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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted

I'm totally a hippie liberal tree-hugger over here. :lol: Yay, Carla, on the re-usable bags! :D Janet, I totally agree. It makes no good sense that everyone is urged to recycle, but they have to pay for it-- while NOT paying for trash pick up.

We don't get up of anything out here. I get to haul everything off myself. :P Fun, fun, fun.

sigh... One of many reasons why I want to get an old pick-up truck. I hate putting trash in the back of my SUV. Stinky.

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CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
I'm totally a hippie liberal tree-hugger over here.

I hate putting trash in the back of my SUV. Stinky.

:lol: :lol: :lol: You must not be a TOTAL tree-hugger! You definitely would not be accepted as one in Bloomington, IN!!! You'd have to drive a Hybrid! Or at the very least a very small car!

I used to love driving up the the health food store ... totally granola, hippie place ... in my SUV, with my six kids, wearing my fur coat, then shop for all the stuff they eat .... I always got stared at. :lol:

The best t-shirt I ever saw (okay one of the two best ... the other was -- there are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't! :lol: :lol: ) -- I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Well one of John's best surprises was when he took me to Atlantic City and proposed on the beach. He had planned to do it on top of the Lighthouse there but the lighthouse closed for some odd reason that day.

Other surprises were just little sweet gestures. I'll keep you guys posted.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Gee, I'm beginning to feel guilty about flushing each pee.... :unsure: Maybe I'll try not flushing every time. Can't guarantee anything, though :P

So, Patti........how's it going? How many flushes?...Waiting with bated breath... :lol:

Speaking of counting things, an article in our local paper yesterday was discussing flatulence (brief mention of celiac...at least it was there!), and stated that a properly-fuctioning digestive system allows for 10-18 farts per day, regardless of gender.

My DH (undiagnosed celiac, for sure) has more disgusting flatulence than anyone I've ever known. So, we challenged him to keep track for one whole day. Well, yesterday morning he was at 20 before he made it to the breakfast table. He was sending me emails from his office...11:45--38. 1:30--51. 3:30--79. As we sat down to dinner he figured he was right at 100. Then, after supper all hell broke loose, and he lost count at around 150. It's an interesting family activity... :huh::lol:

Anyone have any exciting plans this weekend? John says he has a surprise planned tonight. I am dying to know what it is.

We are going skating on the Rideau Canal, just open yesterday as we've had things too mild for it to open till now...it's the longest skating rink in the world! (9 kilometres, I believe).

Good Morning All!!! Terrible headache this morning . . . out drinking last night??? No!! We were at my son's pinewood derby where they raced approximately 100 cars.

Is that with the Cub Scouts? We call it the Cub Car Rally, and it is great fun. DS's cars have always done pitifully. The same weasely little kid wins every year...in fact, I suspect he's a sick little adult with an engineering Phd, decked out in a little cub uniform. he's been winning for ten years or something... <_<:rolleyes:

But here, we don't pay for garbage pick up (we do really, it's just tied into our home association fees and so you don't know how much you are even paying) but you have to pay for recycling.

We pay high property taxes here, but it covers all garbage and recycling pick-up...and they take everything. Fridges, mattresses, probably even corpses...they even have three or four days a year where you can put out your toxic-type garbage--paint cans, batteries, etc., and they dispose of it all for you. A good system....

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
We pay high property taxes here, but it covers all garbage and recycling pick-up...and they take everything. Fridges, mattresses, probably even corpses...they even have three or four days a year where you can put out your toxic-type garbage--paint cans, batteries, etc., and they dispose of it all for you. A good system....

Same here, but they don't take refrigerators. We called about it, and it was $200 to get rid of it because of the freon. So, we put the fridge out by the curb and put a sign, $25 on it! A neighbor inquired, I told him that it leaked a little into the refrigerator from the freezer, but other than that it was okay, he could have it ... he said, "but you're asking money for it." I said, that's just so someone thinks it has value. :lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

<busted for over-emoticonage - now sullenly removing me smilies>

Yup - I had cancer when I was 16. 2 years of chemo and radiation. You could say that my whole high school experience sucked on ice. Cancer was actually the trigger for my celiac, but I didn't get diagnosed until I was 34.

