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Mom Thinks I Was Cursed By The Devil...lol! Rant

Bravie

By Bravie
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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Bravie Apprentice
Bravie
Posted

My mom thinks that me and my male twin ( he was stricken with chron's and I believe he may have celiac disease too) are cursed by the devil, because we are the only two in our family that we know of with auto immune disease...We tried explaining to her that these things obviously run in our family (Diabetes is pretty high on my father's side of the family, I honestly think it might be linked to celiac). But no. She is sticking to the fact that "we were cursed by the devil because of our 'wrong doings'" (Wrong doings meaning, we make mistakes like forget to turn off the bathroom light and accidently fall asleep on the couch. So basically 'we are being cursed' because we're not perfect, or atleast thats how she sees it) :rolleyes:

The thing that bugs me the most though is the fact that she expects me to clean up the kitched space when I finish cooking, which I do each and every night. However, after she makes dinner, she leaves all kinds of gluteny stains and messes everywhere, my brother usually has to clean them up since my skin reacts to touching gluten. I mean, its just not fair! And its hazardous to my health! I've told her time and time again that I cannot get contaminated by crumbs and food etc, containing gluten. She thinks its all in my head and that i'm a retard <_<

Idk if it is her old age or not, but ever since I was diagnosed about a year ago, she's been picking on me alot. I mean, she's been picking fights with me for the past 6 months, EVERY NIGHT! Like saying all this crap about wishing she had perfect kids, and that maybe if me and my twin brother were better, god might not have allowed us to get sick...And to me, I get the impression that she wishes she had 'better kids'. I can't even start up a normal conversation with her without it turning in to an argument, because she'd end up calling me a name or something :angry: It's driving me nuts.

I've agreed to move in with my boyfriend in 2 months, but she has been trying to keep me from going. My health is failing living here and she doesn't understand that. And since my boyfriend also follows a strict gluten free diet ( He doesnt have Celiac disease, but he has very severe type 2 diabetes. He doesn't eat processed food. He's well aware of my cross contamination issues, so whenever he's over here, he keeps an eye out on me xD) My mom does not like him because she does not want me to date guys (even though i'll be 21 in 5 weeks!)

Just, how do I cope with things until I get out of here? I've tried everything I can to convince her that Celiac disease is the real deal. Has anyone else had to deal with something similar or worst than this before?

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  • Replies 52
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pixiegirl Enthusiast
pixiegirl
Posted

I'm sure some might say talk to her, show her stuff on the internet, etc. And sometimes that works, but if you've already done that and she doesn't want to believe it, I'm not sure there is much you can do.

I'm lucky in that my mom believes me, but I have to be honest and say she didn't right away, but over the past few years she see's how sick I get then I do get accidently glutened so I think over time she's gotten on board. The rest of my family puts up with gluten-free but I know they don't buy it for a minute.

My ex-husband told our daughter I have Mauchaussens by Proxy Syndrome (a disease where a mom intentionally makes her children sick and takes the to the hospital for attention) because I told him our daughter must be gluten-free (2 positive rounds of blood work for her and a gluten-free diet changes how she feels and her mood). ** I don't have that disease, my child has never been to a hospital and other then a peanut allergy has no other health issues**

My mom sort of felt my saying the disease was genetic was some sort of blow to her ego! She aid for a year, no one else in my family has it so how could it be me?! (everyone including her has stomach issues). So the bottom line is if someone doesn't accept it or is in denial you can't "make" them believe.

Maybe you should move in with the BF sooner it sounds like the best idea for your health. If not, you'll just have to do the best you can until then.

Good luck, Susan

pixiegirl Enthusiast
pixiegirl
Posted

I'm sure some might say talk to her, show her stuff on the internet, etc. And sometimes that works, but if you've already done that and she doesn't want to believe it, I'm not sure there is much you can do.

I'm lucky in that my mom believes me, but I have to be honest and say she didn't right away, but over the past few years she see's how sick I get then I do get accidently glutened so I think over time she's gotten on board. The rest of my family puts up with gluten-free but I know they don't buy it for a minute.

