The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[celiac-mommy]

Please glue me eyes shut!!! I'd take 6 days rather than the red lights--I LOATHE red lights!!

Although I couldn't get on the computer, I was wif y'all in spirit as I too was doin laundry, trying to wash all the strep throat outta my house. Kids are still OK....... Hubby should be OK since he hasn't come near me since last Tuesday, happy Valentine's Day to me He did, however, send me out of the house on Saturday to spend the day by myself with the rule of spending every cent he gave me! I bought a pair of jeans and had my hair and makeup done for our dinner/movie night. Too bad I was exhausted by the time dinner came around

Talking of docs, - Tel got the results of his 'stress test' he had done on his heart.....there were abnormalities and they want him now to have an angiogram

WIH??? 6 weeks is completely unacceptable!!!

Listen to yourself, girl! You absolutely are NOT! Coulda happened to anyone of us and none of us are unfit parents or terrible persons

Agreed!!!!! Remember when I lost my son while standing 10 feet away from him at the park and poor kid thought I would actually have left him there so he walked home on his own (and then my MIL told me God was punishing us and I was going to Hell)??? I'm still trying to make up for that one!! What about the time he was walking in front of me last spring and I accidentally kneed him in the back and his face hit the pacement chipping the corner of his tooth and practically breaking his nose.....I could go on like this for a while

[nikki-uk]

alas, we were innocently driving to my parents'........returning their large Shop Vac......Weez was in back of Jeep (seat is always folded down, making the back flat).....looking out her rear side window, as always, as the dingos are wont to do.........I braked and turned right........Shop Vac went HURTLING forward and hit her - _{she FLEW out of the car and onto the curb}

I SCREECHED on the brakes and got my baby she has two nicks in the top of paw, and cut her upper rear pad

Oh SOOze!!!

Just glad the l'il love bug is ok.

...and you ain't a 'terrible person'.... not by a long chalk, trust me.

to bed.........and NOT going to billionaire's house tomorrow.........need a new crown, filling is crumbling (near front of mouth, is apparent) and going to cost about a thousand dollars

C R A P

I feel your pain

Do any of your dentists offer payment plans (monthly?)

GADS ... sure is criminal whot they charge for a crown..... although we have waiting lists at least we have the NHS to pay for some of the cost here.

....so I decided, I MUST start doing the 'EURO MILLIONS' lottery. Someone from England won it this week.

56 MILLION POUNDS

dEAR GAAAAWD, for that kind of money I'm buying all me Psills a complete new set of veneers/teeth WITH implants where you want them

Feeling EXTREMELY PHAT!!... had a FOUR hour pub lunch with 2 girlfriends...... may have put on A STONE in that time....wait 2 STONE altogether including Saturday night's feasting.

Gotta stop going out EATING!!!

[kareng]

Agreed!!!!! Remember when I lost my son while standing 10 feet away from him at the park and poor kid thought I would actually have left him there so he walked home on his own (and then my MIL told me God was punishing us and I was going to Hell)??? I'm still trying to make up for that one!! What about the time he was walking in front of me last spring and I accidentally kneed him in the back and his face hit the pacement chipping the corner of his tooth and practically breaking his nose.....I could go on like this for a while

My 17 year old son still gives me trouble for when I was carrying him (about 18months old)& my heel broke & i fell down the stairs. Barely broke his little leg. Better without a cast in 2 weeks.

MIL was probably just waiting for an excuse to tell you to go to Hell.

[Mtndog]

Oh me Psillies- I am woefully behind! So sorry Queen Janet. Obsessively watching the Olympics and loving it! I adore Apolo Ohno but especially Alexandre and Frederick (A won men's moguls and F is his brother with cerebral palsy). They are so inspiring!

And, if you haven't been on Da Book- I WENT SKIING for the first time in 3 years! :lol: I only lasted an hour or so and it wasn't really a mountain- we call it Bradford Bump. But oh what a feeling!

Oh Siouxie- You are NOT a bad mom.....so glad Weezee is OK. Angus says "Lick, lick, lick. WOOF!" which translates roughly as "I kiss you all better. Me hate ALL vacumns too!" :wub: And he loves her too.

On the question, I'll take the red lights please! NO ONE is gluing me eyes shut, ever. I actually don't mind red lights either- music, thinking, sipping me drink, checking me face. Looking around people watching.

I've missed you all- it's going to be a crazy week. Kurt's surprise party is this Saturday at 7:00- you're all coming right? They make really strong drinks where we're having it (and they is CHEAP!).

Nikki- Do you have a boiler yet?

Karen- I love your pupsters!

[celiac-mommy]

MIL was probably just waiting for an excuse to tell you to go to Hell.

Well, I've sure been waiting for an excuse to return the sentiment!

