Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

We've Been Invited For Supper!?!

amymh

By amymh
in Gluten-Free Restaurants

Recommended Posts

amymh Newbie
amymh
Posted

I've been gluten free (I think!?!) since April 2004 Because I'm feeling better and because I am active in life...family and own my own business...there are any number of occasions when I or my family are invited out to eat or dinner at someone's home. So far family and friends who know me are considerate in asking what can I eat or they are comfortable with me bringing something for myself. I'm interested in hearing what anyone else's experiences are..Thanks

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


Guest gfinnebraska
Guest gfinnebraska
Posted

This is a rough one... I hate going to a new home for dinner. There is just too much explaining, etc. that I feel like they think, "Ugh! Why did I invite them??!!??" So, when it is someone new, I usually don't say anything and just eat around what I can eat. Sometimes I go home a little hungry, but at least I enjoyed the fellowship. With good friends, I can tell them what I can and can not have. No problem. It is the new people in my life that I have to ease into my dietary needs. :)

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

It's a case by case thing depending on the people inviting me, the size of the gathering, and what's going on in my life at the moment. I almost always go, the question is whether or not I'll eat, and that's what varies.

jenvan Collaborator
jenvan
Posted

It depends for me too. If I don't really know them, I will usually bring something of my own...but ck to see if I can eat one of things they are offering, like a plain salad with veggies (and my own dressing) or a plain fruit salad for instance. Don't be bashful...do what you need to do. Pitch ins I always make sure to bring something substantial I can eat to share and then something else just for myself. Oftentimes I give the leftovers away as I have found they often become contaminated by other 'droppings' of food.

GlutenFreeAl Contributor
GlutenFreeAl
Posted

My advice is that if you don't know exactly what's on the menu, eat something before you go. That way you won't be starving and surrounded by food that you can't eat!

Depending on the situation, bringing a dish is a good idea too.

Work situations are tough because you can't usually ask for the menu ahead of time and it's tough to explain your situation to virtual strangers.

Good luck!

Guest Viola
Guest Viola
Posted

It is tough to go out, but bringing a dish you can share is really good advice.

Do try and go out when you are invited. This is an ackward disease as food is such a huge part of any celebration or activity. But we can't just live our lives using our own homes as our personal bubble. We need to live our lives as normally as possible, and going out is a big part of that. I do have one set of friends who just "don't get it", I no longer even try to go there for a meal, but still go for coffee or card playing after dinner. But I've found that most people will bend over backwards to make something safe. I have one friend who will not make a gluten free meal until she has washed her whole kitchen down, and went so far as to buy a new cutting board and hides it safely away in a plastic bag. :D

Nancym Enthusiast
Nancym
Posted

I have a wonderful friend who is also incredibly good about accommodating me!

I haven't really dealt with this issue yet myself. Maybe what I would do is ask if I could bring a dish and if they demurr, I might explain the issue. Its tough. I know once I had company that wouldn't eat a wide range of things and they didn't really let me know ahead of time, so that was inconvienent.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


jkmunchkin Rising Star
jkmunchkin
Posted

Definately a tough one and depends on the situation. I found the toughest situations is when it is a party. Sometimes I'd rather not eat than risk getting sick. And people think I'm just being polite and don't want them to go out of their way, and I just can't make them understand that they really don't have to go out of their way because no matter what I'm not going to feel comfortable eating at the location.

For instance, we have a Christening for a good friends baby this weekend. The party is at a Chinese restaurant (not what she wanted). Both her and another good friend have let me know that they restaurant will accomodate me, etc, etc... but there is no way unless they are using a brand new wok and I'm standing there watching them wash the utensils will I feel safe from cross contamination. I'm very adaptive for the most part but a chinese restaurant terrifies me. And I'm really fine with bring some snacks to munch on, have a bowl of white rice and call it a day. But everyone thinks I'm just trying to be easy going.

And then I have to remind myself that they are only trying to be amazing friends and completely accomodate me by asking me 1,000 times what they can do.

So I guess basically I have the opposite problem. I have the most considerate friends in the world and they are so accomodating - lol!!

This probably didn't help. :(

lonewolf Collaborator
lonewolf
Posted

I've had this happen quite a few times. I can't eat eggs, dairy or soy either, so that usually makes it impossible for other people to cook for me. I usually just tell them that I have severe food allergies and I'll bring something for myself to eat, but would love to come to enjoy the company. Almost always, they will offer to make something special, but not trusting anyone I again say thanks, I don't want them to go to any trouble. The rest of my family can usually enjoy whatever is served and no one notices after we start eating that I have something different on my plate. I will eat plain salad if I'm sure there are no crumbs or croutons (I try to get to it first) and plain vegetables or fruit salad. Really, going to dinner at someone's house is a social time, so just concentrate on that.