:o mygawd, Colleen, that is unbelievable.....may I ask what kind of cancer? Must have given you an entirely different outlook on life.....not your NORMAL high school experience....but anywho, quite marvelous that you survived, no? (smiley face)

love the high degree of elegance exhibited on this forum

:lol: Oh yes, we are really one highbrow bunch.......

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that wacky list you posted, Jess.....was JUST thinking about it the other day, because I told Gail to sit in a parked car in a parking lot and aim a blow dryer at people....

the WHOLE LIST makes me snortle............ (mad cackling face)

Hi Sillies!

Wow did my mom and I had fun. We took a roadtrip to Allentown to thrift shop. We had a ball. We had Sabrina with us too and everyone just marveled over her. Last night my mom and I met my sister at Red Robin and we had a great meal. Other than the bitter cold and the snow at my moms I had a great time. I miss seeing my mom. We get closer every day. :)

Yay! :) good times w/ mom.

I first heard this expression while visiting a friend's cottage which had well water and a septic tank.

Sarah, our pregnant employee, was talking to us today about how she was growing out of her clothes. Yesterday, she could not do her jeans up, and had to go to the mall to buy maternity slacks. I could not help thinking of...never mind. ROTFLOL

:lol: Our Silly lil' thread really carries over into everyday life, doesn't it?

Gee, I'm beginning to feel guilty about flushing each pee.... :unsure: Maybe I'll try not flushing every time. Can't guarantee anything, though :P

I'll keep everyone posted

(I know ya'll will be on the edge of your seats for that report)

yes, Patti, I wait with baited breath on the edge of my TOILET seat....... :lol: and Nicola, I don't think it's the WATER police who are watchign her...... it's the Wee Police...... :lol:

...just to give you an idea about 'top gear' ...Open Original Shared Link...3 blokes, test drives cars to the extreme...turn them into boats ...LOL, what ever takes their fancy with MUCH jocularity and mad cap antics (Bev fancies the little fella )

Who's coming over for Sunday nights episode?? (bring your own LOL suit)

<raising hand frenetically>

I AM!!!!!!!!! :D OMG - - that amphibious car scene......made me guffaw, but only because of how hard they were laughing at themselves..... :lol: Oh yes, I will sit on your divan eating your snacks and snortling over that show, ANY time!!!!!! (never seen it before, or even heard of it - but British shows ARE the funniest, no doubt)

We're not doing anything too exciting--will probably stop at Starbucks in our travels today. We're buying the paint for our bedroom/bath. Guess you know what we'll be doing the rest of the weekend

:huh: OMG - Patti's entire house will be painted within two months of living there.......mine? goign on three years here and only one-third of it painted..... (well, please, I WAS stinking tired and exhausted from undiagnosed Celiac for the first whole year, gimme a break - but - um, what's my excuse now? :ph34r:Laaaaaaaaaaazy, slovenly, squalid hag...........)

Well, if you want to collect it in your garage and then drive it to the center yourself, that's free, but you are billed for curb pick up . . . so most people don't do it and just throw everything into the trash. I think you should have free recycling and have to pay per bag/can or trash. Then maybe these people around here would think about some of the stuff they are throwing in the landfill.

<_< See, this is why we're such pigs in America.....wasteful, consumerist, landfill-feeding country of wastrels and deviants and miscreants and........

oh, sorry :ph34r: ....don't get me started. I AM a tree hugger........ but w/ slight republican tendencies also.......hard to know FOR WHOM TO VOTE sometimes...... :blink:

Annnnnnnnd

Dingy's almost a California Raisin? Does the suit come w/ complementary (and complimentary) BIG sunglasses?? B)

Does Susie already know all the words to "Heard it Through the Grapevine?"

