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Significant Other To Celiac

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Posted 14 August 2013 - 02:09 AM

thank you so much for posting this, chrisz - it sure helps to see the other side of the picture :)  and some great advice that is unique to the situation - you have the perspective that we do not, awesomely helpful -  glad you are feeling better!   


No problems whatsoever notme! I am actually indebted to this forum and incredibly grateful for all the advice that is posted on a daily basis. There are so many sides to this disease. I'm just getting to a stage where things are a bit clearer after the first few hellish months - were it not for the great advice on here those hellish months may have been extended much further into the future. So many great tips on here have aided my recovery. So thanks y'all!

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Posted 14 August 2013 - 07:55 AM

i know what you mean about things being clearer!   i have no idea how i got my kids through to adulthood and worked full time as well - i was sick for a very long time until they finally figured it out.  i am assuming you are on the younger side of the spectrum, so you are ahead of the game.  it doesn't go away so you have to learn to manage it - after years of giving this speech to my type 1 diabetic son, i had to take my own advice when i got diagnosed.  certainly not the same as taking a pill and you can't 'adjust' it with an injection if you mess up.  but it can be done :)  it can be discouraging to look at the 'big picture' because it's going to overwhelm you.  take it day by day and soon it will be second nature.  oh, and welcome to the best club you never wanted to join  ^_^

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misdiagnosed for 25 years!
just as i was getting my affairs in order to die of malnutrition...
gluten free 7/2010
blood test negative
celiac confirmed by endoscopy 9/2010


only YOU can prevent forest fires - smokey t. bear


have a nice day :)

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Posted 26 August 2013 - 06:57 AM

I have adopted a gluten free diet and i am lactose intolerant so we have been getting creative with food and thats been fine but lately he is just letting his disease rule over him hence we dont go anywhere and i mean its understandable because its a fear of getting sick but when all you do is go to work and be home... its not living and i cant handle being a slave to the american economy and not doing anything fun. what fun things do celiacs do that they do not get sick from and are inexpensive?

Uh? Celiac is only about food, you can do anything else that isn't food related and have fun again, movies, attraction park, oh yes you can even get wasted just make sure it's gluten free alcohol.


There is a ton of gluten free alternatives to eating too as long as he doesn't have  a list of a thousand allergic reaction though.


Maybe try to get him to stop being so scared while also not neglecting the possible dangers of him getting sick, it might not be all you, maybe he is very that scared, so help him out on that.

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Posted 26 August 2013 - 09:25 AM

I'm just reading this thread now, and wanted to add my 2 cents worth.


It seems to me like your boyfriend might be having some issues other than just wanting to avoid getting glutened, and that you should sit down together and talk about it openly. Is he really just afraid of getting sick, or is he avoiding going out for other reasons? I know I'm definitely guilty of using "I can't eat anything" as an excuse to just stay home and be anti-social.

Also, is he feeling ok otherwise? If he's still not doing well it could be that he has another intolerance (dairy, soy, etc) that should be dealt with. Maybe he is still recovering from gluten damage (which can take many months), maybe a vitamin deficiency. But you know, it's on HIM to take care of his own health. You can be there for him and be supportive and eat gluten free and make sure the house is safe, but he has to take responsibility for his own health (physical and mental) and you should not feel like you are contributing to his condition, or making things worse. (someone mentioned that he might have slacked off when you stared going out, but that would have been HIS decision, not yours).

Being Celiac is tough. Eating out is tough. Accommodating other people can be tough, but we educate ourselves and do whatever we can. I will not let fear or getting sick stop me from doing what I want, even if it means bringing my own food.


What I really wanted to tell you, though, that even though he might be afraid to do things, you don't have to restrict yourself because of it. If you want to go do something, do it. If he really doesn't want to, do it on your own. Go out with your friends, go eat foods you like (as long as you brush your teeth before any kisses all should be fine), go do the things you want to do. Try your best to spend time together, and go out and do things when you can. (Go for a walk, take a picnic, etc etc). Just don't feel like his restrictions should restrict what you want to do.

The fact that you want to help him stay healthy is great, and its obvious you really want to make this relationship work, but you can't make someone else do what they aren't willing to. So, yeah, its difficult, and frustrating, but don't let it restrict you. Encourage him to educate himself more, look into any other problems, and to honest with himself and with you.

I wish you much luck.


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~ Be a light unto yourself. ~ - The Buddha

- Gluten-free since March 2009 (not officially diagnosed, but most likely Celiac). Symptoms have greatly improved or disappeared since.
- Soy intolerant. Dairy free (likely casein intolerant). Problems with eggs, quinoa, brown rice

- mild gastritis seen on endoscopy Oct 2012. Not sure if healed or not.
- Family members with Celiac: Mother, sister, aunt on mother's side, aunt and uncle on father's side, more being diagnosed every year.

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