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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

Wonderful news. :D

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Well, I guess you were right, because....

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

I bought myself three books at Walmart to celebrate!!!

Yeah! Now I can uncross my fingers. Have to pry them apart.....Ahhh!

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

YYYYAAAAAAAAAYYYY, BHUNN-BHUNN!!

Um, you'd best establish very quickly your need to be online frequently... . . . . ...on wif US.. . . .... .B):D

Hee! YEah, I'll put that in my hiring papers!

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

Yeah! Now I can uncross my fingers. Have to pry them apart.....Ahhh!

Hope y'didn't hurt yerself!

tumbleweeds.......

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Hope y'didn't hurt yerself!

tumbleweeds.......

Twas worth it....you got the job. When do you start?

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Well, I guess you were right, because....

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

I bought myself three books at Walmart to celebrate!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Knew you'd get it!!!!

Hope one of the books wasn't the Proper Care and Feeding of a Marriage by Dr. Laura--cuz that bi-otch is ruining my life right now!!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Gahhh, the PHLUID ONSLAUGHT CONTINUES! This time of the occular ilk.....DD has some yucky thang goin' on with one eye - - conjunctivitis er sumfin'. . . .. .. ..... .

I haven't flipped over a magic post.....what in hell's going on here? :huh::lol:

Thank gawd I am only working very part-time right now....seems all I do each day is take family individuals to and from appointments. Wish we could arrange things such that all of our appointments - - check-ups, emergencies, nagging things -- could be all booked into two solid days, from 8 to 6. Then, nothing for a year. So much more efficient.....we could all mark our toothaches, sore throats, pap smears and endoscopies into our day planners, just blackening in those two day squares.

Man, I should be runnin' things.. . . . . . .. ..

:rolleyes:

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JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Knew you'd get it!!!!

Hope one of the books wasn't the Proper Care and Feeding of a Marriage by Dr. Laura--cuz that bi-otch is ruining my life right now!!

y'know, I never liked Dr Laura. I think she's mean for shock value, which works for some people, but any doctor worth their salt should be able to operate in more than one way.

And no, I bought mystery novels!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Gahhh, the PHLUID ONSLAUGHT CONTINUES! This time of the occular ilk.....DD has some yucky thang goin' on with one eye - - conjunctivitis er sumfin'. . . .. .. ..... .

I haven't flipped over a magic post.....what in hell's going on here? :huh::lol:

Thank gawd I am only working very part-time right now....seems all I do each day is take family individuals to and from appointments. Wish we could arrange things such that all of our appointments - - check-ups, emergencies, nagging things -- could be all booked into two solid days, from 8 to 6. Then, nothing for a year. So much more efficient.....we could all mark our toothaches, sore throats, pap smears and endoscopies into our day planners, just blackening in those two day squares.

Man, I should be runnin' things.. . . . . . .. ..

:rolleyes:

I didn't have any phluid issues yesterday (that I know of). Sorry they are happening to you. Would be nice to get it all problems & appoitments over at once, 2 days for medical type, 2 days for appliance & house fixes, a day for car problems. Arrange that, will ya?

y'know, I never liked Dr Laura. I think she's mean for shock value, which works for some people, but any doctor worth their salt should be able to operate in more than one way.

And no, I bought mystery novels!

I love mysteries!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Patti- I didn't get to watch the NJ housewives last night. How was it? Have you picked your new house next door to them?

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Patti- I didn't get to watch the NJ housewives last night. How was it? Have you picked your new house next door to them?

Twas good...Dina's lips are a lot bigger than last season, though :lol: Jacqueline's new baby is adorable--really cute. If you do want to catch it, Bravo repeats these episodes over and over plus they always show the previous week's episode just prior to the new one. Tis me guilty pleasure :ph34r:

Actually, we will be living not far from where they live, as in pretty close. Mark's new office is in the same town where Danielle lives! Maybe I'll run into one of them at the local Whole Foods, er sumphin B)

Bunnie--I'm not a Doctor Laura phan either....

I think Em is on to sumphin, as usual :D If only all the mundane appointments, errands, and necessary taxiing to and fro could be taken care of inside a single week back to back.... :rolleyes:

We have a wee bird who shows up at out bathroom window (opaque rain glass) and taps as though he wants to come in. He's not stuck there or anything--he comes and goes at will but it's so phunny whilst I'm taking a shower to hear him out there tapping wif his widdle beak. :D

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

y'know, I never liked Dr Laura. I think she's mean for shock value, which works for some people, but any doctor worth their salt should be able to operate in more than one way.

