You're Know You're A Celiac If...

[Guest Norah022]

...you walk towards a gluten filled bagel after 8 hours of work only to have your younger brother jump in front of you screaming NO DON"T DO IT! (I forgot..I was so tired I forgot I couldn't have the bagel)

...your family and college roommates have to hide the gluten filled cookie and bagels so you don't eat them

...your friends and family ask you why you are staring mindlessly at their gluten filled food

...you get SO excited when a care package from home comes because you know your mom will have sent you whole grain brown rice

...you stalk the UPS man since he has your Kinninnick order but refuses to give it to you until later

[Kassiane]

...You even have your CATS on gluten-free food b/c of cross contamination (it solidified THEIR poo too!)

...You swear that "Wheat Montana" store with free wifi was put there to taunt you

...You can PRONOUNCE Kinnikinnick.

...You've ever watched your own -scopy, and asked the doc to point out anything cool.

...You can say without a doubt that you've been forced to try some of the most BORING food EVER

...You've ever pounced on the person cleaning the toaster at a hotel so you could toast YOUR bread before someone contaminated it

[burdee]

You Know You're a Celiac if ...

Your bathroom has a full library of magazines and books;

You pack more 'safe' food than clothes in your luggage when you go on vacation;

You can SPELL Kinnikinnick; LOL

Your 'favorites' sites are mostly celiac sites;

You know all the euphemistic names for gas ... like 'wind', 'vapors', etc.;

Your favorite store is Whole Foods;

Your pants and skirts all have elastic (expandable) waists to accomodate bloat;

You have 2 wardrobes for bloated and nonbloated days;

Unless it comes from your own garden, you obsessively scrutinize labels of anything you might eat;

You spend too much time reading celiac.com posts.

BURDEE

[AndreaB]

You spend too much time reading celiac.com posts.

That's me.....do I have a family anymore?

[CarlaB]

That's me.....do I have a family anymore?

Think of it in a positive sense .... you have lots of friends ... you've never met us, of course!!

So, I guess we could add this to the list, you know you're a celiac if the only people who understand are a bunch of people you know online but have never met!

[chgomom]

You're like a peeping tom when you see your family unwrapping their Mc Donald's breakfast before your eyes.

*this morning they had hasbrowns....and cheesy, biscuits with bacon and eggs*

* I smelled each and everyone*

*lol*

[glutenfreeme]

HAHAHA! That's great. Add: You've been sent to every specialist from psychiatry to gastroenterology and you STILL had to figure it all out by yourself.

Thank you for the funnies, keep them coming. I've spent so many years thinking I was nuts from chonic flu symptoms and now I can see the light!

[MistressIsis]

when your friends order takeout from the same place at least twice a week because they know there are 2 dishes you can eat there.

The 1st time you had Namaste's Chocolate cake you cried in front of your whole family and then tried to hide the cake so they wouldn't eat it.

You hugged a chef for making you special meals every time you walk in.

your friends ask if you want "a smell" of whatever yummy thing they have

You walk down the bread aisle and almost hyperventilate inhaling the smell

Knowing where there's a bathroom anywhere in Massachusetts and all the reststops with facilities on all major highways

[penguin]

- You buy immodium in bulk

- Your purse is a pharmacy, and people wonder where the baby is, because surely a purse that big is a diaper bag.

- You get really excited when you find mini bottles of air freshener

- You use gluten as a verb

- You actually bought a "travelling kitchen" full of cooking utensils to use at other people's houses, because you know their pans and spoons can't be trusted

- You read the label on water

- You're going to scream if one more person asks you if eye drops/vaccines/IV meds are gluten-free

- You have an "I already ate" t-shirt

- You've mastered the art of lying when other people ask you if you're hungry

- Even if the gluten-free beer tastes like Drano, you'll drink it just because it's gluten-free

[2kids4me]

During big holidays you want to be the first one to offer to cook the turkey/stuffing and gravy. Then it can all be gluten-free. You will have dinner at your house or you will transport it anywhere.

[its Canadian Thanksgiving here]

After one Christmas where family finally tried the gluten-free stuffing - they shied away from it first time cause they didnt want to eat the kid's stuffing. Even though I made tons - they had separate gravy boats, separate stuffing etc. Then they tried some - it disappeared faster than the wheat bread stuffing, the gravy tasted the same - so now they ask me to do my 'tasty stuffing'. ( am not sure what they thought it would taste like when they first politely refused)

[Drama-Queen]

-You wake up the next morning with hives because someone "gluten-contaminated" used your designated gluten-free towel.

-Your roommate uses your dishes without asking and leaves wheat flour all over the counter, because she says "I thought it wasn't that big of a deal. I know about your problem, but I don't care that much."

-You have had to move out of a dormitory because you had too many anaphalactic visits to the ER becuase of her sloppiness in the kitchen.

-You enjoy doing crosswords in the newspaper, just because the newspaper is gluten free.

[Rusla]

You know you are Celiac if ...

...you do the happy dance when you find some place that has gluten free food.

...you get excited if you find something new in the store that is gluten-free.

...you hug the store manager when they give you a book of the gluten-free products in their store.

...you find yourself explaining to the cats why you have changed their food.

...you pick up a package in the supermarket and read that it has wheat in it, you scream and yell "poison".

...you go to a potluck at a friends place and your dish is gluten-free. You dive into it first so that you get something to eat before others contaminate it.

