Guests Who Ask For My Food

[Finally-45]

I'm new to this and I was recently diagnosed. Like you, I discovered that the gluten-free products can be expensive. I'm a wimp when it comes to cooking, so the ready-made stuff is appealing. When you have company over and they ask to eat your food, is it polite to decline and explain that you want to keep as many gluten-free options around as possible, to avoid being tempted by the non-gluten free stuff the rest of the family eats? Does it matter if the guest is a child? Should I just hide all of my stuff before people come over?

[pricklypear1971]

Hide your stuff or learn how to cook.

[shadowicewolf]

Hide it or learn to cook like Pear says really thats all there is to it.

[glutentheintolerant]

Well, here's what I'd do:

If you can't do either, I'd tell them it's medicinal food. They wouldn't be sharing their heart pills either, would they? Not even to 'try it out'. It's pricey, it's specialized and it's there for a reason. People should just respect that if there are alternatives available.

If it isn't tagged as 'gluten-free' but it's simply gluten-free because it hasn't been processed (Like an apple or whatever) I wouldn't raise any objections. After all, celiacs and non-celiacs alike pay the same price for those foods everywhere and they're also available for both to eat.

If your quests are on a gluten-free diet, the choice is obvious. (Share your gluten-free food.)

I haven't had any one ask me if they could taste gluten-free foods. I even offered to serve it a few times but most of the time people seem to realize that it's specialized food that shouldn't be handed out like that.

[heatherjane]

A suggestion: if you have people coming over, why not make something easy that everyone can try? For example: Betty Crocker gluten free brownies. You don't have to be an expert cook to whip these up...add the ingredients, stir, put in the pan, bake it. That's it. (The gluten-eaters that I've served them to can't tell the difference.)

And, yes, it is pricier than "normal" brownie mix, but I find it on sale frequently and sometimes find coupons in the paper.

Maybe doing something like that will appease their curiosity but also show them that this crazy diet you're on isn't so bad after all.

[swindlogg]

I'm more than happy to provide someone a sample of some tasty gluten-free food, if not just to prove that it is just as delicious as 'normal' food.

Hate to see someone try it though and then immediately go grab some crackers or something.

[notme]

Does it matter if the guest is a child?

haha! my grandkids are the only people who ask me if they can eat my food! they love it and i cook alot so i don't mind sharing - i love it when they tell their mama "we don't want that kind. we want meemo's kind!"

learn to cook, for your tastebuds' sake! ugh, no wonder everybody gets depressed when they start this diet - the processed substitute foods taste like krap. (one of the first things i bought was frozen waffles and they were horrible and rubbery - so i made my own. and it cost me NOT SIX DOLLARS!!!) and if you do start cooking, make enough to freeze some if you can. makes life alot easier and then you'll have a variety of stuff to choose from. ie: i have 4 different kinds of CAKE in the freezer and probably 6 or 8 meals. in case everybody else wants to order chinese or pizza, i have things to choose from. good luck! it does get easier and people get used to it

[T.H.]

For children, the 'medicine food' idea works well. That's what I did when I was pregnant and teaching at a preschool. I had to eat constantly or I'd throw up, so all the teachers sat down with the kids and talked about my 'medicine food' (same word, too, how funny!) and how I had to have it to stay healthy, and just like medicine, we didn't share it, but they could have X food instead.

For adults, it's harder. Hiding the food is usually a good option, definitely.

Sometimes...it depends on the situation for me, but sometimes, I've broken down and simply said, 'this is actually a specialized food for my medically restricted diet. It's a bit of a chore to get. I'd be happy to get you something else though."

My hubby doesn't quite get it sometimes, still. I make myself food that's different from the rest of the family, and it takes almost twice as long, usually. Half the time, he'll decide he wants to try some of my food, and I'll look down at my plate, with its few bits of food, and his plate, which had been full of food that he just finished, and then...well, then it's often a smack to the hand and big 'no! Back off, bucko! My food!' and perhaps growling and narrow eyed looks.

On days when I'm too hungry, my resemblance to Mowgli is a bit disturbing.