Singing IS mandatory once the suit goes on.

oh scary news on that!!!!! Jenn came over last night in her Old Navy burgundy coloUred LOL suit.........she said on the phone, OH! I"ll wear it over so you can see what it looks like (bloody freaking RIGHT, she is over 5' 8" and weighs about 115 pounds.......... BAH! 'tis most decidedly NOT what it will look like (devil face)) So.....I am VERY VERY askeert that this "raisin" coloUr is going to be burgundy........which is the WORST coloUr I can wear (second only to yellow).......it it's burgundy, it's SOOO going back immediately........

So I made Jenn look at SCADS and HUNDREDS of photos of my formerly fascinating dual life - glamorous, the one part and wilderness immersion, the other......she was astonished, stunned, and enchanted all at once......I must say it felt quite satisfying to FORCE - ha ha - a newcomer into my world (only known her two years) to witness that I actually USED to have quite a fun and interesting life......... :lol:

SILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'tis a sunny day and I must walk my girl now....

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
:lol: I was in a movie w/ Leif Garrett!

Terrible movie called 'Thunder Alley', not to be confused w/ Thunder Road or any other Thunder movie.

Well, well...seems Ptaum is a closet thesapian!!!! :lol:

We are going skating on the Rideau Canal, just open yesterday as we've had things too mild for it to open till now...it's the longest skating rink in the world! (9 kilometres, I believe)

This sounds FAB!!!!

We Brits rely on fake tiny rinks that crop up over London in the winter & charge you the earth to use for ONE HOUR!!! :angry:

We pay high property taxes here, but it covers all garbage and recycling pick-up...and they take everything. Fridges, mattresses, probably even corpses...they even have three or four days a year where you can put out your toxic-type garbage--paint cans, batteries, etc., and they dispose of it all for you. A good system....

Our waste & recycling is picked up once a week (covered by 'council tax')....but anything big you either take it to the rubbish dump yourself or pay for the council to pick it up .....dunno about corpses....they probably sell 'em on to the local hospital for spare parts :blink:

it's the Wee Police...... :lol:

Oh heck!!,....do you think they'll nick me for weeing too much?!?!? :unsure:

<raising hand frenetically>

I AM!!!!!!!!! :D OMG - - that amphibious car scene......made me guffaw, but only because of how hard they were laughing at themselves..... :lol: Oh yes, I will sit on your divan eating your snacks and snortling over that show, ANY time!!!!!! (never seen it before, or even heard of it - but British shows ARE the funniest, no doubt)

Of course!!...a right laugh :lol: ...crumbs on the bed....Terry will make tea/coffee (keeps him busy)

:huh: OMG - Patti's entire house will be painted within two months of living there.......mine? goign on three years here and only one-third of it painted.....

:lol::lol::lol:

I've lived in my house..ummm 14YEARS and it still isn't finished!!!!! (actually don't think it ever will be now...sort of given up.. :lol: )

(bloody freaking RIGHT, she is over 5' 8" and weighs about 115 pounds.......... BAH! 'tis most decidedly NOT what it will look like (devil face))

:lol::lol: ....it's tough having skinny friends

(So I made Jenn look at SCADS and HUNDREDS of photos of my formerly fascinating dual life - glamorous, the one part and wilderness immersion, the other......she was astonished, stunned, and enchanted all at once......I must say it felt quite satisfying to FORCE - ha ha - a newcomer into my world (only known her two years) to witness that I actually USED to have quite a fun and interesting life......... :lol:

...BUT you got your revenge in the end :lol: .....only joking....your past whirlwing life sounds FAB!!!! B)

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blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

I so want to go ice-skating! That sounds fun Emily!

We are going to dinner soon and then maybe bowling.

I cannot wait until warmer weather comes, it makes your weekend options grow.

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
:lol: I was in a movie w/ Leif Garrett!

Terrible movie called 'Thunder Alley', not to be confused w/ Thunder Road or any other Thunder movie.

Filmed in Tucson, I was a mere extra, of course, but did get ~3sec onscreen w/ just 2 other ppl.

Leif did show at a plain ole house party one weekend tho. He was well past his prime and we didn't care. :lol:

I don't suppose we could find you on youtube, huh?

