Wedding Etiquitte

[SGWhiskers]

I'm attending a fancy schmancy wedding at the end of the month on a yaht. The event will be catered. I have quit eating out because of too many cc issues. If I want to be social, I bring a lunch box and order a drink. I'm usually with friends or family that are prepared for the lunch box. Also, I've discovered, I'm sensitive enough that I can't go to the grocery store when they are baking and the cafeteria at my office sometimes makes something that forces me to leave my office to escape the shared ventilation system.

So, here are my social and survival questions:

Do I bring a lunch box or to go platter from gluten-free restaraunt 20 minutes from the yaht?

The ship sails for 3 hours, and if I get an airborne reaction, I'll be on the deck getting fresh air. What if this comes on during the ceremony! What if it is raining & I'm sure it will be cold? OK, that is more of a whine than a question.

How do I elegantly carry in my lunch box or a to go platter? I doubt people will be bringing gifts on the yaht.

Do I need to ask permission from the yaht people first before bringing my own food or another restaraunt's food onboard?

[captaincrab55]

I'm attending a fancy schmancy wedding at the end of the month on a yaht. The event will be catered. I have quit eating out because of too many cc issues. If I want to be social, I bring a lunch box and order a drink. I'm usually with friends or family that are prepared for the lunch box. Also, I've discovered, I'm sensitive enough that I can't go to the grocery store when they are baking and the cafeteria at my office sometimes makes something that forces me to leave my office to escape the shared ventilation system.

So, here are my social and survival questions:

Do I bring a lunch box or to go platter from gluten-free restaraunt 20 minutes from the yaht?

The ship sails for 3 hours, and if I get an airborne reaction, I'll be on the deck getting fresh air. What if this comes on during the ceremony! What if it is raining & I'm sure it will be cold? OK, that is more of a whine than a question.

How do I elegantly carry in my lunch box or a to go platter? I doubt people will be bringing gifts on the yaht.

Do I need to ask permission from the yaht people first before bringing my own food or another restaraunt's food onboard?

I went to awedding 3 weeks ago.. The Bride to be checked with the caterer (Atlantic Caterers / Baltimore MD) and they responded with a list of foods that were gluten-free... They listed foods that contained Gluten too. They did say that request seemed to be a Normal thing anymore and were willing to make a special meal at no additional cost.

Just ask..

[Jestgar]

Bring anything you want, just put it in a big purse/bag/tote.

Don't ask anybody. They're all worried about the wedding anyway.

Sit near an exit. If ya gotta run for it, cough quietly a couple times into your hand, then leave (as if you are trying not disturb the ceremony.

[jststric]

I like the idea of asking the catering company about gluten-free choices. I have alot of other intolerances/allergies also, so if it were me, I would simply eat well before attending and perhaps taking a small baggie of snack food so I could add a beverage or two and feel good about socializing.

[jkmunchkin]

I would suggest eating before you go. I know I'm going to be in the minority here, but I just think it's in poor taste to bring your own food to a wedding. 3 hrs. is not a very long time. A few little snacks in your purse is ok, but I just think bringing a whole lunch box of food is a bit of a spectacle and uneccessary for the amount of time you'll be there.

[tarnalberry]

If you count the three hours of the wedding, the drive there, the drive back... Well, if I'm hypoglycemic, that might be way too long to not have any food. Of course, I would just bring something small and simple and not eat it during the meal if it were a more formal event for a couple you do not know very well. (I have done both options - bring something to put on my plate, at a wedding of friends' who were totally fine with that and bring a couple snack bars or the like in case I need one.)

[chatycady]

I would suggest eating before you go. I know I'm going to be in the minority here, but I just think it's in poor taste to bring your own food to a wedding. 3 hrs. is not a very long time. A few little snacks in your purse is ok, but I just think bringing a whole lunch box of food is a bit of a spectacle and uneccessary for the amount of time you'll be there.

Excellent advise!

[Krysten]

I would not take a chance w/the catering company simply because I had gone over the who gluten-free thing for me at my own wedding & I still got sick even though everyone swore they were on it. Apparently the chef wasn't fully aware of what gluten-free cooking was.

[JillianLindsay]

I went to a wedding a couple weeks ago and called ahead to speak to the caterer and to ask if they could provide a gluten-free option for me. I'm not nearly as sensitive as you (and my meal was bland and not very tasty), but this worked for me.

It doesn't hurt to call. If, after speaking with them, you don't feel they are knowledgable enough, then by all means eat a good meal beforehand and sneak snacks in your purse. If you feel safe and comfortable enough to trust them then you can eat with everyone else

Good luck whatever you decide! At my wedding we had someone allergic to dairy (severe reactions) and another allergy (can't remember what). I just let the catering company know in advance and they prepared special dishes and the guests went unscathed and were able to enjoy the meal with everyone else.

Jillian

[luvs2eat]

I would not take a chance w/the catering company simply because I had gone over the who gluten-free thing for me at my own wedding & I still got sick even though everyone swore they were on it. Apparently the chef wasn't fully aware of what gluten-free cooking was.

My sentiments exactly. With the very best of intentions of chefs/cooks, you can easily become glutened. I'd take my own food w/ me... something unobtrusive like a sandwich.

[jkmunchkin]

Are you actually hypoglycemic? Even if that were the case, I would still say eat before. I'm sure we've all eaten something in the car before. I would keep another snack in the car for after the wedding. Again, I may be completely in the minority here, but I just think it's rather tasteless to whip out your own meal at a wedding. Clearly I understand the constraints we are all under and I would just never consider doing that. I've gone to plenty an event where I ate before hand and just had a few drinks while everyone ate.

