Awkward Moment

[Strawberry-Jam]

I was talking about coeliac the other day with some strangers in my tour group... dunno how it came up, but it was probably me because I was having really, really bad acid reflux at the time and it's all I could think about. I know you guys hear people say, like, "I could NEVER give up bread" or "I would KILL MYSELF if I was celiac" but it went down like this:

guy: you know, not to be mean or depressing or anything, but I would probably, like, cut myself if I had that. I live on bread (etc etc)

me: actually, I used to cut myself before going gluten free, but never have since.

guy: . . .

and, yeah. I have been tempted to cut since gluten free, but only when I am all depressed-like from a soya/gluten/whatever reaction, or when I am suffering chronic, uncontrollable pains. I used to cut when I had 24/7 terrible headaches. Now that I sometimes have 24/7 terrible reflux, the temptation comes back. It is about wanting to be in control of my pain rather than controlled by it. It was never "omg I can't have bread I'm so depressed." I could eat cardboard for the rest of my life and enjoy it, if it meant being pain free and having a stomach that worked.

anyway. anyone have other awkward situations to share?

[Celtic Queen]

Awwwwwkkkkkkkwwwwaaaaarrrrddd... And very insensitive on his part.

This situation didn't turn out too awkward, but could have been.

Last week I helped throw a baby shower for one of my coworkers. It was being held at my boss and his wife's home. He knows I have Celiac disease but probably didn't think to mention it to his wife. And I didn't tell her. She asked me to pick up some petit fours from this very exclusive bakery that's near my house. So I did my part and picked up the petit fours, even though it meant walking into this french bakery and looking at all the home made breads and pastries I couldn't eat. I bought 2 petit fours per person, thinking it would be enough.

Well, evidently these petit fours are one of her most favorite things in the world to eat. And she kept making all these half joking, half snide comments about how I didn't buy enough. Plus she had a photo taken with the two of us and the plate of petit fours. She kept going on and on about these things. By the end of the evening I wanted to say, "Look, B*itch, you can eat my two petit fours because I have Celiac Disease and can't eat them. So shut up about the D*mn petit fours!"

My co-worker (who knows why I couldn't eat the petit fours) and I were cracking up about it the next day. And on top of that I brought some carrots and hummus, so that I knew that I would have something safe to eat. She decided there needed to be some crackers and bread to go with the hummus too. So my carrots were CC'd. Grrrrr....

Of course if she knew about my Celiac Disease she would have been totally mortified. And I was trying to so hard to be discreet because the evening wasn't about me and I didn't want to make a big deal. I was tempted to say something to her, but at that point it would have been way too awkward. But I'm going to have to say something to her because our company holiday party is next week and she's doing the food.

[sandsurfgirl]

Instead of the thin celiac where you can't keep weight on, I got the celiac where my metabolism got messed up and losing weight has been very hard.

My thin friend was moaning about not being able to lose 5 pounds. I said something about how I was a size 16 at one point and was so frustrated.

She said "I would kill myself if I was that big."

I cried the whole afternoon.

I hope that guy felt bad for what he said to you.

[bigbird16]

Actually, Strawberry, not so awkward. It just turns the insensitivity of his comments right over on the guy's head like a litterbasket. If I'd have been there, I'd probably have snickered and winked at you. (Some of my friends don't get my darker humor. It causes misunderstandings at times.)

It's amazing the difference we feel after going free (gluten, dairy, soy, nightshade, or whatever).

[bigbird16]

My thin friend was moaning about not being able to lose 5 pounds. I said something about how I was a size 16 at one point and was so frustrated.

She said "I would kill myself if I was that big."

I cried the whole afternoon.

My best friend, who is a size 4 (I'm 16/18), says crap like that all the time. It hurts so much. I nearly walked out of rehearsal the day we tried on new halter tops for a show (best friend picked them). Grown women were crying because they would need to wear plunge bras. I had to make my own top, because the biggest didn't fit. And due to bust size and neck issues, I can't wear a halter bra. I waited until I got to the car and sobbed. I sobbed while I made the stupid top, too.

