Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Eating At Relative's....

Marz

By Marz
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

Marz Enthusiast
Marz
Posted

This is my situation - we're invited at least once every 2 weeks or so to eat at my mom-in-laws or at my mom's house. Or I go visit my mom and she insists on giving us some left-overs for supper. They're trying really hard to not use anything containing gluten and asking lots of questions, and I'm also careful to double check spices and ask questions about anything I'm unsure about.

However... I can't exactly ask them to keep separate utensils, pots, spoons for making gluten-free foods. I'm also sensitive to soy, and I feel really bad telling my chef brother that I'd much rather have those prawns plain without the soy sauce and possibly gluten-containing coconut milk. How do I explain after telling them the problem is with gluten, that soy could be an issue too?

Oh, and don't even start with their cutting boards, or with non-stick pans. Both families are very big on bread, so assume bread crumbs anywhere.

I'm still trying to figure out what's safe for me or not, and I feel every time I eat out I run the risk of introducing some gluten, and then not knowing why I'm feeling ill.

Should I just tell them all no lunch/supper for a few months until I get it figured out? That we'll come to visit but won't eat? I'm worried I'll insult them, after all the trouble they've gone to already? Both families have even gone out and bought gluten-free bread/muffin mixes to bake (using their non-gluten-free pans of course...) I'm trying to toe the line between being careful (which they understand), and just sounding plain crazy/obsessive!

How do you guys handle families? :/

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

They sound nice. So assuming they are reasonable- I would just tell them calmly that, because you are new to this gluten-free thing, you are still learning. You didn't know in the beginning all the stuff you are learning now. For a few months, you are not eating at anyones house but yours. You have found it's not as easy as you thought and that there can be other food issues. Invite them to your house. If they insist on bringing something they think is gluten-free, make enough food that no one will notice you don't eat theirs.

You can elaborate if they ask.

bluebonnet Explorer
bluebonnet
Posted

i agree. it sounds like they are trying to help you in anyway they can but don't fully understand how easy cc can be for you. we get together with our folks every other week specifically for supper and we have them come to our house. i cook, they bring something (since that makes them feel like they are contributing) but i KNOW what exactly is in my food.

i said something along these lines - "i know i sound high maintenance and overboard but after researching how to treat myself i have to be extreme or i will never fully get better and since i know y'all love me and want that for me i hope you will try to be understanding."

best wishes! and remember cc is just as bad as eating a bite or plate of gluten!!! :)

tea-and-crumpets Explorer
tea-and-crumpets
Posted

Honestly, I bought a couple of pots for my parents' house and as soon as I get a chance I'm getting them some glass containers for my leftovers and some plastic spoons that I'll mark gluten-free somehow. That way I don't feel bad about asking them to use my specific tools.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Honestly, I bought a couple of pots for my parents' house and as soon as I get a chance I'm getting them some glass containers for my leftovers and some plastic spoons that I'll mark gluten-free somehow. That way I don't feel bad about asking them to use my specific tools.

You can get utensils and containers in red if they don't already have that color. I also use Duct tape brand masking tape that comes in colors. I put the red tape on my jely, PB, pan handle, etc. I have red cooking spatulas & spoons. The tape comes in lots of nice colors so, pick your favorite.

You can get paint pens at the hobby store & Walmart. White or silver show up on dark colors.

tea-and-crumpets Explorer
tea-and-crumpets
Posted

You can get utensils and containers in red if they don't already have that color. I also use Duct tape brand masking tape that comes in colors. I put the red tape on my jely, PB, pan handle, etc. I have red cooking spatulas & spoons. The tape comes in lots of nice colors so, pick your favorite.

You can get paint pens at the hobby store & Walmart. White or silver show up on dark colors.

Thanks for the tips! Can the duct tape go through the dishwasher?

