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blueeyedmanda

A Tough Choice To Make

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So our downstairs neighbor has a 5 month old son who is wonderful, his name is Landen. She works weekends 3rd shift as a nurse at our hospital. She works 7pm-7am. We have watched her son a few times when the regular babysitter canceled last minute. It was great for us, since it gave us the practice for when we have a child. She has told me on occasion that the babysitter doesn't play with him just sticks him in a swing, and the baby always cries when Jen drops him off. So I told my husband John that I think the babysitter is looking for a way to get out of this. This evening Jen told me she is getting vibes that the babysitter is not wanting to do it anymore. (turns out she is newly single and wants to go out and party)

So John has already said maybe we should watch him on the weekends. The baby was very comfortable with us last weekend, there were no cries when he was dropped off and he was happy in the morning when she came home. She even commented on that. John enjoyed spending time with him and even offered to wake-up with him overnight. Jen forgot to leave his carseat last week but she said she didn't mind if we ran out and took him to the store. We would be able to take him and run to the grocery store or down to John's parents to visit if we needed. He is very well-behaved and didn't seem to mind the change of scenery.

He wouldn't cramp our weekend style, we are usually homebodies. Occasionally we take a trip to my families, 2 hrs away but with the rising gas prices that wouldn't happen as often. We usually do some grocery shopping and come home and watch a movie. We just are not one of those couples who is out all the time....we just want to save up for our first home. As mentioned above we could always take him out too.

She pays decent money to her current babysitter who has not been dependable lately. I think it would give her some piece of mind to know he is happy and he is with people that want him too. She would only have to bring him upstairs so she would not have to leave over an hour early for work to drop him off and then turn and go to work.

Jen has not asked us yet....I am not sure she will as to not put us on the spot. We are going to think it through another day and then talk to her.

What all do you guys think?


~~~~Gluten Free since 9/2004~~~~~~

Friends may come and go but Sillies are Forever!!!!!!!

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Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

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I'm old enough to be a grandfather, but we have no children, so take this with a grain of salt, Manda.

Landen seems to be happy spending time with you and John. Both of you enjoy having Landen around. Jen needs a minder for her son and would pay something for it. You and John are saving for a home.

Unless I am missing something, the answer is clear: everybody wins if you do this.

:)


Peter

Diagnosis by biopsy of practically non-existent villi; gluten-free since July 2000. I was retested five years later and the biopsy was normal. You can beat this disease!

Type 1 (autoimmune) diabetes diagnosed in March 1986

Markham, Ontario (borders on Toronto)

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator since 2007

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Unless I am missing something, the answer is clear: everybody wins if you do this.

My thoughts too.

You sound like a way better match for the baby then the current sitter. It will give her peace of mind with him being with you. It is so stressful when the kids don't want to be with someone. You are in a dream location too!


Shellfish free since 1980

Milk free (all forms) since 1991

Feingold in 2003

First gluten-free round 2007

Now entering full time Gluten free, egg free, almond/peanut free

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I would come right out and offer. You should get any monetary agreement in writing if possible but I would do it even if she is reluctant to do so. It sounds like you guys enjoy the baby and he enjoys you. Just be sure that she leaves that car seat every weekend, do NOT get in the car unless the baby is in one. In the event of an accident the baby will be a flying missle, and you will run the risk of being charged with negligent homicide if the worst should occur. This happened recently in my town, the Mom was even in the car at the time of the accident. There was an accident and the baby was thrown from the car and died. The 17 year old who was driving is facing years in prison. The Mom has run from the police, leaving her remaining live child to be raised by other family members.


Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying

"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)

Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002

Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis

All bold resoved or went into remission in time with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002

 Gene Test Aug 2007

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

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Thanks Everyone. I think we are going to offer. We love children! :) :)

Sounds like a win win to me.

I'd go for it.

Hugs

Judy


Judy in Southern CA

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I'm old enough to be a grandfather, but we have no children, so take this with a grain of salt, Manda.

Landen seems to be happy spending time with you and John. Both of you enjoy having Landen around. Jen needs a minder for her son and would pay something for it. You and John are saving for a home.

Unless I am missing something, the answer is clear: everybody wins if you do this.

:)

I was going to say something similar. Sounds like you already know what you want to do ;)


Jillian

Positive Blood test and Biopsy

Inflamed stomach lining

Gluten free since July 6, 2005

Tarrytown, NY

"Sometimes being a b$tch is all a woman has to hold onto." - Dolores Claiborne

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I really like this idea for you, Amanda. And good for you two, for thinking it out so thoroughly before offering!!!


-Sarah

--Son, Lucas, age 7. Gluten-free since May 2007

--Son, Ezra, age 5. Gluten-free 10/13/07. Bipolar tendencies, massively improved on gluten-free diet! He's also allergic to a jillion antibiotics.

--My mother has Celiac Disease, dx'ed by Positive Blood Tests and Biopsy. Diagnosed Sarcoidosis 6/08.

--Myself, Gluten-free since 8/07

Time heals all hurt of heart... but time must be won.

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Just wanted to add my "thumbs up" that you should offer, but echo what ravenwoodglass said about the car seat. Option "B" could be for you to pick one up at a yard sale or resale shop. If you do that, be sure to check the recall list before you buy.

It definitely sounds like Landen would be better off with you than where he is now.


Sandi ~ learning to live in a world obsessed and infested with wheat.

"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows" probably was not referring to us . . .

"For the love of money gluten is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." (apologies to 1 Timothy 6:10 (NASB)

The person we most dislike is still a soul for whom Christ died. (David Jeremiah)

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Just wanted to add my "thumbs up" that you should offer, but echo what ravenwoodglass said about the car seat. Option "B" could be for you to pick one up at a yard sale or resale shop. If you do that, be sure to check the recall list before you buy.

It definitely sounds like Landen would be better off with you than where he is now.

I actually have a spare one.


