Ignorant People

[clhsc]

So, we are having a party at work today. Usually we sign up for food to bring and I will bring a big salad for myself and a coworker who have celiac disease. How about this girl signed me up to bring three pounds of pasta salad? She is aware of my condition and I just thought that was tacky. I don't even like to touch wheat products because they make me break out, much less spend money on something I can't eat. I think that girl might be a bit mad b/c I didn't bring the pasta salad. Oh well! Are your coworkers so ignorant? How do you handle this problem?

I guess I will just run out and get a salad or something. I kind of feel rude bringing this to someone's party, but I don't want to starve. I checked out the menu and all I can eat are the raw veggies. At least I will have a really good salad with all the veggies. What is the proper way to handle these situations when you need to bring your own food?

Thanks!

[mommida]

I won't make anything with gluten in my kitchen!!! I have my self and two kids to keep healthy by keeping gluten out of there.

Tell the person who took it upon herself to write your name in for pasta salad, how wrong that is and why. If you spend five times the amount of money to make it gluten free and people don't eat it, or if you contaminate your personal space, that doesn't seem fair. You are bringing a salad, take your gluten free servings and put the rest out to share. What else can you do?

L.

[CarlaB]

I don't really worry about what other people think, do what is right. I would have brought something else that I could eat ... something that is an adequate substitute for pasta salad ... probably a leafy green salad with lots of veggies and potato to make it substantial like pasta salad would be. I would say to her when she assigned pasta salad that I would "obviously" be substituting something else ("Okay, but you know I'll obviously be substituting something else"). That way there will be no mistake made in the future about you bringing something you cannot eat. I would NOT spend the extra money to make a gluten-free pasta salad for a bunch of people who can eat regular pasta ... mainly as a matter of principal. If she asks why you'll be bringing something else, you just say you have to in order to be sure there is something there you feel is safe to eat -- if you bring pasta, there may be nothing for you. (Then think, but don't say, "Duh.")

When I bring my own food, I just bring my own food ... I don't think anything needs to be said. I bring my own food and usually tell the hostess ahead of time -- "I'll bring something for me to eat so you don't have to worry about how to feed me." Then they feel like you're doing them a favor ... really you are doing BOTH of you a favor. I even brought my own skillet last time I spent the weekend at someone's house.

If it's just my husband and I and someone is cooking dinner for us, I tell the cook my problem, and if they want to deal with it, I explain contamination and ingredients ... so far, so good.

If you can laugh at your situation, it makes it easier. I just laughed at bringing my own skillet and joked about being VERY high maintenance.

[spunky]

I would bring something to share with the group, but not anything I couldn't eat.

People just don't get it, and you HAVE to watch out for yourself! I'd bring a fruit/veggie plate or something to share and if they say anything about the pasta salad tell 'em you didn't feel like paying for something you can't eat and don't wanna take a chance on getting sick from having to handle it.

They still won't understand, most likely. I just take care of myself and let others think I'm a crazy hypochondriac...as long as I feel good, I don't care! They'll never understand unless they start having problems themselves, or know someone closely who does.

[CarlaB]

You know, if they really don't get it, compare it to a peanut allergy. That gets so much publicity that most people seem to at least be aware of it -- just say, "You wouldn't ask someone with a peanut allergy to bring peanut butter sandwiches, would you? You don't think they would bring them even if you asked, do you?"

Or say, "That's kind of like asking a non-drinker to bring the beer!" Surely they'd understand that!

But I'd only add those comments if there was still confusion after you did the stuff in my previous post.

[rinne]

I think your co-worker is oblivious but then many people are.

I bring my own food to events and depending on the event I may bring something to share but I wouldn't be making anything with wheat in it. I think it if it is a potluck then whoever is organizing it would be wise to accomodate people's diets.

I am new to a gluten free diet myself and am constantly amazed at what idiots people are, even after explaining to my MIL and SIL about my gluten free diet my husband and I are offered sandwiches when we visit. He can eat the sandwiches.

[Guest nini]

I'm just not even going into the office today for the office party. I don't feel like going, there won't be anything I can eat and they won't appreciate if I took the time to bring something gluten-free to share. (it's not like I have to go in today.) my excuse? I'm sick... and it's true I did spend the morning throwing up... don't know why, just one of those weird things.

[clhsc]

I brought some vegetables to add to the vegetable tray. I love your suggestions on how to handle the situation. I have some left over salad at my house from last night and I will just eat that and add lots of veggies. My family is so willing to help with family functions and such (My mom is even making my own mac and cheese for Thanksgiving), that I am so shocked when people are so ignorant.

