Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Non-Supportive Family?


Tamesis

Recommended Posts

Tamesis Rookie

Hey everyone,

I wonder if you have had trouble getting family on board with a gluten free diet for your non-diagnosed little one?

My daughter is only 15 months, and they will not do testing until she is at least 4. However, as I have had success with a gluten free diet (Not biopsied celiac, but positive blood results - i'm certain of it) But, due to severe seborrhea, undigested food, distended abdomen, and fussiness, the doctor would like us to trial a gluten free diet with her.

I am meeting resistance though....DH doesn't really "GET" or believe in CC.....Doesn't understand why I want to pretty much overhaul the kitchen and get rid of anything that could be harboring gluten....Any suggestions? I really need him to GET it! I've pretty much gone ahead and gotten rid of everything, regardless of what he thinks, but I REALLY don't need this to be a continued problem between us. :( He also leaves gluten-y blood crumbs EVERYWHERE, when my 15 month old crawls, likely gets these on her hands, then eats with her hands. ARGH. Also, I know i'm going to get resistance from his extended family, and I NEED him on board to back me up. :(


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



kareng Grand Master

Maybe he needs to talk to the doctor? As for his family, if they won't go along with the diet the doctor prescribed, they should not have any unsupervised time with the little one.

GFSAHmom Rookie

I'm sorry your DH isn't being supportive. I think he should talk to the doctor but ALSO talk to someone with celiac. If he understood the pain and suffering his daugher may be going through, maybe that would help him understand. Our son has celiac but my husband and I don't. As parents, we have to put our wants aside sometimes and do what's best for our kids. (although I would really enjoy a REAL donut) I don't know you or your husband's names but I will add you to my prayers tonight. I pray you will be able to help her as a team...It's much easier that way :) I'm sure he'll catch on soon enough. I hope the diet works for your daughter.

p.s. Perhaps you could give him a small snack cupboard that he can keep his GLUTENY snacks in and only eat them when she is not around. then wash his hands and use a paperplate so he doesnt drop crumbs. It's a great compromise!!

Marilyn R Community Regular

Hi Tamesis,

I don't have a child, but my DP acted like one when I went gluten-free. It's a big change for them, and takes time for them to get used to it. I think they go through grief from the loss of "it". They've had "it" there whole lives and all of a sudden we take it away.

I had a "Come to Jesus" talk with him a couple of times. He started getting it. But he was still Dennis the Menace.

We went from shared kitchen to gluten-free home to shared again. (Only because my sister felt sorry for him, and gave me a dorm sized refrigerator for him to keep in a spare room.)

Part of the "Come to Jesus" talk was about autoimmune diseases. I told him it was very likely for me to acquire another one if I didn't mind my p's and q's about this one. Then we discussed Lou Gehrig's Disease, MS, Lupus, Cancer, Leukomia, Diabetes and family history. I didn't feel like talking about that stuff, but wanted him on the same skate board.

I think that's when he became proactive and more protective. He's a big sports fan and historian and knows about Lou Gehrig. He stepped up to the plate after we talked about bad autoimmune diseases. He finally understood it could get really, really bad (even worse than the bad stuff we've been through). That was my partner's hot button, not sure it's your husband's. Since I was ready to whack him over the head with a cast iron skillet and be done with him, try to think about what's really important to your husband. It's probably you and your child's health, but he hasn't been able to get his brain beyond the gluten yet.

Tamesis Rookie

Thanks so much everyone for the replies. :)

I had a breakdown this afternoon, and we had a heart to heart...He's going to try to be more understanding. He wasn't too understanding when I said we need a new high chair tray though! LOL (Ours is scratched, plastic, I'm concerned about gluteny bits sticking in there), but, we're going to compromise with just advancing her to a booster seat at the table. :) He said he wants my doctor to tell him that we need new bake ware, plastic ware, etc. I don't know how knowledgeable she is with gluten cc, so I'm hoping we don't get to that, and we can just be in a good place from her on in. I think he's scared, and just doesn't know how to talk about it. She's our first....I was OK with me being sick, heck, almost happy, because I've been looking for answers for so long. But my baby....that's causing me to breakdown on a daily basis!

Cara in Boston Enthusiast

I think the concept of cross-contamination is the hardest to grasp. My husband even thought the word "contamination" was extreme and exaggerated . . .because it is not a "poison" or anything, it is wheat! Well, it is a poison to me and one of our children so he had to start thinking of it as such. Even the teachers at school thought we were being extreme because when we told them, it was like, "he just ate wheat last week and was fine . . . all of the sudden he can't even have a crumb left on the table?"

For my husband, I used the one thing that grosses him out the most . . . the cat litter box (he won't even go near it.) I told him to imagine that wheat/gluten was stinky cat litter. If I cleaned out the cat box with my hands and then made him a sandwich, wouldn't he want me to wash my hands first? Would he want to eat out of a scratched up plastic bowl if it had been filled with dirty cat litter - even after it was washed? NO. If I spilled cat litter on the counters, even a tiny bit, shouldn't it be carefully cleaned up before we prepare food on the counter? I explained how we had to replace anything scratched or porous (wooden spoons) and he finally got it.