[Strawberry-Jam]

wait, size SIXTEEN? W. T. F. That's not even an *unhealthy* weight. well, I guess it could be if you were like 4 ft tall? I don't even know? don't even get me started on fat/skinny comments. I'm sure I've done my fair share of that crap in the past but I hopefully know better by now. I used to think that if I was over suchandsuch size, then I would become anorexic to "fix" it. Now I know that such thinking is stupid and that what matters isn't size but health. I tend to struggle with not being able to eat enough calories to keep my body weight because of coeliac, but I'm lucky in that I have a fairly average-sized body that doesn't tend to gain or lose weight dangerously quickly unless I'm very sick. if I was a larger person, rather than the the pixie that I am (I'm really short, too) I would just try to build as much muscle as I could, whether it replaced the fat or not. All I care about is being as strong as I can be.

I do hope that the guy kinda thinks twice about what he says in future, tho. I can't imagine what it would've been like for me if I WAS still cutting myself when he said that. I probably would have crumpled.

[Jestgar]

She said "I would kill myself if I was that big."

Whatever.

I would kill myself if I had so little sense of self-worth that my dress size defined me.

Pity her.

[Takala]

If any of these jokers were handling animals that weighed over a hundred pounds at birth, and had to halter break them, they wouldn't be thinking the anorectic look was particularly useful anymore.

Our largest dog weighs about 130 lbs. (newf crossed with something else large) When we take him for a walk somewhere, sometimes other people leave their dogs off leash, (don't read the signs) and they will come running up to us, wanting to play. My dog could easily knock them over just running into them, and I can't believe how many times they are not THINKING about how my dog could react if he thought they were a threat. Sometimes he will jerk the leash a bit pulling in the excitement... yeah, it helps that I still outweigh him.

[Skylark]

My best friend, who is a size 4 (I'm 16/18), says crap like that all the time. It hurts so much. I nearly walked out of rehearsal the day we tried on new halter tops for a show (best friend picked them). Grown women were crying because they would need to wear plunge bras. I had to make my own top, because the biggest didn't fit. And due to bust size and neck issues, I can't wear a halter bra. I waited until I got to the car and sobbed. I sobbed while I made the stupid top, too.

You need a new best friend, or to start being VERY honest with this one and tell her to cut that crap out. There is no call to be picking on another woman for her shape or size. God made us in all sizes, from size 2 all the way up to 34W, and we're all beautiful.

[psawyer]

You need a new best friend, or to start being VERY honest with this one and tell her to cut that crap out. There is no call to be picking on another woman for her shape or size. God made us in all sizes, from size 2 all the way up to 34W, and we're all beautiful.

Ain't that the truth!

[sariesue]

My best friend, who is a size 4 (I'm 16/18), says crap like that all the time. It hurts so much. I nearly walked out of rehearsal the day we tried on new halter tops for a show (best friend picked them). Grown women were crying because they would need to wear plunge bras. I had to make my own top, because the biggest didn't fit. And due to bust size and neck issues, I can't wear a halter bra. I waited until I got to the car and sobbed. I sobbed while I made the stupid top, too.

Umm, why is wearing a plunge bra something to cry about? No one sees it and they aren't any more uncomfortable than a normal strapless bra. Would they really prefer the alternative? pasties? Plus they make clear bra straps these days and from a stage you can't see them. It's on all strapless dance costumes these days. If you all didn't like the costumes and yours couldn't fit why couldn't you convince her that there needed to be a change in costume. Found a different top or even mix tops of the same color/design?

[lynnelise]

Instead of the thin celiac where you can't keep weight on, I got the celiac where my metabolism got messed up and losing weight has been very hard.

My thin friend was moaning about not being able to lose 5 pounds. I said something about how I was a size 16 at one point and was so frustrated.

She said "I would kill myself if I was that big."

I cried the whole afternoon.

I hope that guy felt bad for what he said to you.

Wow, that is the rudest thing I have ever heard! How insensitive! I've had a similar thing happen because my boss and I used to be almost the same size. I think she was one size above mine. Well she lost tons of weight a couple of years back and goes on about how she never wants to get that big again and how when she finds her old clothes they are so enormous she can't believe she was that huge. I truly think she has no idea how insulting it is to hear this since I am almost that same size!!!