Liz

codetalker Contributor
codetalker
Posted

At the risk of seeming ungrateful, I've been glutened too many times by kind, well-meaning, concerned family and friends. I avoid eating food prepared by others. It's a variation of the "just say no" theme. Whenever possible, I prepare my own food.

ianm Apprentice
ianm
Posted

I have not had any real problems with this. I just explain that plain meat, fruit and veggies is okay with me. Most of the time people will accomodate. If someone really doesn't get it then I just pass on it.

codetalker Contributor
codetalker
Posted

The previous post mentioned fruit. That reminded me of a good example of what I run into even when people "get it".

Where I work, surprise birthday parties and cake are the norm. We are a tight group and have worked together forever. After I went gluten-free, one person in particular always felt very bad that I had to be skipped every year. She was the one person who actually "got it" and understood the protocols involved.

One year she got a bright idea. Instead of cake, she thought, why not a fruit platter? She called the company, interrogated the person who answered about ingredients, gluten, etc., etc. In other words, she did every right. She bought the platter. It was delivered. Everyone surprised me with a party. The person proudly explained all the steps she took to make sure everything was gluten free. We ate the fruit. And...I got very, very sick.

To cut to the chase, I finally came up with a plausible explanation with the help of someone online. What they told me was that sometimes the people who make the fruit platters use a special "trick" to keep the fruit fresh. They mix a small amount of wheat flour into water to activate the gluten. Then, they dunk the fruit slices into the mixture. The gluten coats the fruit like an edible version of plastic wrap and keeps it fresh.

I'm guessing that the person who took the order and answered the questions of my friend did not actually work in the kitchen and did not know that they used this special trick.

So bottom line, even when people try hard and serve seemingly safe things like fruit slices, I still get glutened. Go figure.

Guest cassidy
Guest cassidy
Posted

I have been bringing a dish to share with me. I always ask what I can bring when people invite me over, and they always say nothing, so now I just bring something without asking.

The other week I brought mashed potatoes. My mother-in-law had already made sweet potatoes (for me, but I was scared) and potato salad. Everyone laughed at all the potatoes on the table, but people ate them. Not the healthiest dinner, but it worked.

CeliaCruz Rookie
CeliaCruz
Posted

The worst is when people are well intentioned, go out of their way to accomodate me, do research, ask questions and STILL serve me food that makes me sick. It's almost easier when someone is just a dick about the whole thing and tries to serve me pasta. At least then I know where I stand and I don't have any social qualms about leaving, refusing to eat, or whipping out a bag of emergency snacks and chowing down on them at the table. Or if it's a restaurant, I don't mind giving the chef a hard time about what's in the food because the whole thing is essentially a business transaction. But when it's someone who is honestly trying to cook you a nice meal and do right by your dietary needs, it's so hard to point out to them any mistakes that they are making...especially when I made the same mistakes back when this was all new to me. "Thanks for the lovely meal. I was sick for three days afterwards...but it was delicious and entire the entire time I was on the toilet I was thinking, 'what a sweet gesture!'"

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
"Thanks for the lovely meal. I was sick for three days afterwards...but it was delicious and entire the entire time I was on the toilet I was thinking, 'what a sweet gesture!'"

OMG--I'm still laughing-- :D:D:D

jkmunchkin Rising Star
jkmunchkin
Posted
The worst is when people are well intentioned, go out of their way to accomodate me, do research, ask questions and STILL serve me food that makes me sick. It's almost easier when someone is just a dick about the whole thing and tries to serve me pasta. At least then I know where I stand and I don't have any social qualms about leaving, refusing to eat, or whipping out a bag of emergency snacks and chowing down on them at the table. Or if it's a restaurant, I don't mind giving the chef a hard time about what's in the food because the whole thing is essentially a business transaction. But when it's someone who is honestly trying to cook you a nice meal and do right by your dietary needs, it's so hard to point out to them any mistakes that they are making...especially when I made the same mistakes back when this was all new to me. "Thanks for the lovely meal. I was sick for three days afterwards...but it was delicious and entire the entire time I was on the toilet I was thinking, 'what a sweet gesture!'"

You said it way better than me. Exactly!

cgilsing Enthusiast
cgilsing
Posted
"Thanks for the lovely meal. I was sick for three days afterwards...but it was delicious and entire the entire time I was on the toilet I was thinking, 'what a sweet gesture!'"