I know I need to do what is right for my health and just ignore the stupid comments and remarks.

[CarlaB]

You know, the only time I bring food for a pitch in is if the rest of my family is coming. If I'm bringing my own food and not eating anything that someone else brought, I don't see the obligation to bring something to pitch in. That would apply in a work situation. Next time you could just say that you're not participating in the pitch in so you won't be bringing anything.

[mamatide]

How about this girl signed me up to bring three pounds of pasta salad?

I guess I would have brought a pasta salad made with Gluten-Free pasta and never said a peep - and then made sure that I was the first to serve myself at the buffet so that I'd have something safe for me to eat (that I knew was prepared with the utmost care).

I don't know that I'd have said anything at all about it otherwise.

Hope you were able to enjoy yourself just the same.

mamatide

[jerseyangel]

I'm just not even going into the office today for the office party. I don't feel like going, there won't be anything I can eat and they won't appreciate if I took the time to bring something gluten-free to share. (it's not like I have to go in today.) my excuse? I'm sick... and it's true I did spend the morning throwing up... don't know why, just one of those weird things.

I hope you feel better, Nini.

I've come to the conclusion that people may care, but they either don't get it, or they won't (and that's fine--they really don't have to) even try.

We have to be the ones to look out for ourselves. It's not being selfish--it's just a new fact of our lives.

I bring all of my own food everywhere--period. It's not hard, but does take some advance planning. Some of my family is great about it, others, I get the feeling they think I'm going overboard. I can't worry about it. I know what I need to do to keep myself from getting sick--and I simply do it.

I don't make a big deal out of it, but everyone else in my life may as well get used to it because this going to be how it is from now on.

[spunky]

On second thought, CarlaB has a good point...maybe you shouldn't really even have to worry about bringing something for everyone else if you can't eat anything there except for what you bring for yourself.

And the person who said bring gluten free pasta salad make a good point too...I guess there could be several ways to approach this kind of problem (I'm pretty new at it all myself...just now approaching one year in another couple of months), depending on if you just want to lay low and not bring any attention to it, or if it's people who will expect you to eat with them often, and in that case you might want them to not necessarily understand your condition, but at least understand that you are in a situation where you can only eat foods you bring along for yourself.

It bugs me when people keep attempting to make foods for me...puts me in a very uncomfortable situation. I've hurt so many people's feelings, and then the last time I was in that situation and the person was so proud that they'd made something gluten free...I went ahead and ate it, hoping she was right, and to avoid being rude and ungrateful...well guess what????? NEXT time, I'm not gonna worry about rude and ungrateful, because I'm STILL not quite over that one yet!!!!! Bottom line: YOU HAVE to look out for number one, no matter what! I'm learning that!!!!

[mommida]

I do like to share gluten free food and treats. Most of the time I don't tell. Sometimes it's nice to to get the word gluten free out there. Sometimes it gives me the oppurtunity to help some newly diagnosed family find great tasting gluten free food.

L.

[zansu]

For pot luck thingy's I usually just bring my own. IF I know a person and trust a person, I'll take some of theirs, But I go first. I got over that whole southern girl thing, and just make some joke about getting my food before someone drops crumbs in it. On a brighter note, when I left my last job, my co-workers went to whole foods and bought stuff to throw me a little going away party. No worry about the cookies, they were still wrapped from whole foods.

My small group Bible study went WAY out of their way to figure it out, because, regardless of what I said, they were determined to fix desserts I could eat. (The Chemistry teacher was fascinated in the difference in prep for the gluten-free mixes -- whip those brownies!).

Another woman, who was cooking chicken Gumbo for a church function, made the whole batch gluten-free, then kept a portion aside for me to avoid CC.

Some people don't get it, others really try, and some actually get it.

[clhsc]

My really sweet boss ordered me a salad from Fatz and went into great detail about NO CROUTONS, NO BREAD... and she requested that they mix it all in a clean bowl! My goodness, I love her!

[CarlaB]

My really sweet boss ordered me a salad from Fatz and went into great detail about NO CROUTONS, NO BREAD... and she requested that they mix it all in a clean bowl! My goodness, I love her!

I'm so glad it turned out well!!!

[floridanative]

I agree with the advice above me. That woman was totally out of line to sign you up for pasta anything and she should be told so. zansu is right - some people get it and go out of their way to accomodate you and you need to thank those people profusely.

