My Own Fault

[Hells Bells]

Its my own fault, I have been searching this site because I feel constantly fatigued. But then looking at my diet I eat out twice a week , a cooked breakfast with my friend and then last week I had take out chinese that I took 2 days to eat. Now feeling tired, crappy, nauseus, no energy.

I do it to myself, I can stop the chinese BUT the hard thing is the breakfast. Its my one social event, its soo nice, bacon, eggs, tomatoes, coffee and lots of chat. Sometimes after the meal its straight to the bathroom and D. Then my frind says oh its dumping syndrome she has that too. My friend is very persistant that we have it, she says you have to cheat sometimes, she is very disappointed if I don't go, its also work related, we are visiting nurses we network. I really should know better, but I am not very assertive. Its the story of my life I allow things to happen to me and pay the consequences. What can I do. I can't see any alternatives that can I do.

Can breaking the rules twice a week cause me week long fatigue. I really don't have any stamina, I am constantly craving food.

Anyones ideas welcome, I could use a good talking to.

[CarlaB]

I learned early on that eating breakfast out was nearly impossible. Sorry for the bad news. If I get glutened, I have at least 8 days of fatigue, so twice a week would hurt!

How about eating before you go, bringing along some kind of snack and just ordering a cup of coffee from the restaurant?

[ravenwoodglass]

  Hells Bells said:

Its my own fault, I have been searching this site because I feel constantly fatigued. But then looking at my diet I eat out twice a week , a cooked breakfast with my friend and then last week I had take out chinese that I took 2 days to eat. Now feeling tired, crappy, nauseus, no energy.

I do it to myself, I can stop the chinese BUT the hard thing is the breakfast. Its my one social event, its soo nice, bacon, eggs, tomatoes, coffee and lots of chat. Sometimes after the meal its straight to the bathroom and D. Then my frind says oh its dumping syndrome she has that too. My friend is very persistant that we have it, she says you have to cheat sometimes, she is very disappointed if I don't go, its also work related, we are visiting nurses we network. I really should know better, but I am not very assertive. Its the story of my life I allow things to happen to me and pay the consequences. What can I do. I can't see any alternatives that can I do.

Can breaking the rules twice a week cause me week long fatigue. I really don't have any stamina, I am constantly craving food.

Anyones ideas welcome, I could use a good talking to.

First have a (((((((hug))))), yes this will harm you. And not just in the short term. Unfortunately the gluten free diet is not one you can 'cheat just a little bit' on unless you want to not only delay your healing but also increase your risk of developing some really nasty autoimmune stuff. Is there some way you can make this social event at your house in your safe gluten-free environment? You could make it a time to share the little effort that is involved with most breakfast items and still have fun. You could also use it as a time to try and to share gluten-free foods that you and everyone else might enjoy. I tryid Glutinos raisen bread today for cinnamon french toast and was pleasently surprised. I found it toasted pretty blah. It can be so hard especially at first when you really need to heal to keep the social circles open without making yourself sick or delaying healing.

[ArtGirl]

  CarlaB said:

How about eating before you go, bringing along some kind of snack and just ordering a cup of coffee from the restaurant?

This would be my suggestion, too. Sorry you're feeling so bad.

I'm sure your friend wouldn't mind if you didn't order the restaurant breakfast. It's the time together that is important, right?

[Nooner]

Your friend cares for you and doesn't want to cause you harm. Yet she doesn't know these meals are causing you harm unless you tell her! Just let her know you are gluten intolerant, you get ill/fatigued, you will just have coffee. She'll understand.

Do you go to the same restaurant each time? Maybe you could speak to the manager about preparing eggs in a clean skillet, not on the griddle, just for you. Same with the bacon and tomatoes. If you are a repeat customer, they probably would be happy to do this for you. Many restaurants are accomodating if you just ask.

Definitely continue to go to these get togethers, just be safe. Your body will thank you.

[Guest cassidy]

You may be surprised at how good you feel if you stop cheating. It really may make a big difference. I agree with either eating before and having coffee or talking to the restaurant and seeing if they can help you. I have found that my true friends don't care what I eat, they just want to spend time with me. Maybe you will be even more fun to be around once you are feeling better

[Hells Bells]

I thank you all for your suggestions, I have explained to my friend who is a nurse about Celiac but she just does not get it. I am thinking of sharing coffee and if i can bear it watching her eat or cooking breakfast for us.

I think I just needed encouragement. I think I am still a little in denial, in my mind I still have this doubt that the doctors must have got it wrong.

thanks everyone, I will keep you informed.

This is the best support i get from anywhere.

[CarlaB]

  Hells Bells said:

This is the best support i get from anywhere.

This is why so many of us have become friends here. We all understand each other.

[sunshinen]

Ahhh denial... I'm still working my way out of it. So here's what I have to tell myself on a regular basis and what I tell anyone who tries to make me cheat. "This diet isn't a choice. It isn't optional. It isn't a fad. It is the necessary management of a disease—one that can ultimately kill me if I continue to eat gluten. Trust me, I want to cry when I smell pizza. I would love to go back to a low maintenence life, but please don't torture me by acting as if I can cheat, because I can't."

I make a point of showing people that I am tempted, that I need their help to stay healthy. People like to help. They just need to realize that this is a disease not just a diet.

Talk to your friend not only about how bad it makes you feel, but about the damage you can't feel, the secondary conditions and diseases, and draw a line. You have to stop cheating and you have to let your friend know that cheating is OUT OF THE QUESTION.

You can't blame her for not taking it seriously when you have not been showing her that it is serious. Ask her for help finding a way you can still have social time that won't be physically damaging to you. But draw the line against hurting yourself and stick with it. You owe it to yourself to be healthy and any good friend will support you in your efforts.

You can do this. And you will be soooo glad you did. It is truly amazing to feel GOOD again. It takes some sacrifice, but it is definitely worth it.

[sunshinen]

  Hells Bells said:

Can breaking the rules twice a week cause me week long fatigue. I really don't have any stamina, I am constantly craving food.

I was glutened last Tuesday. It has been 8 days, and I still am so fatigued I don't want to get up in the morning. And that was a speck of gluten.

The craving will go away when you break the cycle. I didn't believe it was possible, but it really does.

I definitely believe that you shouldn't have to give up your social life. I second that you should try talking to the restaurant manager. The bacon probably won't be safe, but they would probably be willing to cook the eggs in a fresh skillet. If they cannot do this for you, ask if you can bring food in. They might be willing to microwave something for you. Or ask if they have something that would be safe. This way they still get the business of your friend, and you can still have something to eat.

[Hells Bells]

[quote name='sunshinen' date='Dec 7 2006, 10:38 AM' post='24356 "This diet isn't a choice. It isn't optional. It isn't a fad. It is the necessary management of a disease—one that can ultimately kill me if I continue to eat gluten.

[happygirl]

think of gluten like rat poison. to us who have a problem with gluten, it IS poison.

would you be comfortable eating poison twice a week? or even risk getting it through cross contamination? (that always helps me)