The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

This makes you glad to be gluten free:

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OMG. . . . . .....

[jerseyangel]

OMG. . . . . .....

My thoughts eggzactly! <pukephace>

When I phirst saw them, I thought it was sandwich flavored soda

I remember Jones (I think it was) a couple years ago had soda that tasted like things like stuffing and mashed potatoes.

[kareng]

My thoughts eggzactly! <pukephace>

When I phirst saw them, I thought it was sandwich flavored soda

I remember Jones (I think it was) a couple years ago had soda that tasted like things like stuffing and mashed potatoes.

It's much worse than the Jones green bean caaerole soda! And it's "good" for at least a year.

[Jestgar]

So......????? Are you going to meet?

tomorrow

I'll ask him to bring a candwich

[kareng]

tomorrow

I'll ask him to bring a candwich

We will want a full report!

[celiac-mommy]

Went shopping wif my mama today. She let me dress her up all day and she refused to buy anything because she's convinced she's the biggest heffer ever! She freakin wears a size 29 jeans, like a size 8... Now I know where I get my body image issues...

I sent him 'how doth the little cat' last night and he returned this whole long commentary about meter and rhyme and use of concrete and abstract and all kinds of stuff I never considered 'cause I just write to express emotion.

It's all very curious.

Does this bother you or turn you on? You're one of the smartest, quick-witted people I've ever met, he'd better be able to keep up with you, you deserve no less!!

oh yeah, and I totally believe in ghosts. When I went to Auschwitz I somehow ended up touring the camp all by myself. It has been left as it was found, the buildings intact, some of them with the collected concrete memories of the inhabitants - shoes, luggage, etc.

I believe in ghosts.

Good Lord. I'm not sure I would have been brave enough to go through there alone..... Oh what the spirits could tell

You need to send him another poem.

Oh Mystery Man,

Do we dare to meet?

Are you recklessly messy,

or obsessively neat?

Do you roll your TP to the front or the back?

Do you snore? Do you stink? Dentures covered in plaque?

Are you five hundred pounds? Scoff at exercise?

But most vital of all.... . . . .. . .... .... . ...I need your thumb size.

:lol: Fabulous!!!

[Jestgar]

Went shopping wif my mama today. She let me dress her up all day and she refused to buy anything because she's convinced she's the biggest heffer ever! She freakin wears a size 29 jeans, like a size 8... Now I know where I get my body image issues...

Get over it. You are absolutely gorgeous. And you are an amazing person. You could be twice your size and covered in warts and you'd still be far above 99% of the population.

Does this bother you or turn you on?

hmmm. the latter. I'm so used to being a scientist that to have somebody recognize, and appreciate, that sort of softer side of myself is a very bizarre experience. I'm not entirely certain I know how to relate on that level.

I have to skip out to the theater tonight, so we've only scheduled one hour for a drink. It's like having a (what did you call it?) a date call to rescue me if it's going badly, but we both know it's coming. It's a good thing. I'd hate to be impulsive.

[curlyfries]

tomorrow

I'll ask him to bring a candwich

Soooo.......when will you tell him about...... . .

.. .... ..us?

Is that something one would do on a first date?

.. .. ....or is it best to wait a while?

[Darn210]

Soooo.......when will you tell him about...... . .

.. .... ..us?

Is that something one would do on a first date?

.. .. ....or is it best to wait a while?

Are we considered . . . "baggage"???

[Jestgar]

Are we considered . . . "baggage"???

Maybe, but at least the kind with wheels so it's easy to drag along.

[celiac-mommy]

Get over it. You are absolutely gorgeous. And you are an amazing person. You could be twice your size and covered in warts and you'd still be far above 99% of the population.

