The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

elye · February 22, 2008

Darn210 said:
I can picture it now . . . Emily is shopping in the frame department. Over the loud speaker all the customers hear . . . Code 52 in the frame department . . . security rushes to the find Emily swapping photos . . . "Lady, how many times do we have to tell you? You can't keep comin' in here and dumpin' your lousy pictures in our new frames. The other customers won't buy the frame once you've put a picture of your toenail in it."

OMG.......How did you know?! You must have been in the store when that happened...Actually, it was Code 12. AND.......my toenail shot did get snatched up. I went and checked a couple of days later....

Dunno about the shot of Gus's poop that Jack took as a three-year old.....

tom · February 22, 2008

<sigh> so very unsilly today & nothing to blame it on. & unexplainable anomalous poop today. ugh

Felt fine & silly most of last night.

Frustrating but hopefully just a bump in the boulevard.

DingoGirl · February 22, 2008

blueeyedmanda said:
I am so ashamed to say this. I was watching this good movie on Lifetime....and fell asleep at 9:30 and slept through till this morning.

ashamed........am I missing something? should *I* be shamed when I drift off at 9:30 whilst watching a stupid movie? um.......because.........this happens a lot - conked out quite early and then up early........... <well it USED to happen that I had no life and went to bed w/ books, magazines, and dingos and conked out early - - now I"m running on chronic exhaustion.... >

elye said:
WELL..........He comes in the front door. I happen to be standing there. He's got dry and wet blood ALL OVER his face, all down the front of his jacket, mitts and hat. I scream.

We are laughing about this now, and Jack asked that I tell you guys this story. Soon he'll be gettin' a username, I tell you......

scary sight!!!!!!!!!! but yes, Jack MUST get a username.......something......sanquine......bloody........BloodyJack? NoseBleedJack? CrimsonTideJack?

nikki-uk said:
Terry has man flu ....is of course dying as I try to keep him (and his germs) at arms length!!!!

oh, NOT the man flu.......stay away, just stay far away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darn210 said:
OK Susie, now that the race is over, here is the return of the av that you missed.

I also feel compelled to mention, that I was somewhat . . . what's the right word . . . relieved to see a pic of David and Annie in your av. Now we know you & David didn't pull an Emily and use the photo from a new picure frame for his personal photo in his profile.

:lol: Nope, 'tis the real deal. They're in love.

OMG giah-net - - your av - - - SECOND BEST EVER (favorite being Tom's roommate's pass-out and also Super Weasel........okay yours is THIRD BEST EVER)

Darn210 said:
Hey!!! Is there some sort of limit on how long my av caption can be??? It kept cutting it off mid-witty-way!!!! Somebody needs to talk to Scott about all these restrictions!!!! Who does he think he is??!!!?? It's like he thinks he owns the place or sumfin'!!!!

I KNOW. so evil. How come we can't just do wahtever we want. What kind of phorum is this, where we have RULES? emoticon limits? Too many quotes admonishments? Must start a thread of protest............

elye said:
:

Y'know, I wonder about all those discard pics I've put in those Walmart frames, of my forehead, or of the floor....who, if anyone, has bought those frames? Have they kept my pics? Maybe I'll start a revolution, where people see these frames, get what I've done, and begin to place their own crappy photos in store frames. These frame departments could become like exhibits......

OMG! this is GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darn210 said:
I The other customers won't buy the frame once you've put a picture of your toenail in it."

*snort* Well, as long as she's putting PICTURES of the toenails in, and not the actual remants (ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww - green-face here)

tom said:
<sigh> so very unsilly today & nothing to blame it on. & unexplainable anomalous poop today. ugh
Felt fine & silly most of last night.

Frustrating but hopefully just a bump in the boulevard.

'Twill come back! Don't worry! 'Tis but a temporary mojo-less situation. Drink some of the phaerie. ;P

nikki-uk · February 22, 2008

Emily's toenails & Gus's poo in picture frames???? ew! wait....misread it....it said pictures of

elye said:
Terry just had manflu, did he not? Absolutely, stay away from this individual....

A sickly individual indeed !!

elye said:
Patti! Sorry you have a coldy thing... Get somebody to heat you up some chicken soup on that fab new stove...

Poor Patti, ..having to do her own Chicken Soup .........along with Terry .....'cos I AIN'T

blueeyedmanda said:
Well I am fresh out of big girl diapers....

