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Thanksgiving Issue


jnclelland

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jnclelland Contributor

Hi! I'm new here, not celiac disease (had a negative blood test), but definitely gluten-sensitive. (My main symptom is that I break out in a rash on my hands and face.)

My husband has been generally supportive, but the following issue has come up: for Thanksgiving, he insists that stuffing MUST be cooked inside the turkey, and he's NOT interested in trying any type of gluten-free stuffing. My concern, obviously, is contamination - if we cook stuffing inside the turkey, will it be safe for me to eat the outside part of the turkey? He feels that since they're not touching each other, I'm being ridiculous to worry about this. Am I?

Jeanne


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nettiebeads Apprentice
Hi!  I'm new here, not celiac disease (had a negative blood test), but definitely gluten-sensitive.  (My main symptom is that I break out in a rash on my hands and face.)

My husband has been generally supportive, but the following issue has come up: for Thanksgiving, he insists that stuffing MUST be cooked inside the turkey, and he's NOT interested in trying any type of gluten-free stuffing.  My concern, obviously, is contamination - if we cook stuffing inside the turkey, will it be safe for me to eat the outside part of the turkey?  He feels that since they're not touching each other, I'm being ridiculous to worry about this.  Am I?

Jeanne

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I've read on other posts that if the turkey is stuffed, it's off limits to those with gluten issues. How bout roasting a turkey breast for yourself?

jerseyangel Proficient

First, welcome! And no, you are not being ridiculous! A turkey stuffed with regular stuffing is not safe for a gluten free diet. Thats like cross contamination to the n'th degree. One suggestion: if he insists :angry:, you could roast a small turkey breast for yourself while the turkey cooks. You have a right to enjoy your holiday without getting sick.

elonwy Enthusiast

Don't eat the turkey. Are you cooking this meal? Is other family coming over? Personally I say if he's not cooking it he can just deal, it's not like your food makes HIM sick, but I'm prone to putting my foot down and damning the consequences.

Other option is what I'm doing with my bf's mom ( who's actually being awesome and cooking everything seperate to give me more choices) if making my own stuffing and gravy and pie. I'm skipping the green bean casserole this year, and she won't budge on an alternate, but I might try it at christmas.

I've never been a fan of stuffing the turkey gluten-free or not, because my aunt nearly killed us all one year when she didn't cook the bird right with stuffing in it. Little paranoid about that now, myself. Its not that hard to do it properly, but I have enough stomach problems, you know?

Elonwy

jnclelland Contributor
Don't eat the turkey. Are you cooking this meal? Is other family coming over? Personally I say if he's not cooking it he can just deal, it's not like your food makes HIM sick, but I'm prone to putting my foot down and damning the consequences.

Elonwy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow - you guys respond really fast! :-)

We're cooking together (we both love to cook) and having friends over. I almost think it would be easier to get him to cooperate if I *did* have a celiac disease diagnosis; since it's "just" rashes that I've had for years anyway without knowing why, he doesn't quite see it as the big deal that I do.

So, if I cook myself a separate turkey breast, is it okay to cook it in the oven at the same time as the stuffed turkey?

Jeanne

kabowman Explorer

My husband's family is doing Thanksgiving at their house this year, I have hosted the last 2 years and they don't like dragging their obnoxious kid to our house because I have rules.

Anyway, they won't be making anything I can eat and they refuse to even try. I will be taking my own little bit of, non-Thanksgiving food to re-heat while I am there. I am cooking a full Thanksgiving meal for myself with turkey, ham, GG dressing (and regular dressing for the rest of the family), pies, side dishes, etc. when we get home. I told his sister-in-law that we would NOT be taking any leftovers home because I can't eat them and I don't want them in my house.

You could suggest to your husband, that since you CANNOT have any turkey from a bird with regular stuffing, you will make an additional turkey breast for just yourself in addition so that you can enjoy Thanksgiving together...just fix his first so that yours is warm.

Another note, they have discovered it is bad to stuff a turkey with dressing - can make you sick. I just put cellery, onion, carrots, salt, pepper in mine and remove when we are carving the bird.

I have no celiac disease dx, only food intolerances and I refuse to make myself sick regardless of the behavior or attitudes of other people. Luckily, my husband is supportive and makes sure that I am taken care of...even if it is to visit, not eat, then go home and cook one I can eat. He has agreed not to bring left-overs home regardless of what they say.