She comes across as a woman hater. If all's we'd do is give "our men" sex, then we'd have the perfect marriage--Oh, and you mustn't work outside the home or you're a bad mom and wife, even if you love your job and it's the job that keeps you sane. Of course DH LOVES the book and think she makes perfect sense <_<

Patti- I didn't get to watch the NJ housewives last night. How was it? Have you picked your new house next door to them?

Yeah, shall we be seeing you on TV next season?? :D

We have a wee bird who shows up at out bathroom window (opaque rain glass) and taps as though he wants to come in. He's not stuck there or anything--he comes and goes at will but it's so phunny whilst I'm taking a shower to hear him out there tapping wif his widdle beak. :D

I think you should let him in, see what he wants :P

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

We have a wee bird who shows up at out bathroom window (opaque rain glass) and taps as though he wants to come in. He's not stuck there or anything--he comes and goes at will but it's so phunny whilst I'm taking a shower to hear him out there tapping wif his widdle beak. :D

We have some wrens that come in the screen porch doggy door. They sit on the table or chairs & yell at us until we come over to the slider & acknowledge them. Thier new thing is to sit outside the 14 years olds open window & tell him to get up as soon as the sun starts to rise.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I caved and bought the cats some Friskies. It was apparently the right thing because I got a dead mouse this morning. :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

I caved and bought the cats some Friskies. It was apparently the right thing because I got a dead mouse this morning. :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

Awwwwwwwww, Jyesss. .. .. . ....isn't that.....um.. . ...wonderful.... .. .. .:unsure::blink:

:lol:

OMG, Patteigh - - this is either adorable, or a little creepy.. ... . ....some bird is tappin' on yer window whilst you are showering?.. . . . . . ........ . maybe he's pecking out some morse code for you to decipher. Listen carefully next time.... . ....peck.....peck.... ...peck. . ...... . ...please......refill.... . ...... . ..the.... . .bird feeder......out....... .. .front... .. . ...

:rolleyes:

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

**@@**CONGRATULATIONS BUNNEIGH!!!!!!!!**@@**

I hope they deserve you!!!!

Em- Glad your mom is steadily better! You'll know she's out of the woods when she starts putting on her own Sharpies :D Thinkibg of her and you :wub: :wub: :wub:

My kitteh looks at her bum and says, Eeeeww, do I gotta do this? How distasteful!!

:lol: :lol:

The funny part was that the lady called while I was in Stew Leonard's and I LOST MY *HIT after I hung up, so everyone was staring at the crazy lady jumping around. Oh well. :D

Love it!

Hope one of the books wasn't the Proper Care and Feeding of a Marriage by Dr. Laura--cuz that bi-otch is ruining my life right now!!

Cannot stand her. Actually, I can't stand her, Dr Phil or Oprah (I know I'm in the minority- used to like her when she was human). No tolerance for people who think they have all the answers. :angry:

Gahhh, the PHLUID ONSLAUGHT CONTINUES!

Thank gawd I am only working very part-time right now....seems all I do each day is take family individuals to and from appointments. Wish we could arrange things such that all of our appointments - - check-ups, emergencies, nagging things -- could be all booked into two solid days, from 8 to 6. Then, nothing for a year.

Sorry about the eye goo. Yucky.

I agree Em- I could devote up to a week. We women folk have all those test- mammies grammed (I'm due- YAHOO!), pap smears, hair cuts. Then never have to worry about those again all year. Imagine cleaning your house once a year? Oh yeah...

Actually, we will be living not far from where they live, as in pretty close. Mark's new office is in the same town where Danielle lives! Maybe I'll run into one of them at the local Whole Foods, er sumphin B)

We have a wee bird who shows up at out bathroom window (opaque rain glass) and taps as though he wants to come in. He's not stuck there or anything--he comes and goes at will but it's so phunny whilst I'm taking a shower to hear him out there tapping wif his widdle beak. :D

Patti's gonna be a REAL Housewife of Jersey!

That bird sounds so cute!

She comes across as a woman hater. If all's we'd do is give "our men" sex, then we'd have the perfect marriage--Oh, and you mustn't work outside the home or you're a bad mom and wife, even if you love your job and it's the job that keeps you sane. Of course DH LOVES the book and think she makes perfect sense

Absolute load of crap!

I caved and bought the cats some Friskies. It was apparently the right thing because I got a dead mouse this morning. :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

Jess- read this as "I craved" and thought why the he-e- double hockey sticks is Jess craving Friskies? Oh, they gave you a mouse. Little :wub: ers

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Cannot stand her. Actually, I can't stand her, Dr Phil or Oprah (I know I'm in the minority- used to like her when she was human). No tolerance for people who think they have all the answers. :angry:

We are of the same mind on this, Bevvie--and it goes double fer "Dr." Phil--what a freakin load <_<

We saw a used condom on the ground in the Wal Mart parking lot this morning.... :blink:

Jess's kittehs are so happy!! Such a nice mommy :D

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

We saw a used condom on the ground in the Wal Mart parking lot this morning.... :blink:

OMG. . .. . those People of Walmart... .. .. .... ..look what they're up to NOW....in the parking lot, yet... . ...

