Poll:cut Or Wear Your Hair How You Want?

[LoveBeingATwin]

I wanted to know if anyone takes into consideration their spouse,girlfriend, boyfriends opinion when it comes to wearing or cutting your hair. I have really short hair, when I keep it cut, colored and styled it looks really cute and I feel really good. However..my husband would rather me have long hair. Doesn't every man want long hair? I sincerely care about what my husband thinks and likes but I am torn. I am the type of person who wll wear there hair up ALL the time if it's long..the reason why I cut it in the first place. The other reason he wants me to do something different is because my identical twin has the same style. Go figure!! We have such a fun time! What should I do? I want my hubby to like my hair but.. I also want to like it to. Please help!

[kabowman]

My first husband loved long hair. I tended to keep my hair longer because of that most of the time, but not all. One time, I came home with a buzz and it didn't seem to faze him but I did let it grow back out.

My current husband loves my short hair. Currently, my lady gives me a modified buzz cut, 4, 6, and 7 - my hubby does not like it when I get a 6 on the top because he can see my scalp so I am fine with the 7, it isn't like that is a big deal...however, I just do what I want with my hair now. Once summer hits again, I will go back to the 6, he'll live.

IMO if you have long hair and wear it up all the time, what is the point of having long hair - just my thought process.

Either way, it is just hair and it will grow again if it is that big of a deal...good luck!

[dlp252]

Nope, I wear it the way I like it, or rather, I wear it the way it is easiest to take care of for me. I don't like short hair on me, and since my hair grows REALLY fast, it's too much of a bother to have it short--I'd have to have it trimmed every 3 weeks or so, so I keep it shoulder length and that's how I like it, lol.

[Michi8]

I wear my hair the way I like it. I tend to cut it short for a while, then grow it out really long, then cut it short again. Though I find long hair is a lot of work...and typically end up putting it up in a pony tail. Right now I've cut it very short and have been keeping it this way for a couple of years. I love the ease of caring for short hair and it suits me.

Michelle

[Guhlia]

I think it depends on which makes you feel better... Does it make you feel better to have the hairstyle that YOU like the best? Or, does it make you feel better to have the hairstyle you know your husband prefers?

Personally, I keep my hair very short, usually a 6 on the clippers, sometimes shorter, then I let it grow out and get all spikey. I cut it when it's about an inch and a half long or so. My husband likes it. I don't think he liked it when I had long hair because he was always ending up with hair in his mouth.

[HawkFire]

It's a slippery slope. Do what you like. That way everyone who likes you, actually likes you- not simply likes how you are pleasing to THEM.

[LoveBeingATwin]

Thanks for all the feed back. I really appreciate it. I am giong to do what makes me feel the best about myself.!!!

[UR Groovy]

When I met my husband, I had long, natural blonde natural curly hair down almost to my waist ('bout 7 years ago). He loved it. Everybody who knew me identified me by my hair. It was like a goal for me - how long and awesome could I get my hair to be? The last couple years, I'd been wearing it up all the time.

Last year, some time, I cut it all off. All of it. It's super short.

I think he may miss the days of the younger me, the more sexy hair, but he says he likes it. The fact is, it was a pain in the butt. I got headaches from pulling it back all the time.

I love, love, love my short hair. No muss, no fuss. The happier I am, the happier he is.

It's nice to be free of the giant 'fro . I never had a moment when I regretted cutting it. If he had had a problem with it, I'm afraid he would have had to adapt. Thankfully, he's a pretty great guy.

[jkmunchkin]

My husband (boyfriend at the time) is actually the first one who convinced me to cut my hair shorter. I kept protesting, and then one day figured what the heck, I'd give it a try. Now I actually prefer it on the shorter side.

My generally keep it to about a half inch below my collar bone, but sometimes like to cut it even shorter. I once cut it to about my lips and as one of my guy friends so nicely told me years later, "it's not that it looked bad; I mean you were still hot (lol), but it just looks better a little longer." I thought that was hysterical!

I grew it longer again for my wedding because I wasn't sure how I wanted to wear it and with longer hair you basically have every option (including I had her cut my bangs on my wedding day).