[Skylark]

I don't think it's ever polite to eat something in front of another person and decline to share. That's just me. I only get out gluten-free things I'm willing to share when I have company over, like corn chips or inexpensive rice crackers.

If I'm the one doing the cooking, the whole meal will be gluten-free. It's just easier all around.

[GlutenFreeManna]

I'm new to this and I was recently diagnosed. Like you, I discovered that the gluten-free products can be expensive. I'm a wimp when it comes to cooking, so the ready-made stuff is appealing. When you have company over and they ask to eat your food, is it polite to decline and explain that you want to keep as many gluten-free options around as possible, to avoid being tempted by the non-gluten free stuff the rest of the family eats? Does it matter if the guest is a child? Should I just hide all of my stuff before people come over?

I have a couple of strong opinions on this subject. First of all it's rude for guests to ask you for food to eat unless it's a medical emergency and they are about to pass out or something. However, if you invited them and they are there for an extended period of time it's also somewhat rude for you to not OFFER something. Ideally, you should offer something before they get to the point of having to ask. What you offer does not have to be your special gluten-free food. Offering any food (or drink) before they ask however might be one way of preventing them from asking for something. Whether you learn to cook or not is up to you (but this diet is certainly easier, less boring and less expensive if you can learn) but there are plenty of simple foods that are gluten-free and inexpensive that you could offer guests. If a child is in your home and asks you if they can eat X and X is an expensive gluten-free item offer them Y instead. A simple, "No sweetie but you may have Y if you are hungry." Should be all you have to say.

I wouldn't neccessarily "hide" things but I would make sure they are put away in the cabinet and that you are not eating stuff in front of your guests (without offering them something to eat). Unless your guests are so rude as to open up your pantry and rifle through it to see if theres anything they want...if which case get a lock on the door....no just kidding about the lock but seriously if your guests are that rude to just start lookign through your kitchen for food then you have bigger problems than trying to nicely say you don't want them eating you gluten-free stuff. If they are super rude then don't feel bad for being rude in how you say no.

[sariesue]

To invite guests over and then refuse them food, especially food that can be seen, is very tacky especially if they are over during a meal period or for a good chunk of time. It is one thing to suggest they eat something else instead of your gluten-free food. But, in the end if you don't want to share your don't show it to your guests.

I dislike the idea of telling them that your gluten-free processed foods are medicinal to stop your guests from eating your expensive foods. Mostly because there is no medicinal properties that make gluten free foods potentially harmful to a guest. You don't share heart medication not because of the cost, but because of the dangerous and harmful effects it might have on others. There is no similar danger in sharing your rice pasta with a guest.

[love2travel]

When we have guests I just have never had the need for concern because cooking gluten-free is just so easy - so many things are naturally gluten-free anyway. Most baking - same thing. We had guests recently for three days and not once did I have any processed gluten-free product. Just not necessary.

So, I agree that the best thing is to learn how to cook. Who knows - you may become passionate about it like some of us!

[bartfull]

Just keep a loaf of Ener-G tapioca bread in the freezer! When they ask, give 'em a slice of that. I guarantee they'll never ask again!

[pricklypear1971]

Just keep a loaf of Ener-G tapioca bread in the freezer! When they ask, give 'em a slice of that. I guarantee they'll never ask again!

Funny and true!

[love2travel]

Just keep a loaf of Ener-G tapioca bread in the freezer! When they ask, give 'em a slice of that. I guarantee they'll never ask again!

Chalky crumbly drywall bread. Who wouldn't love that?

[mamaw]

I must be the manout on this subject!.. I've been gluten-free for years& I cook for 4 gluten-free all the time plus up to 8 other times..It is always gluten-free... Yes, it is expensive for some things but I love for them to eat healthy & to show them being gluten-free isn't a death sentence so to speak...the harrassing about being gluten-free stopped a long time ago because I share everything...in turn they have went out & been able to explain gluten-free to others ..

knowledge is power....................plus now many would rather have Glutino pretzels instead of wheat pretzels because they taste so much better....

