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Kissing And Cross Contamination

PennyH

By PennyH
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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PennyH Newbie
PennyH
Posted

Kissing can gluten us?! I'n a newbie and just learning new things. My niece had been very sick after years of gluten-free relief. After much research, and then self testing, she figured out that when she kissed her boyfriend after he ate gluten the cross contamination would make her sick. I've also read this on the internet. This is scary news. I'm dating - how do I protect myself and communicate this without sounding like a crazy person? Bring my date a tooth brush with gluten free toothpaste??? Anyone else dealing with this? This gets overwhelming, I keep finding out more dangers. I'm new to this and I find I can only research a little bit each night without getting anxious.... friendly support out there?

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eatmeat4good Enthusiast
eatmeat4good
Posted

Welcome!

It's overwhelming at first to read and try to absorb all the intricacies of cross contamination and to know where traces of gluten can be found. But yes, kissing is a source of gluten. But the solution is simple. Brushing well. If you are dating it does take the spontaneity out of the first kiss. But I call it the Kiss of Death to kiss someone who ate gluten. In the beginning I wasn't sure that would be true? Could be true? Is it true for me? Well, yes, it is true. So now I have to have the "celiac talk" before the first kiss. But it's way better than being sick for a week.

Don't worry. There are people who are married to gluten eater's who manage quite well. Their spouses know not to kiss until they brush. It's probably a little harder when you are single and on a new date. But gluten is a word most people have at least heard of. So yeah, bring an extra toothbrush for them...why not?

It's kind of hard to wrap your brain around all the changes you have to make. But even kissing can be managed.

dilettantesteph Collaborator
dilettantesteph
Posted

It's possible that it won't be a problem for you. Our individual levels of sensitivity vary.

Adalaide Mentor
Adalaide
Posted

This is just my opinion, but if you start carrying around a toothbrush with you to first dates, you'll never have a second date. That seems just a little overboard to me. What are you supposed to do? Hand someone a toothbrush after the meal and be like "hey, just in case you decide to kiss me..." At the same time though, you do have to protect yourself and celiac isn't some sort of deep dark secret you should be hiding. You'll probably end up discussing it at some point early on with the choosing of a restaurant or some such. If a first date has gone well and he is leaning in you can always mention the bread, offer a cheek and ask for a raincheck. Heck, if you find yourself a true sweetie maybe you'll find him eating gluten free for the evening and he can plant one right one you.

PennyH Newbie
PennyH
Posted
  • Author

This is just my opinion, but if you start carrying around a toothbrush with you to first dates, you'll never have a second date. That seems just a little overboard to me. What are you supposed to do? Hand someone a toothbrush after the meal and be like "hey, just in case you decide to kiss me..." At the same time though, you do have to protect yourself and celiac isn't some sort of deep dark secret you should be hiding. You'll probably end up discussing it at some point early on with the choosing of a restaurant or some such. If a first date has gone well and he is leaning in you can always mention the bread, offer a cheek and ask for a raincheck. Heck, if you find yourself a true sweetie maybe you'll find him eating gluten free for the evening and he can plant one right one you.

Thank you for the support. This is tricky. I'm a mature woman finding myself back out in the dating world so there is a lot to discuss on first dates!

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

In my humble opinion, discussing the fact that you have celiac should be approached almost right away with a new person in your life and with a sense of humor. (It's not like you have leprosy or a communicable disease that may turn him off.)

But, flat out, a kiss from someone who has consumed gluten? well, let's get real here---if it involves swapping spit--well, yes, it is a problem. Without getting too "icky"--there is mucosa in your mouth lining and swallowing ...etc, etc.

So yeah, you WILL have to address it at some point.

(BTW, it is one of the MANY reasons why my hubs --voluntarily--went gluten-free with me. thank heavens. :lol: )

dilettantesteph Collaborator
dilettantesteph
Posted

The president of our local celiac support group is the only celiac in her family. She cooks with flour, kisses her kids and husband, and all her tests are negative.

I seem to have problems with my husbands kisses even when he eats gluten free processed foods. I need to stick to unprocessed foods only.

This isn't a one size fits all disease, as Irishheart has said. She may know your sensitivity from other posts.

I just thought that it would be a good idea to mention that not every celiac has problems with this.

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dani nero Community Regular
dani nero
Posted

There is nothing difficult about explaining Celiac if the guy you are dating is smart, caring and open-minded

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

This isn't a one size fits all disease, as Irishheart has said.

True, true!

And since I do not undulge in heavy petting with anyone but my gluten-free hubs, I cannot say whether it would affect me or not. :lol:

( I, personally, would never bake with wheat flour for someone else in my kitchen ever again. (not after what I've been through) With all we know about CC, I am surprised any celiac would, but to each his/her own.)

All I know is ....several well-respected veterans on here report glutenings from kissing spouses who had just consumed a beer or gluteny foods, so I think it is worth considering when being careful about CC.

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IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

.... if the guy you are dating is smart, caring and open-minded

If you find one of those, you have hit the jackpot. :)

icm Apprentice
icm
Posted

I don' think the term 'celiac' needs emphasis. There are lots of food intolerances and allergies out there. Just tell your partner that you can't eat gluten.

icm Apprentice
icm
Posted

Is it just me or are girls generally more understanding than guys?

dani nero Community Regular
dani nero
Posted

Is it just me or are girls generally more understanding than guys?

Nah... gals can be as equally stubborn

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

I don' think the term 'celiac' needs emphasis. There are lots of food intolerances and allergies out there. Just tell your partner that you can't eat gluten.

It's not about eating gluten. It's the issue of CC from a kiss.

Celiac is nothing to be ashamed of.

Why not be up front about it?

dani nero Community Regular
dani nero
Posted

It is hard to explain to people who never heard of Celiac the concept it cc.. it is always far fetched that an atom of gluten has an effect.

icm Apprentice
icm
Posted

Yes I never thought about the cc issues associated with a kiss. I'll have to rethink how I go about things then too.

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

It is hard to explain to people who never heard of Celiac the concept it cc.. it is always far fetched that an atom of gluten has an effect.

It is a strange concept to understand indeed. It was strange at first for ME to wrap my brain around the fact that this one food protein had been killing me and turning me into an invalid for years. But, it is what it is.

Anyone with a brain can grasp it ---if it is explained the right way.

Does it have to be dinner conversation? No, not right away.

But, if you are planning to have a relationship with someone past a first date, you might as well tell the truth and see how he/she reacts.

As many others have pointed out on here (I believe it was my wise friend, SKYLARK who said it first?)...it's a "jerkometer" :) and if the person does not accept you as you are---then, bye bye.

dani nero Community Regular
dani nero
Posted

As many others have pointed out on here (I believe it was my wise friend, SKYLARK who said it first?)...it's a "jerkometer" :) and if the person does not accept you as you are---then, bye bye.

:) :) :)

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

:) :) :)

:wub::lol: :lol: :wub:

eatmeat4good Enthusiast
eatmeat4good
Posted

If the issue is CC, then the description would have to be a bit more than just I don't eat gluten.

Not eating gluten is a personal choice then and it wouldn't effect whether or not someone else eats gluten or brushes their teeth between eating and kissing. Being Celiac means that trace gluten is much more serious than just not eating gluteny foods just because one prefers not to. It's all about protecting yourself. I use humor and relate it to having to ask a partner to use a condom...only they don't make condoms for kissing...so you have to brush your teeth for me if you wanna kiss me.

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

.....only they don't make condoms for kissing...so you have to brush your teeth for me if you wanna kiss me.

and, there it is!! amen, sistah! :lol:

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