But my husband basically likes my hair any way I wear it.

[num1habsfan]

I wouldnt change my hair for a guy. i dont change my hair for any girlfriends who suggest I need to do something to it thats not plain and boring. I have always kept it shoulder length, really when its not thick/curly its much longer than the shoulders, and since I do have natural curls (yes, I know if pics you've seen its only been more wavy, but when its not towel tried it do get perfect curls), i'd never be able to maintain an actual hairstyle since it changes everyday.

People should love us all for who we are, not for our hair

~ lisa ~

[darlindeb25]

I love my hair long, I always have loved long hair. I know my hair is pretty and I know it's one of my best features. It looks terrible short, it's too thick to be short. Funny thing about it though, now that I am older and my hair is longer than it has ever been, now it is getting curls. My sweetie loves it long, yet would never tell me not to cut it. He always says, "It's your hair and you should wear it the way you want it." My mom told me at 30 it was time to keep my hair short because anyone over 30 should not have long hair. Now I am 51 and it is down pass my waist and I love it.

In answer to, why have long hair if you wear it up? I have always found that long hair is much cooler up then having short hair out of control. I love a braid and men find braids sexy. Kev has always told me that when men look at all my hair they picture me laying against a white pillow with my hair framing my hair feathered out all around me. One day a few years back, I was visiting my mother in the hospital and this man, a stranger to me, asked how long had I been growing my hair. Then he said to me, "Hun, I know men picture you with that hair laying against a pillow, it's just beautiful!" When I told Kev what the man said, his response was, "Now, when I am right, I am right!"

You do what you want with your hair. I love mine long and always will, for as long as I can take care of it.

[CarlaB]

I listen to my husband and wear it how I want. I always discuss new hairstyles with him and don't wear it ways he doesn't like. However, I generally decide whether to wear it long or short. If he didn't like it really short, I'd wear it a bit longer for him.

Right now I wear it long because I wanted to grow it out. What I found after I grew it out and see pictures of myself with short hair and with long hair is that I look better with long hair. Don't know why I wore it short for so many years!

Hair is really an expression of yourself, but ...

I'd compromise with hubby. It sets the tone, if you know what I mean. I'm sure there's something you can find that will satisfy you both, and he'll remember that you did this for him (without you reminding him).

[Guest WashingtonLady]

There are SO many ways to wear long hair, I love that, but I have to agree that shorter is easier! Every 5-6 years, though, I tired enough of the work involved with keeping it long, I cut it all off--wedge it, buzz it, whatever. (I've learned to keep my fav hair do-dads, though, for when it's long next.) Your individuality isn't completely at stake when you cave on the spousal-hair-wish list, but you never know what's next on the list, so be careful! I spent WAY too many years trying to make myself somone other than me to please my EXhusband to ever condone it in someone else. Do what's best for YOU! (while respecting his needs to be heard, as much as possible)

Lately I've gotten into partial foils to blend my grey in without having to do it all! I have this really annoying melanin-free patch right above my right eye---I look like a cross between Lilly Munster and Rogue (X-men). Some people think it's cool (including my 13 year old daughter), some people think I've been painting (or got hit with a snowball...that was the best mistake, I think), and others say, "Get RID of that grey!" Ha! Just like the length, I go back and forth, depending on what I feel like. Usually in the bright and sunny weather, I have it "done" and during the winter I let it grow out. There you go....a day in the life of a hair cuticle!

[Kyalesyin]

My wife's hair was quite long, but pretty poor quality for quite a long time, and a few months ago we decided we'd both go short [that way, at least both of us suffer with an awful haircut if it goes wrong!] and did eachother's hair. Since she's been gluten free, its grown much faster and much stronger. She's now got this cute little 50's cut that takes about ten seconds to wash and style and looks great, and mine is sort of hanging, kinda dead by my shoulders and I can't do anything with it...

I think I know who won that one...

Either way, you're the one who has to live with your hair, and its easier to cut it off than it is to grow it back. I have to say, the biggest advantage for me? Not getting a mouthful of my wife's hair when we cuddle in bed! I used to be breathing it in all night when it was long.