Now he has a tray with edges that he uses whenever he makes a sandwich so all the crumbs are in one place. Other than sandwich bread and a few boxes of cereal, everything else in our kitchen is gluten free.

In a shared kitchen, be sure to have separate dish sponges, peanut butter/jelly/butter jars, etc.

I am confused by why your doctor won't test her to be sure. Why wait? And why start the gluten-free diet if you plan to test in the future? She will have to resume eating gluten (and the reaction is usually worse after being gluten free) for an extended time and even then, the results could be unclear. I would question your doctor a little more. It sounds like she has it (positive blood test). Either you doctor needs to diagnose her based on that, or do a biopsy and then diagnose her. It is hard enough to get everyone on board when there is an actual diagnosis. I can only imagine how tough it would be if it was just a "trial diet."

In the beginning, my husband's extended family didn't get it. They somehow thought I had come up with this wacky diet on my own and were convinced a little "treat" here and there wouldn't hurt him ("don't tell mommy"). Thankfully, they finally get it - continued exposure to gluten puts him (and me) at risk for some much more serious, sometimes irreversible conditions and it is just not worth it. Also, their incessant questioning of it just made him feel like he was different and missing out on something everyone else was enjoying. Now we focus on what he CAN have, not what he has to avoid. They've changed from "his mom won't let him have that" to "that is not safe for him to eat." Even just the wording sends a very different message.

Good luck to you.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - Colleen H replied to Colleen H's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      15

      Ibuprofen

    2. - Colleen H posted a topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      0

      Methylprednisone treatment for inflammation?

    3. - cristiana replied to Colleen H's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      15

      Ibuprofen

    4. - Jmartes71 posted a topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      0

      My only proof

    5. - Scott Adams replied to wellthatsfun's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      1

      still struggling with cravings


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,871
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    GR82BNTX
    Newest Member
    GR82BNTX
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Colleen H
      Yes thyroid was tested.. negative  Iron ...I'm. Not sure ... Would that fall under red blood count?  If so I was ok  Thank you for the detailed response..☺️
    • Colleen H
      Hi all !! Did anyone ever get prescribed methylprednisone steroids for inflammation of stomach and intestines?  Did it work ??  Thank you !! 
    • cristiana
      Hi Colleen Are you supplementing B12/having injections? I have learned recently that sometimes when you start addressing a B12 deficiency, it can temporarily make your symptoms worse.  But it is important not to stop the treatment.  Regarding your problems with anxiety, again that is another symptom of a B12 deficiency.   I didn't know what anxiety was until it hit me like a train several months before gastrointestinal issues began, so I can certainly relate.   Two books which helped me hugely were At Last A Life by Paul David (there is a website you can look up) and The Depression Cure: The Six-Step Programme to Beat Depression Without Drugs by Dr Steve Llardi.  Although his book is aimed at people who have depression, following the principals he sets out was so helpful in lessening my anxiety.  Llardi suggests we need to focus on getting enough: - physical exercise - omega-3 fatty acids - natural sunlight exposure - restorative sleep - social connectedness - meaningful, engaging activity   ... and we should feel a lot better. That is not to stay you must stop taking medication for depression or anxiety if you have been prescribed it, but adopting the changes Dr Llardi sets out in the book should really help. Can I just ask two more questions:  1) you say that you are B12 deficient, did they test your iron levels too?  If not, you really ought to be checked for deficiency and, 2) did they check your thyroid function, as an overactive thyroid can be cause rapid heartbeat and a lot of coeliacs have thyroid issues? Cristiana        
    • Jmartes71
      Hello still dancing around my celiac disease and not getting medically backed up considering Ive been glutenfree since 1994.All my ailments are the core issue of my ghost disease aka celiac disease. Im angery because the "celiac specialist " basically lightly dismissed me.Im extremely angery and fighting for a new primary care physician which is hard to do in Northern Cali.So currently without and looking.Im angery that its lightly taken when its extremely serious to the one who has it.My only evidence is a brochure back in the days when I got news letters when I lived at my parents.It was published in 1998.I was diagnosed before any foods eliminated from my diet. Angery doctors don't take seriously when Im clearly speaking.I did write to the medicine of congress and have case number.
    • Scott Adams
      I totally get this. It's absolutely a grieving process, and it's okay to feel gutted about the loss of those simple joys, especially at 18. Your feelings are completely valid—it's not about being ungrateful for your amazing boyfriend, it's about mourning the life you thought you'd have. That "tortured by the smell" feeling is so real. It does get easier, I promise, but it's okay to sit in the sadness and just vent about how much it stings right now. Thanks for sharing that. Celiac.com has published a book on our site by Jean Duane PhD called Gluten-Centric Culture, which covers many of the social aspects of having celiac disease: This chapter in particular covers issues around eating with family and others - Gluten-Centric Culture: Chapter 5 - Grabbing A Bite Together:    
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.