Posana Cafe (which might be what you were trying to go to, but their website clearly says they are not open for dinner Wednesday), Havana Restaurant, Carmel's Restaurant, and Greenlife Grocery.)

2) Get more creative. Have a salmon salad instead of what you "ate the past 3 mights". Have hummus and veggies to compliment it. And take the time, when you're AT HOME and NOT STRESSED to plan other meals you can make without cooking.

3) Book hotels that have kitchenettes, so you can cook. They almost always have stainless steel pans that can be easily cleaned, but if you have to, you can carry around your own pan and cutting board. You can make a whole heck of a lot of stuff with that - spaghetti, pasta with veggies and chicken (no nightshades), tuna noodle casserole, chicken rice soup, chili, stew, etc. Seriously, there are SO MANY one pot, simple meals that need a pan, a cutting board, and a knife.

If you prefer to be miserable and not make the changes that will make this easier (maybe not fun), well... it's your choice to be miserable. People will soon tune you out, and - if it's a case of you really choosing your misery - not really even offer sympathy.

I'm not arguing against a little wallowing now and again, but that's all you've been posting, so I'm taking the tack of "tough love" and saying "buck up and stop choosing to be unhappy". As always, you're free to ignore such advice!

[jasonD2]

I cant focus on the positives because the negatives are always there in the back of my mind. They mar every positive experience and affect every decision I make. There is no more peace of mind.

[jasonD2]

Oh well things could be worse- i could have macular degeneration

[tarnalberry]

I cant focus on the positives because the negatives are always there in the back of my mind. They mar every positive experience and affect every decision I make. There is no more peace of mind.

This is a classic sign of depression. Not "the blues" but depression. The brain gets stuck in a cycle of negativity, and positivity, there a lot or a little, just can't make it's way through.

I URGE you to find a therapist you can talk to. Maybe medication will help (yes, there can definitely be brain chemistry changes associated with this sort of thing), but any sort of significant life stressor (and yes, this dietary change can count as one), can bring on a depression. It may be hard to consider taking that step, but - again - it's a choice to be happy or miserable.

[celiac-mommy]

Not the same thing, I know, but you have to edge out the negatives and bring in the positives. I grew up with the most horrible self esteem imaginable. Later on, my therapist taught me that every time I walked past a mirror, NOT to focus on what I hated about myself, but compliment myself. Find SOMETHING redeemable about myself and say it out loud. I know (boy do I know) that it's so much easier to believe the negatives, but over time, it did work. I don't let food be a focus in my children's lives. I never focus on what they CAN"T have, but on what they can have and do enjoy. Food should be enjoyable, but it shouldn't rule your life. I'm sure if you wanted help with recipes, there are many of us who would love to help. It's just really hard to take your constant state of pessimism. We can actually be pretty good friends here if you'd actually let us....

I love the book, The Power of Now. I would recommend it for you

And therapy might not be a bad idea either

[soulcurrent]

Maybe I've missed some history here, but how is it supportive to tell someone who just needs to rant that it's his own fault for not doing the homework and he should buck up and stop complaining?

As a newbie I find that pretty disheartening.

[Lisa]

Maybe I've missed some history here,

Some of us have been members here for many years and we all have histories. We know personalities and personal struggles. The posts here have been made with knowledge, compassion and with concern

[Darn210]

I cant focus on the positives because the negatives are always there in the back of my mind. They mar every positive experience and affect every decision I make. There is no more peace of mind.

Jason,

You need more help than we can provide. Everybody needs to vent about the rough times now and then . . . especially at the beginning. However, you have been here for about two years and your threads all have the same negative theme to them. I can't recall any other (active) member that's been here as long as you that hasn't been able to help out with advice, product recommendations, recipes, etc. Not that you are required to do that to be a member of this board . . . it's just most people want to help someone else going through the same thing and you haven't made it to that stage.

I have seen more than one member in more than one thread suggest that you seek professional help. Add me to the list. I suggest you find a therapist that has experience working with chronic/lifelong illnesses. This is for the rest of your life, Jason. It's time to start enjoying your life and if you need professional help to get you there, then by all means go for it. Two years is too long for you to still be stuck in this negative mode.

Jason, I seriously wish you all the best.

[jerseyangel]

This is for the rest of your life, Jason. It's time to start enjoying your life and if you need professional help to get you there, then by all means go for it. Two years is too long for you to still be stuck in this negative mode.

Really Jason, and we mean this sincerely. I hope you will seriously consider talking to someone about this. There's an old saying that goes something like--it's unrealistic to keep doing the same things and expecting a different result.