:lol:

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

Forget The Thriller dance, gals. According to my information, *THE* dance everyone must learn these days is... The Pole Dance!! Yep, it's gone mainstream. And I'm about to tell you how to do it. (You will have to find yer own pole - maybe the one in the fire station <_< ???) You will also have to make your own clothing selection :P

* Stand behind the pole, with one foot close to the base. Using your dominant arm, grab the pole at eye level. Eyeball the pole and lean backwards, straightening your arm as you do.

* Begin to circle the pole, keeping your outside leg straight while swinging it to the side. Pivot on your inside foot and let your inside knee bend slightly as you turn.

* Put your outside foot down, just behind the other foot. Shift your weight to the back foot and hook your inside leg around the front of the pole.

* Drop your hand down the pole and arch your body backwards. Only go as far as your back will allow.

* Straighten up and swing your leg down from the pole. Repeat.

* Take a bow.

Now, your granny shoulda told you how to do this, but I bet she didn't :o because this is the latest get fit technique.

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Forget The Thriller dance, gals. According to my information, *THE* dance everyone must learn these days is... The Pole Dance!! Yep, it's gone mainstream. And I'm about to tell you how to do it. (You will have to find yer own pole - maybe the one in the fire station <_< ???) You will also have to make your own clothing selection :P

Gads!!! They have these classes here too. Would NEVER let anyone see me do this, would be horrifying for all those involved!! I do, however, have a belly dancing video that I do in the privacy of my own gym wif the door LOCKED and am fully clothed <_<:P

You's guys got any advice on how to deal wif this Dr Laura sitiation? DH thinks everything she's saying is the cure-all. At his point now, I think it would have the opposite affect. If I could git my hands on that woman..... <_<

Off to the Dr to get a strep test--again :(

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

OMG. . .. . those People of Walmart... .. .. .... ..look what they're up to NOW....in the parking lot, yet... . ...

:lol:

I was at Walmart one day. A 50ish woman put everything in her car. She pushed the cart out into the drive between parking spaces & let it roll down the row! Walmart People are scary! :o

Forget The Thriller dance, gals. According to my information, *THE* dance everyone must learn these days is... The Pole Dance!! Yep, it's gone mainstream. And I'm about to tell you how to do it. (You will have to find yer own pole - maybe the one in the fire station <_< ???) You will also have to make your own clothing selection :P

Now, your granny shoulda told you how to do this, but I bet she didn't :o because this is the latest get fit technique.

I think I would just fall & break a hip! :P

Gads!!! They have these classes here too. Would NEVER let anyone see me do this, would be horrifying for all those involved!! I do, however, have a belly dancing video that I do in the privacy of my own gym wif the door LOCKED and am fully clothed <_<:P

You's guys got any advice on how to deal wif this Dr Laura sitiation? DH thinks everything she's saying is the cure-all. At his point now, I think it would have the opposite affect. If I could git my hands on that woman..... <_<

Off to the Dr to get a strep test--again :(

Give him strep! That'll keep him busy for a day or 2. Maybe give it to Dr. Laura, too!

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

You's guys got any advice on how to deal wif this Dr Laura sitiation? DH thinks everything she's saying is the cure-all. At his point now, I think it would have the opposite affect. If I could git my hands on that woman..... <_<

I'm not sure exactly what she says, but would it be appropriate to ask him to imagine the roles reversed? If he were expected to do whatever Dr Laura says the wife should do? The way you presented it seemed a little one-sided.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

You's guys got any advice on how to deal wif this Dr Laura sitiation? DH thinks everything she's saying is the cure-all. At his point now, I think it would have the opposite affect. If I could git my hands on that woman..... <_<

Oye Rash-elle....I'll bet you rue the day you brought that woman's book into the house :( I dunno, I'd start by telling him that you have a healthy self respect and he better get his mindset back into the 21st century so ya'll can work together on yer issues....

Give him strep! That'll keep him busy for a day or 2. Maybe give it to Dr. Laura, too!

<snort>

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

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Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Open Original Shared Link

Sex is the woman's right, not the man's. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and it is one of a wife's three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce. The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation, although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah (marriage contract). A man may not take a vow to abstain from sex for an extended period of time, and may not take a journey for an extended period of time, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations. In addition, a husband's consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations is grounds for compelling a man to divorce his wife, even if the couple has already fulfilled the halakhic obligation to procreate.

Does Dr Laura tell you to go shopping????

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