Given time, I am sure your husband will turn around, this is a big change for everyone. However, some people get funny about tradition whether it is good or bad.

jnclelland Contributor

Kate,

Wow - your list of food intolerances is even worse than mine! As far as I can tell from the past few months of experimenting, I'm allergic/intolerant to gluten, dairy (including any milk protein such as casein), yeast, and vinegar (which includes even wheat-free soy cause, and all alcohol). Fortunately, soy and corn appear to be okay for me so far, but I'm still reeling and trying to figure out what I CAN eat. The vinegar one is the worst of the lot, since it pretty much excludes all condiments. And I haven't had a lot of luck eating out without getting at least a minor rash, which is a real bummer! (I have 5- and 2-year-old kids and full-time job, so take-out has been a fairly frequent coping mechanism until now.)

On the other hand, it's SOOOO nice to have, I'd say, about a 95% reduction in these rashes I've had for at least a decade. Even casual acquaintances have commented on how much clearer my face looks! I had a glass of wine a couple of weeks ago, itched for 2 days, and realized how nice it is NOT to itch most of the time after itching all the time for so long! Doctors always told me it was just eczema and not likely allergy-related; it took an acupuncturist to suggest that I was allergic to wheat and dairy, and from there I've been gradually piecing together the rest of the puzzle. It's a pain, but I'm glad to finally know what the problem is after all these years.

Jeanne


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Idahogirl Apprentice

Jeanne-

Have you had a skin biopsy? Could your rash be DH (Dermatitis Herpeteformis)? That is also caused by gluten intolerance, but I'm not sure that all DH patients are celiacs as well.

Lisa

kabowman Explorer

Vinegar has yeast in the process (I found out after I discovered I can't have yeast) which is why no vinegar if you can't tolerate yeast. I found the vinegar thing first, then the yeast thing.

I can't have wine due to the yeast. There is just enough that I can't drink it. What I CAN drink is tequilla in my own homemade limeade mix for margaritas and potato vodka (which I make into my own khula and mix with plain rice milk) which I can drink sparingly. I also sometimes drink blueberry brandy but it gives me a "mild" yeast reaction. My reaction to yeast is to get knocked out for 4+ hours and spend a couple of groggy days. However, my reaction to the brandy isn't that bad...maybe an hour so I only drink close to bedtime. But I don't get rashes...I would watch out.

Anyway, I eat out without too many problems as long as I don't go when the place is busy. If I go during a busy time, I get sick every time. I have one place, a little hole-in-the-wall bar, where I talked with the cook and I gave him my list of food no-nos and I just tell the waiter when we go in to tell the cook that Kate is here and he will fix me something that I can eat and it is always great. Some places I have called just said no. Keep looking...

We have learned to cook everything at home and continue to expand our menu as we get better at cooking.

We moved and got a new grill and the only thing that has ever been on the grill is meat, veggies, my BBQ sauce (no vinegar, with lemon and onion), and my special salt I make for the grill.

My kids are 12 & 14 and active again so we cook extra on weekends or free nights so that during the week, we do a lot of re-heating of main meals and then just cook side dishes fresh.

jnclelland Contributor
Jeanne-

Have you had a skin biopsy?  Could your rash be DH (Dermatitis Herpeteformis)?  That is also caused by gluten intolerance, but I'm not sure that all DH patients are celiacs as well.

Lisa

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, but I've looked at pictures online, and my rash doesn't look anything like the pictures of DH that I've seen. It's very localized, mostly on the knuckles of my right hand and a little bit on my neck, which also doesn't fit the pattern of DH as I understand it.

Jeanne

VegasCeliacBuckeye Collaborator

Sure it does..

DH occurs on joints on the body all the time (at least with me)...

I get them on my neck and knuckles...(as well as knees, elbows, "arse", my "belt-line" and armpits (where skin rubs against itself)

DH is a tricky devil and can go just about anywhere and not necessarily be in certain spots also!!

Hope this helps...

jnclelland Contributor
Sure it does..

DH occurs on joints on the body all the time (at least with me)...