I don't feed my four legged friends any wheat & so I don't feed my human friends & family wheat ....When you don't share some people feel you may think you are better than them...like a piece of meat, you eat prime rib & give your guess cheap burger!

mamaw

[ravenwoodglass]

If your having company for dinner just make something gluten free like a big pot of chili or for snacks some whole fruit or a cheese platter and something that is naturally gluten free. The gluten free brownie or a Betty Crocker cake might be a good choice, most won't even know they are gluten free and they really are not any more pricey than buying a premade cake at the bakery.

As far as telling kids the gluten free food is medicine to make them not want it, well in a classroom setting that might be something you need to do but I would offer the children something they could have also. I should note that my Mom, having been raised in the Depression instilled in me that you never eat in front of someone without offering them something because you never know when the last time was that person ate. We weren't even allowed to eat an ice cream cone on the porch. In my home I would be reluctant to do gluten-free food is medicine because you never know that child might be diagnosed next month or next year and you don't want them to automatically think of gluten free food as yuckky. If you have children over just don't bring out those gluten-free cookies if you don't want to share them. Bring out an apple or orange or veggie sticks instead.

[Reba32]

I have to agree with others who have said if you have guests over for any chunk of time, you should have food out for them, and gluten free everyone friendly stuff is easy enough that you shouldn't have to even put out any "specialized medicinal foods" at all.

If you've got friends over just for snacks and/or cocktails, or they've dropped in and stayed longer than expected, cut up some veggies, some cheese and dip are a good choice. Don't even need crackers.

If you've got friends over for lunch, how about a cobb salad?

If they're in for dinner, meat and roast veggies, with pumpkin custard for dessert (basically pumpkin pie without the crust). Easiest meal possible. Yes, it involves cooking, but really all you're doing is sticking a roast and some cut up veggies in a pan in the oven for an hour or two (depending on the size of the roast!) and the pumpkin custard couldn't be easier either. Just follow the recipe on the can. Easy peasy.

You'll save money, and save your sanity as well. And possibly even a few friendships.

[Finally-45]

Thanks everyone, some of you have quite a sense of humor.

The situation involved having provided designated food to guests (gluten-containing and gluten-free), but then feeling obligated to share gluten-free products that could be seen in the frig, pantry, or in baskets tucked away. Youngsters asked for some. I find it hard to say no, but I know those gluten-free cookies, bread, Lara bars and other products don't come cheap. It's also frustrating if I say yes and the kid doesn't even eat it all.

I personally think it's rude if the visiting parents don't intervene and bail me out from having to refocus their kids to the food provided to them. Some kids just like to ask for everything they see, I feel uncomfortable saying things I think the parents should say. Most everyone close to us knows I had to go gluten-free, but I don't think everyone responds to diet restrictions in a polite manner to realize that they or their kids are putting me in an uncomfortable position.

I recall a diabetic family member having some foods designated as "his" and it was always accepted among family members, though I'm sure they could have just made more of the low-carb dish or even hid his sugar-free desserts. However, friends of the family can be a whole 'nother ball game. Some people will just think it's rude of you to designate food, no matter where you put it.

[kitgordon]

I agree, people should eat what you put out - it isn't polite to be looking in your cabinets or fridge and asking for what's in there instead. And the parents ought to step up and tell the kids that, regardless of what type of food it is.

[GlutenFreeManna]

Thanks everyone, some of you have quite a sense of humor.

The situation involved having provided designated food to guests (gluten-containing and gluten-free), but then feeling obligated to share gluten-free products that could be seen in the frig, pantry, or in baskets tucked away. Youngsters asked for some. I find it hard to say no, but I know those gluten-free cookies, bread, Lara bars and other products don't come cheap. It's also frustrating if I say yes and the kid doesn't even eat it all.

I personally think it's rude if the visiting parents don't intervene and bail me out from having to refocus their kids to the food provided to them. Some kids just like to ask for everything they see, I feel uncomfortable saying things I think the parents should say. Most everyone close to us knows I had to go gluten-free, but I don't think everyone responds to diet restrictions in a polite manner to realize that they or their kids are putting me in an uncomfortable position.

I recall a diabetic family member having some foods designated as "his" and it was always accepted among family members, though I'm sure they could have just made more of the low-carb dish or even hid his sugar-free desserts. However, friends of the family can be a whole 'nother ball game. Some people will just think it's rude of you to designate food, no matter where you put it.

