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Too Much Time On My Hands...

chasbari

By chasbari
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

chasbari Apprentice
chasbari
Posted

I have been rather entertained by the presence of two words that have appeared lately here. The first is "Glutard" the second being "Glutoid." These amusing little labels got my over-active imagination off and running. What are some other possibilites for labeling those celiac aliens...?

How about:

Gludiots (gluten+idiots) for those who are not only totally ignorant about what gluten is but also imperil those of us who really need to know.

Glutebots (Gluten+robot) for those who are chronically under the influence of gluten.. they have that glazed (donut) look in their eye and can't think for being in a chronic gluten induced brain fog.

Glurons (Gluten+moron) See Gludiots.. variant may have more common use in the south.. I can't be sure, though.

Glutebies (Gluten+zombies) See glutebots with the frightening distinction being they aer actively trying to spread gluten in all sorts of unseeming ways.. kind of like guys who don't wash after using the potty.

Glutots or glutites (Gluten+zealot or ite as in follower of) those who are constantly, through seriptitious or overt means, trying to get you to come back over to the other side..

Glutatives (Gluten+relative) these are the most dangerous as they are usually the most nightmarish combination of all of the above. Phasers need to be set on kill, not stun, around so many of them as they really are out to get us.

Glutistes (gluten+artiste) all those chefs and cooking show hosts who are constantly trying to make those poisonous glutens look too enticing.

Well, that's a start. Anybody else? I am sure I have missed many.

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jststric Contributor
jststric
Posted

Lmbo! Very good! Can't add ti your list at the moment but am sure to try using a few very soon!!

kayo Explorer
kayo
Posted

Love it!!! <clapping>

Fauxliacs (faux + celiacs) Those who claim to be celiac too and tell you all about it while they munch on pizza, pretzels and beer.

vbecton Explorer
vbecton
Posted

I love it! :D

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

How about glunderminers or glusabs, for the folks who try to sneak gluten into you? Sabs as in saboteurs.

Skylark Collaborator
Skylark
Posted

Funny! Got another.

Foodiot (food+idiot) Person who has no idea what is in their food. Believes flour grows on flour trees in 5 lb bags.

Fadliac (fad+celiac) Person eating gluten-free because it's trendy and cool. Fadliacs don't actually have any gluten-related health problems and can't figure out why you're so careful.

chasbari Apprentice
chasbari
Posted
  • Author

I will be grinning all day long.. love them all so far!

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GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

I love this game. This is great!

Glupons-- (Gluten + Coupon) Coupons that can only be used for gluten-containing food. (So of course they are worthless to me. I do trade with my Gluponer friends though for Gluten free product coupons.) :D

Glumercials (Gluten + Commercials) Commercials on TV for Gluten food.

Ahorsesoul Enthusiast
Ahorsesoul
Posted

Noah Webster just turned over in his grave. Several times. lol

Can I post some of these new words on my facebook page?

curiousgirl Contributor
curiousgirl
Posted

Noah Webster just turned over in his grave. Several times. lol

Can I post some of these new words on my facebook page?

Too funny!

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

Thanks for the laughs folks. You guys are great and very imaginative.

chasbari Apprentice
chasbari
Posted
  • Author

Noah Webster just turned over in his grave. Several times. lol

Can I post some of these new words on my facebook page?

I'd be honored to be quoted in such a high minded way...(smirk) Use mine freely if you like.

Glumercials...I like that one especially.. Having to sit through shows watching all those glumercials drives me, well... glutatonic.

cs

Aphreal Contributor
Aphreal
Posted

I too, have noticed the terms and they crack me up. I feel like I am one of the cool kids in the cool club because I can call some a glutard and they have no idea what I just said. :)

Aphreal Contributor
Aphreal
Posted

My fav is Glupons. I am known as one of the local coupon ladies. Little good they do me now for most of what I can eat.

Gluturds who don't print glupons.

scarlett77 Apprentice
scarlett77
Posted

LMAO...oh the Glupons kill me. I'm forever throwing away coupons because I can't use them. Oh and don't even get me started on commercials. I rue the day when my son will ask me to buy him something he saw on TV that he can't have.

And as far as Gludiots go, it absolutely amazes me how many people really don't know things like pasta, bread, cookies, and cake are made with wheat. I mean really I didn't think it was rocket science! And I'm not even Celiac...

