I Hate My Job!

[gdobson]

I had always been the "office cheerleader" when it came to employee morale. And my boss and I got along very well. Last year my coworkers voted my team player of the year. But someone questioned my boss recently on our "relationship" (which I assure you there is not one), and ever snce then - about 3 months now - he has been going out of his way to be harder on me to prove to everyone that I don't get special treatment.

And I can't hardly stand coming in here any more. He keeps taking away parts of my job that he knows I like the best. He even scheduled the employee appreciation dinner for when I'm on vacation. On my reviews I put that one of the things I like to do most is plan employee events. When I reminded him about the vacation conflict, he glared at me. "It would do us some good to plan something without you." And he likes to insert insults periodically about my intelligence or my educational background (which is good but from a different state and therefore not up to his par).

So now my morale at work has been gradually dragged down to nothing. I'm sure it will be reflected on my review later this month which I'm dreading. I look every day for a new job that pays as much. So far nothing.

I'm crushed and depressed. Is it ok to carry on like this every day? I guess lots of people hate their jobs and just show up every day for a check. But I have never been like that. I'ld walk out today if I could.

This is not like me.

[blueeyedmanda]

I have to say I understand exactly where you are coming from. I had dreaded my job for a long time. It just slightly improved and I am a little more at ease. My problem had nothing to do with my boss but more along the lines to do with the other coworkers. I started this job almost 2 years ago, and I am not sure why but I had the hardest time being accepted into the group. I was not the only one, I came in with 4 other new people. Just when you would get comfortable with one person a different person would start acting strange. I also started looking for something different but the pay was the clicker and I could not find anything that would pay the same. There have been days when I have told my fiance, look I am not going back there. I always do though. I am a little too scared to quit. I have bills to pay. Right now I am not struggling so much, but I do feel uneasy around a coworker I used to be friends with, she has turned on me and I don't trust her one bit. I also work with all women and I hear that's hard. My previous job I was the only girl with 4 guys. There was never that cattiness.

[gdobson]

Oh, yes, I understand the office politics with all women. It's strange how we can do that to one another. That is actually what spawned my issues here. The women started gossiping about how I was favored and got privileged treatment, and so on and so forth. And what is she doing to get that? You know the lines.

I keep thinking I wish I could stay home and write. But I need to get paid. So here I sit.

I guess I'll just keep looking. Something will come along. I can't wait to walk in and say I'm out of here! Until then...I just have to grin and bear it.

Thanks for the support.

[kbtoyssni]

Could you talk to someone above your boss about the issues you've been having? Or an HR rep? Or transfer to a different area of the company if it's a large enough company?

[gdobson]

Could you talk to someone above your boss about the issues you've been having? Or an HR rep? Or transfer to a different area of the company if it's a large enough company?

Those are good ideas - But I'm the HR rep. And to transfer would mean moving. I thought about talking to my boss right away...but he is very moody and is one of those people that - you know - he's always right and blocks everything else out.

Right now my plan is just to get all the training I can (signed up for some more SAP training) and keep looking for another local HR position that will pay the same.

Oh, did I mention I'm in a post glutening depression? That makes everything seem worse.

[CarlaB]

I would tell this to your boss. What have you got to lose?

Life's too short to stay at a job you hate. If talking to your boss honestly like you have to us doesn't help, definately look for something else. I'd rather make less money making lattes and talking to customers who are happy (because they're somewhere they enjoy), than make more in an environment that made me miserable.

[gdobson]

I would tell this to your boss. What have you got to lose?

Life's too short to stay at a job you hate. If talking to your boss honestly like you have to us doesn't help, definately look for something else. I'd rather make less money making lattes and talking to customers who are happy (because they're somewhere they enjoy), than make more in an environment that made me miserable.

Well, I do like lattes

I'll wait until my review to talk to him (in a couple weeks). He is just so grouchy and intimidating that most everyone here is afraid to approach him. I hate to poke the bear in the cage.

[CarlaB]

Another thing that comes to mind is, does your boss have a history of office affairs? If so, the treatment of you may be a result of your denial of having one ... maybe he was trying to start something. If that's the case, I wouldn't bother saying anything to him.

If not, I think it would be appropriate to point out how happy you used to be with the job and how now you are keeping your options open if something else comes along ... that you're looking. Maybe that will make him realize how he's treating you.

[UR Groovy]

I'm hesitant to give advice on this sort of thing, because it's not right for every situation, however, I'm going to tell you what happened to me because it may motivate you to somehow avoid what happened to me.

I had a really great job as an administrative assistant & personal assistant to the owner - money was great, I loved the actual job. For some reason, around April, 2005, my boss began to turn on me (previously, I could do no wrong). It got to be unbearable. I decided to look for another job, because I just couldn't take it anymore. I scheduled 4 consecutive 3-day weekends for jobseeking. My boss figured out what I was up to before the vacation days came & pulled me into his office. After 2 hours of hashing it out, he convinced me to stay by telling me of all the ways that things would change. My 3-day weekends went by & things settled down a bit at the office. Then, it began happening again - only worse, and now, I was stuck there - with only a few remaining vacation days. I finally lost it one day after about a week of torturing myself about it. I walked out in August - with no recommendations and a bad reference after I had poured my soul into that job.

My point is this: You know what's best for yourself. If you think it's worth it, stick it out, but if it gets to the point where you're actually looking for another job (it looks like you're about there), keep that track - don't let someone else talk you into staying against your will. A job change is always challenging, but it's really tough starting over if you walk out on your job.

I do feel for you - hope it works out well.