In this situation I think I would have just responded in a very nice tone of voice, "No sweetheart we are not eating that." And left it at that. If the items were not gluten-free or anything expensive but were just junk food items like cake and ice cream would you think it's okay to give them to the kids just because they ask? Kids need to learn boundaries and that they can't always have whatever they want. It is rude for the parents to not say anything but it's your house and you can say no since you had already provided them with other food options. This situation proabably actually has less to do with the parents (and kids) not thinking about your gluten-free diet and more to do with their personal parenting style. I used to work in a coffee shop where there were baked goods for sale. It was astounding to me how many times an adult with a young kid (2-4 yr olds) came up to get their latte, also ordered a hot cocoa for the kid and the kid would start asking for some item in the bakery case or some ice cream or other things we didn't have. The kids that asked almost always were given exactly what they wanted and in many cases the parent would even ask us where the nearest ice cream or candy store was so they could go buy the kid exactly what they wanted. I'm not saying an occaisional treat is wrong but these were the same people comign in day after day, sometimes even leaving a few mintues after they had sat down to enjoy their drink because their kids were whining that they wanted some candy. I would have never gotten away with that as a kid. Some people just don't care to discipline their kid or think it's wrong to say no to them.

[moose07]

I used to get really mad at my old roommate when she would eat my gluten free food. I think this mostly made me mad because she rarely if ever made food that I could eat. So her eating my food did not make me a happy roommate.I eventually started cooking when she wasn't around just so that she wouldn't eat any of what I had made, or contaminate it. I also kept all my food in a cabinet that she couldn't reach, which was less about her reaching it and more about me not wanting my food to get contaminated. Occasionally, I would ask her if she wanted some of my food. I think most people just don't get it, especially if they don't have problems with food. But I agree it can be really frustrating when people want my gluten free food. If I buy something special like cookies, which is rare, I will hide them or only eat them when other people are not around. That may be rude but I find it rude when people eat food in front of me that they know I can't eat.

But I do agree with other posters, it would be rude to not offer people things if they are coming to your home. I would usually offer corn chips or something like that.

[Finally-45]

" This situation proabably actually has less to do with the parents (and kids) not thinking about your gluten-free diet and more to do with their personal parenting style."

Yes I agree. I have since decided to completely put away my favorite gluten-free goodies, since this neighborly family comes over often, and my kids go to their house. I always bring out snacks for the kids and I started telling the kids, "Look what treats I have!" to try and direct them to the food I have offered. Even though I explained my new diet to their mom, I think it's just now occuring to her that that means I need time to adjust to not eating gluten, which means I deal with food and other people diffferently from what I did before. So those little mom get-aways to Starbucks and restaurants are treated with less enthusiasm for now.

The point about not making some foods seem gross is correct. When you think about it, many people develop allergies or intolerances beyond birth. You never know if a child will end up on a special diet, we wouldn't want them or their friends to think they're weird just because they eat a few unusual foods.

[Skylark]

That sounds like a really good solution if you like giving the kids a lot of freedom in the kitchen!

If I were in your situation, I would also let their mom know about the crazy cost of gluten-free specialty food. She probably has no idea we have to pay $5 for the luxury of a tiny box of cookies or $7 for a loaf of bread. That way if she's around and you miss putting something away, she understands why you need help redirecting the kids.

[srall]

This came up a lot with my daughter who is now 8. She was diagnosed at 7. I agree it's hard to give 4 kids a Lara bar each when they can be $2.00 a piece. I started buying other granola bars and just said, my daughter can't eat those, so I'm going to give her a gluten free bar. Usually they don't want the gluten free stuff anyway. And it is so irritating when they take one or two bites and decide it's "yucky."

I have changed my tune about others eating food I make from scratch. It really used to bother me because buying and making the food was so expensive and labor intensive. But I guess I've made the shift, because all I make is gluten free from scratch, and anyone over can eat it (if it's offered). The kids next door love my muffins and if they stay for dinner they ask for 2nds and 3rds of whatever I've made.

And...my friends want me to do a gluten free cookbook for them. It would be pretty short.