Is that with the Cub Scouts? We call it the Cub Car Rally, and it is great fun. DS's cars have always done pitifully. The same weasely little kid wins every year...in fact, I suspect he's a sick little adult with an engineering Phd, decked out in a little cub uniform. he's been winning for ten years or something... <_<:rolleyes:

Oh yes, that's us!!!! My son is actually 27 but he's small for his age and we pass him off as an 8-yr old.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Oh yes, that's us!!!! My son is actually 27 but he's small for his age and we pass him off as an 8-yr old.

*snoooooort*

um, hi, hello, guess what Ptaum, I ALSO was an extra in TWO movies!!!!!!!!!! ha ha, one in Fresno and one, EdTV w/ my deep love (until he became weird and stinky :blink: ) Matthew McConnaughey. I was on set w/ MM the day we filmed, and nearly fainted. :wub:

I WANT TO BE AN EXTRA FULL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Well, well...seems Ptaum is a closet thesapian!!!! :lol:

...Tom is, in fact, a Renaissance Man.... :);)

This sounds FAB!!!!

We Brits rely on fake tiny rinks that crop up over London in the winter & charge you the earth to use for ONE HOUR!!! :angry:

WHAAAAAT?! You are charged to skate on piddly city rinks? OMG. You must come here, Nikki...we are in some respects a niave, young, bass-ackwards country, but we have the most incredible outdoor winter sports facilities (free, yet!), and superb waste pick-up service. :lol: I must admit, though, I haven't seen too many Laugh-Out-Loud outfits being donned by my fellow Canuck women. Perhaps the craze hasn't hit here, as yet.... :rolleyes:

...they probably sell 'em on to the local hospital for spare parts :blink:

Corpses....I'm in quite an industrious city, so here the municipality probably uses them for barricades along the canal, and stacks 'em up for boards around the public rinks. :o:lol::lol:

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
I don't suppose we could find you on youtube, huh?

Not bloody likely. Saw it once and I could barely stay interested enough to get thru it!

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
.. .. I ALSO was an extra in TWO movies!!!!!!!!!! ha ha, one in Fresno and one, EdTV

No name for the Fresno one?

I guess the "TWO" means you don't count San Fernando Valley ones anymore?

:o :o :o:lol:

I was in another too. <and tom reluctantly reveals the title figuring any resulting comedy is worth the . .. ...what's the word? . .. .tick-tock .. . .I give up . .. >

It's REVENGE OF THE NERDS!!!!!

Annnnnnd, people told me I was in a Stones concert movie! :D '81 tour I think.

I WANT TO BE AN EXTRA FULL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes:

Have you forgotten how boooo00000oooooring it was???

Corpses....I'm in quite an industrious city, so here the municipality probably uses them for barricades along the canal, and stacks 'em up for boards around the public rinks. :o:lol::lol:

<wince> Gah Em!! "along the canal" or along the Styx?

And serving a purpose at the rink!! Did I miss the start of the Disturbing & Macabre Image contest? :ph34r:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
I was in another too. <and tom reluctantly reveals the title figuring any resulting comedy is worth the . .. ...what's the word? . .. .tick-tock .. . .I give up . .. >

It's REVENGE OF THE NERDS!!!!!

:lol::lol::lol: Where??? Where??? What scene??? I HAVE TO KNOW!!!!!

I can't believe I am surrounded by all of this . . . stardom? Movie Stars and Celiac Celebrity SpokesModels!!! What have I got to compare?? A couple of interviews on the news? They were both speaking parts . . . does that count?

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Yup - I had cancer when I was 16. 2 years of chemo and radiation. You could say that my whole high school experience sucked on ice. Cancer was actually the trigger for my celiac, but I didn't get diagnosed until I was 34.

I remember reading what you wrote about that on another thread. Thank goodness you came through it and are ok now :)

:lol: I was in a movie w/ Leif Garrett!

