Embarrassed...

[creid]

First I must mention my co-workers are generally supportive about my newly required diet which is why this mornings events were so infuriating…..

My boss decided to surprise the staff with a full breakfast spread from Panera. She apologized that there was nothing for me. My co workers where toasting their bagels and gushing over the danish. I was ok (sort of), until somehow me and my diet became the topic of conversation, then the conversation turned into jokes which resulted in people offering and pushing food at me. I went to my office to let my embarrassment and anger settle when a coworker walked in with a smirk and offered to give me a few bucks to go buy a piece of fruit or “whatever it is you eat.”

I cant tell you how little I feel. It is hard enough to get use to this, now I have to worry about defending myself. Why do people have to make fun of what they don’t understand? I suppose they weren’t as supportive as I had thought.

[jenvan]

Wow. That is flippin' rude! If they've been pretty supportive before, probably the 'mob mentality' got to them all... I'm sure you do feel awful. Just remember, their actions are not a reflection on you, but on themselves and their obvious lack of understanding. By the grace of God (as I like to say), they themselves are not also Celiacs. Offices can be strange environments for this sort of thing, people always bringing in food etc, and caring about co-workers, but oftentimes, b/c they aren't your 'true' friends, not investing much time to understand you. I encourage you to try and bring in some gluten-free treats sometime. For our office Christmas party, I made loaded blondies...and everyone thought they were great--gluten-free or not. I was pretty damn happy about that--like, gluten-free food isn't for losers! At least its Friday and hopefully you'll be out of there soon! Sorry for the morning!

[Judyin Philly]

She apologized that there was nothing for me. HOW NICE OF HER!!!!!

Creid-

I am soooo very sorry. Don't even have words right now to tell you how sorry i feel about your horrid morning. I'll have to think about it becasue right now i'm so angry and i want to write something comforting and supportive. I'll have to let some others on the board do that...right now i have to calm down.

I'm glad you could reach out to us on the board .....If I was you...the way i feel...I'd walk off the job and take an 'sick afternoon'. How insenitive can people be.

[key]

Wow, that is awful. Yeah, I hope they never have celiac or some other disease themselves or their children! They were very rude to you. Obviously they don't understand the disease at all, but that doesn't give them the right to be that rude to you. Yeah, I have to say that eating at other peoples houses, restaurants and situations like that are the hardest part of this disease.

Hugs from here,

Monica

[dlp252]

I too am so sorry this had to happen. I don't suppose I'll ever really understand it. I really does sound like mob mentality took over.

[floridanative]

Dear creid - all I can say is that I think you work with a bunch of jerks (your insensitive boss included) and I'm so sorry that happened to you. My motto is 'what goes around, comes around'. These people will get their due one day.

Have a great weekend and happy holidays to you!

[jerseyangel]

That was unbelievibly rude of them to treat you that way. Sometimes when people don't understand something or are uncomfortable with a situation, they make jokes. Your boss really set the tone when she brought in food and announced that there was nothing for you. Not that I would expect someone to know what to get, but she could have at least tried. I only hope, as the day wears on, that someone there will realize how you must have felt and come talk to you. Don't feel small--they are the ones that should feel that way.

[creid]

So as the day has worn on we celebrated a birthday in the office with a strawberry shortcake for all (except me of course) However, someone did step out and get a fruit bowl with a note to please join in on the party. I went to show I was the bigger person, but all I wanted to do was knock the cake off the table

[traveljunkie]

Are you kidding??? How insensitive, immature and rude! I just can't believe the mentality of some people. You'd think coworkers would be a little more sensitive. Would they treat someone with diabetes, or a severe allergy to peanuts that way? They were acting very ignorant!

Don't let it get to you! We all have to deal with insensitive jerks at one point or another. It is hard when I have to eat at friends of parties. Sometimes I just lie and tell people I'm on some fad diet, that seems to be more accepted!! I just don't have the patience to educate all about gluten intolerance! lol

Anyways, don't let this spoil the holiday season for you and know you're not alone out there dealing with this!!

Happy Holidays

Charlene

[Nantzie]

How awful. I'm just so glad you found us here and you didn't have to go through this without people to talk to who understand.

I just don't understand how people can be so cruel about something that doesn't effect them one bit. It's not like THEY would have to miss out on the food. All they had to do is be polite. Why is that so hard?

Grr...

Nancy

[Jeepster]

I get that at work too - the puzzled look, the remarks such as " on your wierd diet" or "whatever it is that you CAN eat!" Really terrific stuff at this time of the year with the Holiday parties starting up. If it gets bad enough I will wiggle out of a party where the pressure seems most intense, opting to attend the ones with bigger groups of people to get lost in, or where the food choices are better.

Even my father-in-law (80 year old italian who loves his italian food) will act totally surprised again and again that I can't eat the bread he brought to dinner, and will almost always follow up with a bigger surprised look when I tell him I can't eat the pasta either!! It's like we never had the conversation the first 100 times. (I just remind myself that he is 80 after all)

[celiachap]

I keep printed articles (such as the Wall Street Journal one from last week), the Triumph cards, and packages of gluten free food to show them.