LOL :lol: That is the worst! I totally agree!

elonwy Enthusiast
elonwy
Posted

I've had marvelous luck with this actually. My best friend Jenny goes out of her way to make sure she won't make me sick, down to having different cookware for me. Whenever I'm going over there to eat the entire day and sometimes the day before, we're on the phone, she'll go over an ingredient list and then I'll give her brands that work, then she'll often call me from the store to double check. I've never gotten sick there.

I had dinner with friends last night, my best guy friend has a new girlfriend and she had invited us to her house to a pasta dinner with them, I replied that my gluten free issues were very difficult, why didn't they come to our house instead. Amazingly, she replied that she had grown up gluten free because of her mom, and that my friend Eric has been eating rice pasta since they started dating and he didn't even know it. She's not 100% gluten free, but she totally understands it, and I was completely confortable. She had cheese and meat plates out for snacking, and everything had its label that had been removed from the package and placed next to the item for me to check, and everything had its own knife and seperate plates. The stuff I wasn't sure of, I just didn't eat. It was awesome.

I also went to a party with another set of friends, and the host was making brushetta as his dish, and saves me some of the tomato makings so I could bring my rice crackers and have some.

The crazy thing is, I've discovered that almost all my friends have a food allergy or intolerance that I was not neccesarily aware of. My one friend can't eat mushrooms, the other can't have onions of all things, and several people are related to celiacs. So most of the people around me that I interact with the most are hyper aware.

My family has accidently made me sick, but more from the smal mistakes we all make as were learning stuff than anything else. ( ie: wheat free doesn't mean gluten free)

The important thing is, apart from everyone listed above, anyone else who has a party or something, I'll bring some snack ( or seven) in my purse. My health is more important than hurting someone's feelings because they made something special and I'm scared to eat it. They can deal with it, and if they can't, then its probably a good indicator they don't need to be my friend.

Unless I know for sure people "get it" I'd rather they not try, so I just tell them I'm bringing my own food, and not to worry. And if they do worry, and try, and get it wrong I will politely thank them, and still not eat thier food. Minimal fuss.

It's a PITA, but its my health, so there we are.

Elonwy

jaten Enthusiast
jaten
Posted
"Thanks for the lovely meal. I was sick for three days afterwards...but it was delicious and entire the entire time I was on the toilet I was thinking, 'what a sweet gesture!'"

ROTFL...My non-celiac disease husband had a great laugh with this one, too.

KayJay Enthusiast
KayJay
Posted

I was just talking to my dh the other day saying that none of our friends ever has us over for dinner. He laughed and said it was because they don't know what to fix us. Then right as I said that a friend called and invited us for dinner. They were grilling veggies and meat so we said sure. About 10 mins. later they called back and asked what I could and couldn't eat as far as sauces and things like go. My dh is allergic to peanuts so they were checking with that too. They were very nice and thoughtful about making a dinner for us. We had a great time too! I don't see a problem letting people know what you can and can't have. It's not your fault and it's not by choice for sure.

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

On this topic, we went to a friend's place recently. They're fairly new friends, but I'm up front about my dietary restrictions. And while I was nervous about eating food she cooked, she worked with me really well on the ingredients, and I brought over two items (broth, as she had one of the Swanson's that isn't gluten-free) and taco seasoning (as she had a Lawry's that had wheat). Then she mentioned how she had been so careful about picking out a clean pot (and washing it by hand a second time) and wiping down the counter. There are some fabulous, amazing people out there! :-)

Guest BERNESES
Guest BERNESES
Posted

Oh my gosh- the three days on the toilet was hilarious! So far, I've had pretty good luck but I always carry back-up food just in case. I

would be surprised if someone was offended that you didn't eat questionable food if you explained to them how serious the reaction is. My line is usually, "Well, it's like a really bad case of the stomach flu on top of a hangover that can last up to three weeks." That usually does the trick! :P Beverly

pattic Rookie
pattic
Posted

I ALWAYS offer to bring a dish. People don't seem to get offended and I too say I'd love to come for the company. My mom is the only one who I trust to cook for me....my mom-in-law doesn't even make an attempt - LOL!

