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Do Other People's Comments Bother You?

NWLAX36Mom

By NWLAX36Mom
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

NWLAX36Mom Rookie
NWLAX36Mom
Posted

The other day I was eating gluten-free pizza for lunch a work. My boss came in and said, "Oh, is that on your diet?"

I know it is dumb, but it really ticked me off. I can handle my own diet restrictions fine. Further, I just don't think it is any of his business. If I want to cheat, that is my prerogative (I'm way too afraid to cheat) Just wondering if I am super sensitive or other people ever feel the same way.

Thanks!

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Daxin Explorer
Daxin
Posted

Some of the poeple I work with so the same thing, and it USED to bug me, but I found out that they were more curious that jerks! Most of them have a hard time understanding that most of the things they can eat that have gluten in them, can also be made without.

Once they learn we are not stupid and can managae our diets for ourselves, it will taper off. Of course, if this is not new to them, then maybe he just needs to be told he's not funny!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

I am not this way about my food, my coworkers are also more curious so they just ask and like right now I am sitting here eating Glutino pretzels and dunking them in peanut butter. I just let my cohorts sample them. They couldn't believe they tasted soo good. So if it is a snack that I can share I let them taste it. They love my Gluten Free Pantry brownies. My tray empties faster than when some of the others make gluten brownies.

I do get bothered by other things but I am a worrier and I usually am worried people do not like me. :unsure: I am working on getting better though. I have to say I am better than I was.

gfp Enthusiast
gfp
Posted
The other day I was eating gluten-free pizza for lunch a work. My boss came in and said, "Oh, is that on your diet?"

I know it is dumb, but it really ticked me off. I can handle my own diet restrictions fine. Further, I just don't think it is any of his business. If I want to cheat, that is my prerogative (I'm way too afraid to cheat) Just wondering if I am super sensitive or other people ever feel the same way.

Thanks!

I understand why it is annoying and you just have to put it down to people not understanding.

The problem is we need to actually make our condition known because of the social side of work... well you don't have to but it looks funny when you refuse the free meals or drinks etc.

As to his business? That's a toughy.. I can't speak for you but eating gluten would definately affect my ability to work...

which does make it his business.... in so far as you might be ill or you might not be functioning 100%...

I agree its not really his business though... but I think its one of those grey areas we will see differently than non celiacs.

2kids4me Contributor
2kids4me
Posted

Maybe he said it out loud - because he was surprised that there could be pizza in the celiac diet. I remember being so blank about what gluten free was and what foods my kids could have when they were first diagnosed. I thought - no doughnuts, pizza, spagetti.........little did I know!

Perhaps some bystanders with minimal knowledge would see someone they knew has celiac and eating pizza....they may jump to the wrong conclusion and think - oh she can have pizza....(thinking it was wheat based )

I would rather someone ask a question or make a comment that I could clarify.

My response would have been - I know - it does look decadent doesnt it?, I found this fabulous recipe for gluten pizza dough / or a place to buy frozen gluten-free pizza crusts.

It usually isnt anyone's place to comment about what we eat - but then I hear complaints about how no one "gets it" at the office. We all feel safer bringing our own foods or purchasing them and bringing them ( to the office, school, outings..)...use it as a teaching moment / conversational topic.

If I want to cheat, that is my prerogative

Yes, for any that do cheat, that is your perogative.....if you cheat at work....you eat gluten food in front of your boss ........then dont get mad when they dont bring in special food for a party - after all - looks like you can have gluten when you want to. At least that would be my response if I knew nothing about the diet.

[yes, I did see that you are too afraid to cheat but for anyone out there that is struggling with the diet and eats gluten at work, I wanted them to understand how that may impact how people see the diet]

Sandy

lovegrov Collaborator
lovegrov
Posted

Remarks have never really bothered me, even the really dumb ones. Your bodd might genuinely be concerned about you, or he might just be worried that you'll miss work if you're cheating.

richard

NWLAX36Mom Rookie
NWLAX36Mom
Posted
  • Author

Thanks for your responses. I felt like he was being more critical than anything, but maybe he was just surprised. I did tell him it was gluten-free.