Yeah...me too .....very handy though.

nikki-uk · February 22, 2008

Mew,mew,mew,MEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woof,woof-woof,growl,woof,WOOF,woof

SCHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I can hear Will & Angus trying to crawl out of Amy's 'hive...... but the harder they struggle - the more trapped they become!!!!!!!

jerseyangel · February 22, 2008

nikki-uk said:
Mew,mew,mew,MEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woof,woof-woof,growl,woof,WOOF,woof

SCHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I can hear Will & Angus trying to crawl out of Amy's 'hive...... but the harder they struggle - the more trapped they become!!!!!!!

Like quicksand

DingoGirl · February 22, 2008

nikki-uk said:
[
I think I can hear Will & Angus trying to crawl out of Amy's 'hive...... but the harder they struggle - the more trapped they become!!!!!!!

jerseyangel said:
Like quicksand

......or a quagmired, crack-addled beehive............

jerseyangel · February 23, 2008

The streets of Sillyville are awfully empty tonight

elye · February 23, 2008

All Right.....

I have had the hiccups for about half an hour, now....held my breath, drank water, had Jack scare the hell outta me by bleeding profusely.....

What now? Suggestions? (hic!)

jerseyangel · February 23, 2008

elye said:
All Right.....
I have had the hiccups for about half an hour, now....held my breath, drank water, had Jack scare the hell outta me by bleeding profusely.....

What now? Suggestions? (hic!)

Gawd....I get the hiccups regularly due to my reflux. What I do is concentrate on something, and breathe as shallow as I can, especially when I feel one coming on. I have to really concentrate

Green12 · February 23, 2008

jerseyangel said:
The streets of Sillyville are awfully empty tonight

I saw a couple of tumbleweeds blowing through

elye said:
All Right.....
I have had the hiccups for about half an hour, now....held my breath, drank water, had Jack scare the hell outta me by bleeding profusely.....

What now? Suggestions? (hic!)

Have you tried standing on your head?

Hmmm, reading your post whilst looking at your avatar I couldn't help but think this was a job for whatever character your dad is there in the av. Doc so and so....surely he would have some very tried, true, and tested advice

tom · February 23, 2008

Janet "googling "Churchill in a speedo""!!!!!

Ahhhh yes Em, women's tennis is often much more interesting compared to the terribly short points in the men's. But I do think the men's has less of that than a few years ago.

(Hmmm how weird will a failed quote nested w/in look?)[edit: aha! It says opening/closing quotes don't match] 2nd try

jerseyangel said:

I think we do

********[oh that's weird .. .no end-quote box for Patti?]****

Sure we do .. . . .. .. .wait .. . ..do we?

elye said:
I have a short story for you all regarding DS's walk home from school yesterday. I am now finding it, for some reason, quite amusing...

Poor little guy & shocked momma!

elye said:
We are laughing about this now, and Jack asked that I tell you guys this story. Soon he'll be gettin' a username, I tell you......

Now THAT is the funniest part to me - his asking that we're told!!!!!!!!!

DingoGirl said:
scary sight!!!!!!!!!! but yes, Jack MUST get a username.......something......sanquine......bloody........BloodyJack? NoseBleedJack? CrimsonTideJack?

Is The Corpuscular Fluidator taken?

DingoGirl said:
OMG giah-net - - your av - - - SECOND BEST EVER (favorite being Tom's roommate's pass-out and also Super Weasel........okay yours is THIRD BEST EVER)

Wow .. .... . ... ..really? Is this anything but absinthe-envy?

DingoGirl said:
Drink some of the phaerie. ;P

Pseuzee's become quite the one-trick-pony on the remedies.

Get THIS!! Some nut in the bulk foods aisle was humming & slowing whirling, Deadhead-style BOTH when I entered and quite a while later as I exited.

I think the tune was

I could while away the hours,

Conferrin' w/ the flours . .. ..

elye said:
All Right.....
I have had the hiccups for about half an hour, now....held my breath, drank water, had Jack scare the hell outta me by bleeding profusely.....

What now? Suggestions? (hic!)

Hmmmm . .. . ..

OH!!!!! I've got it!!

DingoGirl said:
Drink some of the phaerie. ;P

(How ARE we supposed to take that ;P emoticombo? [here's a take-home project for us all: practice the simultaneous wink-tongue then try it out on friends & family])

Such a shame Queen Sarah's missed so much of her term.

We're missing you Sarahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Next Coronation expected Monday? Tuesday?

Will a guest sniper steal it away????

Will David throw together some fancy macro/pgm to bypass the anti-flood function, fill p699 w/ jibberish in a flash, claim the Throne then bequeath same to his desperately despotic dingo????????