[elye]

Rah-shyelle! You've washed that strep right outta yer house. . .. .good news. Stay well......!

MIL was probably just waiting for an excuse to tell you to go to Hell.

Hmph. Mine needs no excuse, but she never says such things -- just stares with narrowed eyes, thin, British lips drawn into a tight line, and thinks them. .. .... . . ..

I adore Apolo Ohno but especially Alexandre and Frederick (A won men's moguls and F is his brother with cerebral palsy). They are so inspiring!

Yes! The cutie from Montreal! What a great story.. . . ......

ANNNNNND... . . ...I believe it is THEEEE big hockey match-up (well, in mens' anyways -- the women play a much more passionate, exciting game, methinks) this Sunday - - Canada vs USA... .how exciting.....canna stand it. . .. . .... .. .

Bevel! I saw yer pics on Da Book! How fantastic to be on the slopes again! (Even if it was a bump....it counts!) I am a pathetic downhill skier, and as a result I loathe it. I fall, and swear, and am perpetually freezing. . . .. . .... . .gah, the first level in hell involves soaring ski hills pour moi. ... ...

A big party for Kurt?? I think it is a big birthday for him.. . . ...is he forty?

[celiac-mommy]

To preface, I had to do a transesophageal echocardiogram at noon today (upper gi ultrasound of the heart)with a doc who seems to fancy me, in a totally harmless-we're both married-sort of way--and the guys I work with totally give me a bad time about it. This is the conversation that just occured when I walked into the room:

Boys: "How was your nooner?"

Me: "Fine."

Boys: "Just 'fine'?"

Me: "Well, he had to put it in and pull out 3 times to stop the gagging"

Boys: Rolling on the floor

Me: Laughing with them at me since I'm such an easy target

Me: Coughing fit, I say, "Oh, feels like there's something stuck in my throat"

Boys: I fear will not recover for the rest of the day

[elye]

Boys: "How was your nooner?"

Me: "Fine."

Boys: "Just 'fine'?"

Me: "Well, he had to put it in and pull out 3 times to stop the gagging"

Boys: Rolling on the floor

Me: Laughing with them at me since I'm such an easy target

Me: Coughing fit, I say, "Oh, feels like there's something stuck in my throat"

Boys: I fear will not recover for the rest of the day

GAH.. . .....

I wanna workplace like this!! I never get to do nooners with diplomats who fancy me, let alone doctors. .. . .....and you is surrounded by funny boys!

[jerseyangel]

nooner

Hi sills--the day just got away from me! Mark is in San Antonio at a 3 day conference for work and I've been cleaning.....

Which reminds me--I know I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer and I'm from the northeast, but who else thought that The Alamo was out on a dusty range somewhere in Texas? I did, and was surprised to learn that it's actually located right around the corner from the hotel and convention center where Mark is staying. It's in the middle of the city Whoda thunk

Loved the figure skating last night--was pulling for the team from Canada, such nice looking couple, but the couple who won from China were breathtaking.

How's Weezie today Suz? Loved the message from Angus

What else....shoulda quoted.....

[Mtndog]

Hmph. Mine needs no excuse, but she never says such things -- just stares with narrowed eyes, thin, British lips drawn into a tight line, and thinks them. .. .... . . ..

ANNNNNND... . . ...I believe it is THEEEE big hockey match-up (well, in mens' anyways -- the women play a much more passionate, exciting game, methinks) this Sunday - - Canada vs USA... .how exciting.....canna stand it. . .. . .... .. .

gah, the first level in hell involves soaring ski hills pour moi. ... ...

A big party for Kurt?? I think it is a big birthday for him.. . . ...is he forty?

Methinks you MIGHT be lucky as me MIL has lost her brain- mouth filter and the sh%$t that comes flying out sometimes amazes me. She told me that my 6 YEAR OLD niece moves and dressed in a very sensual way! Oh yeah- she's a real sexpot :blink:

Canna wait for that US Canada game! I was thinking of Sophie watching the poor women's Slovakian goalie try to hold the Canadian women's hockey team at bay with a final score of 18-0. And she was a GREAT goalie. You Canucks DO hockey!

Your quote on skiing For me the first level of Hell is flat

Kurt turns 40 on Saturday. Shhhh, he still doesn't know!

Boys: "How was your nooner?"

Me: "Fine."

Boys: "Just 'fine'?"

Me: "Well, he had to put it in and pull out 3 times to stop the gagging"

Boys: Rolling on the floor

Me: Laughing with them at me since I'm such an easy target

Me: Coughing fit, I say, "Oh, feels like there's something stuck in my throat"

Boys: I fear will not recover for the rest of the day

My kind of co-workers! x 10

nooner

Hi sills--the day just got away from me! Mark is in San Antonio at a 3 day conference for work and I've been cleaning.....