Funny story while on this topic. Invited for dinner at friends home. Brought my own cooked pasta. Another mutual friend shows up with a bag of tinkyada - she's not celiac disease, but watching gluten. She tells me to share hers and bring mine back home. When it's done, she laddles on the meatsauce. I'm a vegetarian!!!!!!!!! LOL

moral of the story, I ALWAYS offer to bring a dish. (in this case, I really needed it!)

ps-always loved the 'great food - toilet' comment! ROFL

Guest cassidy
Guest cassidy
Posted

What about a wedding? We just got a wedding invitation last night. My choices are chicken or beef. I am friends with the groom but we live in another state so he doesn't even know about my allergy. I don't know if I should put an explanation on the reply card. If it was a buffet I don't think people would notice if I didn't eat, but with a sit down dinner I think it might be ackward if I just don't eat the food. Then I'm not sure I would be comfortable eating anything they say is safe without talking to someone who is involved with preparing it. Any ideas?

cgilsing Enthusiast
cgilsing
Posted

Cassidy -

Is the reception at a restaurant? You could call ahead, explain your situation and see if there is anything they can do for you. They may let you order your meal seperatly (as if you were not with the wedding party) and then you could just pay seperatlly. Just an idea!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. Scott Adams
      - Scott Adams replied to klmgarland's topic in Dermatitis Herpetiformis
      1

      Help I’m cross contaminating myself,

      It is difficult to do the detective work of tracking down hidden sources of cross-contamination. The scenarios you described—the kiss, the dish towel, the toaster, the grandbaby's fingers—are all classic ways those with dermatitis herpetiformis might get glutened, and it's a brutal learning curve that the medical world rarely prepares you for. It is difficult to ...
    2. Scott Adams
      - Scott Adams replied to Jmartes71's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      1

      My only proof

      It's very frustrating to be dismissed by medical professionals, especially when you are the one living with the reality of your condition every day. Having to be your own advocate and "fight" for a doctor who will listen is an exhausting burden that no one should have to carry. While that 1998 brochure is a crucial piece of your personal history, it's infuriating...
    3. Scott Adams
      - Scott Adams replied to Colleen H's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      1

      Methylprednisone treatment for inflammation?

      Methylprednisolone is sometimes prescribed for significant inflammation of the stomach and intestines, particularly for conditions like Crohn's disease, certain types of severe colitis, or autoimmune-related gastrointestinal inflammation. As a corticosteroid, it works by powerfully and quickly suppressing the immune system's inflammatory response. For many...
    4. Scott Adams
      - Scott Adams replied to ElenaM's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      1

      I think I am gluten intolerant

      Based on what you've described, it is absolutely possible you are dealing with non-celiac gluten sensitivity (NCGS). Approximately 10x more people have non-celiac gluten sensitivity than have celiac disease, but there isn’t yet a test for NCGS. If your symptoms go away on a gluten-free diet it would likely signal NCGS. Your situation is a classic p...
    5. klmgarland
      - klmgarland posted a topic in Dermatitis Herpetiformis
      1

      Help I’m cross contaminating myself,

      It took three years and several doctors and many tests, and lots of steroids and other bad medicine that didn’t do anything to finally find a competent doctor to get diagnosed with dermatitis herpetiformis. I am meticulous about a completely gluten free diet now for more than a year and things were finally getting better until they weren’t. Who knew tha...
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,905
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Croissantl0v3r
    Newest Member
    Croissantl0v3r
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Scott Adams
      Help I’m cross contaminating myself,

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      It is difficult to do the detective work of tracking down hidden sources of cross-contamination. The scenarios you described—the kiss, the dish towel, the toaster, the grandbaby's fingers—are all classic ways those with dermatitis herpetiformis might get glutened, and it's a brutal learning curve that the medical world rarely prepares you for. It is difficult to have to deal with such hyper-vigilance. The fact that you have made your entire home environment, from makeup to cleaners, gluten-free is a big achievement, but it's clear the external world and shared spaces remain a minefield. Considering Dapsone is a logical and often necessary step for many with DH to break the cycle of itching and allow the skin to heal while you continue your detective work; it is a powerful tool to give you back your quality of life and sleep. You are not failing; you are fighting an incredibly steep battle. For a more specific direction, connecting with a dedicated celiac support group (online or locally) can be invaluable, as members exchange the most current, real-world tips for avoiding cross-contamination that you simply won't find in a pamphlet. You have already done the hardest part by getting a correct diagnosis. Now, the community can help you navigate the rest. If you have DH you will likely also want to avoid iodine, which is common in seafoods and dairy products, as it can exacerbate symptoms in some people. This article may also be helpful as it offers various ways to relieve the itch:  
    • Scott Adams
      My only proof

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      It's very frustrating to be dismissed by medical professionals, especially when you are the one living with the reality of your condition every day. Having to be your own advocate and "fight" for a doctor who will listen is an exhausting burden that no one should have to carry. While that 1998 brochure is a crucial piece of your personal history, it's infuriating that the medical system often requires more contemporary, formal documentation to take a condition seriously. It's a common and deeply unfair situation for those who were diagnosed decades ago, before current record-keeping and testing were standard. You are not alone in this struggle.
    • Scott Adams
      Methylprednisone treatment for inflammation?