[Chad Sines]

I think people just do not get it and cannot comprehend it. I have to say I did know much about it until I realized I had it. Had someone said the same thing to me I might have replied "Yeah, I get it. I love bread. It was like a rug was pulled out from under me. But overall it gave me my life back."

[kareng]

I was hoping Chad was going to comment on "plunge bras".

I just wish someone would say "I would just die without bread!" to me. I have my come-back ready - "I guess a diagnosis of Celiac would be fatal for you."

Most people just say that they know someone with that or "What a bummer" I don't mind cause it is a "bummer".

[bigbird16]

I think a lot of times people are just so inwardly focused (or so scattered and unthinking) that they really don't hear the words they say. Selfish git that I am, I know I'm guilty of being insensitive.

I did finally quiet my friend after one of her self-loathing fests when I said, "And, my waist has the same measurement as K's hips." She looked at me and then at K, and I haven't heard anything about her being fat in about four or five months. (I know everyone's measurements because I help with costuming.) Sometimes the dance world can be seriously messed up when talking bodies, even in a dance form that is supposed to be more forgiving.

I had told her there would be problems with people and the tops, but that was the look she wanted. The plunge bra thing was seriously like being at the first day of daycare. The solution for most was to wear a lacy tube top to cover up their unusually exposed bits. I said screw that and showed off every bit of what my mama gave me, within legal limits. You want cleavage, honey, I got enough for all y'all and then some in my fancy hand-made top that is better made than those bought tops that fall apart in the wash.

And hey, we're not fat, skinny, off-balance, off-kilter, or any of the rest of it. We are well-nourished, because our food no longer kills us.

[Chad Sines]

That is how bad celiac and my GI system has messed me up. I cannot even notice plunging bras anymore. I have been neutared. lol.

[bigbird16]

That is how bad celiac and my GI system has messed me up. I cannot even notice plunging bras anymore. I have been neutared. lol.

Sit down over here, hon, and we'll get you a nice big steak with onions and a baked potato and a cider -- free of all evil gluten. You'll be singing bass again in no time.

[pricklypear1971]

I was hoping Chad was going to comment on "plunge bras".

I just wish someone would say "I would just die without bread!" to me. I have my come-back ready - "I guess a diagnosis of Celiac would be fatal for you."

Most people just say that they know someone with that or "What a bummer" I don't mind cause it is a "bummer".

I had a dentist appointment today... and we of course were discussing gluten....

My new dentist told me that they had suspected his daughter has Celiac, but apparently it's a problem with "junk food". He remarked that he loves bread, and would have a really really hard time giving it up. If he would have said "died without bread" I honestly would have laughed given the recent discussions here.

I told him if he's Celiac he wouldn't have a problem with bread... he looked at me with big eyes and said "Really"? I said "Yes, because gluten-free bread is so awful you'll never want to eat it again!".

I couldn't resist....

I gave him a hard time but he was very conscientious about asking me about my issues, and was very supportive. He even knew about cross contamination!

[Jestgar]

Sit down over here, hon, and we'll get you a nice big steak with onions and a baked potato and a cider -- free of all evil gluten. You'll be singing bass again in no time.

And we'll all wear plunge bras.

[sandsurfgirl]

Chad you better start talking about plunge bras soon or they'll be making you chug gluten free beer and belch soon!

What's wrong with a plunge bra anyways? They give the girls their proper place in life. They're a good thing people!

[mushroom]

What is a plunge bra, anyway? How far does it plunge ??

[pricklypear1971]

What is a plunge bra, anyway? How far does it plunge ??

Evil torture devices that primarily feature underwires.

They go aaaaalllll the way down to the front strap, and snuggle up to the girls.

Got to go, my skin is starting to crawl....

[WhenDee]

Dear God! Why are so many of us continuing to spend time with such soul-crushing people???

Life is too short to spend this way. The world is full of WONDERFUL people. Make some new friends and remove these awful people from your life!

[mushroom]

Evil torture devices that primarily feature underwires.

They go aaaaalllll the way down to the front strap, and snuggle up to the girls.

Got to go, my skin is starting to crawl....

Oh, oh, my girls don't like underwires AT ALL!! My skin is crawling .... gotta get outta here ......

[AVR1962]

Good come back on your part! High-five to you!!