Years ago, my little sister and I were extras in a local commercial. :P

My DH (undiagnosed celiac, for sure) has more disgusting flatulence than anyone I've ever known. So, we challenged him to keep track for one whole day. Well, yesterday morning he was at 20 before he made it to the breakfast table. He was sending me emails from his office...11:45--38. 1:30--51. 3:30--79. As we sat down to dinner he figured he was right at 100. Then, after supper all hell broke loose, and he lost count at around 150. It's an interesting family activity... :huh::lol:

OMG--this is the funniest thing I've heard all day! :lol::lol::lol:

yes, Patti, I wait with baited breath on the edge of my TOILET seat.......

Don't think I can do it! I'm a flusher B)

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
OMG--this is the funniest thing I've heard all day! :lol::lol::lol:

:lol: yes!!! (Thx for the reminder Patti)

Emails?????? :lol::lol:

"After dinner all hell broke loose" :lol::lol:

"Lost count"!! :lol::lol: :lol: :lol:

Emily? Will he not even TRY gluten-free?

Tell him I say it might make him wake up happier every day than in DECades!!

I suppose he could never be a stealthy spy. (Or an elevator operator :lol::ph34r: )

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
I suppose he could never be a stealthy spy. (Or an elevator operator :lol::ph34r: )

I'm assuming it would be pretty hard to sneak up on someone :lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
I can't believe I am surrounded by all of this . . . stardom? Movie Stars and Celiac Celebrity SpokesModels!!! What have I got to compare?? A couple of interviews on the news? They were both speaking parts . . . does that count?

I know I am having my picture taken for Wegmans on the 15th. We have been planning all last week. I noticed they are very on top of things.

I'm assuming it would be pretty hard to sneak up on someone :lol:

I have done it to John without him knowing.....he didn't like it

So the surprise was dinner and some time at The Colliseum, which is a bar/sports complex....with arcade games. There is bowling there. It is different. John got his own suprise, it started snowing and the roads actually got white. He loves snow! We had dinner at Red Robin, which I am going to post about in the gluten free dining section, of the two locations I was at in the past 2 days, both very celiac friendly. I was so happy. :)

We might watch the new Halloween movie tonight. Hopefully the neighbors keep quiet. I am not up for any shannigans tonight.

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
. . .. . What have I got to compare?? A couple of interviews on the news? They were both speaking parts . . . does that count?

Oooh!! Oooooh!! :blink:

Were you IN the bank during a heist?

:ph34r: <------ unidentified masked gunman

Or just commenting, at the local Sinclair, many years ago, at the outrageous $2.50/gal gas prices??

Oh no!!!! Not one of those "well nobody really knew him. . .. .kept to himself. .. .. .seemed nice enough - we'd wave while getting the mail" neighboUr interviews!!!!!! :o

Uhhhhhh favorable comments on the newly opened Outlet Mall out past the bypass freeway confluence?

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
Well one of John's best surprises was when he took me to Atlantic City and proposed on the beach. He had planned to do it on top of the Lighthouse there but the lighthouse closed for some odd reason that day.

How romantic!!! :D

Terry proposed to me several times :lol: .....kept him at arms length.....but he wore me down in the end :rolleyes:

Corpses....I'm in quite an industrious city, so here the municipality probably uses them for barricades along the canal, and stacks 'em up for boards around the public rinks. :o:lol::lol:

Nose pegs provided??? :(

..but maybe London should do that??.....it would certainately solve the problem of no room in the cemetaries.....I'll get a note off to the Mayor of London..... :lol:

I am not up for any shannigans tonight.

Poor John... :lol: .......oh wait....you meant the neighboUrs.......sorry ;)

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

Oops - double post

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Emily? Will he not even TRY gluten-free?