DAVID!!!!!!! Go to the Catalyst much during the S. Cruz mtns days???

I've always called it "the bar all bars should aspire to be".

Seems regular enough, but then there's a fantastic auditorium-type venue in back!!

jerseyangel · February 23, 2008

tom said:
I could while away the hours,
Conferrin' w/ the flours . .. ..

Of course, now that tune will be going throught my mind for the next week...

elye · February 23, 2008

jerseyangel said:
Gawd....I get the hiccups regularly due to my reflux. What I do is concentrate on something, and breathe as shallow as I can, especially when I feel one coming on. I have to really concentrate

juliem said:
Have you tried standing on your head?

Breathed shallowly, stood on my head (well...on my neck, more like...limber gymnast I ain't)...nothing. They went away when I was about halfway through a large glass of chablis. My poor man's phaerie....

tom said:
Now THAT is the funniest part to me - his asking that we're told!!!!!!!!!

I know....That's what I couldn't wait to tell you guys.....

I asked Jack the other day what he would call himself if he ever came onto the forum. He said something terrific: "I've been thinking about that. Since I still have some gas even though I'm gluten-free, I think a great name for me would be Jack the Ripper".

tom said:
Get THIS!! Some nut in the bulk foods aisle was humming & slowing whirling, Deadhead-style BOTH when I entered and quite a while later as I exited.
I think the tune was

I could while away the hours,

Conferrin' w/ the flours . .. ..

Did he have straw peeking out from his neck and sleeves?

And my head I'd be scratchin'

While my thoughts were busy hatchin'

(as he approaches the rice bins)

If I only had some grains.......

tom said:
(How ARE we supposed to take that ;P emoticombo? [here's a take-home project for us all: practice the simultaneous wink-tongue then try it out on friends & family])

..Or out the car window at strangers while sitting at red lights. That would be lots more fun.....

DingoGirl · February 23, 2008

tom said:
Wow .. .... . ... ..really? Is this anything but absinthe-envy?

Pseuzee's become quite the one-trick-pony on the remedies.

absinthe envy. OMG - was at Trader Joe's, looking for, among other things, a lovely nightcap......you know, you don't want a glass of wine or a port (I really don't like port that much), but just a few warming sips before bed. So - - I got my FAVORITE - - B&B. SOOOOO delicious - - I had a small taste and it's the same as I remember. PRICEY, though. $12 for a wee bottle, of course, nothing like Ptaum's absinthe.

So........there's a licorice flavoUred liqueur there - was it - was it - what in hell was it called? not goldshlager.........something else adn it tastes of anise, the guy told me. OH! I said, is that like absinthe? And he did say that it WAS the American version of absinthe.....goes on to say - - but, you know, it's legal here now..........and I just chortled internally to myself whilst casually mentioning that a brewery (winery?) called St. George makes it now.......we've seen evidence of the phaerie, involving a grown man crumpled on the floor in front of his toilet....... (I left that part out).

And speaking of alcohol..............Trader Joe's now has the MOST MOST MOST delicious hard cider - called Newton's Folly (get the authentic draft and not the green apple). It says - hold me - GLUTEN FREE on the box!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Susie is havin' herself a cider whilst her boyfriend is - get this - - taking his MOTORCYCLE CERTIFICATION COURSE class......

PEOPLE - - our powers haven't worked yet........he's in class tonight until 10 (and then it's COME TO MAMA!!!!!!!!! ) and then the actual driving part is Saturday and Sunday afternoons. BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not happy about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phocus people, PHOCUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hex on the bike!!!!!!! Hex on the bike!!!!!!! BOO BIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

tom said:
Will David throw together some fancy macro/pgm to bypass the anti-flood function, fill p699 w/ jibberish in a flash, claim the Throne then bequeath same to his desperately despotic dingo????????

ohhhhhhhh....that's so.........romantic.................

elye said:
Since I still have some gas even though I'm gluten-free, I think a great name for me would be Jack the Ripper".

*snooooooooooooooort* OMG - it's perfect - - and he's a crazy little stinker now, isn't he? wonder where he gets THAT from????????????? - oops - from whence he gets it

poor man's phaerie. I think that's the OTHER fake licorice drink (surely not real) that I espyed tonight at TJ's. Going back for it.

OH! it was called Jaegermeister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just might have to crack open another cider now. Way too delicious and going down like.......candy.

tom · February 23, 2008

Sambuca & Ouzo are both licoricey.

I found Jaeger to be more cough-syrupy :blech:

Em!!!! Jack the Ripper!

And that he's put thought into it!!

