The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Darn210 175]

OMG get me a hot French diplomat. HELLOOOOOOOOOOO, that's PERFECT!! Unless they're stinky.....Em, try to find out if they stink. I dated two stinky French athletes in college. Tennis players and soccer players in college, French and eye-talians. Working on teh language skills, ya know.

See now, Susie . . . there's your problem. You wanted a HOT French diplomat. When you're HOT, you sweat . . . resulting in, yes . . . stinky BO. Also, what were you thinking? Athletes? Of course, they sweat. You need to find yourself a nice looking couch potato.

[elye 96]

Yep, my post that you all may have missed (about five posts ago) as I edited and it took forever, addresses this stinky French thing.....

[JoyfulM 0]

I'm about to run out the door, but I had to check Tickle Me Elbow first...you corrupted me so fast.

Gah!! What? Brm? You use the ...brm...uh...bathroom?...to make chocolate cakes? Whoa....and they taste excellent?

...Gee...guess maybe I should try that....does one clean it first?

Just watch out for the "chocolate" chunks, right?

[blueeyedmanda 7]

Yeti scat......Yikes! I wonder what kind of mind effects that would cause?

[Darn210 175]

We're outta here . . . Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

[DingoGirl 12]

The diplomats that smell the best are the German guys. They tend to have great senses of humour, as well. I'll see what I can do to shore up a single German envoy for you, Susie....

Yes but I don't SPEAK german.....the French and Italians will like me much better.

Susie, I do admit, I am highly amused that you refer to me as normal. Happy T-G to the sweet dingos.

Yes, nothign IS sacred here with our potty minds.

But you really do just SEEM so normal, Laura!!!!!!!! the girls say thank you and happy TG to you too.

See now, Susie . . . there's your problem. You wanted a HOT French diplomat. When you're HOT, you sweat . . . resulting in, yes . . . stinky BO. Also, what were you thinking? Athletes? Of course, they sweat. You need to find yourself a nice looking couch potato.

well, I just had one. sent him back....... Give me a stinker.

Just watch out for the "chocolate" chunks, right?

OMG she learns fast............

We're outta here . . . Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

*sniff* we'll miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DingoGirl 12]

here's a silly from my mommy:

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant, when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But, the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.

[elye 96]

Yes but I don't SPEAK german.....the French and Italians will like me much better.

Susie...think about it for a minute....German guys will not understand anything you're saying. THEY'LL LOVE YOU!! (Spoken as a close accomplice on the Sillyak thread)...

[jerseyangel 413]

"Ours is prettier," she replies.

I love it!!!!

[~alex~ 0]

Here is a Thanksgiving joke in honour (or should I say honor) of the upcoming American Thanksgiving. My grandpa gave me this joke when we had him over for Thanksgiving dinner last month.

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife and smiles. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

[nikki-uk 28]

I'm pulling a Susie . . . I'm suppose to be studying Spanish but instead . . . Oh, wait. That IS Susie.

Nice one!!

Yeti scat......Yikes! I wonder what kind of mind effects that would cause?

Best not discussed on a public forum.....mind blowing

"Ours is prettier," she replies.

Susie's Mummy

[jerseyangel 413]

"they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

Hee Hee--I sent that to my husband--he'll get a kick out of it

[blueeyedmanda 7]

Time to hit the road here too, John and I are heading north of Scranton tonight. I can't wait to see my mom!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!!!!!!!

See you tomorrow night.

[DingoGirl 12]

Susie...think about it for a minute....German guys will not understand anything you're saying. THEY'LL LOVE YOU!! (Spoken as a close accomplice on the Sillyak thread)...

all right then, as long as they smell good, look good, and have all their teeth....

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife and smiles. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

excellent

and BTW on this thread you must use the superfluous U, you were correct in using honoUr, except that the U must always be capitalized.

Susie's Mummy

me mum is a complete goofball.......it's where I get it FROM............... (to torture Em, I am ending with a preposition :lol: )

OMG Nicola - been meaning to comment on that SCARY and fierce creature in your av - WTH is that? it's not what you're eating for, er, for American Thanksgiving is is?

Ugh........very sore tummy today......susie is cranky. made a DELISH dinner last night, chicken/black beans/corn/garlic and green enchilada sauce in crockpot..........took a chance........the sauce had MSG in it.

So between that and the beans.......... (insert green face here) BAH!! and then chased it with this Sobe Diet Green Tea cold beverage in my fridge that someone had left - -

OMG.................just mowed lawn, now must fight crowds and go get prime rib............blah.

someone get on a plane and COME HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dagnabbit, where is our closet lady?????????????????

[~alex~ 0]

excellent

and BTW on this thread you must use the superfluous U, you were correct in using honoUr, except that the U must always be capitalized.

Good to know. Are centre, theatre and the like allowable? Having spelled those words the commonwhealth way may entire life I still find them kind of weird.

[tom 77]

I spoke to my son's teacher yesterday (she's American)

I wanted to ask her if she was doing anything for Thanksgiving - but all that kept coming to mind was ''does she know about pull my finger'' ........shocking!! I managed to keep my deranged wonderings (or was it wanderings???) to myself

Oh she knows alright!

In fact, until this recent transatlantic exchange, I may have bet that "pull my finger" was universal (well, global at least, tho I wouldn't want to short-shrift any aliens who may be monitoring the silly thread - you know who you are ), with even the Bushmen of the Kalihari and other assorted clickity-language types having their own versions.