I suppose he could never be a stealthy spy. (Or an elevator operator :lol::ph34r: )

Boy, got that right....Or a cabbie....and as his episodic outbursts are incredibly loud (waking me up in the night), many other professions would be a no-go...radio/TV broadcaster, tour guide, librarian... :rolleyes:

I suspected that he was celiac as soon as I was diagnosed and learned about it all...then last year his brother was diagnosed (Surprise!). So, Will's blood panel and biopsy were negative, and we are presently awaiting the results from Enterolab. He's very open to any and all of this, and actually he set Feb. 1st as his first day of gluten-free eating. I will now make a point of reporting in here how things are faring. I wonder if gluten-free eating, along with reducing the rank stench that awakens me through the night, will take care of the rankness of his hockey bag?..... :rolleyes:<_<

This past autumn, Will was walking with DS home from the park, and as they passed by our neighboUr's house, the older man came out of the house. "Hey, guys!", he said, approaching them and holding out a bag of freshed-picked beans from his garden, "We've got too many beans comin' up for Doris and I to eat. Would you like to have these?"

The minute he said this, DH let out what was apparently the loudest, longest, bubbling fart to date. My son immediately turned and speedwalked home, no looking back. Our old neighboUr stopped and stared at Will, obviously speechless. How to take this? As a hint, like, "No thanks! Sure don't need any of those!" or as a snide slough-off, like "Well, did you hear that? What do you think?"

Simply HEINOUS. This all must stop.....

Incidentally, he accepted the beans with a hearty thank-you, and left our old neighboUr with yet another reason to really wonder about that family near the corner... :lol:

Oh no!!!! Not one of those "well nobody really knew him. . .. .kept to himself. .. .. .seemed nice enough - we'd wave while getting the mail" neighboUr interviews!!!!!!

:lol::lol:

Must print and save this for use in what could be any number of in-laws' eulogies....

Nose pegs provided??? :(

If not, I have a storehouse here I can provide them...living with whom I do... :rolleyes:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Good Sunday morning Emily :D

Too stinkin (get it? :P ) funny about your husband! I think you're right and there are 2 Celiacs in the family.

I'm coming to you all courtesy of my husband :lol: He brought me tea in bed, along with my laptop. :wub: So, I'm languishing here in my jammies. :D

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

WOW, Emily!!!!!!!

Fancy your BIL having cOeliac too!!!!!!!

Must make family gatherings slightly easier.........funny bean story :lol:

I'm coming to you all courtesy of my husband :lol: He brought me tea in bed, along with my laptop. :wub: So, I'm languishing here in my jammies. :D

You lucky thing!!!!......I don't EVER get such luxuries........NEVER even seem to get a lie-in these days :rolleyes: ......do you feel sorry for me yet?......must get on with ironing (HEINOUS) school uniforms and stuff...it's all work, work........

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Hi everyone! Happy Sunday!

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      Inconclusive results

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      This is a challenging and confusing situation. The combination of a positive EMA—which is a highly specific marker rarely yielding false positives—alongside strongly elevated TTG on two separate occasions, years apart, is profoundly suggestive of celiac disease, even in the absence of biopsy damage. This pattern strongly aligns with what is known as "potential celiac disease," where the immune system is clearly activated, but intestinal damage has not yet become visible under the microscope. Your concern about the long-term risk of continued gluten consumption is valid, especially given your family's experience with the consequences of delayed diagnosis. Since your daughter is now at an age where her buy-in is essential for a gluten-free lifestyle, obtaining a definitive answer is crucial for her long-term adherence and health. Given that she is asymptomatic yet serologically positive, a third biopsy now, after a proper 12-week challenge, offers the best chance to capture any microscopic damage that may have developed, providing the concrete evidence needed to justify the dietary change. This isn't about wanting her to have celiac; it's about wanting to prevent the insidious damage that can occur while waiting for symptoms to appear, and ultimately giving her the unambiguous "why" she needs to accept and commit to the necessary treatment. This article might be helpful. It breaks down each type of test, and what a positive results means in terms of the probability that you might have celiac disease. One test that always needs to be done is the IgA Levels/Deficiency Test (often called "Total IGA") because some people are naturally IGA deficient, and if this is the case, then certain blood tests for celiac disease might be false-negative, and other types of tests need to be done to make an accurate diagnosis. The article includes the "Mayo Clinic Protocol," which is the best overall protocol for results to be ~98% accurate.    
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