~~~~Gluten Free since 9/2004~~~~~~

Friends may come and go but Sillies are Forever!!!!!!!

36_22_10[1].gif

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Hi Amanda--

I vote "yes', too. Sounds like it would work beautifully for everyone :)


Patti

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

"When people show you who they are, believe them"--Maya Angelou

"Bloom where you are planted"--Bev

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Sounds like a good idea. One other thing, in my opinion, you need to check your states laws and determine if you need to become a "licensed child care" provider.

I think (at least here in Canada that is the case) that you only need to do that if you actually run a real daycare and have several kids from different families every day.

Amanda, I say, 'go for it'! You enjoy the little guy, he is happy with you, and you will get some extra money to safe for your house.


I am a German citizen, married to a Canadian 29 years, four daughters, one son, seven granddaughters and four grandsons, with one more grandchild on the way in July 2009.

Intolerant to all lectins (including gluten), nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and salicylates.

Asperger Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome, Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency), hypothyroidism, fatigue syndrome, asthma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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I think (at least here in Canada that is the case) that you only need to do that if you actually run a real daycare and have several kids from different families every day.

I think in the US, for us it would not apply since we are just a babysitter of one child.


~~~~Gluten Free since 9/2004~~~~~~

Friends may come and go but Sillies are Forever!!!!!!!

36_22_10[1].gif

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I think in the US, for us it would not apply since we are just a babysitter of one child.

I agree. People in PA do it all the time.

What a wonderful time saver for the mom and you getting more $$ for your home.

Thrilled for you. Bet the Mom will be thrilled too.

Judy


Judy in Southern CA

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I agree. People in PA do it all the time.

What a wonderful time saver for the mom and you getting more $$ for your home.

Thrilled for you. Bet the Mom will be thrilled too.

Judy

I am really glad she is our below neighbor, we get a long so well. Our last below neighbors were a bit difficult and not respectful at all.


~~~~Gluten Free since 9/2004~~~~~~

Friends may come and go but Sillies are Forever!!!!!!!

36_22_10[1].gif

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I am really glad she is our below neighbor, we get a long so well. Our last below neighbors were a bit difficult and not respectful at all.

Hi Amanda.

I did this for my neighbor next door. People help neighbors all the time.