Which reminds me--I know I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer and I'm from the northeast, but who else thought that The Alamo was out on a dusty range somewhere in Texas? I did, and was surprised to learn that it's actually located right around the corner from the hotel and convention center where Mark is staying. It's in the middle of the city Whoda thunk

The only thing I knew was that it was in Texas AND I was supposed to remember it.

Yes- How is the Weez? Angus sends

[elye]

Canna wait for that US Canada game! I was thinking of Sophie watching the poor women's Slovakian goalie try to hold the Canadian women's hockey team at bay with a final score of 18-0. And she was a GREAT goalie.

:angry: ((((((sigh)))))). . . . ......This truly bothers me, and a lot of other Canucks. I honestly do NOT believe that a sport should be part of the Olympics unless there are more than two countries with contending teams. I HATE to see these European girls slaughtered by us North Americans, simply because their countries don't have the money nor the interest to fund their training. 'Tis often a very unsportsmanlike, sad and even humiliating exercise for these poor Norwegian, Slovakian, Swiss girls. I think it makes us look bad. We need to wait until the rest of the world catches up in this incredible movement that is girls' hockey. It will come!

Yes, Sophie could not watch that game after the fifth goal -- think she felt sick for that li'l netminder!

Okay . . .. .....off me soapbox. . . ...... . . . Somebody help me down, here. .. .. ...

[kareng]

Not to ignore the other comments but I'm gonna: Got this email today:

Good afternoon,

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If you have any other concern, please feel free to contact us.

Thank you for your interest in Grand Marnier products!

Team Marnier Lapostolle Inc.

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Life is Good!!!

Actually would have been better with a coupon or free sample.

[mushroom]

Well, I is having a bah humbug day, three international long distance calls to USA in prime time trying to get peeps to do what they shoulda done long ago, one of them American Trouble and Toil (AT&T, or at&t I think it is now, to you)...grrrrr I'm agonna get those pholks

My oven door hinge is broke, the light won't go out and the master switch for the oven does not turn ANYTHING off They will call me when da hinge comes in (from Auckland, Switzerland???). There goes my electric bill this month.

Sky television is running four channels!!! of 24-hour Olympics (TOO much, methinks!) but when I first turned it on got nothing. Got service on the line, they "pinged" me smart card and presto, got service, but lost the ability to record anything, and they can nae fix it without the technician coming out, next MONDAY!! And Because the SKY recording box is in a stack rack have to get our own audio tech to come out to remove the stack from the rack onto runners so they can get access to da box cabling!!! So having them do other stuff while they're here (we're 45 minutes out of town). Expensive time and charges and mileage and. OUCH, me pocketbook is hurting. SKY better not try and bill me. So I have to watch the figure skating whenever it is on, like right now, and can nae record a darned thing. (At least saving electricity) . T'is not yet three pm and already I am having a glass of wine.

Keep thinking of Skeeter, Gianit, and hope you solve her problems soon. Hope Weezie is not too traumatized by his sudden departure from da veehickle and is back to old self (bet he avoids those vacs from now on).

I am one of those purists who disapproves of team sports of any kind in Olympics (except perhaps ice dancing and pairs), but I knows I am in the minority here. They is even talking about adding rugby!!! what a farce. Can you just see the Icelandic rugby team showing up (well, of course there was a Jamaican bobsled team, bless their hearts!)

Anything that is on snow and sliding has to be a sleigh pulled by horses for this gal

I once had a boss who wanted nooners!!! Could nae believe me naive little Kiwi ears. Apparently his previous secretary used to oblige, so continued on after she ceased working for him. He was definitely not my cuppa tea, thumbs too small.

[Lisa]

Hello Psillies! Premature post here and have about 20,000 post to catch up with. Think I'll just jump in.

HELLO ALL!

[jerseyangel]

Hello Psillies! Premature post here and have about 20,000 post to catch up with. Think I'll just jump in.

HELLO ALL!

Hi Lisa!!! (we will need to come up wif a silly spelling of yer name....it's required )

I wouldn't venture back if I were you.....people have gotten lost that way and the dingos had to be dispatched--jumping in is always best

[jerseyangel]

Well, I is having a bah humbug day

Gee willikers, Shroomie!! You are having a day fer yerself! I think you are handling it poifectly--wif a glass of wine.

[mushroom]

Egads, feeling better, just saw the next Yevgeny Plushenko skate - Artem Borodulin. I saw Yevgency in his year of emergence at Worlds in Minneapolis and said, he's one to watch. So is this dude. Charming to boot! Luv it!

[JNBunnie1]

HI!!!