I get them on my neck and knuckles...(as well as knees, elbows, "arse", my "belt-line" and armpits (where skin rubs against itself)

DH is a tricky devil and can go just about anywhere and not necessarily be in certain spots also!!

Hope this helps...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't have the blisters that seem to be typical of DH; my rash just doesn't look anything like the pictures online, so I don't think that's it. At least, it doesn't seem likely enough to bother with a skin biospy, since it seems like my dietary changes are pretty much taking care of it.

Jeanne

2old4 Rookie

I only have my rash between my fingers, but it is definitely gluten related. I've never had the DH test but if I am accidently glutened, out it comes.

jnclelland Contributor
I only have my rash between my fingers, but it is definitely gluten related. I've never had the DH test but if I am accidently glutened, out it comes.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh, I'm sure mine is gluten-related, too - or at least allergy/intolerance related; I just don't think it's DH. It also flares up when I eat other foods I'm sensitive too (vinegar, for instance), so it's not unique to gluten.

Jeanne

happygirl Collaborator

I know that people use different types of stuffing....you could make a normal cornbread stuffing (there are regularly gluten free cornbread recipes) and then there would be no risk of contamination. Just a thought. :)

If I am doing the cooking, it is gluten free. Tell him you'll make YOUR turkey w/gluten-free cornbread stuffing and he can make his own little turkey himself :P

Idahogirl Apprentice

My DH was never "blistery" until later on in life. It was always just like a heat rash. It started on only my elbows and knees, then I started getting it on my hands and feet. Now it shows up all the places previously mentioned. It started getting worse after the birth of my son.

If you're doing the diet, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. But if you have flare-ups when you accidentally eat gluten, a dose of Dapsone could probably help to keep that under control (if it's DH). Not everyone's the same, so you never know if that's what it is or not. Just a thought anyways.

Lisa

Guest nini

If you know that gluten is the source of your rashes it does not matter one whit if you have a Dr. confirm it. As far as your husband and his unreasonable request, I agree with the comment that YOUR FOOD WON'T MAKE HIM SICK... there are some awesome stuffing recipes, in fact, I use my me-maw's traditional cornbread stuffing recipe, I just converted it to gluten free... My entire family absolutely raves about it. Also, it's very dangerous to cook the stuffing INSIDE the bird, you can end up with some serious food poisoning from this.

If you don't stand up for yourself, who will? My husband gripes and complains about me not cooking anything "normal" for him... or at least he did in the beginning. He's getting a lot better about it.

I recommend that you read Dangerous Grains, and get him to read it too. This may open his eyes to the seriousness of this.

jknnej Collaborator

You need to really educate your husband so that he understands what you go through when you eat gluten. If he still acts that way it is extremely insensitive. Don't put up with it. Do you cook the turkey? If so, I would say "Ummm, would you like to eat?" LOL

In all seriousness, though, anyone who would sacrifice your health or well being, even for the moment, for a bite of turkey, doesn't deserve you cooking it for them. My husband had a hard time accepting this, too, but he would never insist on my preparing or eating a meal with gluten in it and if he did there would be major trouble in our house. ESPECIALLY since you get blistery, which means even preparing the food is harmful to you!

It's just food. Tell him that!

Sorry for my soapbox. I am so NOT old fashioned. I don't know if you are or not so I hope I'm not offending. I'm not saying it like a bad thing: I have friends who cook every meal for their hubbies and do all the housework, raise the kids, etc. I respect that. I just seriously would go berserk if my hubby ever said anything like that to me.

debmidge Rising Star

The alternative way to handle this is to get gluten-free bread cubes and make the stuffing gluten-free without telling him until he sees you eating it. But I am sneaky like that, I would try to get my way no matter what. Before my husband was celiac, I was always lactose intolerant and made dairy based desserts with lactaid drops, he moaned that it made the food taste different, so I said I wouldn't do it any more, but used the drops anyway and he never caught on and never said that the food tasted different. Being gluten free is important and it's your holiday too. You are the hostess/cook/chef/skullery person so it should be up to you. Besides if no one knows the stuffing is gluten-free what difference would it make?

mart Contributor

I recently read an article written by a dermatologist (can't remember where now) that the medical community used to think that some people who had DH had celiac disease. He said they now know that everyone who has DH has celiac disease. I think it's worth discussing with a good dermatologist.