My ex-husband told our daughter I have Mauchaussens by Proxy Syndrome (a disease where a mom intentionally makes her children sick and takes the to the hospital for attention) because I told him our daughter must be gluten-free (2 positive rounds of blood work for her and a gluten-free diet changes how she feels and her mood). ** I don't have that disease, my child has never been to a hospital and other then a peanut allergy has no other health issues**

My mom sort of felt my saying the disease was genetic was some sort of blow to her ego! She aid for a year, no one else in my family has it so how could it be me?! (everyone including her has stomach issues). So the bottom line is if someone doesn't accept it or is in denial you can't "make" them believe.

Maybe you should move in with the BF sooner it sounds like the best idea for your health. If not, you'll just have to do the best you can until then.

Good luck, Susan

Mom23boys Contributor
Mom23boys
Posted

I could be wrong but you might want to look up Narcissistic personality disorder. To me it sounds like your Mom is one of these and it may bring you comfort hearing other's stories and knowing you defiantly are not alone and there is a name for the disorder.

We didn't have gluten issues until recently but I had to deal with shellfish and milk while living at home. My Mom was horrible. I would buy my foods and she would eat them all up (when we the same type of stuff with milk in the house) and complain the whole time about how nasty tasting they were. She would literally make herself sick gorging on it all.

Then there were the recipes...I would make one of "her" recipes but use my sub. She would go on and on about what a horrible cook I was, I would never be as good as she was, and to NEVER call this one of "her" recipes. :rolleyes: It goes on from there but you get the idea.

I have since learned that my Mom probably had this disorder. She is dead now so I am guessing based upon what I have read - no real testing or anything like that. I wish I had known it back then. On one level you know you are not cursed or horrible but there is that other part that still stings. At least with that knowledge I have been able to find personal closure for many things. :)

itchygirl Newbie
itchygirl
Posted

Here is the link to show her that celiac and diabetes are linked, however, if she thinks the devil is cursing you your Mom may have other issues. If this sort of odd religious ideation is recent, she may be developing dementia. Subcortical brain damage causes religious persecution ideas. You may want to talk to her doctor about this demon cursing thing....

Open Original Shared Link

temporolimbic systems in religious experience and religious delusions is a really interesting topic if you would care to look into it further.

Also, there is this...if your Mom is undiagnosed Celiac....

Open Original Shared Link

ScienceDaily (Feb. 20, 2004) People with a history of the digestive disorder celiac disease are three times more likely to develop schizophrenia than those without the disease, according to a report by Danish researchers and a researcher at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. The report is published in the February 21, 2004, edition of the British Medical Journal.

Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder that impairs the body's ability to digest the protein gluten, which is found in grains and many other foods. The condition can lead to diarrhea, weight loss and malnutrition. William W. Eaton, PhD, lead author of the report and interim chair of the Department of Mental Health at the School of Public Health, said, "For years, scientists have suspected a link between celiac disease and schizophrenia. Our research shows that the link is moderately strong."

dbmamaz Explorer
dbmamaz
Posted

All I can offer is sympathy - your mother is clearly irrational. I would forget trying to change her in any way, just live the next few weeks trying to stay out of her way as much as possible. I wonder if you can encourage your twin to get testing for celiac too, maybe once you have a home base away from home, you can even offer him some support with that. I'm sorry your mother is making your life so rough - it will be so much better once you are out of the house!

And of course, its not your fault for having celiac . .. and its not your fault for having a mother who's incapable of supporting you in the way you deserve . .. but at least you have a bf who will.

L.A. Contributor
L.A.
Posted

I was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at age 13 and developed celiac's in my 30's--the specialist said the two tend to go hand in hand. The devil had nothing to do with it :lol: Hang in there until you move out.

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Tori's Dad Apprentice
Tori's Dad
Posted

Bravie,

As a parent with a Celiac daughter, and husband to a Celiac wife I am amazed/horrified when I read stories about parents like yours. I am so sorry.

