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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Oooh! Oooh!!! I could do this in the elevator!!

<tom's not much past walkway-hellos w/ neighboUrs, tho the assassin has ok'd sax practice>

OMG, yes....an elevator can offer up the most fabulous, tragic, comedic av material......!! A ripe storehouse.....

:lol:

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tom Contributor
tom
Posted
OH NO HE ISN"T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You simply MUST get a photo of this guy - - I don't care if you hang out on the..........on the............the ................LANAI <yup, that's the word> all day, you WILL get his photo!!!!!!!! :lol:

I wanna see your assassin, Ptaoughmn..... :lol:

I'm no longer positive you two have my best interests in mind! :ph34r:

:lol:

:unsure: um...........missed this - did I? what does that mean?

Mefinks I too thinly referenced Em's Dad's telethon bikeathon co-host mountathon joke?

Hey!! :taichiman: did no falling in Yours Truly's lap....Hadda steal out real sneaky-like, peeking through shrubbery, maintaining utter silence......a challenge, indeed.

Does the Ripper have his own camera? Cuz THIS I wanna see!!

Like a "The Making of _____" documentary.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

OMG

OMG

OMG

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breaking news - this just in - - -

Auditions are being held in a couple of weeks for the next season of The Bachelor, and Fluffy Kat (Jenn) is being FORCED to audition, by her family, and now by yours truly, since I've gotten wind of it........

:lol:

:lol:

:lol:

:lol:

I'm outta my MIND over this..........................................

:P

dragonsrebel Rookie
dragonsrebel
Posted

This is for all the moms out there

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office,

was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

"What I mean is, " explained the recorder,

"do you have a job or are you just a ..?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.

"I'm a Mom."

"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,

'housewife' covers it,"

Said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself

in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.

The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,

efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,

"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know.

The words simply popped out.

"I'm a Research Associate in the field of

Child Development and Human Relations."

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in m midair and

looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.

Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,

in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest,

"just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,

I heard myself reply,

"I have a continuing program of research,

(what mother doesn't)

In the laboratory and in the field,

(normally I would have said indoors and out).

I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)

and already have four credits (all daughters).

Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,

(any mother care to disagree?)

and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).

But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers

and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she

completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,

I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.

Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,

(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,

testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!

And I had gone on the official records as someone more

distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."

Motherhood!

What a glorious career!

Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers

"Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations"

And great grandmothers

"Executive Senior Research Associates?"

I think so!!!

I also think it makes Aunts "

Associate Research Assistants."

I hope I posted this right :P

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

dragonsrebel, welcome. This is a fun place to be. Your story about the job of being mom is great.

We share funny things, and things about our daily lives here in Sillyville. This is the second-longest continuing thread on the forum, and one day we hope to catch up to the front-running OMG (Rachelville) thread. In the meantime, we are number two and so we try harder.

If you haven't done so, get comfy with your choice of relaxing beverage, and have a look at this thread. It really doesn't get rolling until page 200 or so, but read the first few posts anyway (if you haven't) and then jump forward.

There are three Canadian regulars here, all in Ontario.

Again, welcome aboard!

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
That's it, cranky totem

:angry:

<_< <_< <_< <_<

:angry:

:angry:

:angry:

:angry:

:lol: :lol:

The poor dog. Looks very uncomfortable.

And dragonsrebel jumps right in with a fresh joke WooHOO!

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

the wave

:mellow:;) ;):) :) :)^_^B)^_^:) :) :);) ;) :mellow:

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Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of

Child Development and Human Relations."

FABULOUS!!! :lol:

I just wish we got hazard pay. <_<

:lol:

tom Contributor
tom
Posted

Hi Dragonsrebel,

Any chance of a yeti above Crowsnest Pass?

FluffyKat Bachelorforced! :o

<fun to say>

the wave

:mellow:;) ;):) :) :)^_^B)^_^:) :) :);) ;) :mellow:

Whooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Morning Sillies!

Almost to the weekend!!!!! I cannot wait! We are doing a surprise Mothers Day picnic for my mom, we are all showing up at her house (she thinks I am coming to help her get some yard sale stuff done...) and we are cooking lunch and spending the day with her. I am so excited. I hope the rainy weather does not come that day!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Morning, All!

Hey! Have we got a new Silly?! Misty! And I wasn't on here last night to scare you away with my.....well....I don't really know what...But welcome! Another Canuck is needed...now, King Peter will have to approve of this, but I think that Canadian citizenship should exclude you from the otherwise cumpulsory final essay question on the Sillyville Entrance Exam, asking why you are applying to be a Sillyville Subject. Gad, it should be obvious - - there are so many silly things about this vast, young, niave country, we need to spread it around... :lol:

Yes, have you seen a yeti in any rural parts of Alberta? He may be sporting Mickey Mouse ears......

Great Mom story! :lol:

I'm no longer positive you two have my best interests in mind!

Likely not. We just wanna see the mafia/assassin-type before he suddenly has to disappear.... :lol:

Does the Ripper have his own camera? Cuz THIS I wanna see!!

Like a "The Making of _____" documentary.

:lol::lol:

What a superb idea! Perhaps for a great-final-report-card present...Could then let him loose with his wild ideas to capture on film...