[debmidge]

I rather have my husband admire and fantasize about my long hair, which he prefers, than constantly wishing for my short hair to grow in and admiring someone else's long hair..... It's such a small request of his and although it does not take any more maintenance (for me) than it does for short hair (when my hair is short, unless I curling iron it or blow it out I look like "Dutch Boy paints Kid on the can.")

[nikki-uk]

I listen to my husband and wear it how I want. I always discuss new hairstyles with him and don't wear it ways he doesn't like. However, I generally decide whether to wear it long or short. If he didn't like it really short, I'd wear it a bit longer for him.

Right now I wear it long because I wanted to grow it out. What I found after I grew it out and see pictures of myself with short hair and with long hair is that I look better with long hair. Don't know why I wore it short for so many years!

Hair is really an expression of yourself, but ...

I'd compromise with hubby. It sets the tone, if you know what I mean. I'm sure there's something you can find that will satisfy you both, and he'll remember that you did this for him (without you reminding him).

Carla!!, I wondered when you'd turn up in a thread about hair!!!!

[darlindeb25]

We Deb's agree. I think it took me much longer to deal with my short hair then it does my long hair. If you use a very good conditioner, it is very easy to manage. Pulling back into a ponytail is much easier than styling short hair. Braiding mine can be a problem on the bad neuropathy days, yet those are the days it stays free.

I had to smile when "breathing it in" was mentioned. Kev will lovingly tease about my hair being everywhere. Later in the day, if he finds one of my long hairs on his shirt or body somewhere, he just smiles.

The only time I get aggravated is when I shut it in the car door or have to tear apart the vaccum to clean it off the beater bar!

[Jo.R]

My husband perfers long hair, but I keep it short. I have evil hair that wants to take all my time

My hair has just enough body to have to be blowed dryed, it's oily so I have to wash everyday. My hair is also thick, it could take over a half hour to dry it when it's long. I have two small kids, and little time to mess with it. now it takes five minutes to dry and if I mess it up a little hair product will fix it in just a second.

My time is worth more than my husbands desire for long hair. If I were to worry about my husband looking at other women (which I don't) it would be becaused I've gained weight since we were married, or that my stomach is all scarred up from surgeries, not because of my hair.

[CarlaB]

Carla!!, I wondered when you'd turn up in a thread about hair!!!!

LOL! I don't know how I got this reputation around here! I actually hardly do anything with my hair. When it's long, I only have to wash it about twice per week, and it actually looks much better on days I don't wash it than on days I do, so I always wash it on days it doesn't need to look good. I just let it air dry, and maybe dry the roots with the blow dryer.

I also have hair that I thought should be blown out every day, but I found an easier way to deal with the body that was just enough to make it look messy, not curly -- hot rollers. It takes me five minutes to do my hair -- at the most! My daughter treats her long hair the same way, and everyone thinks we both spend so much time on it, when the truth is, we don't do much to it at all! She works in a beauty salon and is known to just get out of bed and go to work with her hair still pulled up from the night before -- and people think she spent HOURS on it! They'll ask her if she got it styled to go somewhere special.

[BRUMI1968]

I'm surprised how many of us have buzz cuts. I cut my hair on the #8 on the clippers. I'd like to go to a 4 or 5 sometime, maybe shorter - like Sinead O'Connor or something, but I'm chicken.

My partner prefers short hair. Every time I contemplate growing it out, he balks. that isn't the only reason I don't grow it out -- it's also bloody hard. Know this, if you cut it REALLY short, as in with layers and such or as in with clippers, it is insanely hard to grow it out. However, it is REALLY easy to take care of short hair. I just get my hair wet and then squish it around this way and that with some hair product. However, you know how when you sleep on long hair you CAN get up and go...not so with short hair. When you sleep on it it does all sorts of weird stuff and you wake up looking pretty silly. At least I usually do. That's super short, though, not shoulder length or something.

Another thing to think about is gray hair. If I were to grow my hair out, I'd probably feel compelled to dye it, and I don't want to start that again.