DingoGirl · February 23, 2008

tom said:
Sambuca & Ouzo are both licoricey.

I found Jaeger to be more cough-syrupy :blech:

All right, sir, good to know. What can you tell me about grappa? Had it in Italy, but that was 20-plus years ago.......was looking at that. And don't even get me started on limoncello............dear gawd - - - it's like CANDY FOR THE MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't have it in my house!!!!!!!!! Was considering, though, actually making a batch this year. Need tons o' lemons and vodka..........

I want the phaerie. Now.

tom · February 23, 2008

DingoGirl said:
. . .. OH! I said, is that like absinthe? And he did say that it WAS the American version of absinthe.....goes on to say - - but, you know, it's legal here now..........

Jaeger's also got a ton of herbs, but the similarity ends there for me.

DingoGirl said:
and I just chortled internally to myself whilst casually mentioning that a brewery (winery?) called St. George makes it now.......

Distillery

DingoGirl said:
we've seen evidence of the phaerie, involving a grown man crumpled on the floor in front of his toilet....... (I left that part out).

:lol:

DingoGirl said:
And speaking of alcohol..............Trader Joe's now has the MOST MOST MOST delicious hard cider - called Newton's Folly (get the authentic draft and not the green apple). It says - hold me - GLUTEN FREE on the box!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saw that (I think) on the New Products shelf recently. All I noticed was cider in 2 varieties.

Wonder if I should try that. Probably too sweet.

Last time I had cider was at the fanTAStic gluten-free Corbett Fishhouse in Portland.

Didn't know about candida yet.

Got SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sick I wanted to tell my sister that I'm to be classified as "Do Not Revive", but I couldn't bear to see the look on her face if I'd told her that.

Oh . ..so maybe I won't try the cider.

don't really know what made me so sick tho

jerseyangel · February 23, 2008

elye said:
Jack the Ripper".

This is perfect! Level-headed and a nut--he'd fit in perfectly!

DingoGirl said:
..........and I just chortled internally to myself whilst casually mentioning that a brewery (winery?) called St. George makes it now.......we've seen evidence of the phaerie, involving a grown man crumpled on the floor in front of his toilet....... (I left that part out).

I can just see Susie, out in the real world, "silly" thoughts slowly taking over....chortling and snorting whilst the salesclerk looks on and wonders.....

elye · February 23, 2008

Happy Saturday Morning, All!

Gaahhh...All this waxing about liquers and cider.... Haven't been able to ever indulge, with the sugar content being what it is. Sigh............I'm such a pedestrian....drinker...dry white wine. Well, champagne. Bloody Marys. But I want The Phaerie....

tom said:
Em!!!! Jack the Ripper!
And that he's put thought into it!!

Yes, Jack is a funnny little kid...very much an old soul. he's very interested in the lives of you guys in Sillyville and asks often about what's going on. He's happy for you, Susie, and your fantastic new relationship, but he does think it's kind of gross. Tom, he told me to mention to you that if cider has remaining similarities to apple juice, it could be sulphites that made you so sick. And boy, was he flummoxed to hear that I had been discussing here my relationship with new picture frames. He said, "Boy, they must be good friends. I wouldn't even tell Evan (his best buddy) that I was doing that".

BTW, he has a little pewter frame on his headboard with the original pic still in it (y'know, the apple fallin' close to the tree thing). It's an old-looking sepia shot of a little girl's face, with Shirley temple curls and a tiny 1920's smile. I saw it there and asked him about it. He said, "I want to keep this picture. I'm sure she was one of the kids on the Titanic."

Good a reason as any.....

nikki-uk · February 23, 2008

DingoGirl said:
And speaking of alcohol..............Trader Joe's now has the MOST MOST MOST delicious hard cider - called Newton's Folly (get the authentic draft and not the green apple). It says - hold me - GLUTEN FREE on the box!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Susie is havin' herself a cider whilst her boyfriend is - get this - - taking his MOTORCYCLE CERTIFICATION COURSE class......

Oh GAD!!!!! .....CIDER = YUM

(N.B. Cider should be pronounced like an English country farmer.......

e.g

Ooooh arrrrgh...I likes me ciderrrr I do)

Every time I go past the Cider Aisle in Tesco's I always linger....staring at the various scrumptious (all gluten-free) varieties.....until Terry says ''Walk on Nik....you know you wouldn't get out of bed for days if you drink that stuff''

Yes, me and my weak liver have had hangovers from cider not EVEN deserved for the most heinous MISCREANTS in the firey BOWELS of hell

DingoGirl said:
PEOPLE - - our powers haven't worked yet........he's in class tonight until 10 (and then it's COME TO MAMA!!!!!!!!! ) and then the actual driving part is Saturday and Sunday afternoons. BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not happy about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phocus people, PHOCUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hex on the bike!!!!!!! Hex on the bike!!!!!!! BOO BIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am furiously PHocusing...trans Atlantic hexing...cursing the EEEEEeevil bike....