Marz Enthusiast
Marz
Posted
  • Author

Thanks for the suggestions! Inviting them over is a great idea, it's just that our place is *tiny* :P But I can squeeze us in at a push.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

Since eating there is a regular event, I think I would cope by not having them cook for me at all for a while. If they are willing to give you some freezer space, you could make up several Gluten Free freezer meals at home, and take them there. That way when you are there they can just pull your meal out to reheat for you. It's not the same as having something they prepared, but at least you would be eating something safe. Maybe you could get away with eating a plain salad along with your meal if they have salad without croutons and the veggies haven't been chopped on CC'd cutting boards. But I think you need to explain that you are still getting sick from some unknown source and you want to be super careful until you get it figured out. If they are already trying to help you by buying gluten-free stuff then they should understand.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Thanks for the tips! Can the duct tape go through the dishwasher?

The colored kind is a cross between real duct tape and masking tape. I hand wash my pans and utensils most of the time. So I don't know would be the answer to that. The paint pens can usually go through a couple of times before you have to re- do. But that depends on the surface you write on.

Skylark Collaborator
Skylark
Posted

I think you need to tell them the truth, that you're feeling better but still reacting to something, and trying to sort out whether you're one of the unlucky soy-sensitive celiacs or just reacting to crumbs. I would make sure they know how much it means that they're trying to work with you, but that you can't tell them exactly what your dietary needs are yet as you're still experimenting. It's OK to laugh at yourself for feeling crazy/obsessive, and to tell them that some days you think you're losing your mind. :P

With family it's usually pretty easy to offer to bring a safe dish to share. "Lunch sounds great, Mom. I'll bring some homemade soup to share."

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,188
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Leeila
    Newest Member
    Leeila
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Ginger38
      Food Allergies

      By Ginger38 · Posted

      So I recently had allergy testing for IGE antibodies in response to foods. My test results came back positive to corn, white potatoes, egg whites. Tomatoes, almonds and peanuts to name a few.  I have had obvious reactions to a few of these - particularly tomatoes and corn- both GI issues. I don’t really understand all this allergy versus celiac stuff. If the food allergies are mild do I have to avoid these foods entirely? I don’t know what I will eat if I can’t  have corn based gluten free products 
    • Kris2093u4
      Bread choice for a newbie

      By Kris2093u4 · Posted

      Geography makes a difference.  I'm in the West and Trader Joe's gluten-free bread tastes great and is a better price than most gluten-free breads sold elsewhere in my area.  
    • JForman
      7yo struggling!

      By JForman · Posted

      We have four children (7-14 yo), and our 7 year old was diagnosed with NCGS (though all Celiac labs were positive, her scope at 4 years old was negative so docs in the US won't call it celiac). We have started her on a Gluten Free diet after 3 years of major digestive issues and ruling out just about everything under the sun. Our home and kitchen and myself are all gluten-free. But I have not asked my husband/her dad or her other siblings to go completely gluten-free with us. They are at home, but not out of the home. This has led to situations when we are eating out where she has to consistently see others eating things she can't have and she has begun to say "Well, I can't have <fill in the blank>...stupid gluten."  How have you supported your gluten-free kiddos in the mental health space of this journey, especially young ones like her. I know it's hard for me as an adult sometimes to miss out, so I can't imagine being 7 and dealing with it! Any tips or ideas to help with this? 
    • Jane878
      My mo,ther married a bread making when I was 4