It sounds like she is imune to medical logic and is in need of some Biblical logic as well. Tell her that God punishing his people for their sins went out with the Old Testament. God sacrificed his only Son to wash away our sins, no matter what they are. Jesus taught us about forgiveness and compassion, not judgement and condemnation.

kbtoyssni Contributor
kbtoyssni
Posted

I think you should move out ASAP. I don't think there's much that you can do to change her mind. I'd also recommend some counseling for you - it may help deal with this dysfunctional family situation. This is your life, you really need to focus on what's best for you. I read a great book on dysfunctional families a while back that might be helpful for you, and I'll see if I can find the name of it.

mommida Enthusiast
mommida
Posted

I just want to add to the other posts.

As a Celiac with Celiac children, your mom has serious issues. I would do anything to keep my children from suffering. I hold them when they are sick. Try and encourage them when their spirits are let down. (I won't let them drown in self pity either)

Others have mentioned possible disorders your mother might have. She is ill, and that is not your fault or hers, or the devils.

Pack your things as soon as possible and get healthy. ((HUGS))

Phyllis28 Apprentice
Phyllis28
Posted
Pack your things as soon as possible and get healthy. ((HUGS))

I agree.

dksart Apprentice
dksart
Posted

WOW :blink: !

You just made me feel so much better about any little problems with my own family I may have been experiencing.

I agree with much of what was said above. It is highly likely that your mom is an undiagnosed celiac and the effects are manifesting as some sort of wicked dementia.

Good luck to you and your brother!

itchygirl Newbie
itchygirl
Posted

A foothote on the mental health in undiagnosed celiac...My brother is completely paranoid and self medicates with street drugs....he also has the D, weight loss the same kind of rash I had before going gluten-free. While I'm not exactly right in the head myself, he can be violent and dangerious (I'm just doofy :P )

Whatever it is it runs in our family, as my grandmother and her father were both instutionalized. Since that side of the family is red headed irish, I've always wondered if celiac was involved in their mental health issues. My great grandfather was ranting about angels and demons when he was placed in the State Hospital. So the whole religious fruitcake thing is something I've spent a lot of time trying to understand, since I do not want to end up like that.

I've got a pic of my great grandfather where you can see the rash on his hands, just like mine used to be and just like my brothers! Its freaky.

Talk about a real incentive not to cheat...anyway, I hope you can move out soon and that having some distance from your Mom makes things better.

fedora Enthusiast
fedora
Posted

I hope things get better for you, You are not cursed. You are blessed to have found the cause of your ailments so young!!! I hope your mom gets more stable, but if not, it is not your fault.

Itchy girl,

I so relate...beside I am an itchy girl too!!!We are red headed scottish.

My grandmother is mentally ill and my whole family thinks she is crazy. All along I have known that what was "wrong" with me she had too. It scared me to death. I do not want to end up like her. I will never cheat. she had rashes on her hands up to her elbows. I have them on my hands. she also had digestive issues. She is very ill now from melanoma.

Like your brother, in the past I self medicated with rec. substances until I got scared of them too :P After being totally sober for years( I can't drink any alcohol at all) I still would go into altered states. I would just randomnly get stoned. That was always fun in public :lol: I looked like such an airhead.

Dandelion Contributor
Dandelion
Posted

While I am sorry that your family is treating you this way, may I please ask that people stop using the word "retard" to describe something stupid. My younger brother IS mentally retarded (he has Down Syndrome) and he is not stupid or dumb. To use retard as a derogatory word shows a lack of compassion and understanding. This might not be the right place for this rant but it pisses me off to see people use that word so flippantly. Why is "retard" still seen as acceptable in this pc world???

sickchick Community Regular
sickchick
Posted

I am wheat-tarded! :lol:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
While I am sorry that your family is treating you this way, may I please ask that people stop using the word "retard" to describe something stupid. My younger brother IS mentally retarded (he has Down Syndrome) and he is not stupid or dumb. To use retard as a derogatory word shows a lack of compassion and understanding. This might not be the right place for this rant but it pisses me off to see people use that word so flippantly. Why is "retard" still seen as acceptable in this pc world???

Agreed, (my son has Downs) ;)

Dandelion Contributor
Dandelion
Posted
I am wheat-tarded! :lol:

Seriously, how is that funny after what I just said?