Auditions are being held in a couple of weeks for the next season of The Bachelor, and Fluffy Kat (Jenn) is being FORCED to audition, by her family, and now by yours truly, since I've gotten wind of it........

Hilarious! OMG - - Sickeningly degrading and pandering to the vilest voyeurism in modern society, but hilarious!! :lol::lol:

We share funny things, and things about our daily lives here in Sillyville. This is the second-longest continuing thread on the forum, and one day we hope to catch up to the front-running OMG (Rachelville) thread. In the meantime, we are number two and so we try harder.

If you haven't done so, get comfy with your choice of relaxing beverage, and have a look at this thread. It really doesn't get rolling until page 200 or so, but read the first few posts anyway (if you haven't) and then jump forward.

There are three Canadian regulars here, all in Ontario.

Again, welcome aboard!

The Great King and Oracle has spoken. :):lol:

Peter has taken on the Royal duties admirably - - welcoming new subjects, giving vital introductory information....truly a kingly king.

Um, Peter......

Ya forgot to mention the Bizarre NeighboUr Avatar Requirement....and she should be made aware of the hover question, and perhaps be briefed on the intricacies of phart-charting....

OMG.....Imagine if I were Queen?? :lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Happy Birthday Sarah!!!!! Hope today is nice for you!

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SILLY SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miss Luckypants has :tai-chi-face: fall in her lap and now we're pressured to find interesting neighboUrs????? <_<:P:lol:

It almost feels like cheating to recycle my phaericide phhhhoto.

One neighboUr's gone "on business" on weekends a lot. I think he's an assassin. I'll never get a pic w/out risking my life .. . ..so he's out.

The phaericide photo knows no bounds (nor should it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

An assassino? Ahh...muy bien! A James Bond perhaps!!!!!

Soosie- You NO give nice Kissey boy that eeeeevil poison oak DYE-RECT-LEE!!!!!!!! You BE NICE!!!!!!!

OMG

Auditions are being held in a couple of weeks for the next season of The Bachelor, and Fluffy Kat (Jenn) is being FORCED to audition, by her family, and now by yours truly, since I've gotten wind of it........

I'm outta my MIND over this..........................................

OMGAWD- that's cool!!!!!!!!!!! It would be so fun to watch it if we knew a Friend of Silly was on it!!!!!! She must get on!!!

And dragonsrebel jumps right in with a fresh joke WooHOO!

Welcome new silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Welcome new silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Where are my manners? Welcome!! :D

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SILLY SARAH!!!

---------------------------@

---------------------------/-\

--------------------------/-- \

-------------------------/---- \

------------------------/ ------\

-----------------------/_______ \

----------------------/""""""""""""""\

---------------------(I- (0) (0)-- I)

----------------------I--- ^----- I

----------------------(--\___/--- )

---------------------- \________/

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted

Thank you for the birthday wishes!!!!!!!!!!!

Emily! You are such an artiste! Fabulous!!! :lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

EMILY! OMG! what in hell was that clever thing???? (Susie, jealous of Em's graphic talents)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:) :) :) :) :) :)

doesn't she turn 30 today? it's a BIG 'un!

Um, where has Janet been?

okay - got a silly for you:

HILLBILLY VASECTOMY

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more kids.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but that it was rather expensive.

"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I ain't the smartest tool in the shed, but how's putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear gonna help me?"

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count... < BR>

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

(you'll love this......)

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

(This procedure also works in Louisiana , Mississippi , Georgia , and in parts of Montana & Florida .)

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
(This procedure also works in Louisiana , Mississippi , Georgia , and in parts of Montana & Florida .)

:rolleyes::lol:

Yes, I was wondering about Janet, as well...... :huh:

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

Hello, all,

Happy

Birthday

Sarah!

I'm not really up to the kind of phancy graphics that Emily does.

=^..^=

We'll have to settle for that little kitty.

Hillbilly vasectomy! :D:lol::D

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

King Peter!!!!!

Well.....I think we're going to see that poodle pup this Saturday...... :):):)

I think.......

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Loved the Hillbilly Vasectomy...just passed that around to my office ppl

Where are my manners? Welcome!! :D

Patti-I didn't know you came equipped with those ;) just kidding!

So I emailed about my picture and when the big debut would be and have not heard back yet.....Maybe it wont happen....maybe I should boycott the store!

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:) :) :) :) :) :)

doesn't she turn 30 today? it's a BIG 'un!

30!!!

Darned kids

Oh well, Happy birthday anyway :D

tom Contributor
tom
Posted

HAPPY B-DAY SARAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ooooh Amanda! Surprise Mom's Day picnic sounds very nice!

Wow Emily's an ascii-art Wizard!!

:lol: hillbilly vasectomy!!

(& :lol: at 1st sentence's "as they could not afford a larger bed" )

Janet??? Yoohoo??

<tom was wondering too>

Nice kitty Your Highness!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

Yes, I must agree, love Oracle King's kitty art............................

OMG -

ITCHIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:mellow:

^_^

:wacko:

<um, have I already mentioned taht today? so sorry :ph34r: >

Em - did you say you were seeing the poodle pup on Saturday?????????? Well, she's as good as yours, eh?????

:rolleyes:

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