      By Jane878 · Posted

      By the time I was 5 I had my first auto0immune disorder, Migraine headaches, with auras to blind me, and vomiting, sensitivity to light and sound. I was 5 years old, and my stepfather would have pizza night, milling his own flour, making thick cheesy gluten pizza, that I would eat and the next day, I would have serious migraines, and my mother & stepfather did nothing about my medical problems. When I was 17 in my first year at college, I was diagnosed with my 2nd known auto-immune disorder, Meniere's disease. I was a elite athlete, a swimmer, and soccer player. And once again my parents didn't think anything of understanding why I had a disorder only older people get. Now after my mother passed from Alzheimer's disease she also suffered with living with gluten. She had a rash for 30 years that nobody could diagnose. She was itchy for 45 years total. My brother had a encapsulated virus explodes in his spleen and when this happened his entire intestines were covered with adhesions, scar tissue and he almost lost his life. He has 5 daughters, and when I finally was diagnosed after being pregnant and my body went into a cytokine storm, I lost my chance to have children, I ended up having Hashimoto's disease, Degenerative Disc disease, and my body started to shut down during my first trimester. I am 6ft tall and got down to 119lbs. My husband and I went to a special immunologist in Terrace, California. They took 17 vials of blood as we flew there for a day and returned home that evening. In 3 weeks, we had the answer, I have Celiac disease. Once this was known, only my father and husband made efforts to change their way of feeding me. At the family cabin, my stepfather & mother were more worried that I would ruin Thanksgiving Dinner. It wasn't until one of my cousins was diagnosed with Celiac disease. They finally looked into getting Gluten Free flour and taking measures to limit "gluten" in meals. He did nothing but ask for me to pay for my own food and wi-fi when I came to the cabin to stay after our house burned down. When he informed my mother, they proceeding to get into a physical fight and she ended up with a black eye. The is just more trauma for me. Sam had no interest in telling the truth about what he wanted. He lied to my mother that he had asked my husband if I could pay for "food" when he asked Geoffrey if I had money to pay for my wi-fi. My mother hates when he spends so much time on the computer so he lied and said I could pay for my own food. I will remind you I weighed 119lbs at this time. (At 6ft) that is a very sick looking person. Neither parent was worried about my weight, they just fought about how cheap my stepfather was. As my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2014. He had her sign over the will to a trust and added his children. He had no testimonial capacity at the time, so she signed without proper papers. Making this Trust null and void. When I gave my brother my childhood home, my mother stated I would be getting an equal part of inheritance to the house on Race. It currently worth 2.0 million $. I got nothing, and my stepfather has since disowned me b/c of my claim and he knows that my mother would never have left it uneven between my biological brother and myself. She sat me and my husband down, as we lived at the Race Street house and treated and took care of it as our own. My brother took over b/c he was going through a horrific divorce and needed a home so he could get a better custody deal with his soon to be ex-wife who was a Assist DA for Denver. She used the girls against him, and he & I were the primary caregivers. We, Judd and I spent the most time with them pre the divorce. Once Judd moved into the house, he threw all of my mother, grandmother and my family heirlooms out to the Goodwill. Nobody told my mother about this as she was going through cancer treatment and had Alzheimer's disease in her mother and her sister. My stepfather and biological brother took advantage of this matter, as I called a "family council" that my brother just never could make it to at the last moment. All of the furnishing, kitchen ware, everything was in the house my brother just moved into. He had had 2 weddings, I chose to elope b/c my stepfather ruined my brother's first wedding by talking about his relationship with my brother in front of my dad and his entire family, insulting him and having my grandfather leave the ceremony. It was a disaster. My stepfather just plays dumb and blames my father for the slight. I was the only child not to have a wedding. So, my mother and stepfather never had to pay for a thing. My mother had had an agreement with my father he'd pay for college and all medical issues with their kids, myself and Judd. So truly my mother never had to pay for anything big for me in her entire life. I am looking for anyone that has had a similar story, where they grew up in a household that had a baker that regularly milled flour and ate gluten. What happened to you? DId you suffer from different auto-immune diseases b/c of living with a baker using "gluten" Please let me know. I have been looking into legal ways to get my stepfather to give me what my mother had promised, and he erased. Thank you for listening to my story. Jane Donnelly  
    • trents
      Blood results

      By trents · Posted

      Possibly gluten withdrawal. Lot's of info on the internet about it. Somewhat controversial but apparently gluten plugs into the same neuro sensors as opiates do and some people get a similar type withdrawal as they do when quitting opiates. Another issue is that gluten-free facsimile flours are not fortified with vitamins and minerals as is wheat flour (in the U.S. at least) so when the switch is made to gluten-free facsimile foods, especially if a lot of processed gluten-free foods are being used as substitutes, vitamin and mineral deficiencies can result. There is also the possibility that she has picked up a virus or some but that is totally unrelated to going gluten-free.
×
×
  • Create New...