DingoGirl said:
Just might have to crack open another cider now. Way too delicious and going down like.......candy.

NNNNnnnnOOooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!.........my HEAD...it'll EXPLODE......NEEEEARGGGGHHHHhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

elye said:
BTW, he has a little pewter frame on his headboard with the original pic still in it (y'know, the apple fallin' close to the tree thing). It's an old-looking sepia shot of a little girl's face, with Shirley temple curls and a tiny 1920's smile. I saw it there and asked him about it. He said, "I want to keep this picture. I'm sure she was one of the kids on the Titanic."
Good a reason as any.....

Bless him .....deep thinker eh???

Jack the Ripper

blueeyedmanda · February 23, 2008

Morning Sillies...or shall I say Afternoon sheesh It is almost lunch time.

Susie I love the new av!

Well, today I am thinking of making an impromptu ski trip. My parents have gotten a foot of new snow and the roads are all clear. My sister is a go, and I am hoping to leave here in 2 hrs. Think of all that nice powder!!!!! Exciting. So if this goes through I will catch all my silly friends tomorrow when I returns home.

See you all later!

WardGirl · February 23, 2008

Good morning but just barely Sillies

Today is a glorious day as I don't have to go to that 4 letter word. Don't get me wrong I like the store but it's nice to have a Saturday off

Emily I think from what I've read about Jack the user name Jack the Ripper would suit him well and it would certainly fit in well with the Sillies

I don't know if I've every tired cider but since I don't drink alcohol anymore I will pass on it. The Knower of all Knowledge's Dad has been known to like cider from time to time but I don't know if The Knower of all Knowledge does. And you would think I should know after being married to him for over 26yrs. But hey I'm not The Knower of all Knowledge

Darn210 · February 23, 2008

WardGirl said:
The Knower of all Knowledge's Dad has been known to like cider from time to time but I don't know if The Knower of all Knowledge does. And you would think I should know after being married to him for over 26yrs. But hey I'm not The Knower of all Knowledge

Morning Jacquie . . . I've got a great way for you to find out . . .

Hey Peter!!! Do you like cider??

~alex~ · February 23, 2008

elye said:
I asked Jack the other day what he would call himself if he ever came onto the forum. He said something terrific: "I've been thinking about that. Since I still have some gas even though I'm gluten-free, I think a great name for me would be Jack the Ripper".

That's a perfect name! Your dad must be so proud that his grandson is a such a funny little guy.

elye said:
Happy Saturday Morning, All!
Gaahhh...All this waxing about liquers and cider.... Haven't been able to ever indulge, with the sugar content being what it is. Sigh............

Sigh, indeed. I limit myself to one Amaretto and tea concoction a week. In university I had a friend who was diabetic and she would go out drinking quite often. She had an insulin pump and acted as if this meant she didn't need to watch what she was eating. As you can imagine, her blood sugar was all over the place. Not being diabetic at the time I didn't realize how much damage she was actually doing . Come to think of it she also said that she couldn't eat pasta because it upset her stomach but I distinctly remember her eating bread products -- clearly Celiac! I think I may have to find her email/phone number and contact her to let her know she probably has Celiac disease. I can't believe I am just realizing this now. Maybe she knows she has celiac but just deals with it in the same careless way she does her diabetes. I guess all I can do is tell her about it and then it's up to her what she does with the information.

blueeyedmanda said:
Well, today I am thinking of making an impromptu ski trip. My parents have gotten a foot of new snow and the roads are all clear. My sister is a go, and I am hoping to leave here in 2 hrs. Think of all that nice powder!!!!! Exciting. So if this goes through I will catch all my silly friends tomorrow when I returns home.

Have a great time! Sounds like a lot of fun!!!

I must report on something upsettingly disgusting that happened to me to day. I was out picking up a few things and needed to make a phone call. I didn't have my cell phone so I used a pay phone. While I was talking, my tongue peaked too far out of my mouth and contacted the mouthpiece. I was so disgusted I got chills and I began madly spitting and wiping my tongue with a Kleenex! I didn't think there was anything grosser than bum contact with a public toilet but I think for me this may have been worse!