...someone goes to kiss you and you say you can't do that because "you don't know where their lips have been" and that they could have gluten on them.

...you jump out of your chair at work and snatch your water bottle away from where they just sat the box of donuts down. Then you say, "are you trying to poison me?"

...you weep when you see rolled oats in the supermarket.

I have taken a carry-on full of food when I went to Jamaica, they thought I was insane.

[hineini]

...The highlight of your week is a solid bowel movement and you have to bite your tongue to keep from telling everyone you know about it

...The local sushi place knows your name because you eat there twice a week since it's the only restaurant that won't make you sick (if you bring your own gluten-free soy sauce)

...When people invite you over for dinner, the menu is always rice and beans because that's all they can think of to make for you.

[Mango04]

- You actually think it's possible to get glutened by a couch. (I've been crashing on a friend's futon for the past few nights. The first night I saw SO MANY CRUMBS )

[Rusla]

You can get glutened by a couch if by mistake you ingest any of them. They could get on your hands and you could touch your mouth or eat something a few tiny crumbs could be on your hands.

[Mango04]

You can get glutened by a couch if by mistake you ingest any of them. They could get on your hands and you could touch your mouth or eat something a few tiny crumbs could be on your hands.

uh yeah i know i cleaned it up quite well and then put a sleeping bag a sheet and another blanket between me and the cushons lol

[Rusla]

Everytime I go to worry I worry that I will be glutened by accident.

[whitball]

these are hilarious! I'm sitting in a hotel in Detroit, bored out of my mind and find this thread, Thanks!

[debmidge]

ah, on TV Traffic report you see that Entennman's truck on highway jackknifed (driver ok) and the load of gluten cakes/pies on truck caught on fire and you have a gleam of giddiness in your eyes that you've never had before. ...

[saaa-wheat<3]

OMGLMAO!!!

this is great medicine, especially after being sick from being glutened so often lately...

....if you spend all morning long looking at this thread while at work in between trying to do or blowing off what you should be doing

....if you have made it a point to search out the store manager in a regular food chain to personally thank them for carrying a gluten free product

....if your husband waggles his eyebrows before brushing his teeth and heading off to the bedroom (i know, romance is dead! lol...)

....if you instruct said husband that under no circumstances is he to make his Boboli pizza (the only kind he gets these days) for dinner before you get home unless he sees that there is unfrozen gluten free dough in the fridge so you don't have to smell his and whine about not being able to have any

[kalanfan]

......you spend a half an hour of your grocery shoping time in the bakery department sniffing till your nose hurts......

.....you've lost all embarassement about anyrthing that has to do with poo.....

.....you actually have to check the ingredients in immodium so that it doesnt cause diarreha...

.....you know you doctor and your pharmasists on a first name basis....

.....you have mastered the art of public pooing.....

.....you have such bad gas you dont need a car to get to work.....

.....you have ever had a bunless hamburger....

.....your happy with eating food that "doesnt taste that bad....

.....you read the labels on other peoples food....

.....you refuse to eat anything if you cant look at a label first.....

.....you dream about cake.....

.....you know what the inside of you colon looks like....

[Mary Contrary]

You have to sneak to the bathroom at work like you are going on a secret spy mission for fear somebody else will be in there or see you go in or come out...

I have seriously thought of telling those people I care about that if they see me rushing to the bathroom, to save themselves and don't go in for atleast 30 minutes until the air clears.

Or perhaps on the way in I could just set off a fire alarm so the buidling can be evacuated...

[emcmaster]

... you stare at your husband's delicious gluten-filled calzones and pretend to eat them. (pretend!)

... you long to look at the contents of other people's fridges and pantrys just to see what normal people eat. (Actually, I've always liked doing that, even before I went gluten-free. I was a health nut from a young age!)

... you declare your cat "gluten-free" and forbid your husband from petting her unless he washes his hands after he eats.

[amber-rose]

You know you're a Celiac if/when...

---.....your poop floats....---

---.....when you dream about eating gluten & wake up worrying that you'll get sick any moment, but then you realize a few minutes that it was just a dream & that you didnt eat those delicious rasberry-filled powered donuts....---

[saaa-wheat<3]

You know you're a Celiac if/when...

---.....your poop floats....---

---.....when you dream about eating gluten & wake up worrying that you'll get sick any moment, but then you realize a few minutes that it was just a dream & that you didnt eat those delicious rasberry-filled powered donuts....---

OMG Amber, right with you there on those kind of doughnuts, right down to the raspberry filling, my favorite!!! i think that's at the very top 10 of my list of things i miss, since there is no way to make a gluten-free recipe for THAT!!! I think that's god's way of punishing me for saying to a celiac boss once ten years before i was gluten-free that i didn't think i could never eat another doughnut. guess i was stronger than i thought!!

....when you have a top 10 list of things you can't eat that there is no way you can substitute with a gluten-free recipe!

...when you go to the local chinese restaurant to discuss if they can accomodate your diet ahead of time because your friend who used to live here flew in to see you and wants to go to her favorite restaurant.

...when you bring a brown bag of your own ingredients so the said restaurant can be sure they make you a safe meal

...when you enjoy the meal that said restaurant has prepared so much you tell your friend you think you might c*m because it tastes sooooo good and you haven't had chinese food in 3 years!