Ahhh, thanks. I have much more confidence now than when I was younger, I just see where it came from now. I've tried really hard over the last 10 years to really focus on my strengths and not my weaknesses. Watching her and listening to her yesterday was so difficult. She's my hero and it was really hard to listen to her berate herself nonstop. I finally told her that's enough, and STOP!!! She bought nothing, but I let her loose in my closet and she found a pair of jeans and 2 shirts. She tells me how good I look and blah, blah, blah, but she still didn't connect the fact that she fit into MY jeans and MY tops....

hmmm. the latter. I'm so used to being a scientist that to have somebody recognize, and appreciate, that sort of softer side of myself is a very bizarre experience. I'm not entirely certain I know how to relate on that level.

I have to skip out to the theater tonight, so we've only scheduled one hour for a drink. It's like having a (what did you call it?) a date call to rescue me if it's going badly, but we both know it's coming. It's a good thing. I'd hate to be impulsive.

Yes, one must always have the bad date call all set up before a first date. Sounds like you have a perfect situation. I hope you have fun though!

Soooo.......when will you tell him about...... . .

.. .... ..us?

Is that something one would do on a first date?

.. .. ....or is it best to wait a while?

:lol: My husband does get a bit jealous sometimes. It's a part of my life that's difficult to be a part of. He wants to know all about you's but gets too confused when I ramble on about who said and did what. When I told DH and transients about Jess's Auschwitz experience, they all perked up. No one could believe you went in there alone. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to handle that by myself. Too emotional.

[kareng]

Another stinking hot day here! J went to the Ozarks & the lake with a friends family. M is working at a nature day camp and today was campfire day so he's hot but full of S'mores.

So nothing psilly here. I could go get the joke book?

[psawyer]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Why the long face?"

[Darn210]

Maybe, but at least the kind with wheels so it's easy to drag along.

Oh . . . that's good . . . . . . wait . . . . . . so we're baggage and . . . . . . we're "easy"??

[kareng]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Why the long face?"

I saw that in the Joke Book!

Oh . . . that's good . . . . . . wait . . . . . . so we're baggage and . . . . . . we're "easy"??

I kinda like being baggage!

[Darn210]

I kinda like being baggage!

Hopefully, we're small/carry-on size . . . otherwise, Jess has to pay $25 to take us anywhere.

[kareng]

A joke (not from the kid book):

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to the new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick."

"Huh," the younger doctor said, "pretty sneaky. I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with another woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

You've probably been doing too much work for the church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."

As they left, the elder doc said, "Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?"

"Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."

[jerseyangel]

I kinda like being baggage!

Baggage, ok.. an old bag--not so much

[elye]

Hopefully, we're small/carry-on size . . . otherwise, Jess has to pay $25 to take us anywhere.

OMG.. . . . . .gotsta tell youse guys, this is an exclusively YANKEE airlines add-on......I was shocked to discover, as we were booking our flight to Cheeeeecago and found that it was cheaper to fly with United rather than Air Canada, that there is an automatic fee for checked baggage??? With United, American Air, Delta.... . . . What in hell??

"Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."

When does Jyessss get home from her date????? After the show. . . ....

Jyessss! Surely you brought your iphone with you, and can give us a quick update.......

C'MON!!!

[kareng]

When does Jyessss get home from her date????? After the show. . . ....

Jyessss! Surely you brought your iphone with you, and can give us a quick update.......

C'MON!!!

Darn time difference. She probably hasn't even met him yet. Its only 2:30 her time. Waiting is so hard...

[celiac-mommy]

2 of my favorites:

Q-What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A-Nacho cheese!!! :lol: :lol:

Gits me every time

DD told me this one a few years ago, I thought it was great:

Q-What did the banana say to the Dr.??

A-I don't "peel" well...

[jerseyangel]

A-Nacho cheese!!!

Yep--that one never gets old

[kareng]

Here's a joke:

Man: I'd like to call you. What is your telephone number?

Woman: It's in the phone book.

Man: But I don't know your name.

Woman: That's in the phone book too.

[elye]

Woman: That's in the phone book too.

[Lisa]

Hi Psillies! Just sliddin' in here. Did Janut post her OBX picture here, has she had second thoughts (common sense thoughts), or did I miss it.