[Mango04]

Office politics are the worst I left my last job a year ago and to this day, I cannot believe the types of rumors that would go around about me there. I know how difficult it is to feel trapped in a situation like that. I did finally up and leave (though I did it on good terms and they told me I was welcome back).

I think the best thing is to stick it out there if you have to, but put all of your thoughts and energy toward finding something better. I'm happier now in a lower paying position, but it was a real struggle for a while to find a new job.

[gdobson]

Another thing that comes to mind is, does your boss have a history of office affairs? If so, the treatment of you may be a result of your denial of having one ... maybe he was trying to start something. If that's the case, I wouldn't bother saying anything to him.

If not, I think it would be appropriate to point out how happy you used to be with the job and how now you are keeping your options open if something else comes along ... that you're looking. Maybe that will make him realize how he's treating you.

You are right, Carla. He has been known for that sort of thing (before I started here - but I still heard all the dirt). I think he is probably trying extra hard to make sure it doesn't look like that again.

[gdobson]

I'm hesitant to give advice on this sort of thing, because it's not right for every situation, however, I'm going to tell you what happened to me because it may motivate you to somehow avoid what happened to me.

I had a really great job as an administrative assistant & personal assistant to the owner - money was great, I loved the actual job. For some reason, around April, 2005, my boss began to turn on me (previously, I could do no wrong). It got to be unbearable. I decided to look for another job, because I just couldn't take it anymore. I scheduled 4 consecutive 3-day weekends for jobseeking. My boss figured out what I was up to before the vacation days came & pulled me into his office. After 2 hours of hashing it out, he convinced me to stay by telling me of all the ways that things would change. My 3-day weekends went by & things settled down a bit at the office. Then, it began happening again - only worse, and now, I was stuck there - with only a few remaining vacation days. I finally lost it one day after about a week of torturing myself about it. I walked out in August - with no recommendations and a bad reference after I had poured my soul into that job.

My point is this: You know what's best for yourself. If you think it's worth it, stick it out, but if it gets to the point where you're actually looking for another job (it looks like you're about there), keep that track - don't let someone else talk you into staying against your will. A job change is always challenging, but it's really tough starting over if you walk out on your job.

I do feel for you - hope it works out well.

kat,

that is so how it has been with me. People even said I was the only one in the office the boss liked...8 years of the good life.

You're right - I have to do what's best for me and my family. I will stick it out here and continue my daily search.

And Carla, you are right - I'll try to approach it gracefully during my review.

[gdobson]

Office politics are the worst I left my last job a year ago and to this day, I cannot believe the types of rumors that would go around about me there. I know how difficult it is to feel trapped in a situation like that. I did finally up and leave (though I did it on good terms and they told me I was welcome back).

I think the best thing is to stick it out there if you have to, but put all of your thoughts and energy toward finding something better. I'm happier now in a lower paying position, but it was a real struggle for a while to find a new job.

Thanks Mango -

I thought there for a while I would just quit and take anything. But I will keep smiling and doing my job and look for the next bright spot - ah if I knew in college what I know now

[cruelshoes]

Right now my plan is just to get all the training I can (signed up for some more SAP training) and keep looking for another local HR position that will pay the same.

Keep up with that SAP training. At my employer, they are always screaming for people with SAP experience. The SAP developers especially make some major cash! I have been working with it for 6 months or so, and hope it will serve me well sometime down the road.

I had a horrible boss a few years ago. She micromanaged me, and tracked my arrival/departure times every day to look for an excuse to write me up (she made notes in her Outlook calendar which she gave me access to so I could see her doing it). I just kept my head down and did my job until she transferred to another division. I was hoping she would get hit by a bus, but a transfer works too.

[gdobson]

Keep up with that SAP training. At my employer, they are always screaming for people with SAP experience. The SAP developers especially make some major cash! I have been working with it for 6 months or so, and hope it will serve me well sometime down the road.

I had a horrible boss a few years ago. She micromanaged me, and tracked my arrival/departure times every day to look for an excuse to write me up (she made notes in her Outlook calendar which she gave me access to so I could see her doing it). I just kept my head down and did my job until she transferred to another division. I was hoping she would get hit by a bus, but a transfer works too.

Funny - and good point. I'm taking all the training I can get. Also signed up for recruitment training. And my boss always said he was tranferring after his youngest graduated from hs. That just happened!

[Rusla]

When I started my job, I loved it and the coordinator. However, half way through coordinators changed the new took away all our stress toys, no more pats on the back for good things, only kicks in the face. I rewrote a manual for them and I was given three hours to do it in, others rewrote a section of another manual and were given a week to do it in. When, supposed appreciation went out everyone but me was thanked. When they decide to do something for us who deal with ot and other things they order in KFC and Pizza. People now leave there in droves. The coordinator lies to us about everything and there is no morale in the place I work. Most of us are so depressed we are just looking for a chance to get out of there.

Yes, I can relate to how you feel about your job.

[gdobson]

When I started my job, I loved it and the coordinator. However, half way through coordinators changed the new took away all our stress toys, no more pats on the back for good things, only kicks in the face. I rewrote a manual for them and I was given three hours to do it in, others rewrote a section of another manual and were given a week to do it in. When, supposed appreciation went out everyone but me was thanked. When they decide to do something for us who deal with ot and other things they order in KFC and Pizza. People now leave there in droves. The coordinator lies to us about everything and there is no morale in the place I work. Most of us are so depressed we are just looking for a chance to get out of there.

Yes, I can relate to how you feel about your job.

Geez Rusula, that's terrible. But, yeah, it makes me feel better.

Thanks