Drive by post (have to catch up) but this is A Hilarious obituary

at the throwback!!

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm instead of 7:30.

Do I credit Janet, Bev or both??

I'll go w/ both.

I was just wondering who started this whole yeti thing. I'm actually shocked to find out it was me.

Shocked!! SHOCKED, I tell you!

I don't even have to go back, as I remember vividly your initial reference to yeti, Jess. You were wondering if Tom's allergen that began with "Y" was yeti meat. I guffawed and guffawed at your spendid creativity, and vowed that I would bring the yeti up again when the proper moment came....

Yes, I remember it well.

Emily, good job . . ..no . .. .GREAT job in keeping that vow!

[elye 96]

So, I suspect it may be just we lonely Commonwealthers haunting this thread tomorrow. Our American Sillies will be holidaying....eating, drinking, being merry...Can we keep up the madness without them? Gad, what a burden...we'll each be double and triple-shifting, I fear!

[tom 77]

Re: couch potato

well, I just had one. sent him back....... Give me a stinker.

Sailboat Spud?

and BTW on this thread you must use the superfluous U, you were correct in using honoUr, except that the U must always be capitalized.

Hmmm . .. ... .the crux of this biscuit is the question of superfluosity. For Her Royal Subjects, that beloved (to certain peculiar yanks) U, while superfluous 'from sea to shining sea' (hey! Which freakin' sea is UNshiny anyway?), is quite fluous(?) indeed.

Thus, I see no need for alleged superfluosities to be highlighted through capitalization by Alex, Emily, Nikki et al.

Good to know. Are centre, theatre and the like allowable? Having spelled those words the commonwhealth way may entire life I still find them kind of weird.

Perfectly allowable, as that er/re switcheroo doesn't involve superfluous voweling nor consenantificationizing.

And don't forget my fav . .. . . Lustre!

[elye 96]

consenantificationizing.

Way to go, Tom! But talk about superfluous suffixes...!!

[DingoGirl 12]

Good to know. Are centre, theatre and the like allowable?

alLOWable? why they're actually preferred, if not mandatory!!!!!!!!!

So, I suspect it may be just we lonely Commonwealthers haunting this thread tomorrow. Our American Sillies will be holidaying....eating, drinking, being merry...Can we keep up the madness without them? Gad, what a burden...we'll each be double and triple-shifting, I fear!

adn you're NOT getting overtime/holiday pay either!

Yes, plenty of work for you all to do, carrying on with madcap silliness whilst we are eating the dreaded bird (I hate turkey, unless it can have NORMAL stuffing, NORMAL gravy, and cranberry sauce, ALL TOGETHER. Other than that - soooooooooo not interested )

and could someone PLEASE tell me why in theee hell everyone makes a green bean casserole? that disgusting kind w/ the....canned green beans, cream-of-something soup and the crap on top? what is that, dehydrated ersatz canned onions? I just don't get it.........seems mandatory at most gatherings yet I always just make, for myself and my vegetarian relatives, fresh veggies w/ a bit of butter, salt and pepper.......

oh and while we're speaking of tradition.......why the marshmallows in teh canned yams? (I would hurl upon taste of that item - those yams actually do taste like vomit, I think)

I just bake some fresh garnet yams w/ apples sliced in, not overbaked and gushy, mind you......perfectly done w/ butter, salt and pepper. YUMMY!!!!!!!!

who invented these items? when and where? Were the pilgrims eating canned yams and dehydrated faux onions? always cracks me up (and trust me, they'll be on the table tomorrow at my brother's)

And why are these items only eaten ONCE a year? Ever see anyone servin' them marshmallowed yams any other time?

[tom 77]

Hehehe Dingy . .. . ain't THAT a dandy little holiday rant!

[elye 96]

I totally agree...those things are heinous. Actually, I've always thought that cranberry sauce served with meat is pretty bizarre. Give me thick, buttery gravy to pour over my turkey....oh, now I gotta go eat something...

[Ridgewalker 3]

just checking in to say hi, and happy thanksgiving everybody! my whole family has the puking virus going on now, and nobody's coming for thanksgiving (they're askeert, and i don't blame them!) bah... i'm still going to try to cook, maybe we'll all feel like eating tomorrow. lucas was the first to get it, and he was doing a lot better by this evening.

so i took some phenergan (which makes me spacey, but hey it's worth it) and immodium, and i'm going to go try to make a couple pies.

phenergan is GREAT, and i really want pumpkin pie, i've been dreaming about it. and i have to cook the turkey, cuz luke was feeling better tonight, and all he wants in the world, of course, is turkey and cranberry sauce... poor baby.

wish me luck, and have a great thanksgiving everyone!!!

[Ridgewalker 3]

PS- susie i totally agree, green bean casserole is a big YUCK in my book

[DingoGirl 12]

I totally agree...those things are heinous. Actually, I've always thought that cranberry sauce served with meat is pretty bizarre. Give me thick, buttery gravy to pour over my turkey....oh, now I gotta go eat something...

don't tell me they have this ersatz crap in the commonwealth????!!!!!!!!! I thought it was only the US that bastardized things so..............

j

so i took some phenergan (which makes me spacey, but hey it's worth it) and immodium, and i'm going to go try to make a couple pies.

What is phenergan? I want some!!!!!!!!!! those pies will be interesting....let us know how they turn out!!

So sorry about your vomitous thanksgiving........somehow I think you'll have fun, just your WEE family.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dingy, out.