jenvan Collaborator

Jeanne-

that is frustrating that your husband isn't even willing to try gluten-free stuffing sometime. i guess you have a few options...try and really discuss what's at the heart of the "stuffing" issue and see if he can become willing. try and show how much his support is needed, and how serious this issue (even stuffing is). this would be my approach. second is to say 'if you want your own regular stuffing, you can make yourself.' :) or you could try and sneak it in and not tell him. that approach doesn't always work the best...it wouldn't motivate my husband, it would make him angry, and only make things worse in the end for me. lastly, you can "carefully" throw some stove top in the turkey, but keep yourself away from that food. cook your own separate meat. and make sure utensils don't get switched around from one plate or dish to another. that can happen with big families eating, and it could end up contaminating your food. i actually buy a mini gluten-free ham (i can eat turkey anyway) and take it to the big family meals. like jersey angel said...you could cook some meat for yourself separately. if you choose this route, i would advise still talking to your husband...and let him know that you do not want cooking non-gluten-free meals to become a lifestyle. just some of my suggestions. good luck with all of that--let us know what you decide!

debmidge Rising Star

Jen, You're right cooking with gluten sets up a bad precedence, but accepting that gluten-free is abnormal, and making your own separate turkey w/gluten-free Stuff you're setting up a "second-class" citizen future. My theory is to not ask "Is gluten-free acceptable?" Just consider gluten-free as normal and proceed accordingly. If you're going to argue over gluten-free anyway, why not do it the gluten-free way to start with.

jnclelland Contributor

Gee, I must have made my hubby sound more insensitive than he really is! He's actually been very supportive overall; it's just an adjustment for him as well as for me. I think that in the end he's going to agree to cook his stuffing outside of the turkey; it was just that when I first mentioned it, it hadn't occurred to him before, and he has to go through his own "grieving" process about letting go of this particular Thanksgiving tradition.

In general, we both love to cook, and it's been hard for him not to be able to cook a lot of things for me that he has always loved to cook. (It's not just gluten; it's also dairy, yeast, and vinegar, so I really can't eat ANYTHING interesting from our former repertoire.) And he IS trying his best to be accommodating, but as I said, it's an adjustment.

At any rate, *I* ordered the turkey from the store, so if I have to, I'll use the I-paid-for-it-I'm-damn-well-gonna-be-able-to-eat-it argument. But I think he'll come around!

Thanks for all the supoprt; this board is really great!

Jeanne

jnclelland Contributor

Well, it seems that one of our friends who's coming for dinner wants to make a big pot of stuffing, NOT cooked in the turkey, and hubby is fine with that. so, problem solved! :-)

Jeanne

jerseyangel Proficient

Jeanne--Thanks for letting us know so we don't have to worry about ya! :) Happy Thanksgiving to you and your husband.

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The new they bought me pan was even carried home in a shopping bag with gluten bread in it, which triggered my OCD. It also has a rubber handle and I’m scared it might still hold onto gluten. Even if it’s washed well, it’s stored next to other pans that were used for gluten food/bread. Our kitchen table is used for eating gluten bread daily. My mom wipes it but not with soap. I’m scared tiny particles remain. If she made gluten-free bread dough on a board at the table, I’d still worry about cross contmaination contamination even with something under the dough and on the table as at one point the dough would probably touch the table. So I stopped eating anything she makes.   I know OCD is making it worse, but I can’t tell how much of my fear is real and how much is anxiety. Examples: • I wash my hands 20–30 times a day — before eating, after touching anything at home or outside, after using my phone/laptop. • I don’t let others touch my phone, and I’m scared to use my laptop because friends at school or my brother (who eat gluten) have touched it. And it annoys me a lot when others touch my stuff and feels like it got contaminated and is unsafe instantly. • I stopped eating while using my phone or laptop, afraid of invisible gluten being on them. • I wash my hands after opening food packaging (since it was on store cashier belts where gluten food is placed). • I avoid sitting anywhere except my bed or one clean chair. • I won’t shake hands with anyone or walk past people eating gluten. • At school, when switching classes, I wash my hands before getting out my laptop, again before opening it, etc. • I open door knobs with my elbows instead my hands   Job Concerns (Powder Coating, Sandblasting, Etc.) I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
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