I think it's time to try another approach. We'll always be here for you to bounce things off of as you move forward

[tarnalberry]

Maybe I've missed some history here, but how is it supportive to tell someone who just needs to rant that it's his own fault for not doing the homework and he should buck up and stop complaining?

As a newbie I find that pretty disheartening.

As Lisa mentioned, Jason's been posting here for a very long time, and making the same complaints about the same choices for... pretty much all of it. Don't get me wrong - if someone needs to come and just vent, regardless of a choice, we do generally support it! (Of course, usually with the typical message board confusion over whether or not it's *JUST* a vent, or also a request for advice, but such is the nature of anonymous written communication! )

In this case, however, when you have someone coming to you constantly, for a very long time, saying "my life sucks", "my life sucks", "my life sucks" (in some cases, literally), without ever mentioning anything about progress in changing the choices that are making life suck... Well, the person responding has three choices - enable them by offering sympathetic support every time ("there there, we all feel that way, it's totally understandable), going the tough love approach of a kick in the pants ("you're the one who put yourself here, and only you can get out of it, but you've got to do something"), or completely ignore it (""). In my book, enabling is bad - you are not only condoning, but contributing to that person's misery. I'm also not quite ready to give up and ignore, so, I've taken the "tough love" approach - no beating around the bush.

Most of us who do this aren't doing from a place of anger, dislike, or anything else, but rather from sympathetic frustration. Many of us have been there - be it the psychosocial difficulties of the diet, depression from other events or organic reasons, or other medical issues that have put us in a similar space. And most of us find that friends and loved ones helping us stay in that hole, that negative mindset, keeps us from improving. We don't want Jason to stay where he is; we want him to improve.

I realize that it can come across harsh to a newbie who hasn't seen the collected two years of "relationship" that Jason has had with members on the board, but we also can't act like every post, even from our "old familiars" is a new person either. (Another rub of anonymous, open, written communication. )

[mushroom]

Jason, this post is not meant to kick a fella when he's down, but it is written from the heart of one who has responded to many of your posts in many of your threads, and I must say you are one of our most prolific thread starters .

I keep hoping to see one of three things from you. The first is a positive post of something good that has happened to you for which you are grateful and which has brought you some joy in life. The second is an acknowledgement (some thanks, even) for all the time that members of the forum have spent attempting to help you deal with the obvious distress you are experiencing. The third is a post from you on someone else's thread attempting to help them with the problems they are dealing with, sharing your experiences and trying to find a way for them to get through what they are dealing with.

Since you have been unable to make it in any of these three categories, I heartily endorse other posters' suggestions that it is past time to seek some professional help with your problems, because it is obvious that what we are offering is not sufficient to get you over the hump. I hope you seriously consider this alternative because it is difficult to suffer for as long as you appear to be suffering with no resolution or acceptance of where you find yourself.

[ravenwoodglass]

Jason, I like the others am going to continue to urge you to get some counseling. It has been obvious for quite a while that you are suffering from depression and the spiral downward thinking that can go with depression and anxiety. I, like you, resisted getting help for many, many years but am so very glad I finally got the strength to ask for some help. With meds and therapy I am doing better than I have in years. Celiac can have a strong neuro component and even after we are gluten free it can be hard to change the thought patterns that we have used for years. It can be done though. Please take the caring advice that so many of us have given and make a phone call today. In time you will be very glad you did.

It appears that you did get a room with a microwave. There are options that are microwaveable that are safe. You need to get into the habit of bringing stuff with you that you can eat in a pinch. Thai Kitchen makes some noodle bowls that you can add a bit of meat or veggies to, Glutino makes some pretty good microwave dinners, the chicken alfredo is really good and the mac and cheese isn't bad. Dinty Moore beef stew is available anywhere and is safe. I usually add some peas or green beans. The only reason your diet is so restricted when traveling is because you don't prepare for it. We can't pack that cooler for you although I wish I could at times.

[TrillumHunter]

Yes, Jason, please see someone about this! This isn't about having celiac anymore, it's bigger than that for you.

The negatives NEVER go away, that's life and living! But each of has to learn how to deal with them and make things good for ourselves. You can get help to find out how to do this. It isn't necessary for you to do it alone. I didn't! But you have to recognize this for what it is and go find some help.

My guess is this was happening before your diagnosis and the celiac just pushed it over the edge.

Take care of yourself---find a new way to live.

[jasonD2]

"It's just really hard to take your constant state of pessimism"

You are under no obligation to read my posts and for those of you who think im not offering advice for others, well thats just not true. ive been private messaging quite a few folks on here..im more of a 1 on 1 kinda person