Not to hijack the thread but Sat. I went to an At Home party (like Pampered Chef) and the hostess knows of my food issues as she is my workout instructor and saw how screwed up my arm was when I started her class. She had some fresh veggies and dip and corn chips that I could have. I didn't know there would be food so I wasn't hungry and it was a treat that I could have anything. What I found most interesting about the outing was that no one asked me why I wasn't enjoying all the mini quiches, cream puffs etc. I'm not sure if the hostess told them before I arrived about my food restrictions but I wasn't the last one there so everyone could not have been told. Sorry this is not meant to offend anyone but I think it's pertinent to the story.....over half the women there were somewhat or very overwight and ate the high cal stuff and not much else. I was the first to leave after placing my order as I had last minute Christmas shopping to do that afternoon. It dawned on me that since I'm fairly thin and seemed to eat like a bird, some could have thought I was anorexic or something. There was one extremely sickly thin lady there who ate lots of everything so now I don't thing she's anorexic anymore - lol! I don't care people think of me and got a chuckle out of it but I just feel certain that the hostess did say something to them before I arrived since at other similar occassions, people always asked me why I was tasting this or that. It's just the way people are so when these ladies were not that way, it didn't make sense to me.

[kbtoyssni]

I feel no guilt when I bring food only food for myself to a potluck. I'm not eating any of the other food, so I don't feel like I'm obligated to bring food for others, either. I do, however, usually bring food. I think of it as an educational thing. People usually love what I bring and it shows them how yummy and easy and "normal" gluten-free is.

[tl2277]

You know, for us this diet has to be an obsession, a daily part of our lives, but for most of our coworkers, it might be just a small fact about a colleague that is easy to forget. It infuriates us because such small details have a big impact on us. But we have to remember that for them assigning food is a relatively small detail that can't take up too much of their time. Simply mentioning the problem may be a quick and easy solution.

I'm a very non-confrontational, low-maintenance girl, so this kind of stuff is hard for me. But I have determined that I am NOT going to let people's forgetfulness or misunderstanding hurt me socially. I make a point to go to these things and try to educate people about my needs. If you just disappear everytime there's food, then they forget that they need to think about you when food is involved.

Anyway, Nini, I know you weren't feeling well this time, but I hope you'll not let them get you down next time. Feel better!

(edited to fix my confusion. sorry)

[Guest nini]

I'm feeling a little better, after my daughter's ballet class I had to drop by there to drop off my time sheet and wouldn't ya know someone says " you missed all the great food"... oh gee thanks, I wouldn't have been able to eat any of it anyway...

[jkmunchkin]

So, we are having a party at work today. Usually we sign up for food to bring and I will bring a big salad for myself and a coworker who have celiac disease. How about this girl signed me up to bring three pounds of pasta salad? She is aware of my condition and I just thought that was tacky. I don't even like to touch wheat products because they make me break out, much less spend money on something I can't eat. I think that girl might be a bit mad b/c I didn't bring the pasta salad. Oh well! Are your coworkers so ignorant? How do you handle this problem?

I guess I will just run out and get a salad or something. I kind of feel rude bringing this to someone's party, but I don't want to starve. I checked out the menu and all I can eat are the raw veggies. At least I will have a really good salad with all the veggies. What is the proper way to handle these situations when you need to bring your own food?

Thanks!

Are you friggin' kidding me!!! If I typed what I really thought about this person I think it would get edited, LOL!! That was very sweet of your boss to make sure you were accomodated.

I would maybe make a pasta salad with gluten-free pasta and bring that in...ha show her!!!!

[debmidge]

I guess I would have brought a pasta salad made with Gluten-Free pasta and never said a peep - and then made sure that I was the first to serve myself at the buffet so that I'd have something safe for me to eat (that I knew was prepared with the utmost care).

I don't know that I'd have said anything at all about it otherwise.

Hope you were able to enjoy yourself just the same.

mamatide

This does sound like the best way to handle it. Do what's best for you in the long run.

[2Boys4Me]

The only problem I can envision with the scenario of bringing a gluten-free pasta salad and not saying anything is that the type of person who put you down for the salad in the first place will see you eating it and shout, "AHA! You're eating pasta." and then not believe it's gluten-free and think you're a liar.

Woo! That was some run-on sentence.

[Jestgar]

I think I would be offended that someone decide for me what I should bring. Everyone has their specialties and favorites and should be allowed to choose. The most precise she should have been was "something starchy" if that's what was missing from th mix.

That said, I would have brought potato salad and not worried for a second that I didn't follow instructions.

[tarnalberry]

I would do one of two things here:

1) Make a pasta salad with gluten free pasta and not tell anyone until after the fact.

2) Tell the organizer that I won't be bringing pasta salad, because that obviously isn't something that I would prepare in my kitchen, but I would specify what sort of salad I'd bring as a replacement (quinoa salad, probably, getting at the same idea of a carb-based salad).