For me, at least, it would be none of his business since I don't suffer any of the digestive symptoms of being glutened and it wouldn't affect my work at all. I don't know if this is harder or easier, having no idea if I eat something I shouldn't. Part of me is thankful that I don't have to worry about the diarrhea, etc. but part of my would like some sign that something was wrong!

BTW, I used to compete in bodybuilding and a gluten-free diet is so much easier for me that that!

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blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
Thanks for your responses. I felt like he was being more critical than anything, but maybe he was just surprised. I did tell him it was gluten-free.

For me, at least, it would be none of his business since I don't suffer any of the digestive symptoms of being glutened and it wouldn't affect my work at all. I don't know if this is harder or easier, having no idea if I eat something I shouldn't. Part of me is thankful that I don't have to worry about the diarrhea, etc. but part of my would like some sign that something was wrong!

BTW, I used to compete in bodybuilding and a gluten-free diet is so much easier for me that that!

I would be happier if I didn't have to deal with the stomach issues. I think it helped me find out something was really wrong, but it was very hard to keep a job and be having the "D" constantly.

Kyalesyin Apprentice
Kyalesyin
Posted

We've had some really dumb comments, the winner so far coming from my grandmother. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Stef's got a gluten intolerance, so we can't have anything with wheat in it

Grandma: I wouldn't worry about that dear. You can kill gluten by cooking it well.

Me: ???? No, you really can't. She can't even have a tiny bit, its really bad for her

Grandma: I get the feeling dear that bacteria are very bad for everyone, but if you actually bothered to cook your food it wouldn't be a problem.

I'm sure you can imagine my face at this point: :blink: My grandmother thought that gluten was a type of bacteria.

confused Community Regular
confused
Posted

I have not gotten any weird comments to me, thank goodness.

But my step-son was talking to his mom on the phone this weekend telling her he has celiac disease. And she was like oh no what is that and he goes i cant have gluten. SHe was like well what is gluten, so he gives her the laydown on gluten and how it attacks your body and flattens your villi. She was very confused. He is like well it it just like what your sister has, and she was like no she had graves disease, and he was like yes and celiac disease. Then he goes well it can cause cancer, and she is like well you dont want to get colon cancer.

paula

Born2run2 Rookie
Born2run2
Posted

I get a little hot under the collar when people tell me they feel sorry for me. I had someone say "it is too bad you have read every label before you buy anything. It must be rough to have to be that careful." I'm not looking for anyones pity, that is not how I want to run my life. So I can see where it would bother you to have people make comments. But I know they don't mean any harm, so I try to take the comment in the spirit it is given. Judy

2kids4me Contributor
2kids4me
Posted
"it is too bad you have read every label before you buy anything. It must be rough to have to be that careful."

I guess it depends how someone says it - it sounds empathetic rather than pity. Someone recognized that its more work to buy food than most people when you have to read labels - be it for gluten or peanuts or soy.

I have had people say almost exactly the same thing to me - I simply respond with the truth - it was hard at first but now it's second nature plus the kids are feeling wonderful now. This can lead to a conversation about celiac which helps spread the word about it ...making more people aware is a good thing, IMHO

Sandy

lfij Newbie
lfij
Posted
I guess it depends how someone says it - it sounds empathetic rather than pity. Someone recognized that its more work to buy food than most people when you have to read labels - be it for gluten or peanuts or soy.

I have had people say almost exactly the same thing to me - I simply respond with the truth - it was hard at first but now it's second nature plus the kids are feeling wonderful now. This can lead to a conversation about celiac which helps spread the word about it ...making more people aware is a good thing, IMHO

Sandy

actually, i think when anyone makes ANY comment it is a positive, it means they're actually AWARE of it. when people are curious i think it's great and try and answer any questions.

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

My favorite came from my boyfriend's mother. A few weeks ago we had Easter dinner and I had to actually show her on the label for the glaze on the ham (that she dug out of the trash) where it had dangerous stuff. We went back two weeks laer and she offered me a sandwich. Maybe SHE has brain fog.