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Methylprednisolone is sometimes prescribed for significant inflammation of the stomach and intestines, particularly for conditions like Crohn's disease, certain types of severe colitis, or autoimmune-related gastrointestinal inflammation. As a corticosteroid, it works by powerfully and quickly suppressing the immune system's inflammatory response. For many people, it can be very effective at reducing inflammation and providing rapid relief from symptoms like pain, diarrhea, and bleeding, often serving as a short-term "rescue" treatment to bring a severe flare under control. However, experiences can vary, and its effectiveness depends heavily on the specific cause of the inflammation. It's also important to be aware that while it can work well, it comes with potential side effects, especially with longer-term use, so it's typically used for the shortest duration possible under close medical supervision. It's always best to discuss the potential benefits and risks specific to your situation with your gastroenterologist.
    • Scott Adams
      I think I am gluten intolerant

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Based on what you've described, it is absolutely possible you are dealing with non-celiac gluten sensitivity (NCGS).  Approximately 10x more people have non-celiac gluten sensitivity than have celiac disease, but there isn’t yet a test for NCGS. If your symptoms go away on a gluten-free diet it would likely signal NCGS.   Your situation is a classic presentation: a negative celiac panel but a clear, recurring pattern of symptoms triggered by gluten. The symptoms you listed—particularly the extreme fatigue, bloating, neurological-psychiatric symptoms like depression and anxiety, and even the skin manifestations like facial flushing—are all well-documented in research on NCGS. It's important to know that you are not alone in experiencing this specific combination of physical and emotional reactions. The only way to know for sure is to commit to a strict, 100% gluten-free diet under the guidance of a doctor or dietitian for a period of several weeks to see if your symptoms significantly improve. It is also crucial to rule out other potential causes, so discussing these symptoms with a gastroenterologist is a very important next step.
    • klmgarland
      Help I’m cross contaminating myself,

      By klmgarland · Posted

      It took three years and several doctors and many tests, and lots of steroids and other bad medicine that didn’t do anything to finally find a competent doctor to get diagnosed with dermatitis herpetiformis.  I am meticulous about a completely gluten free diet now for more than a year and things were finally getting better until they weren’t.  Who knew that if I fed my dear invalid cousin a hamburger and used the same hand to eat a couple of her gluten free fries that I was cross contaminating myself.  Who knew that if my husband makes a sandwich and leaves crumbs on the counter which I sweep away with a dish towel then wash my hands and dry them on this same dish towel and then touch my lips that I potentially cross contaminated myself.  Who knew that just wiping off the table crumbs could still leave gluten on the table that has to be washed off with soap and water.  Who knew when my husband heats a tortilla by draping it over the toaster that gluten residue is possibly left behind.   Who knew that if my husband eats a gluten product and I kiss him on the lips that I was cross contaminating myself.  Who knew that if I should walk into the bakery to get my gluten free cupcake if they have been mixing up a batch of flour batter and there could be flour particles in the air I could inhale and contaminate myself.  Who knew I needed to be careful that my grand baby shouldn’t put there fingers in my mouth because they just ate a biscuit and I was cross contaminating myself.   Eating gluten free is the easy part.  But know one tells me how to live in the real world filled with gluten contamination just waiting to happen!   There I feel better getting all that off my chest but I feel isolated and alone in this journey. I sleep with a back scratcher, stand in my freezing cold pool, glob on tons of triamcinolone for the rash on my knees, back, bottom, elbows and ankles.  I use bottles of Scalpicine for the extensive rash on my scalp.  All my make up, medications, soaps, shampoos, cleaners, detergents are all gluten free.  But I still have a rash and I fear I will gouge and claw holes in my head and body before I can’t figure out how I am exposing myself to gluten.  I don’t even want to leave the house anymore.  I never eat any food or drink offered me at anyone’s home ever.  I can drink wine and eat potato chips!  Hurray for me, I finally agreed to try Dapsone even though I read it’s hard on your body but if I don’t get some relief am going to have a nervous breakdown from lack of sleep and high anxiety. Can anyone point me in the right direction? Thank you,  Helpless but Hopeful
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.