I think you take their opinion into consideration -- if you don't, and if you think they hate it, it will be harder to feel confident and sexy around them. Even if you do like it better...I just think that's the way it is. On the other hand, don't deny yourself. Is there a compromise?

Sherri

[Michi8]

My partner prefers short hair. Every time I contemplate growing it out, he balks. that isn't the only reason I don't grow it out -- it's also bloody hard. Know this, if you cut it REALLY short, as in with layers and such or as in with clippers, it is insanely hard to grow it out. However, it is REALLY easy to take care of short hair. I just get my hair wet and then squish it around this way and that with some hair product. However, you know how when you sleep on long hair you CAN get up and go...not so with short hair. When you sleep on it it does all sorts of weird stuff and you wake up looking pretty silly. At least I usually do. That's super short, though, not shoulder length or something.

My hair looks pretty goofy the next morning if I wash & dry it before going to bed. However, it only takes a minute at most to wet it, redry and put in hair product (my hair stands straight up if I dont' use product.) If I'm too lazy to fix it, then it's a ball cap day. I still prefer that to pulling it back into a headache-inducing ponytail.

Michelle

[brendygirl]

Thanks for all the feed back. I really appreciate it. I am giong to do what makes me feel the best about myself.!!!

I'm divorced, so I don't usually give marital advice, but I will say that I met my husband with chin-length hair (think Cameron Diaz in There's something about Mary) and later, per my husband's request, I grew it out. I ended up cutting it again, because I didn't feel any appreciation from my husband about the long hair. He didn't brush it, compliment it, or wash it for me...nothing. So, what was the point?

Now, I've grown it out again, partially for a change (had short hair for a decade), and partially because my ex-boyfriend's dad asked me if I couldn't grow my hair long and that's why it's short. I imagine that was a compliment (albeit backhanded), since he must've thought I had pretty hair and wondered why I'd cut it??? ANyway, I'm the same age as Reese Witherspoon and Charlize Theron and we all had short blonde hair in our 20s and now we've all got long hair in our 30s.

[CarlaB]

we all had short blonde hair in our 20s and now we've all got long hair in our 30s.

That's okay, I had short hair in my 30's and now it's long in my 40's!

[Rachel--24]

I've always had long hair.....the shortest I go is to my shoulders.

My hair grows fast and I dont really like it too long but I'm sometimes too lazy to get it cut.

Earlier today it was half way down my back...I finally got sick of it and now its a little past my shoulders.

I do what I want with my hair. I dont think anyone I've been with has ever said they'd prefer it longer or shorter. I've never been faced with making a decision to please the significant other.

I'm 100% sure if faced with that....I would still do what I want and what feels good to me.

I like to wear baseball hats alot and the other times wear my hair up in different styles and then other times wear it down...blow-dryed and straight or towel dried and curly.

I get bored with the same thing and even if my exes had a "favorite" they complimented all of the different ways I wear my hair....even if its just in a baseball hat.

I had a job where most of the people I dealt with were men. I wore baseball hats alot and with most of the guys it was "business as usual". Occasionally...I'd come to work with my hair down and styled.

OMG...you would think I was a completely different person on these days....all of a sudden these same guys would suddenly have all this interest in me??!!

Maybe I'm in the minority but I found it irritating and I'd end up wearing hats everyday just because they didnt want me to....and it was business as usual.

There were a few guys who would say they thought it was cute that I wore a cap and they would treat me the same whether I had a hat on or not.

If I had ever chose to go out with one of these guys....it wouldnt be one of the "shallow" ones....I prefer people to like me for me....not my hairstyle.

I guess that might be why I've never been faced with having to decide how to wear my hair.

I never had a relationship with someone who cared either way.

I'm too much of a rebel to have someone tell me how to wear my hair...I'd probably freak out and shave my head like Britney Spears or something.

Speaking of buzz cuts....I bet it feels great to have it short like that. I dont think I could pull it off....but I envy those who have the guts to do it and still look great.

[CarlaB]

I'd end up wearing hats everyday just because they didnt want me to....

What a surprise!!