Anyway, I think it's actually very sweet when people I'm aqcuainted with keep track of what I'm eating. My boyfriend is the best, he thinks of stuff I don't! Like the sponge thing, I never thought of that. I've never gotten a nasty vibe from it, I've mostly had people either give me the blank stare or be genuinely concerned for my health.

debmidge Rising Star
debmidge
Posted
We've had some really dumb comments, the winner so far coming from my grandmother. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Stef's got a gluten intolerance, so we can't have anything with wheat in it

Grandma: I wouldn't worry about that dear. You can kill gluten by cooking it well.

Me: ???? No, you really can't. She can't even have a tiny bit, its really bad for her

Grandma: I get the feeling dear that bacteria are very bad for everyone, but if you actually bothered to cook your food it wouldn't be a problem.

I'm sure you can imagine my face at this point: :blink: My grandmother thought that gluten was a type of bacteria.

My mother in law said something like this statement of "Grandma" and right after that we discovered she had dementia. She too thought you could "kill" gluten in the oven.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

I like the people who say it is just white flour.

Nantzie Collaborator
Nantzie
Posted
I like the people who say it is just white flour.

My favorite is when people are told that by people working in bakeries.

:lol::lol::lol:

Nancy

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Nancy-you are right

Or people who think you are gluten free to control your weight.

Someone where I work said to me, it must be great not to have cake and cookies, and the whole time I am thinking to myself...not exactly.

chrissy Collaborator
chrissy
Posted

my youngest celiac daughter is still in grade school. i think it is really cool when her friends ask her if something she is eating is safe. i feel like they are interested in her and want to help her stay healthy.

Blades Newbie
Blades
Posted

I'm only recently gluten-free and my sister thinks it's a fad diet. She planned my birthday meal of pizza and cake and told me I could eat one of those Amy's pizzas. Well, the two Gluten-free varieties are spinach and cheese which both sound kind of grody to me. I think it's kind of like me taking her (a vegetarian) to a steak house for her birthday and telling her she can eat the french fries!

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

Nope. Inquisitiveness is a good trait, IMHO, and that he asked the question shows that he remembered something!

sfm Apprentice
sfm
Posted
The other day I was eating gluten-free pizza for lunch a work. My boss came in and said, "Oh, is that on your diet?"

I know it is dumb, but it really ticked me off. I can handle my own diet restrictions fine. Further, I just don't think it is any of his business. If I want to cheat, that is my prerogative (I'm way too afraid to cheat) Just wondering if I am super sensitive or other people ever feel the same way.

Thanks!

I'm not sure your boss meant any harm. My friends an coworkers are curious about how I deal with my food issues, so they ask because they are honestly wondering.

sfm Apprentice
sfm
Posted
I get a little hot under the collar when people tell me they feel sorry for me. I had someone say "it is too bad you have read every label before you buy anything. It must be rough to have to be that careful." I'm not looking for anyones pity, that is not how I want to run my life. So I can see where it would bother you to have people make comments. But I know they don't mean any harm, so I try to take the comment in the spirit it is given. Judy

I agree that they probably don't mean any harm. I know it is frustrating, but I think it might be less pity and more that they are appreciating how difficult it can be.

sfm Apprentice
sfm
Posted
my youngest celiac daughter is still in grade school. i think it is really cool when her friends ask her if something she is eating is safe. i feel like they are interested in her and want to help her stay healthy.

Sometimes children seem to be the ones to grasp the concept easiest - my own children are very careful about cross contamination.

NWLAX36Mom Rookie
NWLAX36Mom
Posted
  • Author

I guess it wouldn't have bothered me if it sounded like he was surprised at what I was eating or being inquisitive. But the way he said it, I felt more like he was accusing me of doing something I shouldn't.

I think I'll give him another test. I'll try eating a bagel in front of him sometime soon and see if he says anything. I'll be sure to listen to his tone, etc. and see if I was wrong!

BTW, I also think it is interesting when people say things like, "Oh, you are being so good, you are not eating a bun with your burger". Well that would be nice! Anyway, I really don't feel like explaining it to everyone or making a big deal out of it so I just let that type of comment go.

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