[RESO]

Are you actually hypoglycemic? Even if that were the case, I would still say eat before. I'm sure we've all eaten something in the car before. I would keep another snack in the car for after the wedding. Again, I may be completely in the minority here, but I just think it's rather tasteless to whip out your own meal at a wedding. Clearly I understand the constraints we are all under and I would just never consider doing that. I've gone to plenty an event where I ate before hand and just had a few drinks while everyone ate.

No offense, but as someone who is hypoglycemic, I say you can eat in the car beforehand but make sure you at least drop a gluten-free energy bar that has plenty of protein in your purse. A hypoglycemic must carry food at all times, and I think it would be much more tasteless to pass out during the wedding and ruin their entire day than to whip out a plate of food. It's only supposed to be three hours but if you are out on a boat things can happen and what if you end up out for 5 or 6 hours or more instead? Bring food with you and hide it, you don't need the hassle if they try to keep you from bringing it. Also, I would step out on the deck and eat rather than "whip out a plate of food" at the table if you are concerned about that. Tell the bride and groom beforehand if you feel it's appropriate.

[modiddly16]

i usually just stroll in with my box of nut thins or something. i am always the person with the non-fancy purse to make sure i can carry my food most of the time, its my friends weddings and they get it anyway. I've called caterers and they've promised me a good meal and I still chicken out when I get there. No one should care if you bring in your own food!

[elefky]

I'm with those that say eat before and bring a small snack. I think it's inappropriate to bring a "lunchbox" to an affair unless you are VERY close to the hosts and they understand. Eat before you go, eat a little something in the car, take small things in your bag (nuts, snackbar, raisins) and have something in the car waiting for you for the ride home.

This is not to say that we should be embarrased by our situation but just that the spotlight should be on the hosts

[SGWhiskers]

I'm not hypoglycemic, but I do eat frequently and feel badly if I go more than 3-4 hours. The trip over to the marina is 2 hours+2 hours back + 30 min ceremony+ 3 hour cruise, A 3 hour cruise... (The weather started getting rough, The tiny ship was rocked....) Sorry, couldn't help myself there.

Ok. I'll eat my main meals in the car on the way there and back. Then, I'll snack from my purse during the meal or afterwards with drinks. I'm not going outside unless I'm feeling sick. I still want to socialize, and I'm not a leper.

Is the option of having gluten free food from the somewhat nearby gluten free restaraunt brought/delivered at my expense and plated by the caterers out of the question etiquite wise? If I choose to call the caterer, do I have to go through the bride? I don't want to put any whiny stress on her.

If I just snack out of my purse, do I let them serve the dish, or say no thank you? Oh, what misery it would be to stare at a georgeous steak that is just CC away from a great meal. I'm sure I'll be sitting with my siblings and parents at my table.

OK, now on with what to wear. Maybe sis has a dress.

[finally diagnosed]

I'm not hypoglycemic, but I do eat frequently and feel badly if I go more than 3-4 hours. The trip over to the marina is 2 hours+2 hours back + 30 min ceremony+ 3 hour cruise, A 3 hour cruise... (The weather started getting rough, The tiny ship was rocked....) Sorry, couldn't help myself there.

Ok. I'll eat my main meals in the car on the way there and back. Then, I'll snack from my purse during the meal or afterwards with drinks. I'm not going outside unless I'm feeling sick. I still want to socialize, and I'm not a leper.

Is the option of having gluten free food from the somewhat nearby gluten free restaraunt brought/delivered at my expense and plated by the caterers out of the question etiquite wise? If I choose to call the caterer, do I have to go through the bride? I don't want to put any whiny stress on her.

If I just snack out of my purse, do I let them serve the dish, or say no thank you? Oh, what misery it would be to stare at a georgeous steak that is just CC away from a great meal. I'm sure I'll be sitting with my siblings and parents at my table.

OK, now on with what to wear. Maybe sis has a dress.

Hi, I am going to a fancy wedding in two weeks, it is in one of those big old castles. My husband is taking me out for a nice lunch before we have to attend, just in case my meal does come w/something it shouldn't. When I go to partys or events I usually bring, cheese, crakers, grapes something similiar to what they are having for starters, and toss my own food on a plate. I do it very discreetly, and as for the meal if I can't eat it, I will share it with whomever is at the table with us. I see as an advantage sometimes, one you already have food in your belly before the cocktail hour and second you aren't so full from dinner that you can dance and have a good time. As for the dessert I can take it or leave it. I know that when I go back to my hotel room, I will have something else to eat. But I carry a big bag and always try to accomodate for myself. If you are sitting with your family taking your snacks out of your purse is no big deal, and if a stranger asks why you are doing that, just simply say 'FOOD ALLERGIES", and let it go. No need to explain every gory detail. Good Luck. I plan on having fun at my wedding regardless of the food or not, I see it as a night out, drinking , dancing , talking and no children!

[Jestgar]

If it were my wedding I would: a- want my guests to have a good time and b- not want them to bug me with how they did it.

If you want to ask the caterers about their food, just call them. If you're bringing your own, just do it. When you show up, head for the kitchen and find who to talk to. Leave your box of food with them with carefully written instructions attached to the box in case the person you talk to isn't there.

[RESO]

If it were my wedding I would: a- want my guests to have a good time and b- not want them to bug me with how they did it.

If you want to ask the caterers about their food, just call them. If you're bringing your own, just do it. When you show up, head for the kitchen and find who to talk to. Leave your box of food with them with carefully written instructions attached to the box in case the person you talk to isn't there.

I would be too paranoid to leave the food with the kitchen. I would be afraid someone would either contaminate the food by accident or throw it in the garbage. Just sayin....