If anybody is curious, I give him or her copies of the printed materials and start acting like an anti-gluten "evangelist", lol. Believe me, they'll act differently once you give THEM the business! I tell them how I was sick my whole life, and am recovering nicely since going gluten free. You will likely be the first Celiac "authority" that they've ever come across - and it may take a few "sessions" with some people until they get it. Tell them that the doctors don't even have a clue, how almost one in a hundred people have Celiac - and that only 3% of them are aware of it.

You have to lay it on thick, and place a lot of emphasis on the undiagnosed majority of celiac sufferers.

You will soon find that people will be coming to give YOU information, enthusiastically telling you about news articles they've read, and how they've seen the words "gluten free" on products like vitamins & foods, etc. Until they know what it's about, words like "celiac", "gluten", etc. are over the heads of most people. If most DOCTORS don't even know what it is yet, we can't expect much from the rest of the population until the information becomes more widely disseminated across the board.

Good Luck

[ianm]

I have been there, boy have I been there. I used to be the butt of everyone's jokes because of my brain fog and obesity. Now that I have energy and mental clarity they whine and gripe because they can't keep up with me. Whenever someone flops their gut up onto the donut table and say's, "Ha! Ha! you can't have one." or some other dumb-@ss remark I lift up my shirt, show them my abs and say, "Ha! Ha! you don't have these." I then show them a picture of my exceptionally attractive girlfreind and say "Ha! Ha! you don't have one of these." Stick to your guns and stay gluten free for it is you who will be healthy enough to have the last laugh.

[fisharefriendsnotfood]

I'm so sorry. That must have sucked. But, this is an opportunity to show you really don't care what they say. If they make fun of you or push food at you, just smile and say, "Oh, well!" and carry on a conversation with someone that isn't being mean and rude to you. Or, if it's your boss or someone who cares how many sick days you take, then say, "Oh, sure! Thanks for offering me this danish." Start to reach for it, but before you touch it, say, "Oh, but wait - if I eat this, I won't be able to come to work for a week. You're okay with that, right?" Say it totally seriously with a straight face. Maybe then they'll think twice.

-Jackie

[Guest nini]

oh man that is sooooo rude! it never ceases to amaze me how absolutely insensitive some people can be.

where I work they have seen me go from being very very ill and obese, to having lost 95 pounds over the last 2 1/2 years (yup just hit the 95 pound lost mark) and am now healthier than anyone else in the office. They don't give me CRAP about my food anymore. They even let me pick the restaurant for our Christmas lunch on Wednesday. (we are going to a BBQ place where I have thoroughly checked out the menu options and know what ingredients are in things and how the food is prepped) I know there is at least 4 or 5 things on the menu I can choose from so that's cool...

anyway, at first my coworkers weren't so understanding, and my boss would even send me to Krispy Kreme to buy donuts for clients... until I broke down in tears in his office one day and told him how cruel that was to do to me. They've gotten much better now that they have seen the "miraculous" improvement in my health and that I do actually eat quite normal food!

[jknnej]

Oh see you have to understand my personality to get this, but I LOVE when people say sh!t like that to me.

ESPECIALLY when they are women cus' I say back: "Oh I don't mind....I don't need all of those extra carbs. You know they go straight to your thighs" Oh, I've never said that to a woman who didn't immediately drop her bagel!!!! Or they look down at their plates and suddenly stop eating! It's hilarious!!!!!

Seriously, though, the best way to handle idiots like that is to act like you don't care. Once they see it doesn't bother you they won't say anything anymore.

The person who came into your office with money? I would have said, "Thanks but I already ate." What an idiot.

[tarnalberry]

I would encourage you to talk to your boss about the hostile workplace the other employees are making. Not about the food - she acknowledged that she left you out, and sometimes, that's all you can get - but about the employees rude behavior. Regardless of what they are belittling you about, it's harassment, and if you've got any sort of code of conduct, they're probably violating it. Baring that, an eloquently worded email to the whole group showing themselves for the sniveling little kids they are would be fun too. :-P

edited note: yeah, the last suggestion isn't actually serious. you'd have to be Shakespeare not to get people angry about that one. but, depending on the size of your workplace, this may be the sort of thing that it is appropriate to take to HR, certainly if it happens with any regularity.

[VydorScope]

I would encourage you to talk to your boss about the hostile workplace the other employees are making. Not about the food - she acknowledged that she left you out, and sometimes, that's all you can get - but about the employees rude behavior. Regardless of what they are belittling you about, it's harassment, and if you've got any sort of code of conduct, they're probably violating it. Baring that, an eloquently worded email to the whole group showing themselves for the sniveling little kids they are would be fun too. :-P

I dunno, that could start a bad cycle of building anger. I would recomend caution if you follow that path.

[RiceGuy]

Believe it or not, I got the same sort of crap when coworkers heard I was getting sick from yeast. Boy, what a horrible time that was, so I can relate to your situation.