[DingoGirl]

Soozle honey, thank goodness the Weez wasn't badly hurt. Poor thing must have been so scared. We do the best we can but things are still going to happen once in a while. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Listen to yourself, girl! You absolutely are NOT! Coulda happened to anyone of us and none of us are unfit parents or terrible persons

well thank you kindly _{but have you all noticed how many times you have had to say this to me in the last year or so???}

There was:

1. near-death from one drop of dog flea killer for Baby Kitteh

2. near-death from chocolate for Weez

3. ridiculous catapult and potentially QUITE serious hazard from Shop Vac and car ejection for Weez

what am I forgetting?

But my girl is okay, THANK GOD!! Just some surface injuries......but now some skin missing off her NOSE, I think from dog park and wild squirrel chase today.......very injury-prone, that girl.......

Dog- I'm speechless. Did that happen & he still speaks to you?

According to my dog: Bark" Woof growl! GRRRRRRRRR! Roughly translates to all Vacs are evil & attacking a dog whilst enjoying his car ride proves it.

Vacs ARE evil and a projectile Shop Vac in car, especially so. and yes, she is still speaking to me.

I *did* secure it the NEXT time I put it in the car to take to me mum's, 'tis safely there now and Weez will not see it again for quite a long time -

Crumbling toof.. . . ...heinous, and $$. . . ...

going to cost $925 for the crown, he does take payments.....

aren't crowns (and new tires, while we're at it) just incredibly unpleasurable ways to spend money???

[quote name='celiac-mommy' date='16 February 2010 - 10:32 AM'

Agreed!!!!! Remember when I lost my son while standing 10 feet away from him at the park and poor kid thought I would actually have left him there so he walked home on his own (and then my MIL told me God was punishing us and I was going to Hell)??? I'm still trying to make up for that one!! What about the time he was walking in front of me last spring and I accidentally kneed him in the back and his face hit the pacement chipping the corner of his tooth and practically breaking his nose.....I could go on like this for a while

[DingoGirl]

WHAT IN HELL????????

why did my post show up like that, inside a green box......with purple boxes (quotes) in it...........stuff *I* wrote quoted inside a quote box and...........

I give up...........going to bed but I DID write responses to some a youse guys stuff and it's mixed in w/ quotes and stuff????????

Sheesh. I don't like change.

[mushroom]

WHAT IN HELL????????

why did my post show up like that, inside a green box......with purple boxes (quotes) in it...........stuff *I* wrote quoted inside a quote box and...........

I give up...........going to bed but I DID write responses to some a youse guys stuff and it's mixed in w/ quotes and stuff????????

Sheesh. I don't like change.

Psoozle, you are there, All of you, don't know why you can't see yourself. It don't show up immediately any more because "the moderators" now have to "approve" all posts (so that we don't put in anyfink norty I spose)

[Jestgar]

Youse guys is beyond redemption. You are 'pre approved' just so the mods won't be forced to read your posts.

[Darn210]

Youse guys is beyond redemption. You are 'pre approved' just so the mods won't be forced to read your posts.

True Dat

Soozle!!! I thoroughly enjoyed that quoted quote doubly quoted post that you did. My first thought was . . . Heeeeyyyyy, how'd she do that??? She's got embedded quotes!!!! . . . but, I'm pretty sure you can't tell me.

Leesuh!!! Good to see you!!!

Shroom, I shall join you a little later for some whine wine.

Skeeter's doing fine at the moment. Of course we have no answers. Just sittin' around twiddlin' our thumbs waiting for doctors to talk to each other

JoDog hates vacuums . . . She won't even eat if I've been vacuuming and have left the vacuum cleaner too close to her food bowl (and by too close, I mean within 10 feet). Sometimes she can't get to her bowl because she would have to step over the cord to the vacuum (or even just walk next to it). Sometimes we use the vacuum to block her into the "office" when we have someone over that doesn't like dogs . . . works as good as a baby gate.

[kareng]

Trying to sum up all the ones I missed:

AT&T, Cable/Sky TV, Dentist - evil & annoying

Oven door - my microwave door just broke - is it catching?

Lisa - annoyed me sis Lisa by calling her Lee-Lee

Skating - wow!

Dog nose - Ow!

Strange post - possessed

Anything I missed - sorry, nothin personal

Almost forgot: I have healed me gut in record time! According to my GI, sm intestines heal completely in 7=10 days. Don't need to worry about those annoying large doses of vitamins because I can now absorb normally. Ain't it amazing? Miraculous! What an id-git!

[jerseyangel]

Wow Soozle.....that post was one fer the books!!!!

Argh Jan-it....waiting mode....they need to get together and figure this thing out fer Skeeter!

Khar-in...especially if you were sick for a while before starting the diet, it's gonna take longer but youse off to a good start--and you have us to keep ya company

Slept like a log last night--had the whole bed to meselph