We got the $$ out of the way first............and then it was separate from our 'neighborly --do for free casue we're neighbors' kinda thing. We have each other house keys, get mail when on vacation etc.

Also it would just be SO east for everyone. I hope she wants to do it.

love judy


Judy in Southern CA

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Sounds like a great situation for both of you. I used to babysit for a family in my home.


Mom of:

Carleigh~ 10 years old, allergic to wheat, milk, peanuts, strawberries, and many EAs. She is currently soy-light and egg-light ~ celiac testing inconclusive by allergist.

Gluten-Free since 10/05 She's a gymnast. : )

Nick ~ 13 years old with no known allergies.

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Amanda

One word of advice: you many have to declare the pay as "income" and pay federal and state taxes on it.

Reason: as a nurse, the Mom may have a Flexible Spending Plan at her work and this plan actually reimburses her for a portion (if not all of her daycare expenses). However, she will have to name you as the receipient of the funds and may have to supply them with your social security number. This will force you to have to delcare this pay as income.


Husband has Celiac Disease and

Husband misdiagnosed for 27 yrs -

The misdiagnosis was: IBS or colitis

Mis-diagnosed from 1977 to 2003 by various gastros including one of the largest,

most prestigious medical groups in northern NJ which constantly advertises themselves as

being the "best." This GI told him it was "all in his head."

Serious Depressive state ensued

Finally Diagnosed with celiac disease in 2003

Other food sensitivities: almost all fruits, vegetables, spices, eggs, nuts, yeast, fried foods, roughage, soy.

Needs to gain back at least 25 lbs. of the 40 lbs pounds he lost - lost a great amout of body fat and muscle

Developed neuropathy in 2005

Now has lymphadema 2006It is my opinion that his subsequent disorders could have been avoided had he been diagnosed sooner by any of the dozen or so doctors he saw between 1977 to 2003

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Not only do I agree with everyone that it's a win-win situation, but if I were your neighbor, I wouldn't DREAM of leaving my baby with a sitter like the one she has!!! That "sitter" sounds like she can't be trusted to keep the baby safe, let alone well-cared for.

The sooner you offer, the better. I just have a VERY creepy feeling about that "sitter."

Your neighbor is so lucky she has you as a friend and neighbor!

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Not only do I agree with everyone that it's a win-win situation, but if I were your neighbor, I wouldn't DREAM of leaving my baby with a sitter like the one she has!!! That "sitter" sounds like she can't be trusted to keep the baby safe, let alone well-cared for.

The sooner you offer, the better. I just have a VERY creepy feeling about that "sitter."

Your neighbor is so lucky she has you as a friend and neighbor!

ITA!!


Mom of:

Carleigh~ 10 years old, allergic to wheat, milk, peanuts, strawberries, and many EAs. She is currently soy-light and egg-light ~ celiac testing inconclusive by allergist.

Gluten-Free since 10/05 She's a gymnast. : )

Nick ~ 13 years old with no known allergies.

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Not only do I agree with everyone that it's a win-win situation, but if I were your neighbor, I wouldn't DREAM of leaving my baby with a sitter like the one she has!!! That "sitter" sounds like she can't be trusted to keep the baby safe, let alone well-cared for.

The sooner you offer, the better. I just have a VERY creepy feeling about that "sitter."

Your neighbor is so lucky she has you as a friend and neighbor!

I couldn't agree more. Thanks :)


~~~~Gluten Free since 9/2004~~~~~~

Friends may come and go but Sillies are Forever!!!!!!!

36_22_10[1].gif

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It's all good, Amanda! Can't think of a single negative in all of this.....Everyone benefits, particularly Landen, as he'll have you two great caregivers! :)


Emily

diagnosed type one diabetic 1973

diagnosed celiac winter 2005

diagnosed hypothyroid spring 2006

But healthy and happy! 253.gif

11 year-old Son had negative blood panel, but went on gluten-free diet of his own volition to see if his concentration would improve, his temper abate, and his energy level would increase. Miraculous response!

The great are great only because we are on our knees.

--Pierre Joseph Proudhon (1809-1865)

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