However, one day I walked into the boss's office and plopped down a book about all the illnesses yeast causes. I later saw another worker reading it! So, you might want to sprinkle copies of articles about other diseases that are caused by Celiac disease, like thyroid, diabetes, cancers, etc. Likely others in the office are suffering and they don't get answers from their doctors either. Sometimes when the timing was right, I'd slip a comment into casual conversations that would really perk other's attention. Some health related factoid that they aren't aware of, but would concern them. Then they start getting all paranoid 'cause they realize how uninformed they are. After awhile you might get to be the resident "health guru".

One thing I know worked is when I'd bring in some huge and tasty thing all for myself. Eating it in front of them got all sorts of looks like I was "so rude for not sharing". They'd even ask about it when the aroma got the best of them. It was a small office, so you'd have to judge for yourself what tactics to use, if any.

Good luck. I hope you don't have to endure that again.

[jknnej]

I would definitely stay clear of talking with the boss or distributing Celiac stuff. It's just my own experience but you can create a hostile work environment for yourself and be miserable forever because of it.

It sounds to me like you have an insensitive boss and quite a few insensitive coo-workers. That being said, if you complain you're probably going to get labeled a complainer and a non-team player. That has happened to me.

I think the best defense is to stay clear of luncheons (if you must attend due to requirements, go to the farthest acceptable area away from the food.) Bring some of your own food and put it on a plate. No one will notice it's not the buffet food and hence no one will ask you about it.

Ignore your co-workers and your boss and don't make a big deal of it.

When my friend used to hear how unfair my job was and how corrupt, she would always ask why I didn't say something. But my company wasn't like that. No one cared. So you just got labeled if you did that. That is why I encourage you to just let it ride. Many others would not agree and it's just my opinion.

[tarnalberry]

When my friend used to hear how unfair my job was and how corrupt, she would always ask why I didn't say something. But my company wasn't like that. No one cared. So you just got labeled if you did that. That is why I encourage you to just let it ride. Many others would not agree and it's just my opinion.

That's a good point - it depends on your company. I work in a huge company where they have to have the resources to deal with these sorts of things for employees and in an area of it where the managers are well trained to understand that they're butt's on the line if they ignore their employees' issues. But, of course, the issues have to be approached with GREAT tact and consideration, and ONLY the portion of the issue that has to deal with demotivation of the workforce and the hostile environment can be a part of it.

On the other hand, I know there are workplaces that have a personality that doesn't allow someone to be different, and you're right, in those sort of situations, you just kinda have to suck it up and ignore it. It ticks me off that management, in places like that, ignore their legal responsibilities, but it happens, and we've got to work within the boundaries we choose to work in. (Somehow, quiting to get out of that environment, over something like that, seems a bit rash. ;-) hehehe)

[skoki-mom]

What a bunch of butt heads. I'm not very good at quick come backs, but I think I would try to keep some sort of stock answer for such people to the effect of "I hope you never have to deal with an illness that makes you feel painfully different and isolated from everyone else. But if you do, I hope no one ever treats you the way you just treated me".

Would I ever have the guts to actually say that to anyone? I dunno, I'm getting sick and tired enough of this that I just might....................

[jkmunchkin]

Your co-workers should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. This is the type of behavior I wouldn't be shocked to hear about from some kids in middle school, but adults in a professional environment. These people are truly mean, pathetic and disgraceful humans. I'm so sorry you had to have this experience.

Although my co-workers may tease me sometimes about my new diet, it is not such a malicious way. It is in a cery joking manner. In fact they have gone out of their way to order me gluten-free brownies on my birthday and have gone with me on several gluten-free shopping trips.

If you are comfortable with it, I think you should tell your co-workers how hurtful their behavior was. You are not eating this way by choice. You have a condition that this is a required way of life for you.

[skbird]

Or, if it's your boss or someone who cares how many sick days you take, then say, "Oh, sure! Thanks for offering me this danish." Start to reach for it, but before you touch it, say, "Oh, but wait - if I eat this, I won't be able to come to work for a week. You're okay with that, right?" Say it totally seriously with a straight face. Maybe then they'll think twice.

Jackie - that is a good one! I'll file it away, though my new workplace is very supportive. Of the 6 employees, one is allergic to garlic, one is on Weight Watchers, and the third is vegan. So they all understand very well having a diet that doesn't allow you to eat what most people do.

And Creid - I'm really sorry. I have gotten teased before. Sometimes, if it's in good fun, I'm ok with it - heck I make fun of myself. But what you went through was not ok. I hope the weekend helps you feel better.

Stephanie

[Becky6]

I am so sorry! Something similar happened to me last week. I have been eating gluten-free for a week and a half now and we used to order from a pizza and sandwich place. The receptonist asked if I wanted to order and I said well I am on a gluten free diet so it may be tough. She said what? What is gluten? You are weird!! It really bothered me! Then she said well, I always get a salad with my meal and I always toss it. You can have that. I explained about the dressing that it could have gluten. she said she would ask and tell them not to put it on. Well it gets there and dressing was on there. she said she didn't ask cause she didn't want them to laugh at her! LAter we got chocolate covered pretzels as a gift in the office and she made a point to say look at these yummy foods! Oh thats right you are the weird-o that won't eat glutton! GRRR. Sorry to make this about me but I wanted to let you know that you were not alone!!