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
Seriously, how is that funny after what I just said?

The clue is in the name I think

Bravie Apprentice
Bravie
Posted
  • Author

Yea, I think my mom might be suffering from undiagnosed Celiac disease. She has rashes all over her body, she has loose stools, and a ton of neuro problems to list a few. I want to help her and it seems pretty much impossible at this point. She has deliberately contaminated my food, grabbed food from my plate without asking and without washing her hands, and she just completely bashes me every chance she can get.

While I am sorry that your family is treating you this way, may I please ask that people stop using the word "retard" to describe something stupid. My younger brother IS mentally retarded (he has Down Syndrome) and he is not stupid or dumb. To use retard as a derogatory word shows a lack of compassion and understanding. This might not be the right place for this rant but it pisses me off to see people use that word so flippantly. Why is "retard" still seen as acceptable in this pc world???

Yea, I think the word is completely unacceptable and I do not use it in my daily speech. I am simply quoting the word that my mom used against me on more than one occasion :unsure: My best friend of 13 years is mentally challenged, and she is the smartest person I have ever met to be honest. Best friend a girl could ever have :P

Bravie Apprentice
Bravie
Posted
  • Author

Yea, I think my mom might be suffering from undiagnosed Celiac disease. She has rashes all over her body, she has loose stools, and a ton of neuro problems to list a few. I want to help her and it seems pretty much impossible at this point. She has deliberately contaminated my food, grabbed food from my plate without asking and without washing her hands, and she just completely bashes me every chance she can get.

While I am sorry that your family is treating you this way, may I please ask that people stop using the word "retard" to describe something stupid. My younger brother IS mentally retarded (he has Down Syndrome) and he is not stupid or dumb. To use retard as a derogatory word shows a lack of compassion and understanding. This might not be the right place for this rant but it pisses me off to see people use that word so flippantly. Why is "retard" still seen as acceptable in this pc world???

Yea, I think the word is completely unacceptable and I do not use it in my daily speech. I am simply quoting the word that my mom used against me on more than one occasion :unsure: My best friend of 13 years is mentally challenged, and she is the smartest person I have ever met to be honest. Best friend a girl could ever have :P

dksart Apprentice
dksart
Posted
While I am sorry that your family is treating you this way, may I please ask that people stop using the word "retard" to describe something stupid. My younger brother IS mentally retarded (he has Down Syndrome) and he is not stupid or dumb. To use retard as a derogatory word shows a lack of compassion and understanding. This might not be the right place for this rant but it pisses me off to see people use that word so flippantly. Why is "retard" still seen as acceptable in this pc world???

bravo.

Glutenfreefamily Enthusiast
Glutenfreefamily
Posted

Itchy- Please consider leaving and either getting your own place or moving in with the boyfriend. It sounds like she has multiple personality disorder to me. It is extremely unhealthy to deal with that on a day to day basis. Living with a person with that disorder without help is exhausting, self esteem killing, and it can effect you in many ways since you grew up with a mom like that.

With regards to the words that were used, yeah its very hurtful to others but Im sure you didnt mean to offend anyone.

Glutenfreefamily Enthusiast
Glutenfreefamily
Posted

Dandelion- Unfortunately it is okay it seems like to cut down others :angry:

Be it obesity, the elderly, mental illness, or mental retardation for some reason those are "accepted". I'll never understand why :(

shayesmom Rookie
shayesmom
Posted

No, you are not being "cursed" by the devil with your autoimmune disorder. You are being BLESSED by God by being given the answer in how to overcome it. If anyone is "cursed", it is your mom because she is not seeing the error of her ways! lol!! Of course, I'm sure it will be difficult to show her the "light" on this one. But ultimately, it's all a matter of perspective, now isn't it?

I'm afraid that you won't be able to change her views, and in reality, that isn't your cross to bear. Thank goodness that you are of an age that you can move out and move on. The sooner, the better. Once you acheive some distance, she may become easier to deal with. The only suggestion I would have for now is to try and make yourself as "scarce" as possible. You can't argue with a person who isn't there.

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