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

My fav is Glupons. I am known as one of the local coupon ladies. Little good they do me now for most of what I can eat.

Gluturds who don't print glupons.

LMAO...oh the Glupons kill me. I'm forever throwing away coupons because I can't use them. Oh and don't even get me started on commercials. I rue the day when my son will ask me to buy him something he saw on TV that he can't have.

And as far as Gludiots go, it absolutely amazes me how many people really don't know things like pasta, bread, cookies, and cake are made with wheat. I mean really I didn't think it was rocket science! And I'm not even Celiac...

Glad to be a source of amusement. I sort my coupons now into glupons and Non-glupons and take the Glupons to my gluponing friends and they give me their non-glupons to use; So they don't go to waste and we both win. It is frustrating looking at my normal coupon boards and blogs though and see lots of people are all excited about a Glupon sale. This week it was Kelloggs. I don't think Kellogs makes a single safe cereal, so I didn't even bother looking at the threads, but lots of people were excited about Kelloggs. We need a name for companies that have nothing safe-- Glumpanies? No that doesn't sound quite right Glutenpanies? Glutenopolies? Yes, that's it Gluten + Monopoly = Glutenopoly. :P

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

My last post just made me think of another one:

Glutenopolis: (Gluten+ Metropolis) A metro area with lots of gluten restaurants and very few safe places to eat. Not to be confused with GlutenopoliEs. :lol:

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

How about a Glu-sty for a place that is contaminated with gluten.

chasbari Apprentice
chasbari
Posted
  • Author

Glad to be a source of amusement. I sort my coupons now into glupons and Non-glupons and take the Glupons to my gluponing friends and they give me their non-glupons to use; So they don't go to waste and we both win. It is frustrating looking at my normal coupon boards and blogs though and see lots of people are all excited about a Glupon sale. This week it was Kelloggs. I don't think Kellogs makes a single safe cereal, so I didn't even bother looking at the threads, but lots of people were excited about Kelloggs. We need a name for companies that have nothing safe-- Glumpanies? No that doesn't sound quite right Glutenpanies? Glutenopolies? Yes, that's it Gluten + Monopoly = Glutenopoly. :P

Whereas Glutenopolies is more descriptive and accurate I just love the sound of "glumpanies." It paints such a vivid picture in my mind... and makes me laugh as well. Go ahead.. say it out loud.. and if you are missing a tooth on your left side like I am because of celiac it sounds even funnier if you let your cheek flap whilst saying it...

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

Whereas Glutenopolies is more descriptive and accurate I just love the sound of "glumpanies." It paints such a vivid picture in my mind... and makes me laugh as well. Go ahead.. say it out loud.. and if you are missing a tooth on your left side like I am because of celiac it sounds even funnier if you let your cheek flap whilst saying it...

You're right. "Glumpanies" is fun to say. We can even create a tongue-twister: Those darn Glumpanies and their glutenopolies making it impossible to eat in the Glutenopolis! :lol:

kayo Explorer
kayo
Posted

Do Glutaloompas work at the Glumpanies?

chasbari Apprentice
chasbari
Posted
  • Author

Do Glutaloompas work at the Glumpanies?

Apparently not... if they did there would be more and better warnings about gluten everywhere and they would be sung to us in an amusingly moralizing tone.. Maybe the search would have to be for the golden gluten free ticket..

Marz Enthusiast
Marz
Posted

Brilliant idea!

Glutnosis - the hypnotic trance that the tasty gluten-filled temptations put me into when I pass by the bakery section at the store

As an alternative for Glutatives - the senseless addition of gluten (as an "additive") to otherwise gluten-free food, just to ruin my day. See Kellog's Rice Krispies, sausages, Bar Ones etc...

Marz Enthusiast
Marz
Posted

We need a name for companies that have nothing safe-- Glumpanies? No that doesn't sound quite right Glutenpanies? Glutenopolies? Yes, that's it Gluten + Monopoly = Glutenopoly. :P

lmao! Yes, Kellogs is definately a Glutenopoly!

MissyJoy Rookie
MissyJoy
Posted

I so enjoyed reading these posts just now!!! I am glad I was alone - only my dog looked at me funny while I laughed out loud!!

:D

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